When the team started teasing John again about his perpetual single status, even Ghost, the traitor, it came to a point where John had to mute it out, focus on the chilly October night and his cigar, and pray the shit motel room he rented just for himself will have thick enough walls to have a proper sleep, after a sad shower wank. What he didn't expect was for Johnny, the fucking idiot, to start looking around at women to find one that he'd know John himself would like. He's allowed his men to hear one or two opinions about what sort of women he'd love to have in his arms if he were to have anyone waiting for him at home, so Johnny immediately set his eyes to find a round beauty with pretty eyes and maybe, hopefully, a sassy mouth too.
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish gave off erratic, simple-minded energy, but John never, in his years of knowing him, doubted there was a brilliant mind hiding behind that non-filtered mouth.
"Aye, lassie, wouldn't ya be interested in me Captain here? He's a miserable bastard but a good man." That fucking idiot. The Captain in question gritted his teeth, almost biting onto his good (and last) cigar before turning his gaze back at the Scott, yet in the middle of his field of view now stood a tired-looking softness, and he could not avoid looking her from head to toe. Curves everywhere, hidden by plain looking clothes that have seen better days, soft lips turned in a frown, eyes that gave away much, including annoyance. A raised brow was directed at his Sergeant, that somehow kept yapping.
"Do you usually harass women like that, specially at this time of the night?" Would it be best for her to approach a tipsy Soap? No. But hearing her ask him "Are you a creep?" so curtly to make Soap actually stutter an answer made John snort. He lived to see the day, incredible.
What he didn't expect was for his spine to tense a bit when her eyes started running through his team, immediately fixating on the big one with the mask, as always, then Gaz, who has always been told is the nicest of them, and then lastly at John. Pretty eyes scrutinized him for a single second, and he couldn't deny he forgot to breathe automatically for said neverending second. Disappointment ran through him, just a small pang, as she decided to take a step to walk away, giving Soap another nasty look.
"I'm no creep, I promise. This' the one, gorgeous." A pat on the back made the Captain look visibly annoyed at Soap, but he held it together when she did look back, even more annoyed.
"That's what a creep would say." Soft voice turned harsher, then gave John another look.
"Not my doing, ma'am, apologies." He'd try a disarming, gentle smile, the one he'd use when negotiating between two fronts. Well, before he got serious, of course.
"I see. You're the Captain, I understand." He nodded, guarded to see what she'd say next. "You pay bills?"
It was hard to make him pause. After years of having his mind go on overdrive, even in his sleep, John wasn't used to being disarmed and amused at the same time, so the chuckle leaving him was refreshing. Gaz could be heard coughing a laugh, moving a few steps away too.
"That's a given, angel." Rough voice answered, confident and a bit cheeky himself. The surprise on her face, even if it was just a glimpse before turning back into a now more faked annoyance, made him feel good, knowing he's won some terrain.
"Ah, normally men stop talking after that question. I don't know what to say now." Her unapologetic honesty made him chuckle lowly again and she smiled in return. Soap opened his mouth to talk and she gave him a look. "Stop creeping women out at night-time, man."
"Also, what happened to the stalking, the breaking and entering, the..." The woman started snapping her fingers, trying to remember the words, and John couldn't wait for her next words.
"Flowers?" Interrupted Gaz, mostly baffled by the fact that a cute little bird was just running over them in such an odd way.
"Sure, that too. Men don't do it like they used to, I swear. Now you need to rent a local creep to have a woman talk to you instead of being the proper maniac yourself." Aaaah, so she wanted to play while also taking jab after jab at his Sergeant. The weight of the last mission was forgotten, washing off his bones in such amusing, refreshing way and he couldn't help but actually smile. He could swear he heard Ghost snort too.
"Hm. Excuse me, then, I'll change my strategy."
"You better. You want a wife? Work for it. And do pay the bills. That's nice too. Bye, handsome."
And when he left the apartment complex the next day, lip burst, not because he couldn't avoid it, but because he allowed it, John decided his future wife was perfect for him. And needed some lessons in self defense because that initial punch when he did break and enter her house could've been better.
This was in my drabbles for way too long, and I thought it was cute. Hope it made you smile. Go and sass some men, I'm sure they deserve it đ©·
