keep the door open. @theplacebythewindow - Tumblr Blog

sardinenfilets

Every time I see my phone I’m like Grr my worst enemy. Hope someone I love texted me

jay-wasstuff

Mans career popping and I love that for him

theplacebythewindow

It's me, I'm the internet. But also lets stop sexually harassing the dude.

I have a lot to do. Personally, I mean.

I have to apologize to Savannah. I have to make sure I actually forgive her, too. I have to go to the dentist. I have to try to become productive. I have to find a way to release this very silly need for influence over J&K’s dog training. I need to say goodbye to Michael for the millionth time. I need to find a way to love me. I need to become healthier. I have to finally figure out how to create change in my own life. I have to make small choices that are better than the ones I made yesterday. I have to speak less. I need to speak more positively--about myself and others. I have to implement a routine that serves me. I have to find a life partner. I need to become a mother. I have to find a doctor and schedule an appointment. I need to keep the dust off of my dresser and the crevices of each of my lamps. I need to go to bed anytime before 12am. I need to wake up before 8am. I need to figure out a way to make my hair shiny again. I need to answer the question, “Is it possible to feel my feelings alone or do I only feel my feelings after I’ve vocalized them and someone can reflect them back to me?” I need to tell my mom I love her. I need to tell my dad too, but I also need to figure out if I only love the “idea” of him and not the person I keep experiencing him to be in most of our interactions. I need to do my knee exercises so I don’t have another injury. I need to put my phone down when I eat. I have to make enough money to be comfortable later in life. I have to establish what I “want” in life so I can maybe take a step in that direction. I need to clean up the pile of cleaning supplies that have just been sitting on my bathroom floor for the past two months. I need to think through the idea that I want to grow as a person and yet I am entirely unwilling to engage in any challenge whatsoever. I need to re-learn a couple social skills (for example, how to not give unsolicited advice or passive & judgmental suggestions). I need to examine why I keep tucking myself deeper and deeper in my own room/mental space. I need to meal prep. I need to go on dates. I need to feel like a better version of myself.

I’m absolutely paralyzed by my to-do list. And tomorrow will probably be generally exactly the same as today.

I got a Tumblr back when I first met Nicki. I thought she was cool and cultured, so I figured that if I also wanted to be cultured then I should definitely have a Tumblr.

I used to use it to be inspired. I used it as a way to expand my writing skills and dive into my own mind with the hope of pulling something useful out of it.

I don’t do that anymore. I am just a consumer of the internet. I hear and read other people’s opinions all day long and I never take time to explore, form, and express my own thoughts.

Tumblr has always felt like a different space than the other digital spaces. It’s easier to exist here-- perhaps its because my network here is small. There aren’t very many people here to make my phone light up or to give me that dopamine hit every time my eyes see that dumb red heart.

I’m weary of the internet--I’m weary of everything it has taken from me and everything I have given to it. The internet has fed my creativity while simultaneously consuming it.

I think what I’m trying to say is that I miss the days before I spent 7-12 hours of a day off staring at a device that provides necessary, depressing, amusing, and addicting information.

theimpossiblecool

“Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”

- Anthony Bourdain

metamorphesque

What the Living Do, Marie Howe

aangs

“To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one’s been crueller than I’ve been to me.”

— Alanis Morissette (via quotemadness)

ibroughtyoumybullets

sunday is just i have to set my computer on fire i have to do laundry i have to find god i have to make tea i have to quit my job and start a new life in a different state i have to be more honest with the people around me i have to clean my room i have to cut my hair i have to be more deliberate with my hobbies and downtime i have to make a doctors appointment i have to go back to therapy i have to start dating i have to make more friends i have to go on a long drive i have to spend 4 hours disassociating in a target i have to paint my nails i have to tell my mother i love her. but instead i will simply sit.

aseaofquotes

Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

daweyt

Thinking about the latin phrase “sedit qui timuit ne non succederet” (“he who feared he would not succeed sat still”) and how my perfectionism and fear of failure makes me procrastinate and do nothing of my day.

maaarine

Anthony Bourdain

frenchsiren

I’m Not Scared to Reenter Society. I’m Just not sure I want to - Tim Kreider for The Atlantic

philosophybits

“I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exist somehow.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

onlinecounsellingcollege

Darling, you deserve it all. You deserve love and peace and magic and joy dancing in your eyes. You deserve hearty, deep belly laughter and the right to let those tears fall and water the soil. You deserve freedom and goodness and company and days of bliss and quiet too. You deserve you happy and healed and content and open. So keep going. Go realize into being the life you deserve.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)