themostnormaltextdoctor

This blog started as a text doctor parody but has turned into an anti-work blog

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

{| Hello travelers! I am the one, the only, the l̷e̴g̵e̷n̶d̴a̴r̸y̶, Dr. False I Fication! |} {| My profession and obsession is messing with other text doctors for entertainment, and I take this job very seriously. |} {| I am a perfectly average text doctor with no connection to any other malicious entities whatsoever do not look into this |} {| I am currently taking residence in Infinite's forest, that I technically own (and that he owes three months back rent on) while hiding from JOTA's wrath (don't ask), if you happen to see him looking for me, please direct him elsewhere. |} oh I am forgetting something aren't I what else do real text doctors have fuck OH THE COMPANION {| And this is [N/A] ! my... pet... thing. who is very real trust me please he is not a sock puppet: |} _ _ _ / o O _) | _U_) |===| -----/ (| henloo :P |)

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

My brain will randomly create the wildest thoughts about life, existence and humanity then forget them ten seconds later.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

I think I saw a vampire yesterday.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

Going to the store to get a soda, I turned and saw this fucker getting out of a minivan wearing a bright orange puffy winter jacket (in like 50 degrees F), a shaded plastic face shield, long black dress pants, gloves, and putting on a fucking plinth helmet and I think the only reasonable answer is a vampire with terrible taste in clothes.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

I think I saw a vampire yesterday.

[thelemonjester]

SO APPARENTLY IF YOU HOVER YOUR MOUSE OVER THE BOOP BUTTON IT DOES A LITTLE FLIP AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE A SUPER BOOP?

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

{|One day I will use this blog for it's intended purpose.|} {|that day is not today|}

[bizlybebo]

so fucking evil that i don’t have the jagged pointy cartoon teeth that fit together like triangles. i deserve them

[theautumnalone]

Why can't the people I meet IRL be like the murderous psychos I meet on Tumblr? I want friends who would help me dispose of a body if asked.

[lakevida]

kid in the library just said "a VILLAIN who lives in the MOON is after us" so keep an eye out for that today guys

[coolandepicarchive-deactivated2]

ask meme!!!

Send me an emoji if you want to!!!

INTERACTION 💫 - I want to be friends with you! 🎀 - I consider you a friend already! 💖 - I have a platonic/QP crush on you! 💕 - I have a romantic crush on you! 💌 - I’m not currently crushing on you, but I would date you/be QPPs if I had the chance! 🌸 - We don’t talk, but I appreciate your presence on my dash! 🌷 - We don’t talk, but I would like to! 🌼 - We do talk, and I’m glad we do!

CONTENT 🌠 - I think we have a lot in common! 🌌 - We don’t have much in common, but I appreciate you! 📷 - You have a nice aesthetic! 🌙 - You have a good sense of humour!

THOUGHTS 💙 - I think you’re cool! 💘 - I think you’re cute! 🎼 - I think you’re talented! 💟 - I love you! 🌟 - You make me happy! ☀️ - You inspire me! 🌈 - You’re gay

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

Me: reaches into blender to grab a little taste My brain: what if it somehow turns on and slices off your hand Me: that's ridiculous, it's not even plugged in. Brain: what if... anyways? Me: ... Me: ok fine I will remove the blades. Me: happy now? Brain: ... Me: what now? Brain: what if... anyways? Me: HOW? Brain: ... Brain: ...ghost blades.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

Concept: A biological iron maiden. It's surface covered by a hard shell with a metallic sheen, a massive mouth filled with many rows of short, sharp teeth, and a small insect like head with large eyes.

[karcatgirl-vantas]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[skluug]

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

beautiful

makes a horrendous sound

smells absolutely awful

is very fragile

tastes delicious

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

behold, the default object!

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

Wrong! the answer is children.

[postsofanimmortal]

!!??

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

I know what I said.

[karcatgirl-vantas]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[skluug]

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

beautiful

makes a horrendous sound

smells absolutely awful

is very fragile

tastes delicious

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

behold, the default object!

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

Wrong! the answer is children.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

How did I not notice the trans flag on my first watch? Also this is your reminder that the entirety of Nimona is availible to watch on Youtube right now. Go watch it.

[anonymouscringe]

EHMM ACTUALLY!!!!!

LOOK AT THISSSS!!!!

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

ANOTHER ONE?!!! :D

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

When? Die.

[themostnormaltextdoctor]

How did I not notice the trans flag on my first watch? Also this is your reminder that the entirety of Nimona is availible to watch on Youtube right now. Go watch it.