The Bowery Presents
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@therealactuallordhenrywotton
The last thing you have is COMMON SENSE. Luck? Yes. Assholery? Yes. But common sense???? NO.
If I may be permitted to say, Anon, compared to many others I have the honourable pleasure of knowing, one would say I have quite the bounty of it.
I love you.
Even I must say, Anon, that is a horrible decision. After all, love is an illusion dedicated to trapping the young and full of life, the ones tainted with naivete, in an inescapable web of bleakness and sorrow, which is more commonly known as "marriage".
But I must admit, it is refreshing to get a love confession rather than a death threat today.
@therealactuallordhenrywotton CHEEEEEP, CHEEP! CHEEP!
You've been at that since morning, will you please cease? Some of us have to arise late and appear in society even later.
Why don’t you want to be painted, bastard?
I've been painted once before, and it's an absolute bore. One has to sit in one place for hours without stirring. One can't even smoke without being reprimanded for disturbing the finished result. Although, paintings themselves can capture the very essence of one's soul. Whether it be the subject, or, in some cases, the artist. And besides, I haven't been painted since I was in my youth. I hardly think I should like to be now.
DADDY 😩😩😩💦💦💦
Yes?
Me: I'm a pacifist Lord Henry Wotton: being shallow is sexy Me: *gets out my glock* I'm a doctor, but..
lmaooooo, feel free to join the murder mob
Me: human life is precious
Lord Henry Wotton: *exists*
Me: no not you, you can choke
He isn’t human though, he can’t be
He literally came back to life after being killed apparently, he cannot be human.
Wait
What????
You missed the drama? Griffin Anon and his date went out and killed the bitch, but apparently he just… rose from the dead somehow??
I called it
Call the priest
EXORCISE THIS FUCKER!
In fairness, we didn’t really have time to check for a pulse. But there was, at the very least, a savage beating.
Finish that beating with the word of god
BEAT HIM WITH A BIBLE NEXT TIME
I INTEND TOO.
I don’t know how to perform an exorcism, but I have this.
@therealactuallordhenrywotton
Does this incite any particular feelings of terror or revulsion in you?
Should it?
If so, it really doesn't.
HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD??????
Dead? Me? Oh, my dear Anon, I think you may have gotten ahold of the wrong man.
Are you human?
What else would I be? Hedonists are humans, aren't they?
He killed two people. Wotton doesn't count. He's not a person . He's awful.
When I was talking to him, he didn’t seem awful! He seemed alright. If a bit pretentious.
No, he’s pretty awful. Being pretentious is part of it. His callous disregard for what happens everytime he opens his big stupid mouth is the rest. He destroys lives with that silver tongue of his and the worst part is I don’t think he beleives a word of the trash he spews.
But he’s dead. Someone pop some champaign.
Who said I was dead?
Why won't you die
Because, my dear Anon, I possess something many others I know simply do not have.
'Common sense.'
Are you aware of people threatening your murder?
Most people do so on a daily basis. Although, I haven't the faintest idea why.
Please tell your boyfriend to stop destroying the world, i would like to enjoy autumn in peace
I apologise, Anon. Hedonists will be hedonists, no? Well, at least it will be attractive. And be prone to breaking a few hearts. It is Dorian, after all.
You finna die soon
Aren’t we all? That’s why we should all convert to hedonism and enjoy the sweet, pleasurable, releases of life, before Death eventually takes us in it’s blissful slumber.
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard someone say?
"I can't show this portrait, Harry, there's too much of me in it."
Roses are red / Dolphins are whales / Hedonism may look good / But inevitably fails
Is that so..? Well, it certainly hasn't failed for me. Perhaps it fails to those with a weak sense of willpower. It's easy to go off the rails wanting more. Especially to one who has just acquired a taste for it.
Nice rhyme, by the way.
I would but his ask box isn’t open — nosy anon
Pity. However, I still can't tell you what he said to me. As I had explained before, he has sworn me to secrecy. My apologies, Anon.
@therealactualbasilhallward, dear boy, open your ask box, these Anons are dying to know about your personal affairs.
D O R I A N G A R Y
...I think you've gotten ahold of the wrong man. Nonetheless, that is quite amusing. I shall have to tell Dorian about this jocular misspelling.
