If the captains had a drinking competition...
Shinigami drinking competition requested by kalikia. :)
We already considered what would happen if the espada had a drinking competition. Next up, the captains! If they decided to have a contest to see who could drink the most, this might be the result!
1. First man down: Komamura
He didn’t actually drink anything. He just sniffed the glass and said no.
Komamura: I’m pretty sure alcohol is poisonous to wolves.
2. Second man down: Ukitake
The very first glass triggered a terrible coughing fit, and he was forced to stop.
Ukitake: Y-you know, I can often do better than this!
3. Third man down: Hitsugaya
He was just waiting for an excuse.
Hitsugaya: I, uh, should help Ukitake get home. Have fun with that disgusting, throat-burning swill.
Ukitake: Shiro, you care!
Ukitake: There’s candy in my front pocket!
Hitsugaya: J-just come on!
4. Fourth man down: Byakuya
Mostly because he found the contest to be ridiculous.
Byakuya: My pride does not allow me to care about winning contests that are stupid.
Byakuya: Also I can feel my face turning red.
Byakuya: I do not like it.
5. Fifth ”man” down: Soi Fon
As soon as she felt her reflexes become impaired, she stopped.
Soi Fon: One more drink, and I will become as bad at stabbing as Aizen.
Soi Fon: I cannot let that happen.
6. Sixth man down: Yamamoto
He was doing great until the alcohol started to make him feel sleepy.
Kyoraku: Um…everyone? I think Yama-jii has actually been asleep for the last three rounds.
Kyoraku: He is *really* good at sleeping while sitting up!
7. Seventh man down: Kurotsuchi
Because that was the moment everybody realized he had been cheating the whole time.
Kurotsuchi: Excuse me, but the rules do not state that I am not allowed to give all of my drinks to Nemu who has been modified to prevent drunkenness and who is sitting under the table.
Nemu: Sorry, Mayuri-sama.
Shinji: How did we not notice this?
He was disqualified for dancing on the table.
Rose: I HAVE MUSIC IN MY SOUL AND THE REST OF YOU NEED TO RECOGNIZE
Rose: NO THE DANCE CALLS TO ME
He just got really really bored.
Kenpachi: Are we STILL just sitting here drinking?
Kenpachi: Drunken fight anyone?
10. Tenth man down: Shinji
He’s a pretty good drinker. But he can’t compete with the top three.
Shinji: I can’t wait to tell EVERYONE that I had drinks with BOTH of the sexiest lady captains!
Soi Fon: Frame it that way and I will murder you in your sleep.
11. Eleventh man down: Kensei
He’s pretty good at hiding how drunk he is. People didn’t realize how far gone he was, until he was out.
Mashiro: Don’t give up now, dummy!
Kensei: [falls face first on the table]
12. Twelfth “man” down: Unohana
Rumor has it that she left because she was bored, not because she couldn’t keep drinking. But that is only a rumor.
Unohana: I am going to stop drinking now.
Kyoraku: But we’re doing so well!
Unohana: I am going to stop drinking now.
13. Thirteenth man down: Kyoraku
And it turns out he had pregamed.
Kyoraku: I wonder if this is why I was chosen as head captain.
Nanao: That’s probably not why.
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