
Kiana Khansmith
Claire Keane

Love Begins
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe

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Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
cherry valley forever

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@thervptured
To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You (2020) Dir. Michael Fimognari
Randomness From A Skype Group Chat {Sentence Starters}
❛❛ I am trash Satan. ❜❜
❛❛ Only ten alcohol per hour.❜❜
❛❛ Hello, jazz-hater. ❜❜
❛❛ Erase your own existence. ❜❜
❛❛ Stop leaving, you little punk. ❜❜
❛❛ Fuck you, Uncle Shady. ❜❜
❛❛ I JUST WANNA MAKE PUNS ❜❜
❛❛ That’s all he learned in juvie: how to fuck someone back to life. ❜❜
❛❛ How have you seen my ass? ❜❜
❛❛ Oh man, I’d love to die! ❜❜
❛❛ Bitch, I’m gonna smear blood on your motherfucking macaroni. ❜❜
❛❛ I feel like my cat is judging me right now. ❜❜
❛❛ When did wishing to die become such a casual topic in here? ❜❜
❛❛ I’m indifferent to cheerios. ❜❜
❛❛ Dying requires effort, for fucks’ sake. ❜❜
❛❛ MURDER IS PLANNED ❜❜
❛❛ Just laugh, I’m laughing about it now. I mean at the time I was crying, but I’m laughing now. ❜❜
❛❛ Reasons people should date me: there are no reasons, stay far away. ❜❜
❛❛ If Hagrid and Weird Al had a love child… it would be you. ❜❜
❛❛ Hey, bitch, tell me about your fourth cousin Jenny. ❜❜
❛❛ OMINOUS KAZOOING ❜❜
❛❛ Stop it, you’re gonna trigger T -Bag. ❜❜
❛❛ My arm is half-black. ❜❜
❛❛ You look like a shady drug dealer. ❜❜
❛❛ One time I was at the dentist’s office and this hot dude came in and my first thought was actually ‘DEATH STAR APPROACHING’. ❜❜
❛❛ My hair looks like Sonic the Hedgehog’s deformed pink cousin has been run over by a truck and used as a toupee. ❜❜
❛❛ Just take out the middle man and just die. ❜❜
❛❛ Screw joint weddings, hello joint funeral. ❜❜
❛❛ You might need to get me a bigger coffin. ❜❜
❛❛ I PUT THE ASS, SASS, AND SIN IN ASSASSIN ❜❜
❛❛ Would prison really be that bad compared to your work? ❜❜
❛❛ IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING DUCK I WILL STAB A HOE ❜❜
❛❛ I can die happy and in toasted cheese heaven. ❜❜
❛❛ I did not subscribe to bible meet ups. ❜❜
❛❛ I speak no bullshit, my potato friend. ❜❜
❛❛ Watch dumb teenage singing with me, ya’ll. ❜❜
❛❛ Yeah, no fluff in Prisneyland. ❜❜
❛❛ She is a sad smol murder bird and needs to be loved. ❜❜
❛❛ If I had feelings, I’d be offended. ❜❜
❛❛ We’re not naming our son Bear. ❜❜
❛❛ Shit, how do I go home and tell my wife that our adopted kid got eaten. ❜❜
❛❛ Give me your disorder, I’ll take it off your hands for you. ❜❜
❛❛ Murder is fun. It’s cheaper than divorce. ❜❜
❛❛ This is fox-kidnapping. Put the fox back. ❜❜
❛❛ The snail fucked off. ❜❜
❛❛ DAMN YOUR HOT SHADY ASS ❜❜
❛❛ STOP BEING LEPRECHAUN RACIST ❜❜
❛❛ I am going to murder myself with a kazoo. ❜❜
❛❛ Does Britain have its tea? Find out next week. ❜❜
❛❛ I leave to eat some goddamn bbq ribs and there is hell. ❜❜
❛❛ You’re about as angelic as Lucifer, don’t fool yourself. ❜❜
SENTENCE STARTERS FROM TIKTOKS ON MY FYP
“you would not believe the amount of rope burn i got today.” “you could do that the WHOLE TIME?” “WHAT THE FUCK? NO!” “are you HAUNTED? are you fucking POSSESSED?” “you like my wig?” “some see this glass as half full. some see it as half empty. but i see it as a piece of cake. *hits the glass with a knife*.” “the plague wasn’t your fault.” “i’m not a bottom, okay?? ..i’m american.” “what kind of bird does your dog eat?” “i have a camel and he eats humans.” “do you prefer to bathe in apple juice or orange juice?” “what is the ideal time to bake pencils?” “turn the strobe lights on!” “oh my goodness! it’s a pepperoni!” “we have a yard full of baby pictures and i really don’t know how to feel about this.” “ALIENS! ONCE AGAIN!” “you can’t kill people, it’s illegal.” “wake up you sexy bitch it’s time to sin.” “did any of you guys lose a sandwich?” “oh i’m sorry, i didn’t see you there, i was hooping.” “i didn’t think they made new episodes.” “welcome to the swamp!” “the one thing the stock market and i have in common is one day i’m doin’ great and the next day i’m doin’ even better, and then the last couple years everything has gone downhill.” “do i have three eyes? we’ll never know!” “whoever said money can’t buy happiness was so stupid!” “OH MY GOSH THAT’S RULE NUMBER SIX!!!” “it’s pretty bold of you little fucks to assume that i’m not god!” “wake up. V A P E!” “you know what makes my day? the earth’s rotation.”
( * &. – MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS.
‘ i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet. ’ ‘ i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife) ’ ‘ let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes. ’ ‘ blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical. ’ ‘ touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease. ’ ‘ call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me. ’ ‘ healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake. ’ ‘ me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess. ’ ‘ do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both ’ ‘ *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable. ’ ‘ my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight ’ ‘ quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever ’ ‘ date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places ’ ‘ any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind? you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it ’ ‘ i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them ’ ‘ *nervously calls crush bro* ’ ‘ i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues. ’ ‘ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ’ ‘ concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now ’ ‘ i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you. ’ ‘ i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy ’ ‘ why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni. ’ ‘ date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles ’ ‘ going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together. ’ ‘ we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking. ’ ‘ you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe. ’ ‘ one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them. ’ ‘ you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking ’ ‘ why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. ’ ‘ i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me. ’ ‘ *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay. ’ ‘ i like to blame myself for everything just in case. ’ ‘ the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word. ’ ‘ love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious. ’ ‘ i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break. ’ ‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone. ’ ‘ who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke. ’ ‘ i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you. ’ ‘ i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration. ’ ‘ me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare. ’ ‘ so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others. ’ ‘ my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning. ’ ‘ if you think i’m cute send me money. ’ ‘ one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry. ’ ‘ not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore. ’ ‘ there is no reason not to love with you whole heart. ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text. ’ ‘ ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful. ’ ‘ so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’ ‘ i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything. ’ ‘ yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff. ’ ‘ i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot. ’ ‘ let me show you just how good i can be. ’ ‘ i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am. ’ ‘ i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys. ’ ‘ i’m a snail and god is salting me. ’ ‘ i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die. ’ ‘ being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!??????? ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me. ’ ‘ i have hella heart eyes for you. ’ ‘ you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour. ’ ‘ it’s pretty iconic to like yourself. ’ ‘ i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life. ’ ‘ stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me) ’ ‘ i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one. ’ ‘ to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’. ’ ‘ i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor. ’ ‘ on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal. ’ ‘ let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours. ’ ‘ alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right. ’ ‘ tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot. ’ ‘ catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you. ’ ‘ smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness. ’ ‘ self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta. ’ ‘ you didn’t go through all of that for nothing. ’ ‘ get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie. ’ ‘ i wish i could be there to take care of you right now. ’ ‘ home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you. ’ ‘ i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities. ’ ‘ ok but platonic forehead kisses. ’ ‘ my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie. ’ ‘ what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately). ’ ‘ do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks. ’ ‘ life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep. ’ ‘ by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12? ’ ‘ cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part. ’ ‘ don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit. ’ ‘ there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you. ’ ‘ being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me? ’ ‘ if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck. ’ ‘ i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too. ’ ‘ my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr. ’ ‘ you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on. ’ ‘ don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight. ’ ‘ not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs. ’ ‘ it’s you. it will always be you. ’ ‘ why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me. ’ ‘ thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness. ’
“i don’t want to live in this city anymore.”
pulchratormentum:
…….
dena vc: let me teach you a thing or two about the anatomy of a vagina, sander. sit right here, and i’ll explain exactly how it fits.
sander vc: oh would you look at my wrist, it’s time to go. have a good evening, mrs. fontaine.
@mvnces asked: ❛ i want him to cum in my throat, snap my neck, and hide my body. ❜ - I can't tell if this would be jack with peach or cohen but ... rip to them
“how charming. and descriptive.” he’s not jealous. he’s not. leave him alone.
@mvnces asked: ❛ never have i wanted to be choked out so bad in my life. ❜ - jack with peach
“kid, you’ve got some issues.” peach is kinkshaming you, jack.
@littlebookstore asked: ❛ god is a woman. ❜ / for steinman from elizabeth!
“my own personal religious upbringing would suggest otherwise.. but given my own fondness for the goddess aphrodite, i must agree.”
pulchratormentum:
dena vc: yes, and? wait. oh- shut the fuck up, sander.
sander vc: i simply meant to extend my condolences to your poor.. vagina.
@mvnces asked: ❛ this is why they gagged him. ❜ - booker to peach, probably
“shoulda just cut ‘is tongue out. peachy’s seen it done before. didn’t look too hard. worst thing it can do is kill ‘im.”
pulchratormentum:
dena vc: why tf are you looking at me like that?
sander vc: you’re a very small woman.