Keeping It Unreal

I'm gonna lie to you. Maybe even more than once.

[therealmaddunsterling]

Good morning-to-about-half-past-ten, folks!

Name's Maddun Sterling, but do call me Madster. You may know me from, among other things, my contributions to my home, The Sprout, being a founding member of M.E.A.N.I.E.S., incredible fame across many dimensions for almost as many reasons, my music career, and being the best illusionist in the multiverse.

Yeah you read that right. In infinity, I'm provably the best. Feel like proving me wrong? Give it your best shot- I'd be the happier of us if you succeeded! Being the best gets BORING, and I'd LOVE to have someone that can keep up with me.

I've decided to set up shop on YOUR 🫵🫵🫵 fine Hellsite because it amuses me! What an honor, eh?

Anyway, to wrap up this intro post, here's some quick facts about me.

I'm Old!

I think 90% of "Master illusionists" you people put in media should be on fraud watch tbh

That is NOT shadow beneath my (Wonderful) hat, I am made of smoke 👍

I'm not apologizing about the Library of Alexandria and none of you can prove I was involved

• I Do Not Sleep

In addition to smoke, I am an artificial soul. They made me in a lab. With magic. Is that fucked up or what

[therealmaddunsterling]

I've been lobbying for like 7 different species to be scientifically named Blorbus Supremus for the last 8 years. It's not working

[therealmaddunsterling]

I was gonna pull a scheme today but first I nred to figure out how to sp3ll cockamamy. Cockamimey. Cockamama. Cockadoodledoo. Cooking Mama

[therealmaddunsterling]

girl help i got bored and impulse-ordered a 40kg toast what do i do

[therealmaddunsterling]

Not one of you came to my aid. Unlike the 40kg toast. I will remember this

[therealmaddunsterling]

girl help i got bored and impulse-ordered a 40kg toast what do i do

[therealmaddunsterling]

I just had a talk with a psychic cassowary that really wanted me to drive Mega Bloks to extinction. And like. I was gonna do that anyway. But I guess I can move schedule ahead a few weeks

[therealmaddunsterling]

Heard about a Thrive infestation starting downtown and I'm just sitting here like. How is this weird plant still an issue. We've got thousands of nerds capable of writing physics from entropy and we can't make real good planticide to get rid of the cordyceps flower ant things??? Fucked up

[therealmaddunsterling]

Very happy to announce my sweet new album "Sterling Spectacular #3" dropping later this month.

Will feature such upcoming classics as:

Spectacular #5 (5:55)

Multiverse of Me (8:22)

A currently untitled 40 minute Space Jam remix (40:01)

Ratsniff Polaroid (2:57:40)

Paperwork (0:22, ft. my brother)

Catachism Cataclysm (3:23)

William Bark (0:02, ft a dog)

Insulin Pimp (4:22)

Holy Hazard (6:00 ft. Unoet'Nor)

Tether 2 Forever (TBD, ft. Michael the Chronomancer)

Touxghwhuenneteigheh (2:28)

Rhomboid Reactor (4:34)

Status Dough (8:08)

And many more! I will also be releasing William Bark as a standalone CD early next week.

give me your money

[therealmaddunsterling]

Getting reviews from. Time trvallers????

[therealmaddunsterling]

Very happy to announce my sweet new album "Sterling Spectacular #3" dropping later this month.

Will feature such upcoming classics as:

Spectacular #5 (5:55)

Multiverse of Me (8:22)

A currently untitled 40 minute Space Jam remix (40:01)

Ratsniff Polaroid (2:57:40)

Paperwork (0:22, ft. my brother)

Catachism Cataclysm (3:23)

William Bark (0:02, ft a dog)

Insulin Pimp (4:22)

Holy Hazard (6:00 ft. Unoet'Nor)

Tether 2 Forever (TBD, ft. Michael the Chronomancer)

Touxghwhuenneteigheh (2:28)

Rhomboid Reactor (4:34)

Status Dough (8:08)

And many more! I will also be releasing William Bark as a standalone CD early next week.

give me your money

[evilwizard]

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

[the-stew-goblin]

I already have some!!! Stew related ofc!! Everyone tell me your special power STAT

[therealmaddunsterling]

Cool & Awesome Illusions 👍

[tbdmultiverseresearchdivision]

> having an argument with someone

>they suddenly stop existing

> entirely new person appears to argue with you about something you never remember happening.

[therealmaddunsterling]

Fuck that's a mood

[therealmaddunsterling]

I need to serious for a minute.

Perfection is impossible, by nature. I know this. I've only ever used it as an unattainable motivator.

So I got into magic knowing full well I'd never reach the end of studying it- Which suited me just fine! It is a FANTASTIC way to spend time.

And yet, now I'm standing at a precipice. I'm slowly running out of ways to improve my illusions. They come out exactly as I wish, change how I want, and run more efficiently than the wheel. They are, by most any metric, as close to perfect as anything could be.

So what if I run out? Will that mean I've simply hit the limit of my imagination, or will I somehow have created something perfect? I hope not to find out.

[therealmaddunsterling]

My cool new deathtrap just failed completley. Dammit. They didn't even fall for it. Just blew it up from a distance. Fuck my stupid villain life, this is gonna eat into my budget something fierce

[therealmaddunsterling]

You can solve most problems by giving me 5-20¥ and a big enough gun.

Thugs setting up shop nextdoor? Easy peasy.

Mayor Menace is taking too long to fix potholes??? Let's see him meander when his house is swiss cheese

One specific punk that needs Instant PTSD? I don't even NEED a gun for that

Relationship advice?! No you're on your own for that one actually I don't think holding someone at gunpoint is gonna help you

[therealmaddunsterling]

A bird just flew in through the window and spouted prophecy at me for like 5 minutes straight. I didn't catch any of it because I wasn't aware we had birds here yet tho

[therealmaddunsterling]

It's back

[therealmaddunsterling]

A bird just flew in through the window and spouted prophecy at me for like 5 minutes straight. I didn't catch any of it because I wasn't aware we had birds here yet tho

[therealmaddunsterling]

Covering the world in illusions isn't that hard. You can manage it in like 4 runic components.

1. The base, whatever illusion you wanna cast on Everywhere

2. Expander, increases the area of effect of the spell

3. Repeater, repeats the initial Expander Sigil and effectively re-casts it at a fraction of the effort, autonomously, as long as it has the power to activate itself

4. Recycling, cycles the used magic energy back into the spell so it doesn't fizzle out or require your constant attention to remain stable

This is Way Oversimplified obviously, the actual thing would be about as complicated to put together as a supercomputer. And I mean drawing up all the circuits and how they connect to eachother, not just assembling it. But the point is that. Covering all of reality in Absolute Bullshit? Totally doable, easy. I've got it on speed-cast, I can do that shit whenever. Any illusionist that tells you otherwise is worse at it than me