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@theowlbard
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Regarding relationships of all sorts, please read:
I want to recap my entire past several years, and bring out the most important things that people need to know, especially males, in relationships of all sorts: Toxicity, Abuse, & Self-Accountability.Â
Whether youâre depressed, or anxious, or hurt or angry or whatever, it is something only YOURSELF can fix, you can definitely get the help to learn how to fix it, but for that to happen, only YOURSELF can point it out, and take the full responsibility and take the actions to fix it. Hurting others and leaving deep scars due to oneâs actions out of emotional thinking and not rational one, you can hurt them for as long as youâre existing.Â
And when youâre someone whoâs had physical/mental/emotional trauma, like many others whoâve gone through those types of relationships, donât wallow in it, donât shut yourself out. Please seek some form of recovery and help, and help pick yourself up. Donât let what someone has done to you, turn you into that a being.
With that said, I know Iâve received backlash from my friends, some family, and my ex. I deserved it all, not saying that to beat myself up, but to acknowledge that if many folks are saying what theyâre saying, itâs that moment one has to look indepth and thoroughly at what they need to fix. Yes, I have definitely said things because of my own traumas. Yes, I have definitely done extreme things because I felt like my history was repeating itself. Yes, I have gaslighted many times, whether I was aware or not because of frustration or uncertainty. But is that any excuse? NO.Â
There were many moments where I would harm myself, and sometimes, IN FRONT OF THEM because of my paranoia or insecurities or anxiety, but Iâve put them through such intense emotional distress. There were moments where Iâd spout angry accusations at my friends for backstabbing, or accusations at my ex for cheating or such, but they were all empty words built by my mindâs worries and made them feeling such dismay and hurt over my things that were just imagined or from just the past. Itâs understandable as some say, but in the end, itâs no excuse. There were a few moments where I put others in danger, because of my recklessness or own distress, rather than staying calm or being aware.Â
These are bullet points, people.
I have become that abuser, not physically, thankfully. But an abuser is an abuser.
I have become that toxicity, that I tried to run away from in previous relationships back then.Â
And even though sheâll not see this, I do want those who are in similar position and are reading this to know: if youâre on the receiving end, and the friend/partner/family you know is being toxic, if youâve done your share of trying to have them listen, dip. Just dip. You need to take care of yourself, and even if anger or frustration or anxiety is something that makes you want to do something to them, donât stoop that low. Donât fight fire with fire. Youâre better, youâre gonna get better and Iâm so proud of you all. You can choose to take them back into your life, but tread carefully.
And for those who are that toxic person, you need to evaluate yourself, listen to what others have said, that has harmed them or put them in a position where they feel inadequate or hurt. Take note, stop and think about at what youâre gonna say or already have said. If youâre toxic or abusive because you yourself has been through some of those traumas, seek some help, counseling, whatever. If you want to keep folks in your life, work on yourself. And if they ever walk out, let them. Itâs up to them to see if they want you back in their life; only they can truly judge if youâve wanted to change or have changed.Â
If your partner/friends/family know that youâre mentally ill and are doing your absolute best you can to change but are still being toxic, keep in mind: Youâre wanting to change for YOURSELF. âCause in the very root of it all, you have you and you wouldnât want to see yourself hurting others. And on the note of still being toxic in the process of change, donât use your mental illness as an excuse.
Again, itâs almost a new year, but even not in a new year but in current times, even as youâre reading this, take some self-awareness/accountability and evaluate yourselves.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Out for the evening graze.Â
You do NOT have to take responsibility for anyoneâs inability to manage their own trauma. Someoneâs trauma or mental illness is not an excuse for abuse or behavior. A diagnosis can explain behavior, but it does NOT excuse it. Someone being abused is not responsible for that situation, yes, but they are responsible for breaking the cycle.
That takes work, and the difference is who is willing to make the effort versus be absolved of responsibility.
You are allowed to feel the way you do, you donât have to constantly be in a state of forgiveness, healing is not linear, and for the sake of recovery, your experience is valid whether others agree or not.
