𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐑 ; 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓇𝓎 ›› 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 .
lucie’s chin lifted , a faint hum distant on her lips . it was well past time for them to leave the library . trouble was exactly the kind of thing she was trying to avoid by tucking herself away in a room she was almost certain her mother couldn’t even locate . but if she DID . . . lucie hardly had to use her imagination to picture the fury that would freeze over icy blue eyes . she’d seen it plenty of times before ; camille would grow rigid , a startling calm making her go still as she stiffly suggested he left and dared not so much as look back . when he was out of hearing range , she would rupture , and THEO wouldn’t be the reason . she was certain her mother would find a way to make it lucie’s fault , despite the very truthful reality of a boy finding her alone in her own library and being brash enough to interrupt . anyone else in her family might’ve understood . estelle might’ve chased him out with the letter opener she’d alluded to and finn might’ve bristled at every edge , but they would understand . but her mother ? no . never . and her father ? well , he didn’t seem to make it far from his office these days anyway . so with her list folded neatly in her hand and all sharp objects abandoned in the desk , she moved towards the door . she hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until he stepped into the hallway after her , and she exhaled . it had been four years since she’d wandered around kavanagh manor , but nothing had truly changed . the hardwood floors still ran cold under her bare feet on early mornings such as this one , and the ornate runners rolled out for guests were tucked away in storage somewhere .paintings lined the hallways , golden frames on deep green walls . some newer than others , but most hung there even when she was a girl . oil paintings that were bought or commissioned –– or , as max once tried to convince her –– stolen , right off of the walls at the louvre . now , older , she knew her father was a lot of things . . . but an art thief wasn’t one of them . the high he’d get from outbidding those who once looked down at him was too tempting . no , he’d launder the money to buy the painting LEGALLY . lucie wondered if that’s how he wound up with her favorite : an oil on canvas , a girl made of bold strokes and pastel colors , soft around the edges and donning a tutu , bowed with a pointed toe in a graceful curtsy . she loved it so much , james had it moved from the main hall upstairs to the bedroom he kept empty for her . . . and that was how she ended up with an original degas hanging next to her bookshelf . when she was small , she’d look at it before she fell asleep , and she’d dream of ballerinas bathed in moonlight . lately , though , she felt her stomach turn at the sight of it , and she wondered which kavanagh fighter or stable hand or ‘ soldier ’ spit up blood to pay for it . she would’ve prefered it , maybe , if it HAD been stolen . but , no . . . no , wealth was not as desirable to henry kavanagh if he couldn’t show it off . . . if he couldn’t host his new , wealthy friends for a few nights just to show off how expensive his taste was . at least kavanagh manor had james’s touch interwoven throughout ; not a single atrocious bust in sight for fear of one of the kids or hounds knocking it over . lucie’s gaze flickered over each frame until she heard something she didn’t particularly like , and her gaze snapped over to him . moments later , his did the same , and she was met with a startling flash of blue . her heart pounded once , twice , three times in her chest before she folded , eyes flickering forward once more . her jaw clenched at his question , which she assumed was rhetorical . though sometimes it felt like she was a kavanagh by name alone ; the only piece of the puzzle that didn’t quite fit where it was meant to . maybe her edges were too small or too curved . she looked like she belonged , golden hair and brown eyes inherited from henry himself , but when she tried to slide into place , there was always just a little space left between her and the edges she was meant to meet . shove her in hard enough , stretch her out far enough . . . and maybe , just maybe , she’d fit like she was meant to . but her mother had been trying to do exactly that for twenty - one years , and it had yet to work . “ i’m not naive enough to think i don’t benefit from the kavanagh name , ” she began softly , trying to find the right words without stumbling under the weight of his piercing gaze , “ but i’m also not naive enough to think that if i were to walk into a room full of kavanagh men , any of them would respect me or listen to me the way they do my father or jamie . . . ” or any of her siblings for that matter . “ it’s not the same , ” she tacked on quietly , stopping any further explanation . she wouldn’t want it to be the same . . . because she knew that respect and attention was often bred out of necessity or , more likely , fear . but the only thing more important than power in the kavanagh family was LOYALTY ; they were a united front . . . to anyone else . she’d already said too much , and she knew where the line was .
