During: 114,9kg / 253lbs.
This isn’t a massive change like you sometimes see in the before-during photos, but that’s because I’m just at the beginning. I’ve been suffering from binge eating for almost a decade, and now I’ve been four months clean. I’ve lost 9,1kg during that time, without any magic diets, just eating regularly, normal foods. I’ve left salt off as much as possible, changing it to herbs and other seasonings, same with sugar, especially hidden sugar. I’ve never been eating fast food really, so I haven’t had problems with that, and I also never drank sodas or lemonades, so in that way the change was easy. My problem was just chips and chocolate, basically. That’s how I got myself to 127kg at the beginning of December 2014. I could eat several mega bags of chips in a week, tons of chocolate and other treats in between, not really eating proper food, often skipping meals etc.
Last Christmas I thought I have to stop, and I did lose about 3kg from December to February, but I was still binging and wasn’t really eating healthy at all. Then at the end of February something hit me and I realized I can’t live like this. I don’t know what happened exactly, but I just stopped eating crap. I didn’t eat chips in few months, and changed the amounts of chocolate to minimum, just randomly here and there. I have been working out a bit at home, but I’ve been sick for the past month and haven’t been able to do much. Yet I’ve lost several kgs in this month, too. It’s just because of how I eat. I am more active in daily basis too, I leave my car further away at the parking lot of the grocery store, and try to walk more than before.
I’ve had medication for depression since last November, and I’ve gotten so much more energy to do things since then. I used to think I wouldn’t want meds, that I’d have to survive on my own, but I was hitting the rock bottom in September and October last year, so I realized I have to do something, I can’t continue like this, and I need help to pick myself up. So I started psychotherapy, and the medication. I don’t think I could have been able to lose any weight without those two things, I would have probably easily crossed 130kg by now.. I’m so happy I didn’t. I still have a long, long way to go, but I can see and feel so many changes in my body already now, that it’s inspiring me to keep moving forward. If I fail, it’s not a disaster anymore, I don’t give up all together if I have a bad day, or even if I have a bad week. I’ve learnt to forgive myself. That’s one of the most important lessons I needed to learn before I could get this weight loss going. I’ve lost about 20kg few years ago, but because I was so unforgiving to myself back then, beating myself up from every fail, thinking “might as well eat everything bad now that I ate these chips”, and just taking it way too seriously, so then at some point I lost the inspiration and gained almost all of it back. While now I’ve realized I can’t be perfect. I will have bad days, I will fail, I will eat things I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t punish myself from that. I’m just a human. I’ll get back up and continue, after every time I fail.
I’m really confident I can do it this time. I have a completely different mindset and attitude towards this, and I know I’ll succeed. A little more stats, I’ve lost 12cm from my waist and chest, 7cm from my tummy, 11cm from my hips (below tummy), and about 4cm of each leg and arm. That’s a whole lot of centimeters in just four months. I’m proud of myself. It might not be that visible in photos yet, but my family is already pointing out how small my waist looks, and damn that feels good. So this time I’ll make it. I’ll beat this obesity and get myself to the “normal weight” category. It’s a long journey, but I’l get there with time.
