I'm (Not) Afraid

Roxanne Montegue // Age: 20 // Side: Janus // Metamorphmagus // Potions Mistress in Training var sc_project=11182504; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="93d13674"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[rogersx-blog]

December 28th, 1981 The streets of London

The cold wind was blowing, his nose turning red despite his best efforts to stay warm. It didn’t matter, however, since soon he would find himself in the comfort that the Leaky Cauldron had to offer.- After a long day treating young kids from colds, all Benjy wanted to do was relax for a while, maybe even allow himself to drink something, take a break from the stress or at least try to do so.

He walked faster as snowflakes started falling from the sky, ready to cover everything in a fresh white sheet of cold snow. It was in his attempt to reach the warmth of the pub that Benjy crashed against someone, slipped on the icy path and fell down, spraining his wrist.

“Mierda…” He mumbled to himself, looking at his wounded hand before he looked at the person he had crashed against. “I’m so very sorry. Should’ve been looking where I was going.” He took out his wand and with a swift flick, he fixed his wrist and a small smile appeared on his lips. “There,good as new. You didn’t get injured, did you?”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

Fuck.

Roxanne was having literally no luck this winter, especially with how icy it was. Her head was kept down to shield herself from the wind as much as possible, the chill from it making her cheeks hurt and eyes water. Frankly, she just wanted to get home, put her presents away, and relax under the blankets with some hot chocolate. That sounded nice.

Then she bumped into someone, slipped, and found her presents scattered along the London streets. So yes, fuck.

She rubbed her head and slowly sat up, moving around on her knees to gather her dropped packages before standing and facing the man she had ran into. The sprained wrist he had was taken care of it seemed, but it still made her wince. “Merlin, I’m sorry too. Guess we both could have been looking.” She shook her head at his question and rubbed her head. “Nothing that can’t be taken care of. You’re alright?”

[severssnpe-blog]

Boy did he know that she had a penchant for asking stupid questions. Severus had all but lost count of the stupid questions he had had to answer in the labs over the last few years. “Well, Roxanne, ‘like shit’ would be putting it mildly." His throat felt raw and the words he had spoken clattered painfully in his ears. How long would it take for the serum to wear off? He tried to remember what he had read about it in books but the only images in his mind were snippets of the nightmare, pushing out any other thoughts he had.

He drifted in and out of the replaying nightmare, feeling more and more vulnerable with each moment that flew by. All Severus wanted to do in that moment was to apparate home but he knew that he would splinch himself if he attempted to do so in his current state. The soft clink of mugs brought him back to the pub, his mind fighting to occlude the nightmarish visions.

She had remembered. He reached out, pulling one of the mugs towards himself, the scent of the drink filling his senses and driving away some of the chill.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

She smiled a bit, glad to have done something right, and brought her own mug to her lips, letting the heat from the drink warm her face as she took a sip. There wasn’t much she could do, not really. All they could do was wait for the serum to wear off, and that could take hours yet. Roxanne closed her eyes and sighed softly, opening them again to glance around the pub (were those children she saw?) and see the people chattering quietly around them. It wasn’t as noisy as it could have been, but they still gave out a dull background sound to sooth her thoughts.

She wasn’t sure whether Severus felt the same way.

She quietly debated with herself for another few moments before turning her head to look at her friend again. This could be yet another stupid question, but she had to ask. The worst that could happen was him snapping at her, as usual. 

“Hey...did you want to talk about it?” Roxanne bit her lip. “Or if not now, just...whenever. I’ll listen if you want me to. Just so you know.”

[unmillierdevies]

It seemed selfish to tell Roxy who she truly felt when her friend had lost her brother and she was having just a really bad time, and Emmeline didn’t want to upset her any more. If someone deserved some peace and happiness, that one was Roxy. So she smiled like nothing was wrong, hoping it would help her case. “I’m good. A bit tired, I guess, but that’s just because I decided to stay up all night baking cupcakes. Don’t worry.”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

She still seemed hesitant about believing her, but Roxanne decided to drop it after all, sitting down at the kitchen table instead and smiling up at her friend. “Whatever you say. Just know you can talk to me if you need to, Em. We all need to let things off our chests eventually.” She knew that better than anyone. “Anyway, what else have you been up to? Besides the baking marathon you had.” She chuckled.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

You're one of the most creative people I know! Hope you're having a great day <3 - SS

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! You have a great day too, Secret Santa! :)

[rossdoesnot-deactivated20181203]

[queenprattwrites-deactivated202]

03/100 OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE: VIOLA DAVIS “Thank you…for thinking that a sexualized, messy, mysterious woman, could be a 49-year-old dark-skinned African-American woman who looks like me.”

[lilevxns-deactivated20160801]

Lily nodded. The idea of caffeine coursing through her system made things seem a little more bearable. The only problem was actually getting up to make it.

It took several attempts for her to get out of bed - and even when she did she found herself clinging to the wall for support - but eventually, she managed to make it out of her room and into the kitchen without serious injury. A few minutes later, she returned with two mugs of steaming hot coffee and a bottle of aspirin.