though it seemed HE didn’t . lucie glanced sideways only to look away twice as fast when she was met with the beginnings of a smirk she’d already seen enough of . talk of closed doors and proper men –– or , in his case , IMPROPER men . heat rose to her cheeks faster than she would’ve liked , and she wasn’t sure if it was the suggestion or the memory . at some point during the summer , camille had caught wind of the way things were going for her youngest children in killadavan . max was seeing a girl from a wealthy , but still less - than , family in town , and lucie –– . . . lucie had come home in the dark hours of the morning after staying out with a stable boy . she could still hear her mother’s shrill voice sharp before sunrise , going on and on about how reckless and unrefined and down right atrocious it was . . . to be wasting her time on someone so beneath her . it was an embarrassment . lucie’s lips parted , jaw working as she remembered it ; she was just a kid . they both were . inhaling , she looked back at theo , not a trace of surprise on her features . “ see , not even HALF the respect , ” she noted , as though he’d just proved her own statement , “ would you be so bold as to talk of nights behind closed doors with my brother ? my father ? ” there was a small quirk of her eyebrow , and despite the brevity of summoned courage , her cheeks still burned a vibrant red . . . and she could only look at him for so long before she once again turned forward . “ proper men , ” she said more to herself than anything , shaking her head , “ what an absolutely ridiculous notion . ” and though she was glad to be rid of that conversation , it seemed the natural shift of her own curiosity was going down a route that was hardly any easier . maybe she was a masochist –– maybe she needed to know from people who wouldn’t sugar coat anything , exactly what it was like to work for her family . he was eight when it all began , when he first stepped into the kavanagh world . ‘ only ’ working anywhere operated by her family was a slippery slope ; even SHE knew that by now . hearing it , though , was like a punch to the gut . her youngest nephew , jack , would be eight next week . she might have let a small smile slip through the cracks at the notion of his veins also being tainted by the kavanagh name . . . but she was too caught up in her own mind , picturing a boy , just eight years old –– like jack –– starting his first job at the stables . theo was right , though , that WASN’T what she wanted to know . for the past several years , lucie had been playing catch up . she was slipping in and out of rooms , learning names and faces and jobs , watching with an observant eye from afar . it wasn’t that she was invisible ; it was that people chose NOT to see her . . . and as of late , she’d been using that to try and understand the inner workings of the kavanagh empire . she knew which members of parliament were half in her father’s pocket , and she knew their mistress’s names as well . she knew the name of every crooked police chief along every smuggling route the kavanagh’s operated –– or at least , she had them all catalogued in one of her books . she knew who her father’s favorite foot soldier was ; she knew who he liked to put his money on in london underground rings . . . and who he liked to see lose . now , she was learning jamie’s favorites –– . . . who he trusted , who he didn’t . bookies , smugglers , fighters , and soldiers . . . she thought it might be safe to assume theo was the latter , based on the way he referred to himself as one of the kavanagh men , and he’d been once since he was –– fifteen . lucie exhaled , like another fist had knocked the breath right out of her . fifteen . sam had been seventeen . KIDS , they were just kids . she knew her father’s chest was likely hollow , but jamie ? JAMIE . . . he had five kids of his own , the oldest boy barely thirteen . how could he look at a kid without seeing his own sons ? as they stepped into the foyer , theo followed it up with something even more devastating . he worked for her family because he had to . because his father died . for them . for . . . her . lucie swallowed , steps slowing to a stop in the open entrance of the manor . she looked at him with a gaze that wasn’t pitying , but sympathetic –– and guilty . he was right before ; she was a kavanagh . people died for her family . they died BECAUSE OF her family . “ theo , i –– ” she started , then stopped . what the hell was SHE going to say ? fourteen years after the fact to a boy she’d just met . she could tell him it wasn’t right , but she was certain he knew exactly that . she could ask him why he would follow in the footsteps that got his father killed , but she was sure she knew that answer too . necessity . fear , maybe . both . “ i know it’s probably not worth much by now , and maybe it’s the last thing that you want to hear , but –– i AM sorry . losing your father so young . . . losing him at all , ” she shook her head . and she was . sorry . because no matter how she FELT about her piece of the kavanagh puzzle , she was still a part of it . what was worse was that fourteen years later , theo was still working for her family when the least henry could’ve done was send a monthly payment to his family to take care of the people theo’s father left behind . “ it’s , um , ” her brows furrowed as she tilted her head slightly , thinking to herself for a moment . she’d known death . quite intimately , even . but not like theo had , “ there aren’t really any RIGHT words to say when it comes to death , but for what it’s worth–– ” and maybe it was worth nothing at all , “ i am . . . sorry . ”
