the RONIM musings

Random thoughts from Courtney Minor for RONIM ™. All works are copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Nerves ripping. Searing pain radiating from your side. From your sinews. Deep within. You scratch. Tearing down deep hoping to pinch the throbbing pain. You can’t seem to go deep enough. You dig more. Kick up muscle. Winding around veins. Trying to root out the pain. It eludes you. Still throbbing. It radiates yet with oxblood embers and fiery solar flares. you can’t reach it. Cannot extinguish it. Sustained agony. You just want relief and it again eludes... dodges... places obstacles.

This work is called “Nerves. Pain. Searing.” From my Journal series. This work is about my bodily pains from my illnesses.

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Isolation. Pondering alone. How will all this continue? Alone in our thoughts. Alone in our selfishness. Self loving. Self loathing. Isolation brings focus. Clarity on secret person. Who is the secret person of your heart? Inner monologue. It rips. Rolls. Thunders down neurons. Chasing dreams and nightmares. Inescapable. Isolation brings clarity. Clarity brings perspective. Are we protecting our minds eye? It can transform to softness and light. It can fester into incomprehensible pain. You can’t choose where eye flows but you can choose how you mold it once awake. Awake in isolation.

This work is called “Isolation. Clarity. Awoken.” From my Journal series. It is about my isolation during quarantine.

All works by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Tonight I sit in my studio. I’ve worked on this piece for months. I feel satisfied and at peace. Written, painted and etched into this work are many thoughts. Struggles. Epiphanies. All occurring in the past six months. My heart swells. It breaks. It mends. My mind sinks. Spins. Is pulled a vortex and braces for a great fall. Yes. this, along with other works, is a mind in transition. Findings its heart, soul and mind on the precipice of a unseen dimension.

Original Work by CMinor for RONIM. Music is “Why Oh Why” by Lofive for Epidemic Sound. All works copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Metamorphosis. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by many means. To blossom we must burst forth. The form is shifting. Amorphic. Solid state to liquid. Liquid to air. Uncontainable transformation. Meta. Higher order kind. Change of womanhood. A womb. Metamorphosis at the molecular level. The foundry on which molecular construction and deconstruction occurs. Morph. variant forms. We are just variant forms of the original flawed template. Beautifully flawed, but flawed nonetheless. Osis. It bubbles forth. Redacted. To delete toxic elements sprouting forth. The byproduct of progress. Can you see the spontaneous change in the feminine element?

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

A crisis of faith can shatter your world. But it can also be rebuilt on faith based on evidence and facts. We are anxious but let us not be fearful, anxious or dreadful. We can rely on faith and our anxieties will be conquered. This work is called “Anxiety”.

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

“These hands, covered in paint, transmute my emotions to physical form.” - C. Minor

[theronimmusings]

“Living for Your Ancestors” days pass by... the closer I get to fully releasing. Fractured and cracked. There is beauty in the fracture. I become more fractured everyday. But I am rebuilt with energy beyond human imagination. Let this sustain me.

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

“7/27/2020” I woke up in pain today. I had a terrible headache. Too much on my mind. Wandering thoughts. Floating over seafoam wondering where I will land. I swing my legs over the end of the bed. “Reality it is” I say to myself. Too many ideas pushing on my mind. It’s pushing ready to get out. Are these ideas? Are they emotions? Can I tell the difference? Not sure.

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted and legal.

[theronimmusings]

Thinking of everyone that’s been lost but we will see again. “Time to erase pain. Feel numb. Disappointment. Worrisome. Recess. Redact. Come to grips with the new reality. Holding my breath. Praying to see them all again. Strike out the pain. Remove the suffering. Pray for a new hope. Just keep holding out and remove the sore. Redact. Move on.” Painting called “Coming to Grips” from Redaction series. Made on 6/29/2020 in response to one too many deaths in my life. Coronavirus takes a heavy toll for some and not for others.

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Featuring herself only. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Redaction. Elimination of existence. Removal of element. Many things deleted these days. Long withheld release of air. Never to return. What now has happened shall never be undone. Thick black lines reveal hidden stain. No debate. No conversation. Just removal. Dot. Splash. Slash. All things come to a halt. Time spun backwards. Inwards. Pause. It’s not there. Black hole of nothing in wake of redaction. And like that they are gone. This work is called “Redaction(s)” part of the Redactions series. 6/29/2020

Work by CMinor for RONIM. All images are my own and feature CMinor and/or subjects with releases. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Forgive them father. They know not what they do. Forgive them. Forgive me. For my anger burns. Burning for all those I have lost. Embers glowing due to the selfishness of others. Simmering for the rage within. They know not what they do. I ask, “why do you tolerate oppression?” The answer. “Patience. I will fight for you.” This softens my fury, though it is deep. Patience I say. Just a little longer. While I wait I cry for my children. My loves. My ancestors. My future. But the future has a protector. Only minutes left. Count the minutes. Vengeance will come. This piece is called “Heartache. Forgiveness. Vengeance.” From instinct series. Made on 6/5/2020.