“I know both of us know more than enough potions to cure us of this hangover, but I’m not likely to start brewing one with a headache like this. Muggle remedies it is, for now.”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

She took the moments that Lily was away to make her way out of bed as well, yawning widely and stumbling toward the bathroom to freshen up at least somewhat. Her breath probably reeked, and she looked a right wreck as it was, so she tamed her hair as much as she could and rinsed her mouth out a few times before heading back to the bed and promptly collapsing.

Her head pounded.

Roxanne only sat up when Lily returned, arms reaching out much like a zombie’s would to grasp at the coffee and aspirin offered. The pills were down in an instant and she sipped the coffee, eyes closing. “Better than nothing. I’m not opposed to Muggle remedies when I feel like this.”

[goodnightgideon-blog]

The truth was that Gideon hadn’t actually intended to dump Roxy into the fountain (in the same way he’d never intended to dump those Hufflepuffs into the lake during the great Hogwarts Snow War of 1965, it had just happened) but the additional weight  that suddenly dropped onto his shoulders caused him to stumble in surprise, whacking his shin into the stone lip that surrounded the fountain.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion; the slip of ice beneath his feet, the yelling and the loud splash of ice-cold water as he tumbled down after Roxy’s new shape who was only slightly smaller than he was. All he could register at first was the cold, even worse than the snow that had been melting into his skin all afternoon, and the surprised gasp swiftly turned into booming laughter as he floundered uselessly in two feet of water.

He paused, sweeping wet hair back out of his eyes before turning his head to eye the man (formerly known as Roxy) in amusement and announcing through chattering teeth, “I still win.”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

Her plan may have backfired slightly, and instead of avoiding the plunge into the icy cold water below, Roxanne was tumbling with Gideon, though she managed to avoid being completely submerged. Her lower half suffered the cold, and she yelped, switching back to her normal self and quickly grasping at the edge of the fountain to haul herself out.

That proved to be worse, in her opinion, as winter air hit her wet lower half, making her shake. She put herself back into the water and only relaxed slightly, jaw still chattering as she looked toward the completely soaked Gideon. The sight was honestly hilarious, and despite both their situations (and the increased possibility for pneumonia), she laughed along with him. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll believe that when pigs fly.”

[severssnpe-blog]

How are you feeling?

Severus would have laughed at her inane question if his lungs weren’t screaming in his chest. With each breath he took, with each beat of his heart, the serum was working it’s way through his body, tainting everything it came into contact with. He raised a shaking hand to rake through his hair, pushing it away from his face. How was he feeling? Like a herd of hippogriffs had trampled over him? Like he had been subjected to a week under the cruciatus cursed? Severus couldn’t find words adequate enough to even begin to describe how the serum had made him feel. Hell, even the Pepper-Up potion was off little use. It took an edge off, sure, but it made the jitters increase tenfold.

“You tell me, Roxanne. How am I feeling?” The barb lacked its usual sharpness, the words seemingly dissipating into the musty air between them. He had been arrested, caught in the crossfire of the nightmare serum and was presently without his wand. That was something he’d have to talk to Amelia about, see if she’d be able to smuggle his wand out of the department.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

She winced at his clipped words, watching Severus a bit sadly, feeling helpless. She supposed that was a stupid question. If his shaking hands and silence hadn’t given it away from the start, then Roxanne would have considered herself an idiot. Who could go through their worst nightmare and feel fine? She should know that better than anyone.

“Like shit, I bet,” she said quietly, watching him and sighing softly. “I suppose that was a stupid question. I tend to ask stupid questions, though.”

Roxanne let silence wash over them for another few minutes, thinking. Severus wasn’t exactly an open person; it was hard to figure out how to help the man when he showed so little of himself to the people around him. Still, she got up anyway, heading to the bar and coming back a few moments later with mugs of hot cocoa. It wasn’t much, but she remembered him saying he liked it a while back, when the two had gone out for some drinks. Better than tea, and alcohol free.

“Here. Maybe this’ll help a bit.” She handed the mug over and hoped for the best.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

Is it your fault that your brother died?

“No. It wasn’t.”

“If I had moved a little faster, if I had noticed the man a second sooner, maybe I could have saved him. It is my fault, isn’t it? God...”

[askboxmemethings]

It's TMI Tuesday! Ask my muse anything and they'll have to answer truthfully.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

So, why'd you kill your brother again? Was he the favourite child?

“For the last fucking time, I did not kill Zeke. Get away from me.”

[severssnpe-blog]

the three broomsticks, hogsmeade 1st january 1982 3:50am

Severus sat half-slumped at a table, an empty vial of Pepper-Up potion in his still shaking hands. He wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night, nor did he plan on getting any until the serum’s effects worked off. He refused to subject himself to another one of the nightmares, to his face after all these years. A shiver ran down his spine at the recollection of the nightmare. Thank Merlin that it was the weekend and Ponter didn’t need him at the lab. All Severus had to do was wait for his strength to return so that he could head home. His head snapped up when someone sat down in the chair opposite, his eyes slow to focus on their face.

“What do you want?”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

She hadn’t been affected, but Roxanne had gotten off lucky. 

