#cod incorrect quotes

[thephantomsdream]

Soap: What did you do on break, Lt?

Ghost: Rode my bike and slept in an alleyway behind a bar.

Gaz: Checks out... (leaves the room)

Ghost: ...

Ghost: Want to know what I really did?

Soap: (immediately interested)

Soap: Yeah!

Ghost: (pulls out his phone)

Ghost: (shows picture of him having someone cuddled up next to him, both under a blanket, two switches in hand, both on the Stardew Valley logo screen)

Soap: (his smile falls immediately)

Soap: Wh—

Ghost: I played Stardew Valley with the missus.

Soap: The mi—?!

Ghost: Planted crops, went to the mines...

Ghost: (swipes through more pictures of them playing)

Soap: (stunned silence)

Ghost: Upgraded the house for the missus, made some town friends... (screenshots of more gameplay)

Soap: Wait—

Ghost: Even fishing. (shows a picture of him catching a legendary fish)

Ghost: The missus doesn't like fishing. (clicks his tongue) Caught them all though. (nods to himself)

Ghost: (smirks) Want to know why I'm telling you this?

Soap: (still stunned, but nods)

Ghost: Because nobody will believe you.

Ghost: (starts deleting all pictures in front of Soap)

Soap: (pained gasp)

Soap: Ye monster.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Fuck me if I'm wrong but- Ghost: Wrong. You are wrong Y/N: I haven't even said- Ghost, taking his shirt off: You are WRONG

[vinctki]

I was going to post angst next but this stupid thing came into my mind instead

[mochroialainn]

Simon *walks into the kitchen*: Bitch whats for dinner?

Y/N *softly*: Grilled chesse?

Simon: If you ever let me talk to you like that you better smack the shit out of me. If I ever talk to you like that, do you understand?

Y/N: Yeah?

Simon: Yeah

[skyrigel]

Y/n: Hey. What do bees make ?

Simon: I know this joke but since I am hopelessly in love with you and all your silly ways, I will follow along with you through everything.

Simon: Honey.

Y/n *through tears*: ...Yes dear.

Masterlist

[soriyalotus]

[Older bf!Simon]

Y/N : why was there 5,000 transferred to my account?

Ghost : oh I thought that was gonna hit Monday

Ghost : for you, lovie

Ghost : you deserve it

Y/N : wait huh???

Y/N : for me? For what?

Y/N : just cause??

Ghost : gotta make sure my baby gets stuff paid for

Ghost : because you spending my money turns me on

[gross-lovers]

[dorkus99-com]

Ghost: Johnny…, would ya still love me if I were—

Soap: No.

Ghost: No?! Fuck you mean NO?!

Soap: Yer Lucky I even tolerate you as you currently are.

Ghost: *Shock*

Soap: Better yet, we’re over.

*Simon shoots up from bed, waking up in a sweat*

Soap: Simon? Ye alright love?

Simon: Couch, Mactavish. Now.

Mactavish: *sigh* Yes dear… :c