THIS IS A REAL FUCKING COFFEE AU AND THE GUY IS A SIDE CHARACTER
imagine your otp

titsay

Kiana Khansmith
d e v o n
todays bird
almost home
Peter Solarz
i don't do bad sauce passes

★

pixel skylines
noise dept.
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
NASA
Monterey Bay Aquarium

izzy's playlists!

Origami Around
sheepfilms
No title available
dirt enthusiast

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from Mexico

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Colombia
seen from Colombia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
@theplatform934
THIS IS A REAL FUCKING COFFEE AU AND THE GUY IS A SIDE CHARACTER
imagine your otp
CHRYSOS
This is SO funny
[softly] to dream of raven locks entwisted, stormy…
au where harry absentmindedly answered his ringing phone, tired from all the papers he has to read and sign. it's late. he's fucking knackered. he didn't even bother looking at the caller id. it didn't even registered to him it was malfoy talking on the other side of the line, his secretary.
"potter, kingsley wanted to have a meeting with you at thursday lunch. i'm going to pen it in on your schedule. do not accept any other appointments without consulting me firsthand. merlin knows how forgetful you are. oh do not take it to the heart, i get it. i get it. you passed your newts and that means you have an intact brain inside of your thick skull but i rather think you did it with sheer stubbornness."
"hmmmm."
"i take it that your lack of response means you agree."
"hmmmm."
"potter? are you listening? ㅡ oh the bastard."
"yes yes. hmmmm."
"potter. are you still looking at the reports?"
"hmmmm?"
"potter. go to sleep."
"..."
"i swear to — fuck the things i do for you! potter, if you don't put those reports down and get yourself tucked in in five minutes i will — oh for the love of things that are unholy — you're not listening are you?"
"..."
"HARRY JAMES POTTER."
"wha — what??? malfoy? is that you?"
"PUT THAT PARCHMENT DOWN.
"why are you yelling?!"
"PUT THAT PARCHMENT DOWN."
"okay! okay! no need to work yourself up. i'm putting it down."
"good. go to fucking sleep. if i find out you're still working i will come and murder you myself. do not tempt me."
"you're threatening the head auror?"
"i don't care if you're the head auror. this is my job. you're responsible for my paycheque. you are no good to me if you're not taking care of yourself."
harry released a big yawn and malfoy softened. this big fucking oaf, incapable of not pushing his body to its limits. truly, what would this idiot do if draco didn't come and save the day.
"mhmmm. i'm going to bed now. i can't keep my eyes open anymore."
harry let the exhaustion took over him. he left the study room and face planted himself on his bed.
"potter? i assume you're on your bed now."
"...yeah."
"good night, scarhead."
"mhmmm. night. love you."
it took five seconds for harry to realize his slip. he opened his eyes and looked at the phone. it's still on.
"i mean! err... night. good night! ah Ha HA HA DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE—"
"are you taking it back?! i dare you, you fucker! you choose this time to tell me — i will murder you!"
"drac— malfoy! wait let me—"
"i love you too you wanker! we will discuss this in the morning. go to fucking sleep."
the phone line went dead silent. harry wanted to call draco back but he knew draco was panicking. he was too but he let the sleep cradled him while replaying the call's last line. he smiled.
Draco! We’re obviously the most interesting topic in wizarding Britain today!
I have this headcanon...
(yes again)
That Harry and Draco would hook up in the prefects bathroom. It started one night as a fight. They were swinging fists and then suddenly… well, there was thrusting. They didn’t speak during or after.
The next time they both ended up in the bathroom at the same time, it happened again. After that, they would meet up every Thursday. They never spoke - not during or after. Harry was ashamed, but there was something so thrilling about sneaking around with Draco. and when had he become draco?
After a particularly catty article from one Rita Skeeter that had the whole school turning on him, Harry found himself pulled into the bathroom on a Friday. They still didn’t talk, but Draco’s lips brushed his softly and something shifted.
and that’s how I met your father
“You no fun, unca Dwaco!”
there are few things funnier in life than remembering the marauders went to hogwarts in the 70s:
james with dumbass 70s glasses
sirius getting full into the london punk movement
though he secretly loves the beegees but will never admit it
dressing up in sgt pepper’s costumes for halloween
singing along to knowing me knowing you by abba at their graduation
star wars coming out just as they break up for christmas 7th year so lily drags them all to the cinema to see it
peter’s favourite movie is saturday night fever
everybody roller-skating down the halls of hogwarts
james wearing stupidly flared trousers and wide collared shirts
lily watching dad’s army and yelling ‘you stupid boy!’ at james whenever he does something dumb
remus loves monty python and everybody is shocked at how dark his sense of humour is
peter gets stressed about the responsibility of owning an owl so decides to buy a pet rock instead
lily and james’ house being decorated with that weird textured wallpaper your grandparents have
lava lamps in the gryffindor common room
lily has a stuffed bagpuss toy that she loves dearly
and remus has a magical version of morph that can move around and lives on his bedside table
Jude Law is cancelled. He’s making me thirst after Dumbledore, and I refuse to imagine Dumbledore as anything other then old as balls and wearing ugly ass robes. get out of my face with this amazing beard and suit combo. the fuck.
Slytherin: if you’re going to get revenge on someone, don’t generalize. Make it personal. Make it-
Gryffindor: this isn’t a very nice conversation
Ravenclaw, taking notes: hush
Slytherin: yeah, hush. As I was saying-
power couple
Person A: If karma won’t fuck you, I will.
Person B: Is this a pickup line or a threat?
Person A: Both.
W Magazine
incorrect quotes
mr. barrow dropping that knowledge.