The Pawsitive Cat

Rad’s Journal

[thepawsitivecat]

When the Spotify radio plays songs with the exact same vibes as the one you loved >>>>

[thepawsitivecat]

What good is life if you have it all figured out ?

I like the uncertainty.

I’m aware that it could all go downhill any second,

But it also means that I can believe any wildest thing to be possible.

At this point in my life I have absolutely no idea what I’m gonna do after college - job or study further, who I’ll end up with, he could be a millionaire or an ordinary joe I marry for love, which city I will ultimately settle down in - which country for that matter, will I even practice my profession or turn to something entirely different. It’s all so obscure, so shrouded in uncertainty, I often feel as if I’m passively watching my own life pass right in front of my eyes - I’ve become a puppet to destiny. But like I said, it is oddly exciting. Life can actually, literally, take me ✨ anywhere ✨ from here.

[thepawsitivecat]

I will never understand why having a job or work or studying is taken as being trapped by the system. The system has evolved for a reason. Humans need work. You can only relax and travel and live slow for a while until your brains starts becoming desperate for a challenge, a purpose in life, an aim to walk towards. The brain needs to think all the time and without any preoccupation with work, our brain starts worrying about any tiny shred of inconvenience and multiplies it by overthinking until it has created a problem for itself, and solving which has now become its aim. You can’t live without working. I believe one can have a 9-5 job and a monthly income and that would in-fact be like using the system for survival., rather than being defeated by it. One’s best hope is thus to find a job that thrills you and gives you satisfaction, along with a steady income.

[thepawsitivecat]

It’s been an agonisingly long time since I have stumbled upon a song that I liked in the first listen, gave me a huge burst of dopamine, I listened to loop for days and the song breathed life into my soul, gave me a reason to live and I marvel with disbelief how the musician could have ever come up with a melody so divine, so exhilarating.

[thepawsitivecat]

Mainstream pop actually has some of the best music ever, guess that’s the reason it gets overplayed. Ever so often after I’ve listened to nothing but Indie bands, I come back to mainstream pop and they feel like a hug from an old familiar friend who will always be there to have your back when life seems to have nothing more exciting to offer.

[thepawsitivecat]

I have an insatiable urge of constantly creating something. I want to create beauty where it never existed before. I want to write fascinating tales, I want to create enthralling music. I want to make an aesthetic instagram page, I want to write to write soul touching poetry. I want to leave this world a more beautiful place than how I received it.

[thepawsitivecat]

It’s think it’s honestly so important to know your capabilities exactly, and how much you can exert yourself and for how often, and how long. How much sleep you need to function. What your attention span is. What is the maximum stress you can handle. It’s not always that we’ll fare well at life if we work hard all the time, or always keep pushing our limits. In my opinion we are most productive if we can selectively take up the tasks that are in accord with our own potential, without under or over estimating our own self. No one but we ourselves can know our limits best, and thus it is best to deeply introspect for all the above before taking up any task.

[thepawsitivecat]

Ask me my favourite view of nature,

And I’ll say

Lush green grass upon which I lay

Facing the fair sky,

And the view obscured somewhat

By the branches of trees

That form a canopy, 🍃

A thicket of twigs and leaves.

This is the vista I dearly want to experience, one that I’m fascinated by, even without ever having seen it in all its glory. The mental picture that I have painted it so vivid however, I’m convinced it is one of the most beautiful and calming sights one can ever encounter. To rest flat on your back on the green grass, that is just enough to form a blanket on the rough ground, but not grown enough to be ticklish. Then to have the eyes fixed up to the endless sky, with nebulous grey clouds in translucent sheets that spare the eyes of sun’s glare, yet allow the sunlight to streak through the dense canopy of trees as we feel it’s warmth on our face. It’s the kind of warmth we can comfortably feel with having to squint our eyes.

