So, I just woke up from the most amazing dream. I was in Southend High Street with The Husband to do a food shop, we went into the old George at Asda but it was now a pound shop out the front and a TopShop in the back. And it was all new season goodies, none of this Sale crap! I detest the Sales, its all sad, old toot that nobody wanted full price, shoved on some portable rails. Its all so depressing, and, in the case of somewhere like Zara, takes up the whole bloody store. If youâve ever been to the Zara at Lakeside, youâll know the queue is horrendous at the best of times but in the Sales it will snake around the whole store and they have the grand total of 2 assistants working the tills. There is nothing I could ever want that much that would get me into that queue. (Actually, thatâs a lie, Iâve done it once for a pair of sand coloured suede long boots with a wooden heel. They had gone down to ÂŁ12!! Admittedly I have to fight to get my right foot in [no zips and I have a high instep] and I need several people to help me pull them off but still, ÂŁ12, total bargain!). I get total rage going to the shops when the Sales are on. In fact, iâm not sure why I keep giving the word a capital S. Its completely undeserving of it. Anyway, back to the dream.....
Like I said, it was brand new season clothing and there, sitting in the midst of it all, was the most amazing pleated midi skirt iâd ever laid eyes on. Now, I know these babies have been around for a while but here me out. It was the most gorgeous deep metallic silver, with a slightly black sheen running through the thread, the pleats were as sharp as a knife point and there was a tiger stalking towards you, coming out of the skirt!!! (as opposed to just the side profile print of a tiger). It was bloody marvellous, the sheer excitement of the skirt woke me up, and I lay there for a good hour, thinking about this tiger skirt and how wonderful it would be to own. How this skirt wouldnât make me look dumpy with a big old shelf arse (I have a long torso and short legs. My bum looks good in jeans or anything fitted, too much material around my arse and thighs is not a good look), this skirt would change my life! I tried to get back to sleep to dream some more about this saviour of skirts but it ended up seguing into a scene where I was in an actual pound shop, talking to my sister and her fella about tinsel wigs (donât ask).Â
So, seeing as I canât draw for shit, and, even though I did take a pattern cutting course whereby I made myself a skirt block, my sewing skills are nowhere near good enough to replicate that wonderous piece of engineering. So instead I will have to make do with the silver pleated midi skirt I already own from H&M. Itâs a bit more swishy, a much paler silver and nowhere near as âfashionyâ as the tiger skirt of my dreams but if I wear it with high enough heels and the right top I donât look like Iâve got a fat arse and dumpy thighs. I think.Â
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