hello.

It's me, erin.

[sheet-masks]

I think in the grand scheme of things we’re all just pieces of sourdough toast looking for our smashed avocado

[twitblr]

Toronto city councillor, Norm Kelly

[latinkilledtheromans]

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

[221cbakerstreet]

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it

[najaaozixxjsiaaiaiia]

This is the cutest thing ive ever seen

[frogsuggest]

friend of the day! meet handsom roundboy desert rain frog!

he lick!

he yell!

he round!

he grump!

he squish!

he run!

gone!

goodbye!!!!

[meangirlnurse]

when u send ur best friend terrible things from the internet

[dongstomper-deactivated20161230]

everybody who has ever been funny online is getting taken out by the fbi within the week

[hotvampireadjacent]

thank god all of us are safe then

[jennyhoelzer-deactivated2016120]

Life isn’t always candy ! Sometimes it’s a mouthful of sand! You just have to keep putting things in your mouth!!!

[disabilityhealth]

This sounds like it was written by my dog

[ruisi]

but how Great would it feel to be someone’s first choice

[misterqueasy-blog]

i can’t stand it when people complain about how expensive printer ink is, like it’s “”capitalism’s fault”“. do you have any idea how hard it is to milk a squid

[alienmeg-blog]

*signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

[cozi]

when i was 12 i got banned from yahoo answers and when i emailed support to be like “what did i do??” i got a really vague answer that just said “you know what you did” and it still haunts me to this day

[iraffiruse]

The potatoes have escaped

[itsagifnotagif]

These memes

[twitterlols]

[classicmeevs]

dirt

[petbud]

mmmm… tasty..

[classicmeevs]

the d in dirt stands for do not eat this please

[petbud]

but the i r t stands for it’s really tasty

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

my party trick is wearing cool socks so people come up to me and say “hey man cool socks”