Even as we face the sky, what the eyes focus on is the canopy of trees that is all over us, myriad shades of green interrupted often by the brown twigs, on which the leaves rustle the to acknowledge the occasional breeze. The rustling of the leaves combined with the chirping of a variety of birds - some loud, some feeble, some shrill and some truly musical - create an orchestra that no instrument can replicate. It is one of the many sounds of nature, but one that is melodious in true sense and seems to resonate straight with our soul and draw it into the symphony. It can be enjoyed even better with eyes shut, as we inevitably slip into a peaceful siesta.

I could lay there for ages.

[thepawsitivecat]

Journaling prompt : put your playlist on shuffle and write something inspired by the first song that plays

“If I could be anybody,

I would be you”

From Hiccup (acoustic) : by Valley

The first time I heard this song, I listened to it for 3 days straight and wildly recommended it to all my friends too. There’s something very soothing about the melody, whether it is the indie pop original version or the acoustic version, my even more beloved. Right at the outset it guarantees to be a song with a very personal touch - with the lyrics “If I could be anybody, I would be you - maybe I’d understand the things that you do”, and it sticks to the promise. While it can pass of as an uptempo song owing to the energetic beats, yet on closer attention to the lyrics we realise that they are quite disconsolate. Perfect song to cry while dancing, one might say.

Coming to the verse in focus here, I think it makes perfect sense. We can never truly understand how exactly a person is feeling, unless we can face the exact situation, have the exact response to it, for which we should have had identical past experiences and we should be of very similar temperament. It is highly unlikely that two people should be so similar in all these respects. Thus the only way to fully sympathise with a person would be to become them.

Now it happens many times that we desire to relate to the those who we care about, and it is quite unsettling when we cannot find reason for their some of their actions, especially if we believe that we personally would have reacted differently in the same situation. At that time, all we want is to find validation for their actions or thoughts, more so to reduce our own uneasiness than to justify their actions. And we know, deep down, that a person can never fully express how they feel articulately. It is possible, that several emotions do not even yet have words assigned for them. If somebody should ask you in such a situation, who you would want to trade your lives with, I’m sure that the thought of the world’s richest, or happiest, or the most powerful person will not even cross our mind. For in that moment all we would want to be, is them, who we desperately yearn to understand.

[thepawsitivecat]

The world outside Internet

The world out there is not cozy, colourful and welcoming like this tumblr, it’s the exact opposite. It’s competitive, cruel, filled with strife and not made out for an easy survival. Wars, genocides, crusades seem to be as essential for human survival as oxygen. One can spend hours on social media in their own little bubble of comfort, oblivious to perils of the world outside and believing that life is always this pleasant and vibrant. Media entraps you such that in no time we forget that the purpose of coming here is mere escapism for a while and not getting drowned in the ecstasy such that we begin to disregard the world outside if it does not immediately concern us.

Ever so often, I feel euphoric when I scroll through Instagram or tumblr and think to myself how beautiful this online world is, where people seem more kind, considerate and accommodating than we ever see in real life. But that’s the point. This is not real life, this is merely the pleasantly warm water at the surface of the pool where we choose to float everyday. Should we choose to divulge in the real world more often, we might realize that it is actually like the chilling water that gets more and more cold the deeper we go. But there is no escaping that.

What I mean to say is perhaps, social media is a perfect escapism, but it does not do to dwell on fantasies, and forget the real world problems. If a war breaks out in our region tomorrow and internet shuts off suddenly, will it be war that kills us or the absence of internet that will do it first?

[thepawsitivecat]

Okay but what if every body had a life span of exact 50 years like you just simply vanish as soon as you turn 50 but till then you’re fine, do anything - would you find it comforting or scary?

[thepawsitivecat]

So many people keep on having so many ideas, yet only a few of them succeed in giving their ideas a beautiful shape to be seen by the world. It is only after we attempt to work on our own ideas that we realise how arduous that undertaking truly is. I will forever remain in awe of such people who believed in their ideas and were perseverent enough to bring them to life.

