daniel

hi friend

[joshdunit]

[therefinedfellow]

(Pure) moosic

[jollynagito]

when ur in public and u can’t find ur mom

[officialunitedstates]

“fbi” i yell, kicking down your apartment door.

you sit up, shaken, asking whats going on

“ill be asking the questions” i yell as i kick down your closet door

there’s just coats in there you tell me

“fbi” i scream as i kick down your bathroom door

what are you doing you say

“you got any more doors?” i ask

[officialunitedstates]

4 score and 7 years ago…. why did abe only score 4 times??  you think he’d be better at basketball with him being tall and everything.  history is confusing

[officialunitedstates]

hi im officialunitedstates.  *walks into your house* where do you keep your trampoline?  *starts opening cupboards and tossing pots and pans across your living room* come on dude where do you keep it *goes out to your backyard* oh there it is *steals your trampoline*

[hotpocketts-deactivated20141215]

Jenna look

[officialunitedstates]

who is jenna

[stop-luke]

i am

[officialunitedstates]

nice to meet you im officialunitedstates where is your trampoline

[quelana]

I saw this in a window display today

[bluehawk54]

[therefinedfellow]

growing up with strict parents be like

Me: Can I sleepover at Melanie's house?

Parents: who's Melanie? you never talk about her. have I met her? where does she live? what do her parents do? does she have siblings? what's her ethnicity? how much do her parents make annually? what's her social security number?

[hebbez]

Our beautiful solar system.

[tunedoutt-deactivated20140506]

my little sister and her friend said they were going as horses for halloween and i thought they meant that they were gonna wear like tails or whatever and THEN I GET THIS FUCKING PICTURE

[whybray]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

whybray:

HA HA YOU’RE BLURRY

[lowinterest]

[previouslysane-archive]

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[flosstbh]

me growing up in tennessee 

[futubandera]

[nice-wig-janis]

Shut up Jennifer

[wizyoshi]

My mother texted me saying dinner was on the stove. She never cooks so it was a nice suprise.When I got home after work I saw a pot on the stove,thinking it was pasta I quickly opened it. Inside there was a Mcdonalds bags… I knew it was too good to be true, atleast I got some nuggets.

[mikewheelor-deactivated20171122]

[lil-baby-phan]

Guys, please pass this around. Those messages about the virus are really something that should not be ignored. I woke up today with three of these messages in my inbox. Three. This virus this is getting smarter and smarter by the minute. I understand that they are anonymous, but DO NOT answer them because after this, you’ll get fanmail that you’ll accidentally click on and that’s when you’ll get the virus. I’m honestly not sure if I want to be on tumblr with this happening. Please spread this around and everyone stay protected.

Spread this

sTAY SAFE MY CHILDREN

[fridadali]

It’s a good thing I just assume no one has a crush on me

[mythic-weapon]

people: filled with sin dirt: filled with worms (a good and righteous thing)

[zevri]

#this post seems like catholic peasant shitposting from the year 1100  (via shellbeaste)

[thewolfandowl]

follow for more soft twelfth century catholicism