Blue lakes at sunset đđŒ | mblockk
Setting sun
Link ~~~
tumblr is crazy bc white ppl will come on here and be like âa black person made fun of me when I was 10 which indirectly caused my body dysmorphic disorder and now 15 years later Iâm still triggered by brown people but Iâm not racist I swear. also if I get hate for this my anxiety will flare up and Iâll have a panic attack so please donâtâ
Regarding relationships of all sorts, please read:
I want to recap my entire past several years, and bring out the most important things that people need to know, especially males, in relationships of all sorts: Toxicity, Abuse, & Self-Accountability.Â
Whether youâre depressed, or anxious, or hurt or angry or whatever, it is something only YOURSELF can fix, you can definitely get the help to learn how to fix it, but for that to happen, only YOURSELF can point it out, and take the full responsibility and take the actions to fix it. Hurting others and leaving deep scars due to oneâs actions out of emotional thinking and not rational one, you can hurt them for as long as youâre existing.Â
And when youâre someone whoâs had physical/mental/emotional trauma, like many others whoâve gone through those types of relationships, donât wallow in it, donât shut yourself out. Please seek some form of recovery and help, and help pick yourself up. Donât let what someone has done to you, turn you into that a being.
With that said, I know Iâve received backlash from my friends, some family, and my ex. I deserved it all, not saying that to beat myself up, but to acknowledge that if many folks are saying what theyâre saying, itâs that moment one has to look indepth and thoroughly at what they need to fix. Yes, I have definitely said things because of my own traumas. Yes, I have definitely done extreme things because I felt like my history was repeating itself. Yes, I have gaslighted many times, whether I was aware or not because of frustration or uncertainty. But is that any excuse? NO.Â
There were many moments where I would harm myself, and sometimes, IN FRONT OF THEM because of my paranoia or insecurities or anxiety, but Iâve put them through such intense emotional distress. There were moments where Iâd spout angry accusations at my friends for backstabbing, or accusations at my ex for cheating or such, but they were all empty words built by my mindâs worries and made them feeling such dismay and hurt over my things that were just imagined or from just the past. Itâs understandable as some say, but in the end, itâs no excuse. There were a few moments where I put others in danger, because of my recklessness or own distress, rather than staying calm or being aware.Â
These are bullet points, people.
I have become that abuser, not physically, thankfully. But an abuser is an abuser.
I have become that toxicity, that I tried to run away from in previous relationships back then.Â
And even though sheâll not see this, I do want those who are in similar position and are reading this to know: if youâre on the receiving end, and the friend/partner/family you know is being toxic, if youâve done your share of trying to have them listen, dip. Just dip. You need to take care of yourself, and even if anger or frustration or anxiety is something that makes you want to do something to them, donât stoop that low. Donât fight fire with fire. Youâre better, youâre gonna get better and Iâm so proud of you all. You can choose to take them back into your life, but tread carefully.
And for those who are that toxic person, you need to evaluate yourself, listen to what others have said, that has harmed them or put them in a position where they feel inadequate or hurt. Take note, stop and think about at what youâre gonna say or already have said. If youâre toxic or abusive because you yourself has been through some of those traumas, seek some help, counseling, whatever. If you want to keep folks in your life, work on yourself. And if they ever walk out, let them. Itâs up to them to see if they want you back in their life; only they can truly judge if youâve wanted to change or have changed.Â
If your partner/friends/family know that youâre mentally ill and are doing your absolute best you can to change but are still being toxic, keep in mind: Youâre wanting to change for YOURSELF. âCause in the very root of it all, you have you and you wouldnât want to see yourself hurting others. And on the note of still being toxic in the process of change, donât use your mental illness as an excuse.
Again, itâs almost a new year, but even not in a new year but in current times, even as youâre reading this, take some self-awareness/accountability and evaluate yourselves.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Day 27.
2021-04-27.
Character - Sinon.
Series - Sword Art Online.
Artist - Kishita Yuu
Jason Charles Hill