Suzy. 30s. She/They. This was originally meant to be a place for my many thoughts about The Amazing Devil and also The Witcher, but turns out I have opinions about everything and they will NOT be contained. Profile pic is an original embroidery by the lovely @kell-be-belle 💜Go check out @kell-stitches for more of her amazing art!!!
Can someone please help me?? I’ve been thinking about this for MONTHS and the more I try to figure it out the more frustrated I get.
WHAT DOES THE LINE “‘Well hello my hollow Holofernes’/I wink but you don’t the joke,” MEAN???
The issue is not that I don’t know who Holofernes is! He’s this guy!
Biblical. Killed by a hot jewish widow for trying to force her people to worship some guy. Totally get it. But that does not???? Make that line make any more sense?
Is it a threat? Are they going to behead him?
Are they saying they’ve already removed his head and found it empty? Hence *Hollow* Holofernes?
Is it a reference to Dante’s Purgatorio? Are they saying he has too much pride?
WHO IS THE NEBUCHADNEZZAR IN THIS SITUATION?
I just. I have a lot of questions, and the more I think about this single line the less it makes sense.
Hi guys! I thought I should just share my whole mini little library of Project Hail Mary-related things so they're all in one place:
It includes:
A digital copy of the movie (with subtitles in 30+ languages via download)
My transcript of the movie (more on that here)
Audio recordings of the movie
A PDF of the book
An EPUB of the book (for e-readers)
The full audiobook
A copy of Andy Weir's doc on Eridians
A copy of Andy Weir's spreadsheet on Astrophage physics (among many other things!)
A draft of the screenplay for the film from 2022
An audio recording of the director's commentary
My transcript of the director's commentary
There is also a UHD copy (that's too big to fit in the drive) here!:
Securely store, share, and access your important files and photos. Anytime, anywhere.
Please note that because of the way that google drive works, some of the subtitles only work if you download the file yourself.
The audiobook, audio recordings, and commentary all have their properties programmed so they (should) work just like songs with a track number, album cover, artist, and so on if you download them.
There are two audios of the movie, one is the entire film untouched and one is that same audio cut up and broken down into separate scenes for convenience.
Additionally, there are two versions of the movie transcript, one with time stamps that match the audio recording and one without. The time stamps (+ their titles from the audio) are outlined in that version, so if you double-click on that tab or click "show outline," they'll all show up and you can pick a specific scene.
Similiarly, there are two different versions of the director's commentary transcript. The first is made to listen along to the commentary, while the second is more intended to be read on its own. The first is a direct transcription of everything that's said (an attempt, at least), while the second is slightly cleaned up for easier reading, meaning things like jumbled sentences and stuttering were removed or reorganised, but nothing has been actually paraphrased. Both are broken down into different scenes based on how their conversation goes, and the listening version includes timestamps.
The first few seconds of the commentary are missing unfortunately as my US friend who was kind enough to record it for me had some technical difficulties at the start, but the she paraphrased the part that was missed. The commentary starts at that first red shot of Ryland Grace's face in the coma suit 32 seconds into the digital copy.
There's also a google doc with some instructions to follow if any of the files aren't working, which usually happens when too many people try to access or download something at the same time.
As always, if anything's not working right or you notice any mistakes in anything, please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as I can!
I feel so many feelings about Rocky during the first contact. He wants to connect SO BADLY. Do Eridians have horror stories about scary aliens? If they do, Rocky doesn't care. He wants this alien to be friendly. He does everything he can to accommodate. Here, a little gift I'm sending your way at the speed you're comfortable with. Please be there. Here, the next gift is going right into your airlock so that it's easier for you to catch. Please don't fly away. You made a strange gesture with your limb, I'll make my robot make that gesture back. Please belive that I'm friendly. Here's a tunnel to connect us, I'll make sure you can breathe in it. Please come meet me. I'll let you choose the material for the wall separating us; I'll rebuild the whole wall if it makes you more comfortable, no trouble, just please let's talk. You're all alone on your ship, I can hear it, please come sleep here where I can watch you, it's unsafe for you to be alone. I'm alone and scared, it's been 46 years since I felt safe while sleeping, please please please watch me sleep too. I'm very vulnerable when I sleep and I trust that you won't use it against me. I want to visit your ship, am allowed, question? I'm moving in with you. Let's save the stars.