Original work by CMinor for RONIM Art. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

We are suffocated. We cannot breathe. I cannot breathe. I cannot even cry. Can I breathe? I just want to breathe. The pain sits on my chest. The worry floats around me. I worry. I worry about my father. I worry about my brother. I worry for my nephew. I worry for others fathers, sons, nephews, brothers, grandson, Bruhs, friends, humans. I worry for those I love. I worry for myself. This worry transforms me. My shaky calm and uneasy security is shattered again because our imperfect hope is merely a circle rounding back towards pain. It sits on my chest. I cannot breathe. WE. CANNOT. BREATHE.

Works by CMinor for RONIM Art. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

It hits in waves. I’ve been taking a break this past week or so. Just wasn’t in the mood to create. It’s the little things that jumpstart me. Some times it’s profound... like a group friends coming together to show that you are loved. Other times it’s mundane... like getting a nightie in the mail from your favorite designer and wearing it for your own pleasure. Both are valid and both moved me. I’m creating again and it feels great. April 30, 2020 - RONIM Art Studio, Harlem, NYC.

Works by CMinor for RONIM. Photograph of me by me for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Roller coaster. I have been on a emotional roller coaster. One of my favorite independent musicians Katnip made a song that is fitting for my mood lately.... “What is wrong with me? Do I care too carefully? What is wrong with me? Does somebody know? Do my thoughts go way too deep? Cuz I don’t know. I don’t know what.” I think it’s the ever present clock with its “linear” countdown. Waiting for an answer is perhaps the most nerve wracking experience a human can go through. Waiting in suspended expectation.

I finally got my answer yesterday and another today. Even as I get my answers, I am restless... adrenaline high. Almost as if I want to cry. But I don’t. All I ask is “what is wrong with me?” Apr 28, 2020 - Quarantine, RONIM Art Studio, NYC.

Works by CMinor for RONIM. Music “Wrong with Me” by Katnip for Epidemic Sound

[theronimmusings]

Coterie: FCC. Works by RONIM Art Studio and copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

“Day 30 - 4/13/2020” And so it ends. When I started this 30 Day Art Quarantine, I saw it as a duel opportunity to keep myself busy during the COVID 19 crisis and create an inventory of smaller, more accessible works for the public. What I didn’t anticipate is the emotional release and roller coaster I’ve gone through. It’s been 30 days of anxiety, pain, hope and indifference. I thought by today I would be out of quarantine but unexpectedly, that is not to be. I foresee much longer in isolation. We are living history. A milestone to be discussed for decades, no centuries to come. And I did my little part in history by chronicling the first 30 days of my isolation. I’m not sure how I will proceed with the remaining days. I know I will continue creating larger works, exploring new forms & ideas but what if 30 days becomes 90? What if it becomes 180?? Well. If that happens I’ll probably do something. Not sure what that will be but I will go after with my whole soul. Thank you and goodnight. RONIM Art Studio, Harlem, NYC.

Work by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.

[theronimmusings]

Work in progress.... one positive aspect of this quarantine is... now I document my works in progress along with my finished works of art. I say a lot in my head but few of those thoughts get said aloud. My friends and family say I can be aloof and indifferent. That’s the case 50% of the time. The other 50% I have full blown lively conversations and swirling thoughts in my head that busts at the seams. When it comes to my art, I’ve found collectors and supporters alike want to know my thoughts process... they want to read/hear all the overflowing strings of thought. Lately, I’ve used my daily blogs to explain it as sometimes I go blank on the spot. It’s been quite efficient in the long run so going to keep this up. Starting with this post... I’ve been experimenting with different styles of collage. Incorporating forms of art I love with the collage patchwork that is my brain. This is my first medium sized work featuring abstract figurative collage. I’m also working on many others including collage landscapes, three dimensional canvases and sculpture. So many ideas and lately plenty of time. 4/12/2020, RONIM Art Studio, Harlem, NYC.

Work in progress by CMinor for RONIM. Copyrighted.