naivety didn’t much have anything to do with it . at least not USUALLY . not when it was the voice of a kavanagh that weaved their words & spoke of PRIVILEGE . every kavanagh knew the privilege their last name gave them . & he would be willing to bet even his LIFE on them using that to their advantage in almost all aspects of the life they made for themselves . the youngest kavanagh boy , maxime , undoubtedly used it to rig the horse races he rode in . who was REALLY going to want to beat the son of the man that could steal a horse right out from under you with a single word ? & theo imagined there was no way estelle kavanagh could have gotten HALF of where she was today ; a political radical that went against society norms like it was the norm , if her father wasn’t there to soften the edges for her by uttering sweet words — no doubt making light of his daughter’s actions & beliefs ; she’s a women with ideas & nothing more , there is no harm . nothing will ever come of it — straight into the ears of the politicians that HATED women like her . or ladening the pockets of the cops , that would have arrested her & thrown away the key if it had been someone like his own sister , with heavy coins . but when LUCIE spoke of benefitting — that she understood that there was privilege attached to her last name — there was a quality in her voice that made it sound different . as if MAYBE she understood what that benefit , that PRIVILEGE , meant when it was compared to someone like HIM . at least . . . theo conway the kavanagh soldier . the theo conway who was just a body amongst many . the theo conway who could be replaced as easily as one of the thoroughbreds he looked after in their stables . someone whose name held no weight unless it was attached to the privilege that came with the kavanagh’s . theo conway , second in command of the reapers , however . . . it was the FIRST time he’d mattered . it was the first time he’d gotten a taste of what it was like to get even a morsel of a taste of what it was like to be henry or james kavanagh . when people saw his blue eyes glinting as sharply as the tip of his knife , twisting fluidly & tauntingly in his hand , above the black fabric that covered the rest of his features , it wasn’t the kavanagh name that made them cower . it was the reapers . it was HIM . it was truly no surprise why henry had FINALLY returned to killadavan . that kind of power was intoxicating . it turned even the most kind-mannered men into wolves . because once they’d had a taste , NOTHING would ever be able to quench their thirst . & henry kavanagh had been drinking straight from the source since before theo had even been born . there was nothing , theo imagined , that henry wouldn’t do to get back the grip that he’d been slowly but surely losing on killadavan over the past years . & it was THAT theo conway , second in command of the reapers , that shifted within him to smother the growing curiosity about the soft quality of lucie’s voice that made him think that , even with her naivety , she knew that the benefits the kavanagh’s reaped from the world — just because they were a kavanagh — weren’t RIGHT . & turned towards an angle that fitted right into place of the notch he’d been working into the walls lucille kavanagh had up around herself . “ you might not be naive enough to think that . ” he started easily in agreement as his gaze flittered over to her once more , steady & unwavering , but there was a hanging BUT attached to the last of his words & he paused for a breath before he uttered it , “ but you ARE naive when it comes to believing their way is the only way to get a room full of kavanagh men , or a room full of ANYONE , to respect or listen to you . ” a coaxing brow rose upwards as his lips pressed together . there WAS after all many ways in which to command attention . & lucie possessed the greatest of them all . a pretty face could bring even the strongest man to their knees if its owner knew how to use it to their advantage . “ you’ve just got to figure out what your way is . ” his arctic eyes lingered upon her for only a beat longer before they drifted from her . settling once more upon the archway that opened up the hallway into the foyer he’d slipped from soundlessly & unnoticed before . “ you might surprise yourself with what you’re capable of when given the chance . ” & though he’d spoken those words in hopes it would capture her . make her believe that he saw that there was MORE to her than what anyone had ever seen in her before . he also hoped that there was SOME truth to it . if this plan was going to work , she NEEDED to be capable of more than she thought she was now . though for now , he couldn’t push too far . he only needed to plant a seed . & if he played his cards right , which he always did , he would succeed . it was why he let a grin carve across his lips as he looked back at her , noting the BRIGHT crimson that stained her cheeks , as he caught her gaze shifting to settle upon him out of the corner of his eye , “ i would give you the answer to that question but i imagine it would only make your cheeks burn an even brighter shade of red . ” the curve of his lips lingered upon his lips even as she turned her focus away from him . an action in itself that caused a quiet low tone of laughter to rumble from his chest . “ because it IS an absolutely ridiculous notion , ” the working harsh lit of his voice smoothed out into something more in line with the idea of what a proper man was as he stole her words to use as his own . but as he continued with his own , his voice shifted back to its rugged form , “ there is NOTHING proper about the talk that happens when men , including your brother & father , are allowed to talk without worrying about being overheard . ”