The serum had done its work, most definitely, and the members of Janus had gotten out of the Ministry relatively quickly, but she had seen some of them inhale the gas before bubbles had protected them from the most of it. Others still had been captured and, unfortunately, inhaled the most, leaving them to relive their worst nightmares. And now, gathered at the Three Broomsticks, she could see some of the effects wearing off people, though they still left their marks. She considered heading home and getting a well-needed sleep when she saw Severus at a table, hands shaking and in general looking awful. It was this that made her pause, and Roxanne walked slowly over to him, pulling the chair back and slowly sitting down.

What do you want?

Like she expected anything else. He no doubt wanted to be left alone, but Roxanne decided otherwise, chewing her bottom lip and considering her words. “How are you feeling?” she asked quietly, eyes wide in concern and searching his face. Asking something like Are you alright? seemed like the opposite of helpful and would likely lead to Severus snapping at her, because wasn’t it obvious? He wasn’t.

If only they could have put bubbles around their members before they dropped the serum on everyone, spared who they could have from nightmares. It was too late now, though. Time to accept the consequences.

[severssnpe-blog]

Severus rolled his eyes at her, buttoning up his coat. “You are prone to ask prying questions, as was proved when you accosted me earlier.” He gave her a pointed look and took a few steps away from the table. “You’re far more bearable when you aren’t forcing other to plays twenty questions with you.”

“Good.” He nodded at her, turning towards the direction of the door. “I’ll see you at work.” He paused for a moment before leaving the coffee shop.

[lilevxns-deactivated20160801]

THE G R Y F F I N G I R L S 

“Montegue knows every poison known to man - you can die three days after having cocktails with her and no one will suspect a thing. Evans is a trained doctor. Knows exactly how to hurt you without leaving any marks. McKinnon is the weapons woman; she can kill you in a thousand different ways, each as painful as the next. Weasley is the head of the city’s biggest drug cartel, with over a hundred and fifty people working under her, and she does it all while making stew for her children. MacDonald is an expert at extracting information; the perfect spy. And Longbottom? She’s ruthless. Completely lethal in every way.”

             “But they’re just girls.”

“Don’t let them hear you say that. They’re possibly the most dangerous group in the city. Lionesses, all of them. After all, a woman is only helpless while her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.”

( @lovingxmother @theconstellationsinhereyes @porcelaindagger @thenotsogryffindor @lionheartmarlene )

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH...

“You know how tough it is out there? Try surviving a night without knowing how to fight. Time to man up, ladies and gents. It’s a cruel world out there.”

( @severssnpe and @floralxconfusion )

[goodnightgideon-blog]

Roxy may have reached a decibel that only dogs could hear with that one, but Gideon seemed largely unphased if you didn’t count the occasional grimace when swinging feet managed to hit home. But snowball fights were serious business and the fountain waited for no man (or aggravated loser for that matter), so he merely continued on his path, snickering to himself as he replied, “You don’t mean that. Look at the bright side, it may have already iced ov—”

He paused, looming over the surface to admire the trickle of the water feature cheerfully (and leaning a little too precariously over the edge of the fountain to peer down at his own reflection amidst the snow melting into the water’s surface), “—Apparently not. Any final words? A surrender, maybe?”

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

No, she didn’t mean it, but that was most days. Today, however, was not most days, and Roxanne decided right then and there that she was allowed to hate Gideon until she finally suffered her fate and managed to dry herself off at home (while hopefully escaping hypothermia in the process). Still, that didn’t mean she would say any of that, and up until they reached the unfrozen fountain, Roxanne continued to kick and struggle, only stopping when the two leaned a bit too far over the fountain, her grip on the other turning vice-like.

“I’m taking you down with me,” is all Roxanne said, keeping a hold on him as tight as possible, assuring herself somewhat that if she was tossed, she’d be dragging Gideon into the icy water with her. 

Or she could use her damn talent for one, try to throw him off guard. Roxanne squeezed her eyes shut, and a moment later instead of a short woman, a large man on Gideon’s shoulders, hoping that the shock would make him let go, if not the sudden weight and size change.

Thank god her father was larger than her by far.

[severssnpe-blog]

Severus nodded, downing the dregs of hot chocolate that remained in the mug. He fished around in his pocket, removing a small handful of coins that should hopefully cover the cost of his drink. He dropped them down on to the tabletop, counting them with his finger.

“This wasn’t as bad as it could have been.” He spoke, standing up from the chair and putting his coat back on. It definitely could have been worse - despite her questioning, it had been the least stressful part of his day by far.

[thenotsogryffindor-blog]

Roxanne couldn’t help but smirk at his comment, looking over at her friend (though using the term with Severus still seemed odd; with him, she was never exactly sure) and raising an eyebrow. “You expected it to go horribly wrong?” she asked, feigning hurt. “I know you don’t necessarily like me, Severus, but damn.”

Still, she chuckled and pulled her coat on, exhaustion suddenly washing over her. It had been a long day; most likely, she’d be hibernating the moment she got home. “I’m glad you had a bearable time, in any case. I enjoyed myself.”