theserpnt is a literate, semi-selective lucifer morningstar from hazbin hotel written by beck ( 21+, they/them ). following the themes of the ultimate fall from grace, welcoming yourself to your own cage, and redemption in more ways than one.
@theserpnt asked:
"hey, bellhop." lucifer approached, looking an odd mix of reluctant and curious as he eyed the other. "i just heard a rumor about you." cue a dramatic pause, hopefully something to get alastor's attention more than his initial greeting. "word on the street is you know how to cook? really well, apparently..?"
Alastor's head turned away from the window he'd been staring out at, seemingly intent on looking out over the city. He sighed, coarse and short as he regarded Lucifer, the upper half of his face flat... and then distinctly not. What in the seven hells could he actually want to know that for?
"Oh. Yes, I do. Why? Are you throwing another party? I don't do catering you know~"
while he'd taken on a menagerie of hobbies during his lengthy lifetime, cooking was something lucifer had stuck with and was distinctly proud of. "ha. no, actually. i was just curious because..." he scoffed, rolling his eyes even though alastor hadn't even said anything offensive. truthfully, he was annoyed at himself. "i haven't exactly made most of what you have. do you have like... recipe cards or something i can see?"
⛧ if you'd like a short starter in your inbox, like this post! doesn't matter if we're old or new mutuals, have ten things going or none. 99% of my drafts are multipara and while a ho loves to write, a ho is multitasking and could use some short one-off threads for the day until they can focus later on tonight v.v
"You are only perceiving it as rude because I am the one who happened to notice, You Highness." The stag spoke, head tilting to the side. They'd had their quarrels, certainly. However, Alastor never exactly desired any. It would be foolish, non?
"If you must know, I do~ Just as anyone else. But it would seem that you were not aware. It is called chronic insomnia, Your Highness~"
"eh, you're not wrong." lucifer normally would've found some excuse to be more antagonistic, but fatigue was one hell of an anger killer. he just didn't have the energy today to be fighting. not at full force, anyway.
"weird, but i suppose it makes sense. wouldn't be hell if you didn't suffer sleep deprivation too. it's the lit-er-al worst." he sighed and pressed fingertips to his temple as if warding off a headache. "what's your problem with insomnia, anyway? you need to run around like a dog or something to let off loose energy or what?"
"... what, really?" well, he hadn't expected that. "i'm not boo'ing the couples that are into that, but..." lucifer narrowed his eyes a bit, holding onto one of cain's hands firmly now. "not a soul comes to mind i would want to share you with, soooooo... no?"
" Hahaha! I refuse to shackle myself to the mind rotting digital prison that is known as modern technology. " Alastor was way too stubborn to get with the times but he could understand why it would have been difficult to find a decent photo of him. " You may rot your brain all you wish though. "
" It definitely would be, wouldn't it? " Alastor looked between the blindfold and pin for a moment only to shrug his shoulders. While it may have had his imagery, he saw no real reason to turn the offer down. " I suppose that I could entertain you for a bit since it is your birthday and all. "
"you can just say you don't like fun and leave it at that, you know." lucifer rolled his eyes. "sinstagram is great for looking at cute photos and— actually, nevermind. i feel like it's explaining to a wall." he wasn't going to waste his time, especially when alastor actually agreed to the game.
"alright, red guy!" the devil grinned, shoving the items at the other before he could change his mind. "you can put the blindfold on yourself, but no cheating or using your freaky powers to find the..." what was it called? goal? "you know what i'm getting at. don't be too disappointed when i beat you at this."
"... was that an intentional double entendre? it was pretty good if so." he huffed a little, but then smiled at the kiss nonetheless. "i guess that means the answer to my 'can we have a third' question is no," lucifer teased, not at all intending to ask such a thing.
"FUCK PLEASE...I do want more then your mouth. God Lucifer I just wanna fuck you all the time. I think your body way too much. I have such strong desire for you. I have control myself around you." He attempted to being beast in heat around his partner as his manhood twitched happily for him leaking some sweet pre-cum just for Lucifer throat as he sucked on it. "AHHH FUCK..." He moaned deeply as put his hand on the back of Lucifer head.
lucifer bobbed his head a few times before lifting it with a slight pant, smirking up at the other. "you're so greedy... not that i'm against it." truthfully, he wanted the same thing, but he liked to tease jovanni and drag things out a bit just to frustrate him. he kept his hand slowly moving around him as his voice lowered. "you want me to ride you right on this couch? that's what i want. i want to kiss you as i feel myself sink down, to feel you in me again."