I made a cover and did css/html for @luulapants forrrr....
my momsold me to Scott Hunter, a Shane Hollander fanfiction
by luulapants
rpfactorfiction
Oh my god, I didn't know there were any copies of this left on the internet. For those who don't know, this is like. This is a foundational text of hockey RPF. This is from before hockey RPF was really a thing even. It's from the mid-aughts and wasn't posted to a fanfiction website. Instead, OP dropped this insane RPF manifesto onto a normal ass hockey fan forum (which no longer exists) then deleted their account like two days later. Just handed this to a bunch of jocks and hockey bros and dipped. Legendary shit. Like, I don't think this kid even knew what fanfiction was, the fucking hand of god just compelled him to write about being an MLH player's sex slave and show it to the world. I pray every day that this insane child actually made it to the MLH and got to meet Scott Hunter.
So maybe Shane had a little crush on Scott Hunter in his younger years. So maybe he anonymously posted online about it once. So maybe it had become an internet legend and a running joke in the MLH.
your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots (buck-pov followup to this; in which buck waits for eddie to wake up.)
There is blood on Buck's lips.
Nobody tells Buck about it in the ambulance with the screaming monitors or the rush of the hospital hall or the silence of the waiting room. Maybe they don't notice, but he sees it in the mirror, crimson dried down to burgundy at the inner corner of his lip. He presses his tongue to it and watches it disappear into his mouth, down his throat: copper and meat, communion wine and cracker, flesh and blood.
In the sink, blood diluted by water swirls down the drain, and Buck fights not to cup his palms, catch the remnants, tip it down his throat. He doesn't, because Chimney is waiting right outside the door, and Buck is pretty sure that he's due a mandatory psychiatric visit anyways but might as well not risk the extra note in his file.
Instead, he scrubs the blood out from the creases of his fingers, pink coming off in flecks. He doesn't bother with his nails, which are caked with blood on the inside like some sort of avant-garde nail polish. There's probably bits of Eddie's muscle caught in his cuticles, from when Buck had dug his nails into Eddie's wound, held it shut like he could will Eddie's body to keep his blood contained if only Buck was the one holding it in.
Buck should've drank from his wound, then. Should've bitten off a piece of muscle and kept it under his tongue, inside his body.
After all, it might be the only part of Eddie that he has left.
"Buck," Chimney says, which is when Buck realizes that he's been standing in front of a running sink for approximately many minutes too long. Buck blinks at his reflection in the mirror. Turns off the tap. Turns towards Chimney.
"Cap," he says, because he doesn't quite know how to be Chimney's brother right now, and because he misses Bobby with a sudden ache that feels like a bullet lodged in his own abdomen, a rupture of acid in his intestines. Last time, Bobby had helped him wash his hands. Last time, Bobby had helped Buck remember how to be a real person.
This time, Buck flexes his fingers, feels the blood and gristle still coagulated under his nails, and asks: "Any news?"
He must be performing some adequate simulacrum of a real person right now, because Chimney answers, even as his eyes stay worries. "They say it's mostly blood loss," he tells him. "You-- you did a good job. If he hadn't had that transfusion--"
The words don't finish. They don't need to. Something tugs at the bottom of Buck's stomach, making his lips twitch.
"Well," he says. "That's what I'm here for. Universal donor, right?"
Not the right words. Chimney looks more worried. Buck flicks through his mental rolodex. "What about 'Thena?"
That works. Chimney's eyes soften in relief, a breath in the midst of a battlefield. "Still stable," he says, and if Buck were a real person right now he would feel relieved. As is, he closes his eyes, turns down the static in his mind by a notch or two.
"Okay," he says. Then, again. "Okay."
---
Buck calls Christopher, because that is his job when Eddie is in the hospital. He tries to be more a person, for Chris, because he deserves more than whatever Buck is right now. He doesn't know if he succeeds.
Christopher insists on coming to the hospital. I need to see him, he'd said, stubborn in the way only a Diaz could be. Buck doesn't have the heart to refuse him.
He doesn't return to the waiting room after the phone call. Slips down the hall instead, following the trail of blood that still hasn't been cleaned up. He's careful not to smudge it with his feet, walking alongside the ghost of Eddie, hurt without Buck there to catch him in time.
He pauses in front of the chapel door. Pushes it open.
The pool of blood at the foot of the altar has congealed, soaked into the ground as if it were earth, soil, the kind of nature that did not discriminate when it came to consuming anything nourishing that it has been given. Buck walks up to the dark red on the ground, fights the urge to fold himself in the same place, let the dry blood peel onto his pants, soak into his skin, imprint into him the last memories of Eddie in this place, alive, unhurt.
Instead, he circles around the altar, looks across the length of the chapel: the empty pews, the wooden etchings, the trail of blood mapping out Eddie, before he fell into the elevator with Buck. He cannot feel the presence of a higher power here, because surely if there were, it would've protected Eddie from another bullet.
