Broadcasting LIVE from behind your local Costco @thephenomenalscream - Tumblr Blog

mariacallous

64mpg

a basic task is a kind of dead wife when you have executive dysfunction

pixiecaps

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

ohcaptains

enyter

maxxie-or-smth

i was crazy back then (8 minutes ago)

lesbianalicent

i think i'm gonna die in this

house

cali

2018 tumblr post:

1: why do they call it a boner when theres no bone in it

2: there used to be

3: why does this sound so ominous

2025 tumblr post:

1: forward my shambling soldiers and slay without thinking. let blood flow into every crevice of this rotten land

2: yes my lady

3: yes my lady

afloweroutofstone

This is the first time in my life when it's actually fair to criticize the President for gas prices. I've spent so many years explaining to people that Presidents have pretty limited influence over the price of oil and that they do not have a magical lower-gas-prices button on their desk, I almost forgot that the President does actually have a raise-gas-prices button on their desk called "start a war with Iran for no reason"

hotcrossedfangs

gammadoppler

i hate it when the ball is in my court get that shit out of here

hottestroadkill

i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

dogpuppy

treasuredplanet

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

solsticelosthermind

I know this is a deeply American thing to say but I am begging everyone to stay the fuck away from military recruiters. Especially high school kids. You are going to be seeing an unholy amount of them in schools or around schools or literally anywhere kids are known to congregate. THIS INCLUDES ALL FORMS OF ROTC. Stay the fuck away from military recruiters. As someone who’s familiar with entirely too many branches through entirely too many friends and family, including my partner, recruiters are authorized to say literally any fucking thing they think will make you sign on that line. They cannot and will not deliver on those promises. They need bodies for the war they’re pretending is only now starting up again. That’s all you are. A body. Stay the FUCK away from the military.