The happiest chirr noise at the bite, before Cain buried his face into Lucifer's neck and made another bite "Mhmm~ Mine~" He was going to enjoy the shit outa this....
"Yours..~"
he jumped a bit, immediately giving a nervous chuckle as his face grew warm. "whoa there— i don't mind the bites, but just be careful where if you're not trying to start something." lucifer turned his head to give the other's cheek a kiss. "and yours. i'm here if you ever need a little reminder~"
Vox stepped back enough just to ensure the king didn't make contact with his screen in anyway, managing to balancing him by grabbing onto his shoulders and setting him back on his feet. He immediately moved his hands afterwards, knowing better than to test his luck with the king of Hell of all people. He clasped his hands together and offered him a polite smile.
"Congratulations, your majesty, and happy birthday! Thank you for letting me attend such a special occasion. And no need to apologize for the lateness, it is your birthday, after all!"
lucifer blinked for a moment, but then quickly brushed off the helpful contact to smile instead, seeing as vox was now one more person he'd invited who made it. "thanks for that. and thanks for the birthday wishes! i'm happy you made the time."
of course weekends were cherished by all, and it meant a lot that people decided to show. he wouldn't have blamed anyone for deciding to take a lazy day instead. "oh, please. i can't be one of those people who gets away with everything because of my birthday... right? or can i." he pretended to think before shrugging. "we'll see! in the meanwhile, do you like chocolate cake?"
He smiled at him saying yet. "I would love to cook with you. Maybe we make pancakes. Pancake are always fun for breakfast." He beamed happily. "We can snuggle in bed and then wake up for breakfast. You can tell me your favorite thing to put in pancakes." He was pretty happy with how everything turned out.
"pancakes sound perfect! they're actually my specialty," he smiled even more, stepping better under the water to rinse off so they could get out of the shower. the exhaustion from their time spent together was starting to finally hit, and lucifer had to hold back a yawn. "i'll tell you in the morning. gotta keep a little mystery, you know? are you a coffee or tea kinda guy? the towels are right over there, by the way."
"claim?" lucifer's eyebrows raised, before he smirked. "ohh, don't tell me you're getting all flustered now~ it's fine, i like it. just wasn't sure what you were going for." he pulled cain down to playfully bite his shoulder back. "now we're even, and you're mine too."
"Of course for you." Alastor said and was glad to hear that the other had been having a good time. A shame he missed most of it but he was here now. He chuckled at the huff about the puzzle box. "Magic would ruin the feeling of accomplishment when you solve it. But if I made it too tricky I'll help you." The stag said and happily accepted another kiss, letting this one linger a little longer.
Then pulled back he tilted his head curiously. "A what now?" He questioned and looked over at the piñata being set up. "I'll join you with the beating of this thing to acquire sweets." Alastor said with a chuckle.
"i'll accept help if i can't get it after a while, but i'd like to try first. i'm sure i can get it. would be more of an accomplishment like you said," he smiled after the kiss, before gesturing to the giant papier-mâché apple starting to be hung up at the question with his free hand. "a piñata! it's a human thing. usually you get blindfolded when you try to whack it open, but you don't have to be if you don't want to."
he wasn't sure if alastor would be comfortable with that, so he wanted to give him an easy out. "i did use a little magic to make it stronger though considering, ya know. some of us here have an unfair advantage." as lucifer waited for an answer, he glanced down and touched some of the rose petals carefully, still smiling wide.
due to his prior visit, lucifer was able to send the invitation directly to the duo in the train car under the surface. it arrived in a puff of red smoke in a bright yellow envelope with a sticky note attached to it, appearing suddenly in the wires along the top and getting tangled therein due to slight miscalculation on the devil's part. 'for you both!' the note read. there was a little doodle of a birthday cake with a smiley face as well.
unprompted // @theserpnt
Approximately three days after the party, a letter and a wrapped box arrive at Lucifer's door. The letter reads,
Lucifer-
I regret to inform you that Anomaly and I are unable to attend the party (as I am sure was already noted, by our absence). Anomaly is not so much a fan of crowds, you understand! (Don't tell them I said that!) We are sending this gifts, our best regards, and of course, a wish for a happy birthday!
-Dr. Carrard
Within the wrapped box there are an assortment of items. A loaf of fresh bread wrapped neatly in plastic, a sticker booklet full of bird themed stickers, and a gift card to the shitty diner he and Anomaly first met in with "lol" written on it in black sharpie.