His fingers trace over the wooden podium, and he brings them up to his lips. He scrapes the blood and flesh from underneath his nails onto his tongue, the offering Eddie made at the foot of something that couldn't protect him.
Buck scrapes his blunt, clean nails across the altar, listens for the echoes of Eddie's prayers in the hall. He doesn't hear anything, but he doesn't need to. He knows what Eddie needs.
He wipes his fingers along his pants, checks that they're clean. He can't see Christopher with his father's blood under his nails.
---
Eddie is clean, when they see him in the hospital bed.
Christopher sits at his side, Buck an anchor at his shoulder. He takes Eddie's hand, and Buck remembers a smear of blood across his palm. The machines drone, proof of his life, and Chris watches them with a kind of scrutiny that comes with years spent in hospital rooms, a security that settles alongside knowledge that weighs too heavy for his years.
"Dad's gonna be alright," he says, steady conviction covering his fear. Buck rubs a clean thumb over the cotton over his shoulder, presses a kiss into unruly curls. Christopher leans into him, just a little. Buck holds him up, and is glad that Chris will not be stained with blood when he does.
"Yeah," he says, voice a little hoarse, copper-tang under his tongue. He clears his throat. "Yeah, superman, he will."
Christopher looks up at him, and there is trust in his eyes despite everything. "Are you going home with me and tia Pepa?"
Buck tucks him in closer, tender and adoring. "Not tonight," he says. "I'm gonna stay with your dad, in case there are any updates. Unless you need me."
Chris shakes his head. "You should stay with him."
After visiting hours, Buck sits at the edge of Eddie's bed alone, watches him breathe through a tube, condensation fogging the plastic. His bandages are pale white, his pallor stark. Buck's fingers twitch at his side, wants to peel the bandages from his skin. He thinks about blood flowing onto his fingers, into his palms, pressed on his lips. When he can see Eddie bleeding, he knows he's still alive.
"You dick," he says, running his fingers along Eddie's side instead, remembering pressing his fingers into the flesh, how easily Eddie opened under him, gave way for Buck to press pain and salvation into his skin. He held on too hard. He always holds on too hard. "Do you emit some kind of pheromone that attracts every gun in the greater LA area, or something?"
Eddie doesn't answer. Buck's fingers stop over his bandages. If a doctor or nurse came in, they would tell him to be more gentle. Buck presses in instead, just a little, just to feel the flash-warmth of his skin, the faint impression of a pulse. Eddie's face remains slack, his lashes still. When Buck removes his hand, there isn't a trace of him left behind.
"I keep-- uh, I keep thinking," he says, watching him, watching him, watching him. "I gave you my blood." Enough that by the time the elevator doors opened, Hen had needed to support Buck when he'd stumbled to his feet. Enough that he'd needed a transfusion himself, at first. "I should be able to -- to feel it, shouldn't I? I should be able to feel you. Or you should be able to feel me."
He touches the delicate inner skin of Eddie's wrist, feels the rush of his pulse. Maybe it's in time with Buck's. Maybe this is why Buck can't be a real person yet, because he passed the realest parts of himself into Eddie's veins.
"I'll give you more, Eddie," he says, despite that. "Anything, everything. Just-- you just have to wake up, okay? Just wake up, for me."
Eddie doesn't speak. Buck brings up his hand, presses his lips to the steady beat of his thrumming vein. If he opened his lips, he could press his teeth there, break his skin, drink him down until he is kept safe inside of Buck.
He doesn't. He's gentle. He just presses his mouth to the faint salt and antiseptic tang of Eddie's skin until the edges of his skin flush violet, blood rushing to the surface to be near Buck, alive, alive, alive.
Buck closes his eyes. Eddie lays still beneath him, dreaming, Buck's blood in his veins. Buck memorizes the rhythm of his breaths, the warmth of his skin, and keeps the pulse against his tongue until it feels like his own.
