This is supposed to take place during their âargumentâ scene in 1x21 when Barry and Iris confront each other about truth and honesty. Iâm totally re-doing it lol I always loved that scene for the passion and angst, but felt like it could have gone down differently with more feelings shared.
He couldnât let her go. Not like this.
His heart in his throat, on his sleeves, he chased after her.
She was waiting by the elevator, her back to him. He slowed his steps, his eyes trained on her back, willing her to look at him.
âIris,â he said softly. âIâm sorry, I am going to do everything in my power to make this right.â
She whirled around then. ââMake it rightâ? How do you think you can make it right?â She holds her hand up. âYou know what? No. I donât want to hear what you have to say. You had every opportunity this past year to tell me the truth, but you didnât.â
âIris, I know,â he pleaded, âI know I messed up but if I could just explain â â
âOh no need. See, I may have not known what was going on with you, but I did know that something wasnât right. And I do know you, Barry. You did it to protect me, right? You wanted to keep me out of harmâs way and my dad encouraged that part of you and asked to make sure it was kept from me. Iâm not sure how Eddie found out, but I bet he was asked to keep it from me too. That about right?â
Barry wilted, tiredly rubbing his eyes. Of course she knew him so well. In that moment though, he felt comforted and sick at the thought. She knew his reasons and it wasnât enough for her.
Stammering, he tried to find the words to repair this. âIâŠy-yes, thatâs a â â
But she cut him off once again, on a roll as she stepped closer.
âWhat I donât understand though is how you could do this to me.â She looked at him with wet eyes, everything rushing over her. âI stood by you since we were kids, Barry. I was the one to reassure you that you werenât crazy even as my own father believed that you were. I promised you and myself that we would find the truth. Someway, somehow. I was right alongside you everyday, chasing the truth, finding whatever crumb I could to make you happy. And then when I had a shred of anything that could prove you right, to absolve your father, get some semblance of a life back for youâŠyou dismissed me.â
Barry stood in stunned silence, feeling the burn in his eyes. She was right. She had stood by him, she was his lightning rod that broke through the storm and lit the way for him. She was always there even before his motherâs death. It was how he was able to fall so easily and hopelessly in love with her.
He felt like his insides were convulsing at that thought, at the realization of just how much he hurt her.
Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and she swallowed past a lump in her throat. He watched her take in a shaky breath as though steeling herself to say the next words.
âYou know, ever since you told me how you felt about me, I have not been the same. I havenât stopped thinking about you and possibilities and itâs been wreaking havoc on me, but now? Now Iâm questioning it because, this isnât love, Barry.â
His head shot up at that, eyes wide as his heart thumped painfully against his chest. Had she said anything else, it wouldnât have cut as deep as these words.
âLove is about trust, honestly, faith. None of which you had for me. You werenât honest with me and you didnât have faith in me. You took away my right to choose what was best for me, you didnât believe in me and that isnât â â
âNo!â It was his turn to interrupt. He couldnât keep hearing this, he couldnât let herself believe this misconception. He stepped toward her desperately, eyes wide in panic and fear. âIris, I screwed up, I know and I am so, so sorry for hurting you, for betraying you. But I need to explain. I know you know the 'why,â but I need you to understand where Iâm coming from.â
He implored her with his shining eyes and Iris was always weak to them. She could see his heart breaking in front of her and her own responded, feeling sharp pangs. Because Iris made it her mission to bring lightness and happiness into Barryâs life ever since he came to live with her. It wasnât a conscious thought, it never was, but somewhere deep inside her, she knew she needed to see him happy. And it was infuriating that in this moment, when she had every right to be angry with him, she could feel that ire give way to her need to hold him.
But she kept her distance and softened her look instead. He took another tentative step toward her, the space in between them drawing smaller.
âIris, I have lost so much, and you were the one thing I couldnât bear to lose. Itâs why I didnât tell you I loved you sooner and itâs why I didnât tell you that I was the Flash.â He looked at her intensely, his green eyes burning bright upon hers. He didnât waver for a moment as he spoke with conviction.
âIris, I am a man in love with you, but I am also a desperate and terrified man. Those things can exist at once. So yes, I lied to you, but it wasnât out of love for you, it was out of sheer desperation and terror. Terror over the thought of losing you, over something happening to you because of me. So please, Iris, please. You can hate me, you can be mad at me, you can accuse me of anything, but please, donât tell me I donât love you because I do. Iris, I love you more than anything.â
A tear fell from his eye and Iris wanted to run to him but at the same time, his words, spoken with such ardor, left her breathless. She wanted to bask in its overwhelming warmth and glow.
âI know it as sure as I know anything in my life. Youâre the love of my life. And if I lose you because of this, I will regret it for the rest of my life.â
Iris let out a sob, looking at the broken face of her best friend. This was her person, the very same she vowed to stand by for the rest of their lives. And in that moment, the anger washed away and she wanted nothing to bury herself in him, his familiar embrace.Â
She closed the gap between them with shaky legs and did just that. She found herself in his ready arms, holding her tight as his body quivered against her. She felt his gasp against her ear as his heart raced against her own. He sniffled as he whispered promising words of honesty and keeping her with him no matter what.Â
As Iris let herself drown in him, she vaguely thought of Eddie and how things had just gotten very, very complicated. Nothing would be the same from this moment on and she knew she had to be just as honest as she asked of Barry. The time would come, but for now, she would just stay right there in his arms.
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