[thepawsitivecat]

Bring me hot cocoa, or perhaps if we dare, some wine, but I would not want to be unguarded in a place so far away from civilisation, with gigantic trees obscuring any view beyond a few steps. Where sunlight finds it hard to navigate through the thicket of trees, dusk is quick to arrive and every breath makes me aware of the omnipresent thick fog. It is not so much as a natural retreat as it is a presage for the spookiest and the most ominous things to happen.

[thepawsitivecat]

Nothing ever happens as planned

Life seldom goes as planned. More often than not it so happens that the final outcome of a situation, or even the events leading up to it are very much divergent from what we had initially hoped. Everyone of us has a tendency to play out any forthcoming event many times over in our mind, so much so that by the time the occasion has arrived we have already lived through several versions of it. Or at least, all those scenarios which our mind believes possible. However there always happens something or the other which we neither saw coming nor thought feasible.

This unprecedented incident might be an inconsequential happening not worthy of our notice. In such case it is prudent to believe that the occasion went according to design. However in retrospection we might realise that most of it was rather unexpected. Or even if the result was as we anticipated, the events leading up to it were not. Needless to say that sometimes a completely unforeseen turn of events catches us off guard, forcing us to modify our reaction and action that is truly spontaneous, for we could never have possibly foreseen any event of that nature.

This notion, that nothing happens according to plan, is applicable to all affairs of life, be it a small gathering with friends, or planning your career. And it is only rightfully so, because what would be the fun of life if we never had any surprises? If I could plan out my entire life in one day, and know that it would happen exactly so, what would remain the purpose of living if not to only make sure that all did eventually happen as I had drafted it ?

I believe that life is meant to be taken as it comes, greeting happiness with open arms and challenges with firm ones. One can never be too prepared at any point of time. It thus implies, that we shouldn’t be too disappointed if things don’t go according to plan, for they are never really meant to be so. We are far from being the God who writes our fate (and for atheists, you don’t believe in God either way so yes things are essentially going to be random) - we are mere humans who can only hope that certain events to go our way in the manner that we have desired. I suppose the only thing we can predict to some extent is how we personally will behave in the particular situation, but this too is subjected to a great deal of change as any event proceeds.

What I have realised as I have been thinking this, is this is exactly the beauty of life. Right at this moment there could be a hundred possibilities of what can happen at the next instant, each one stemming off to hundred others for the next one. Thus I should never set much store by my pre planned scheme of things and always be ready to expect, the unexpected. For life in its absolute form, can never truly be planned. It can only be lived as it slowly unfolds for us along the way.

[thepawsitivecat]

Comfort Zone Inertia

Ever since the lockdown has started, that will be about 2 years now, I have been living life at the utmost comfort possible. My college is online, I do not have any major career shaping exam coming up, my parents have ensured that we fell short of nothing even as people died of starvation for the lack of wages. And because of the virus of course.

There’s wifi at home, and Netflix in my ipad. I have a moderate amount of studies that I need to do everyday, but even if I don’t do it, it is very much inconsequential. All in all, this is perfect life - relaxed and unhurried.

However, it is now that I am beginning to realise that somewhere, all this luxury has doused the fire of creativity in me. Since I never needed to reinvent myself, never needed to face any deadlines, never needed to lose sleep over any new provocation , my brain has entered a state of inertia. I don’t feel like taking up new challenges or leaning any new skill. Simple things like writing two pages of an essay cause me great deal of mental vexation, when once I could do this without breaking a sweat.

It is thus that I have decided to consciously step out of this mental comfort zone and actively take up writing everyday. It scares me to think that I might somehow lose this innate ability of expressing my thoughts through the agency of words, should I take a breather any longer than what I already have.

I don’t know yet, what I will preferentially write about. But I will figure it out along the way. Until then I will just pen down whatever thoughts are swirling in my mind, in hope that as I continue doing so, they will become more structured.

You are very much welcome, and I hope you enjoy walking this journey with me, should you chance upon my path of which as of now, I don’t know the destination. But I am in no hurry to get there, it is the journey that I wish to relish.