no listen. listen to meeeeee. buddie in the field blood transfusion is the next natural step for them. other than you know kissing sloppy style and fucking raw. whatever. BLOOD TRANSFUSION. they would get off on this so, so bad. after they're both fine. but also during, when they're Not. eddie is literally suffering from blood loss, forcing himself to stay conscious to talk buck through this transfusion. and despite this. the literal blood loss. he's still like, fuck. buck. this is—i don’t think it's supposed to feel like this. he says this out loud, accidentally. and buck's panicking, like. am i doing it wrong????? eddie????? and eddie's like. no, no it's working. it's just—and he lets out a little sound that could be. probably is. should be. a groan of pain, on account of his injuries. but. uh. Well. it sounds like something else. and he feels a little—well. he can literally feel where buck's blood is entering his veins right now. and it's A Lot. (later he will tell himself he was just delirious. from the blood loss). meanwhile buck is out of his head crazy beside himself, talking a million miles an hour to try and keep eddie conscious. but also he can’t stop staring. at the blood. in the tube. his blood. flowing into eddie. and eddie makes that sound. like a groan. and buck feels his skin heat up and a breathless gasp leave his mouth and it's—probably just the adrenaline, right? he's amped up. because of the adrenaline. yeah. has to be that.... anyway later. when they're fine. and they're having like, an erotically charged moment. on account of eddie almost dying and the whole. blood thing. eddie says, you're in my veins. almost sort of, like he’s admitting something. and buck gets so hard so fast it's insane. says, yeah... and eddie's like, is it— swallows. steps closer. is it crazy that this morning i nearly bit into my own lip to try and. taste you. and buck's like, jesus christ, eddie. and eddie's like, fuck. yeah. that's—crazy. God. uh—sorry. and buck's like, no. no!!! it's not crazy, it's—i want that. too. i—eddie. and eddie's eyes go dark and he just. bites down into his lip. and buck lets out a gasp. a whimper. watches the blood bloom. and now they're like, a breath away. and they're both shaking. and eddie's tongue is running over his lip. over—their blood. and he's like, kiss me. and buck's like, half-delirious with want, what? and eddie's like, kiss me, buck. and buck does. and he's tasting eddie's blood again except it's not just eddie's this time. it's theirs
I have been LONGING for Eddie to walk Buck through field surgery *on Eddie* for my entire life, and now it feels within my grasp, and I'm so afraid I won't get my deepest wish.
Eddie, struggling to talk through the pain and the blood loss. Buck, panicked but determined and locked in to save. his. guy. Eddie directing Buck. Buck with his fingers inside Eddie's body. DO YOU SEE THE VISION?!
queer muppet moments i would make happen if i was in charge of the muppets:
the electric mayhem (minus animal bcs hes their kid) arent a polycule, theyre monogamous. but specifically they break up and date each other one at a time. they have a chart.
animal is genderfluid. this is mentioned exactly once bcs kermit calls her he and she starts yelling "SHE/HER!" kermit corrects himself and the show goes on
rizzo made out with gonzo once but he still considers himself straight bcs gonzo is not a guy, he's a whatever. gonzo agrees with this
uncle deadly dated tim curry. it did not end well.
actual emotional scene of gonzo talking about how he feels abt gender. no jokes.
kermit: no matter what, gonzo is still gonzo, and we're always going to support gonzo no matter what gonzo decides- gonzo: kermit. i still use he/him
statler and waldorf wedding episode. theyre divorced by the next
beaker trying to ask bunsen out on a date. in the end it turns out bunsen thought they'd been dating for years.
miss piggy hanging out with drag queens
related, miss piggy starting to present butch and kermit being Really Into It. hes embarassed abt it
pepe begins a story with "when i was a little girl...."
janice decides to start using just she bcs "like, i could never be her"
rowlf mentions having a husband. even kermit is like "??? since when??!"
actually i change my mind. genderfluid animal is mentioned a second time when dr teeth is calling for instrument and mic checks, he turns to animal and yells "animal! pronoun check!" "HE/HIM" "alright!"
"#'old religion' they said. and then simply said nothing of a new religion" yeah Uther Pendragon, noted athiest. Entirely agnostic court. It's crazy that there's no belief system backing anything up. Like, we're going to get by on vague prophecies but also prophecies are magic which is evil. Divine right of kings but no divinity. Mirrors and mirrors but no windows.
What if Hannibal or Will got permanently injured from the fall? Have you considered that? What if the fall had consequences on their bodies and they both had to come to terms with the fact that nothing can ever play itself entirely according to plan, even when the plan has previously been stricken and revised? What if Hannibal shatters his legs on a rock & passes out, and Will has to return the favor of carrying him to safety? How would Hannibal feel if Will obtained a TBI and the rhythm of their conversations had to change? What if Hannibal's memory palace suddenly replaced its stairs with ramps?
I don't think this shot was random. It could've depicted them returning from school or grocery shopping, but no.
Will's main hobby is fishing, his memory palace is a stream, he imagines fishing with Abagail, teaching her like a father would -yet he doesn't go fishing with his family?
Of course, we don't know if he did at any point during his life there, but this shot symbolizes that now that he does have a son, he doesn't go with him. He stayed home with his dogs, fixing some damn barn door that probably didn't even need fixing.
