The One Where She Writes

🦋🌸

[theonewithsomethingblue]

I did not expect we’ll come to this. Wala pa ako doon pero I don’t like kung saan ako papunta and there’s nothing I can do but to accept and be at my peace.

Hang on, self. This will not be easy and I hope we’ll be alright. 😔

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Oh no, here we go again. I know something’s bothering me dahil hirap nanaman ako makatulog. It’s 1:25AM at gising pako!! Normally, 10:30 tulog n. 😭 idk what’s happening huhu

Ang hirap ng adulting talaga. Napakarami mong iniisip kahit ayaw mo na isipin.

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Happy 1st meowday, Reese! I love meow and furrever. 😻

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Our 3rd Anniversary💙

What more can I ask for? Charot. Syempre more anniversaries, goals, achievements & blessings to come to us! This day turned better than what we planned & expected. Thank you Lord for paving the way for us.

To my love, ang sarap gumawa ng mabuti kung ikaw ang kapalit ng lahat ng ‘yun. Ayiee. Hahahahahay irdk what I did before to deserve you. 🥹🫶🏻

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Kahit na siguro magmukha akong pulubi, tanggap ako nito. Hahaha. I'm happy that I'm not pressured to look that GOOD whenever we have to meet. Tho minsan nagsstrive talaga ako mag-ayos since minsan lang kami magkita pero it helps din na kahit mukha akong dugyot ay no judgment. Tanggap ako ng buo kahit hindi everyday or 24/7 mukhang fresh. Hahaha

After work hanash. Missing the days na rumaraket kami!

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Thank you for making my 26th birthday a little special, my love. 💙

Ahh, I was really feeling blue the entire day that day. It was the one of the worst breakdown I had in my life. I literally cried all day bec of frustrations, pressure, disappointments that kept coming that week.

Iyak nalang talaga nagawa ko. Haha. But my love came to the rescue. We're not able to celebrate the day together bec he is not feeling well but he came to surprise me with CAKES and a bouquet of flowers na for sure gawa ni Tita Josie. 🥰

Thank you my love. So lucky to have you.

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Snuggles. 🥰

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Our qt Reese wearing her kimono from Daiso Japan. 🇯🇵

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Thanks everyone for the reblogs & likes! 💖 our little siamese is having the best snooze of her life. Such an angel. 😻🥺

[surqrised]

“Compliment people. If you think a good thing about someone, there’s no harm in saying it aloud.”

— Unknown

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Our qt Reese wearing her kimono from Daiso Japan. 🇯🇵

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Manifesting that exchange program in Japan. 🙏🏻

If para sa akin talaga 'to Lord, send me a sign. I'll be busy for sure in the couple of months, if makapagprocess ako, ikaw nang bahala Lord. Swerte ko nalang talaga if maasikaso ko lahat.

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Ultimate prayers ko talaga na bigyan ako ni Lord ng strength, wisdom tsaka healthy mind & body talaga to continue everyday. I committed myself to a lot of rakets this semester para makabayad ng expenses namin.

I signed up for 1 Homeroom & 1 club advising with teaching unit overload plus 8 thesis advising. Just to make the ends meet for the next 5 months. 😭

Kinakabahan ako na baka magkasakit ulit ako or hindi ko kayanin. After namin magpositive last month, dun ko talaga narealize na anytime pwede kang magkasakit at wala ka talagang magagawa. Ayoko na ulit ng ganun. I'm really scared.

[theonewithsomethingblue]

So chikka ko lang dahil pag naaalala ko talaga naiinis ako ng super, parang gusto ko magsalita ng masasamang words hahahaha seryoso

So kanina, I saw this shared post about being a “breadwinner” and as in sobrang tamang tama sakin yung caption especially sa part na naiinsecure ako sa iba. I want to share it kaso naghesitate ako mga 5 times before I actually shared it with no caption. (Kabado ako it may flopped don't judge me lol)

It did not naman. But meron akong “friend” na nag-HAHA react dun sa shared post kong yun na nung una sabi ko “Okay. Bwisit ka talaga.” Kasi alam kong inaasar lang ako non so kiber pero nagbago lahat nung nag-HAHA react din yung pinsan ko..

I was like, “bakit? What's funny?”

Then dun ko lang narealize na, okay. These people think na how come na breadwinner ako eh maluho akong tao (sana true diba). Inisip ko kanina siguro yung impression nila sakin (based sa nakikita nila sa soc med posts ko) na hindi naman ako naghihirap at sunod sa luho (hay sana true ulit)

Gustong gusto kong ipagtanggol yung sarili ko sa part na yun. Gusto ko sabihin at ipamukha yung hirap na pagkasyahin yung sahod mo sa lahat ng expenses sa bahay at pag-aaral mo since hindi na nagwwork parents mo. Na inggit na inggit ako sa friends ko that they were able to invest in material things that I want to!

Na gusto ko na mag-invest ng sarili kong place na ever since goal ko talaga na kaya ko naman if hindi ko lang din sinusuportahan yung expenses sa bahay. :( ang dami kong sana at insecurities talaga kung yaman lang usapan. It's a struggle to keep your composure at sabihin sa sarili mo na okay lang 'yan. May plan si Lord for you. This is not forever kahit na hindi mo rin sure yung last statement. If you'll ever get out of this loophole.

So sa inyo na nag-invalidate ng feelings ko, fuck off! Lol. #sorrynotsorry. Ayaw mo nalang talaga magtalk. Kawawa naman kayo ganyan mindset niyo. Mga DDS at Marcos Apologist pa! Pwe. Wag na po kayo magreproduce kung ganyang values din iinstill niyo sa offsprings niyo. Hay sorry.

[oddfilmstills]

[distractful]

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Lord, praying for a weeknight class this semester. 🙏🏻

[theonewithsomethingblue]

Worst habit ko talaga yung always nasstuck yung utak ko sa past. Ewan ko, kasi ayokong ioverthink yung future kasi baka ma-jinx? Hahaha. Ewan. Hay. Ito, 2013-2014 'tong binabalikan ko and that's 7 years ago!! Grabe.

Binabalikan ko lang naman pero I know na ang daming oras sa buhay ko ang nasasayang dahil dito sa ginagawa ko. 😓

I badly want to see a therapist/psychiatrist soon. I want to understand!