I fell down and my fears were erased

Sarah Devin. 22 years. Journalism major at CCSU!

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Thats one gorgeous ring! Congratulations! Are you planning it all by yourself? I’m sure it will all go smoothly.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

Sarah put down her pen. “No thats true. I just find that its easier to write a good paper if I’m writing about a topic or at least a book I am passionate about or love in a certain way. Often makes you think outside the box too because you know the story so well that you don’t have to be concerned with absorbing it as it is, but rather look at it in a bigger context.” She had no idea why she was sounding somewhat argumentative but then, their majors were similar so it was easy to get engaged. “Such faith huh?” Sarah mildly teased. It was actually kind of nice, being told by someone else that you were going to be, as said, just fine. 

[msharmonyjones-blog]

I just realized how fast the wedding is creeping up on me.

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Wedding?? You’re getting married?” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“There’s always something to wish for. Well I would tell you but then I’m scared it won’t come true.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Alright Noah! You can do this.” She gave him an encouraging smile, relieved to hear that he was taking steps for himself to move on. Besides Sarah firmly believed such an act could be very cathartic. Cleansing in a way. 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“I was thinking of a wish actually.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“No I very much prefer that you have lots of game and no shortage of humor, or reservations about pulling your girlfriends leg. As long as you expect the same in return that is.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Yes, Mr Awesome. By all means, do not hold back. Technically, sure, but its very un-guy like of you. Or you’re teasing me. Can’t always tell.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Entirely depends on the situation. Luckily for you I mostly find that confidence charming. Now who said we couldn’t discuss those things?” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

bold what applies to your muse.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

class or caste: upper / middle / working / slave / unsure.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children / has no children / wants children.  

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased.

orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unempathetic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between

loyal / disloyal / in between.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

BELIEFS:

monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic.

belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in an afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in aliens: yes  / no / don’t know / don’t care.

religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious.

philosophical: yes / no.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes  / frequently / to excess.

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Apparently not cause I just did. Just pizza huh? Well I’m relieved to hear that modesty is still intact. Pretty sure its now part of my job description to make sure.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“So are you gonna make a wish or burn some shit?” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Maybe it was about time. Thought I’m sure they could be put to much better use elsewhere.” 

[keatonchadwell]

“Dammit, why can’t I do it? The dude on the Pursuit of Happyness made it seem so easy to play with a Rubik’s Cube.

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“Think you might need a bigger cube. Sad to say it but those giant hands are not gonna solve it.” She teased. 

[fightingella]

Daddy Issues

[thesarahdevin-blog]

Sarah knew she couldn’t fully understand. Her parents had been shitty, selfish people, but it had never gotten so bad that she had felt compelled to run away. Then again her parents could only be accused of neglect, not abuse. At first, she hadn’t been sure. Ella was a hard person to read, an even with her opening up and talking, she was still good at being vague. But after a while Sarah had seen it, put the pieces of the puzzle together. In a way that made hem closer, made Sarah feel like the brunette beside her was one of the very few people she could trust, on of the few who could understand what she herself had been trough. But at the same time, she hated knowing that a parent could hurt his child this way. He wasn’t even present, and he was still hurting her. Realizing that she was leaning in, rather than pulling away from her hand, a flash of surprise flit across Sarah’s face. She took it as a sign that what she was doing was okay, and so she kept brushing her hand lightly trough Ella’s hair. 

“Yes you do. Even if its only anger, or hate, thats still emotions. Whatever you are feeling Ella, its okay to feel it. It is.” The easiest thing to do was beat yourself up for small moments like these. For feeling things you shouldn’t, or didn’t want to. “But you know I’m not going to push you to talk about it.. just, I’m here if you want to.” Sarah couldn’t help the gentleness. It was just there, reserved for the few people she cared about. “Okay.” 

[thesarahdevin-blog]

“I figured. Well, for my sake, no. But or the sake of my boyfriend I would say yes. Not sure how he would feel about you parading around like that with me present.” 

[fightingella]

Daddy Issues

[thesarahdevin-blog]

As always when Sarah wanted to comfort someone, her first instinct was to draw them close, or stroke their hair or hold their hand. She could never quite tell when this was alright by Ella or not. Certain situations allowed her to slip past that barrier the other girl so fiercely maintained. Still right now she found it incredibly hard not to do any of those things. Her friend was in pain, which automatically meant that she was in pain for her. Very carefully Sarah reached out to stroke a lock of Ella’s hair, just once. She wondered what this would mean. Ella wasn’t a minor, she was financially independent and luckily, miles away from her father. He couldn’t reach her here. But somehow, it seemed like he had. 

Watching her shoulders move Sarah bit her lip a little. She remembered reading about her own parents when she was over seas. Her dads political career, her mother mentioned as the ‘supportive wife’. It all had made her scoff and throw each paper in the trash the second she’d read trough it. “He probably does. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t feel something about it either.” The brunette spoke softly. “You know that connection is always going to be there. God only knows how nice it would be not to feel tied to parents at all but I don’t know if thats possible.”