he was certain that BOTH his mother & sister would rightfully clip him around both ears for uttering such words he’d dared to speak to her . because though he WOULD have talked about such things with the likes of lucie’s brother at least . james seemed to have always liked to PRETEND he was on the same level as all the men that worked for him . believing they were comrades instead of the pieces upon a chessboard . theo wouldn’t have DARED utter a word of nights spent behind closed doors in front of his mother or sister . both because he imagined neither wanted to know & because he knew that sort of talk was FAR from the way they’d both bought him up to behave . it was innocent enough ; just enough to cause that flushed red to blossom upon her cheeks & nothing more , & he uttered not a single word more . but it WAS bold to dare to speak it to a girl such as lucille kavanagh . she WAS a kavanagh after all & before now , she hadn’t known he’d even existed . but that was perhaps why he’d said it in the first place . testing boundaries . seeing what made her tick & what made her smile & blush & anything in-between . it was the only way he was going to figure out just how he was going to get her to FALL for him . that & allowing her to know HIM . that was going to be the HARDEST part of all ; opening up to a kavanagh . letting them into the only parts of his life they hadn’t been able to drench in sickly red blood . if there were even such parts that existed . their fingerprints seemed to be EVERYWHERE he looked . but he’d spent his whole life swallowing down the acidic taste that sharpened his view of the world . walking beside her telling her about his history , & his father , as if a noxious storm wasn’t brewing in his chest was just another day in the world he lived in . but even HE couldn’t tame lightning . & it struck as they passed across the threshold of the archway that opened out into the grand entrance . he’d been expecting it . the sympathy . it had been what he was fishing for when he’d revealed his father’s death . make her believe he was a poor boy doing what needed to be done for his family after the death of his father & she would be like putty in his hands . girls like her seemed to LOVE tragic stories . but noting the way she fell out of his peripheral vision as she faltered & hearing her words falter not even seconds after she’d tried to speak . . . the lighting crackled across the blue of his eyes , darkening it . he didn’t DARE look in her direction . knowing FULL well that the sympathy , the pity , he’d find upon her rounded , quixotic features would crack his resolve right in two . instead , he kept moving . one , two , three paces away from her as his hands slipped from the pockets of his woollen pants . unwinding the tension in his body first with the flexing of his hands first before it rolled up to his shoulders , softening their edges , before it wiped his features free of the deadly storm that raged within his chest . he’d been fishing for it , but he didn’t WANT her sympathy . not really . not when it was hollow . not when it was HER father who had put his 6 feet below ground . the only comfort he could take in that moment was the notion that one day her father would end up 6 feet below ground as well . & HE’D be the one that put him there . the muscle flicked in his jaw as his eyes lifted up to the landing at the top of the grand staircase . how long had it been since he’d left the foyer earlier in search of lucie ? would he have still be standing down in this entrance , left to wait like a god damn schoolboy summoned by the teacher ? this was why james would NEVER be seen as an equal among the men . his hands shifted to fold atop one another behind his back as he finally turned to face lucie . his features a perfect rendition of a man that had grieved & let go . though there was a small shuttering , a slightly crease appearing in between sharp brows , as he studied her features . he could see sympathy plain as day . but there was no pity . no . . . no there was something else . something else he would have never guessed ; GUILT . it caught him for a rare moment of surprise . hands tightening around each other as they lay hidden behind his back . but within a few seconds , his lips parted & he spoke as if there had not been a single sign of it , “ it was a long time ago . he knew the risks . just as we ALL know the risks . it’s a part of the job . a part of our lives . believe it or not but being a kavanagh man isn’t the most DANGEROUS job we can do . ” & he knew that more than anyone . he was , after all , a wolf hiding in plain sight amongst the sheep . “ you have nothing to be sorry about — ” he paused for a brief moment , the tilt of his lips beginning to curve into a smirk once more as his eyes surveyed her & he spoke once more , “ you weren’t the one that killed him after all . ” the words rolled off his tongue smoothly , a jesting note attaching itself to his words , but he could feel them cut deep . his lips were poised to continue but a noise from above them tore his attention upwards towards a slamming door & heavy footsteps that grew louder to reveal their owner at the top of the grand staircase . so it seemed james kavanagh HADN’T been in his office . his jaw tightened . but a breath was inhaled as he looked back at lucie . it COULDN’T be a good look for either of them really . but with him standing three paces away from her with his hands still clasped behind his back , there was truly nothing for james to suspect . that was . . . unless LUCIE was to say something . he exhaled before his voice came once more , this time lowered for only her to hear as he leaned in ever so slightly , his eyes dropping to the floor in an act of false self-consciousness , “ this may be asking too much of someone i just met but if i could — ” he trailed off for a second as his eyes darted to the stairs , “ if i could ask that we keep WHERE we had our first meeting between just us two — ” his eyes lifted to hers then , a shade of quiet pleading colouring the blue hue of his eyes , “ i would be eternally grateful . i don’t believe your brother would be quite as understanding as YOU about me getting lost in search of him . ”