me, single, dishing out relationship advice
via
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
i don't do bad sauce passes

JBB: An Artblog!
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Game of Thrones Daily
styofa doing anything

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$LAYYYTER

★

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
noise dept.
almost home
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
todays bird
dirt enthusiast
🪼
cherry valley forever

seen from Lithuania
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@thereallizzybennett
me, single, dishing out relationship advice
via
this shouldn’t have made me laugh so hard but I almost cried
Big sister drops to her knees to show affection to newborn Photo by James Irwin
OHHH MY GOD
overheard a girl’s phone conversation on the bus where she angrily asked the person on the other line why she had to call on someone else’s phone - “why did you block my number?? yes you did! then why didn’t you answer my calls or texts???” and i was like damn, this girl is mad, i kinda feel bad for whoever she’s talking to. then she said “no, grandma, LISTEN” and i was like grandma, the fuck? how could you?
she read this post with her pussy
y’all hear about this Payless shoestore prank ???
fucking wild levels of hilarious
why are rich people like this lmao
“Palessi” sold about $3,000 worth of shoes within a few hours and, after the shoppers paid, staffers told them that the shoes were actually from Payless, according to AdWeek, which reported on the event Wednesday. “They are elegant (and) sophisticated,” one shopper described her purchase as, in a Payless video posted on YouTube.
Then, the woman, who Payless says is a real person not an actor, was told the shoes actually were the handiwork of Payless. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said.
Another shopper, this one a man, said about his purchase, “I could tell it’s made with high quality material.”
Payless refunded the shoppers their purchase prices and plans to use the video testimonials, already available on YouTube, as commercials on social media and TV.
Source
not to sound too millennial here but it annoys me so much when I’m at a restaurant and someone I’m with will complain about the service being slow like buddy pal it’s fine it’s not that important
You didn’t waited 40 minutes for a dinner before haven’t you?
i have but i also have, like, real problems
I waited well over an hour for food once at IHOP, because it kept coming out inedible. We finally asked what was going on, and it turns out that the ONLY cook had been working for 36 hours straight with only a short nap. I ordered the easiest thing to make, tipped the waitress heavily, and sent her back to the cook with a $10 tip for them, too, AFTER watching the 24-hour restaurant close the doors so that they could send the cook home for some rest. Yeah, I’ve waited 40 minutes for my dinner, and I didn’t ask for a discount, we tipped VERY well, and sent the cook our best wishes. If something goes wrong with your restaurant experience, consider that there are real people back there, working under god knows what conditions.
“Millennials” are more human than their previous generations imo
“You didn’t waited 40 minutes for a dinner before haven’t you?”
“i have but i also have, like, real problems”
This has such a baby boomer vs. millennial energy and i think about this exchange everyday
One of the contractors at work drove past my shack on a forklift yesterday, stopped, backed up to my window and said, “hey, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”
My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-
-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”
Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.
Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”
And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”
And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.
Like?? Thank god for Contractor tbh. He’s an angel among men, and I hope the rest of his life is filled with prosperity and happiness and like, that he finds $20 on the ground every week for the rest of his life.
Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.
Update the Second: I saw Contractor while doing my tour and he told me that the guy that asked if I was single was around, and that if I saw him, I should just make complicated hand gestures at him while I walk by to scare him off.
This guy’s a fuckin gem.
somehow existing at the same time as you is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me
if you’re reading this i hope you find the strength to get through whatever it is that’s causing you so much trouble or pain at the moment
I hope parallel universe me is doing ok right now
“Starter house”?????? We’re supposed to have more than one house???????
lmao homeboy STRUGGLED
Idk who he is but I love him
This feels like a cartoon
This is literally what it’s like to own a rabbit tho
discourse topic of the night: mini m&ms are objectively better than normal m&ms.
90% of the people in the notes are just saying the same thing over and over about the candy to chocolate ratio, but i’d really like to give a shoutout to this person, for wording it in the most cursed way they could manage
Goofy is just done.
Okay, I’ve seen every trailer and Goofy is still mad. He’s tired of that darkness crap. Someone is gonna get really hyucked up this time.