Bad Luck Babe

Molly * 21 * confused gay * * Tired *

[inkskinned]

but i am sick of climbing / i am sick of crawling on hand and knees and scraping myself along the ground / i am sick of self-help skills and persistence and patience / i am sick of pushing myself and burning out and thrashing about hopelessly / i am sick of being a goldfish in a hot pan / i am sick of reinventing myself every season / i am sick of this feeling / i would claw this out of me if you gave me a sharp enough object / i am sick of feeling unsafe around sharp objects / i am sick of never finding an object sharp enough

i wish you knew the answer and could tell me and pour it down my throat until i gagged on it / i made my therapist cry when i said i had a lacking in me / i told her that a train could drive through the spaces i put into myself / the lacking is what does it, not the wanting, the lack, the dullness / barely-breathing with my teeth clacking in the cold water / it's the same fucking bridge it's the same dream and the same stupid kid / i wish sometimes i had drowned in that pool / i wish i had been different, not even that it was easier but just that i had enough strength to endure it / i wish it went away / i wish i had one good fucking reason

[creekfiend]

do it scared. do it vaguely uncomfortable. do it mysteriously damp

[creekfiend]

this one seems to have been popular among deckhands

[bloodybellycomb]

Bro, my unyielding loyalty towards you is totally normal and healthy, I swear. It's just that it's definitely my duty to rip out your enemies throats with my bare teeth. You are the love of my life and I am your most valuable tool. Each night, I fantasize about dying in your arms, covered in blood, and then I close my eyes one final time, satisfied because I can feel your fingers on my face as I take my last breath. Haha anyways

[thexfiles]

being a student right now is so fucking terrible is anyone coping

[thexfiles]

like what the fuck is a deadline when 1 million people have died

[whatt-to-do]

bro shutup im trying to remember what i just said

[inkskinned]

sometimes u just have to stand over the sink and eat fruit that is perfectly ripe and know that each person is a world you cannot ever know the depth of and that each fruit and each life deserves a moment of quiet 

[inkskinned]

fell in love today because of the way he blinked while seeing someone he missed. fell in love today because of how you cut your eyes to me when you’ve told a joke in a crowed room, looking to see if i laugh, too. fell in love today because she was talking on the phone and said hang on, mom, there are roses here, let me take a picture of them and send them to you. 

lovely is not how you look, it’s something you do. he makes room for her in the circle without her asking him to. she gives me her raincoat even if it means she gets soaked. we walk home together after a long night and you wait to make sure i get safely inside.

i will never be tired of this. i will never be done writing poetry about it. i am so enamored with humanity’s softness.

[inkskinned]

you couldn’t categorize it, when you were younger. you didn’t get hit, after all. just ate the words that spilled over the floor until it made you sick. your teachers all said your writing was “particularly dark” but nothing concerning. you carefully clipped admissions of grief into jokes about how houses feel like splinters. you would walk around with your jaw clenched. what is it you ached for? your home was “safe enough”, wasn’t it? yelling never killed a person. you’d tell other people my parents are just strict. you’d hear over and over again what they sacrificed for you, make it worth it.

when you loved someone, how were you supposed to know any different? your friends and partners like your parents; twisting your words so you seem “too sensitive”. it is bad to have opinions, to want things. you give in because you don’t want the argument. you hear someone call your mental health “delicate.” you cry but there’s not really anything to cry about, isn’t that the heart of it. people tell you that there is much worse going on in the world, get over it. so what that you are alone and he never picks up the phone, that he’s flaky, that he only shows up when he wants something. so what that she keeps you awake threatening to hurt herself; your mother used to say you hurt me when you act like this. there is nothing beautiful here, but what do you have to complain about? there is no red flag. just an empty valley, and dirt, and your heart like a canon in your chest.

many years later, in adulthood, after therapy, you find yourself crying over a broken plate. you find yourself having a panic attack because you’re running fifteen minutes late. you find yourself confused when television shows have tender moments between parents and the kids that they raise - are they supposed to love each other? was it always supposed to be this way?

[thenitneverhastoend]

Subscribe to my only fans pls 👉🏻🥺👈🏻 (@mollou)

[whitepeopletwitter]

[tankaramo]

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

[anthonycrowleymoved]

shout out to my roommate from college who’s from bulgaria and the most Mom Friend ever to Mom Friend and when i explained the concept of a Mom Friend to her and bestowed her with that title would occasionally refer to herself as [heavy bulgarian accent voice] Friend Mom

[fullofbugs84uy894ujui9]

reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

[stcmpass]

u hide ur pain with jokes 

[virellya]

and for every other child that comes into it.

[asszawas]

Straight outta t h a n g s

[rylandgraces]

You can try to hang on to your humanity, but the more you realize you have to protect the ones you love, the harder it gets.