TheShadowDominant

Irish based Dominant, Mid 40’s with 20 years experience. My page will have images I like in the likes sections and my own writings and pictures that really stand out to me in the main section. Please feel free to comment t or message me with views or questions.

[theshadowdominant]

Let’s start with images that resonate best with me as a Dom. This one just jumps off the page for me. It says so much with so little.

She’s in white and he in black. He’s shown as the devil/demon and her an angel or virgin yet she’ll willingly going up stairs to prepare for him. She knows it will be dark and hard and painful and even humiliating but she still does this.

She will tell him she does it for him but actually she has had these desires and dreams since she was a young girl. They brought her shame and fear and misery and it’s only by meeting him that she is absolved of all that.

This is her coming of age, her journey begins.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2025

[mandy69mistress]

[theshadowdominant]

Here is a thought?

Why should she be reminded of these? She should have a code she lives by to serve. This code is not set and driven by the Dom. The sub should do this and the Dom should just hold her to his standards.

#TheshadowDom - June 2026

[dd-fi-scotland-v4]

[theshadowdominant]

This for me is just perfect.

Her pose and stillness. She is confident in her body and sits still even while being touched.

He is fully clothed and there is such a message in him bother and her naked.

It brings me back to how a submissive needs to look to move to sexy and not just sexual (all subs are very sexual by nature)

Being sexy starts with body confidence. Now not all subs are body confident. In fact most aren’t but you must get to a point where you understand that he desires you and has now issue with the flaws she thinks she has (many of which she doesn’t have ).

For a sub she needs to learn to become sexual. It’s her goal and the journey she’s taking. I’ve realised that very few of my subs have got there.

Are you sexy? Do you even know what that looks like?

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[theshadowdominant]

This is a simple yet telling image.

For me it says so much yet it is so simple.

Let’s start with what she’s wearing. Lately with my engagement with others on the community we have discussed sexual v sexy and how a submissive dresses.

What I have realised is all submissives are sexual. Deep seated desires to serve and be lead. Dark dreams from early teens about kidnap rape and torture that haunted them till they found the Dom to guide them and help them realise they aren’t broken.

Above she’s in a dress. Why a dress? It shows her curves. It gives her easy access for him. It gains the attention of other men and women. For most aeons these are key elements but also it takes effort and a lot more than jeans and a hoodie. She has to be groomed and her hair done. Effort in the details is what defines a submissive.

Now look at how she’s knelt. Is she kissing or licking his shoes? If she’s not it’ll take nothing for her to do that. Her body is as submissive as possible. She knows it’s his choice what he does and she does not endure, she comes alive.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[theshadowdominant]

The sadist Dom. He derives pleasure from seeing the fear and helplessness in his sub.

Her trust in him drives him into a battle to push further but always take care of her.

She wants to be here. Freezing water. Fear of drowning. His calm voice while he plunges her head under water for longer and longer. When she emerges he asked deep questions and if he doesn’t like the answer he sends her under the water to get some clarity of mind.

She is terrified yet trusts him and boy is she turned on. She wants more darker and deeper. She wants these events to prove to herself her guy was correct that this one is a good one. This one heels her precious trauma from bad men and fake Doms.

Subs remember. It’s your role to push and drive just as much and to understand that doing this takes a toll on your dark but calm dom.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[painisasignoflife]

It is important that it learns what pain is and how to handle it.

[theshadowdominant]

If you have read my blog you’ll see I’ve sometimes struggled when I see what I consider to be over the top pain handed out to women but then I started to see it was not my place to judge if it was something they both wanted.

That brings me to the above. Did I enjoy watching it? Overall no. Yes it plucks at some primal chords inside me but overall I didn’t enjoy it and I think I know why.

There is a lack of emotional intelligence and class behind how it’s handed out. It’s abuse not discipline. There is no calm communication. There is not aftercare.

These things differentiate average from world class. Don’t be average.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[jayce0927]

[theshadowdominant]

The above can be read in many way.

You hear phrases like “nice guys finish last” and “she always chases the bad eggs”

What I have noticed more so is women desire a man who other women desire or want.

If a woman is competing with another woman her man becomes desirable to her.

If a man is desired by more than One woman or is know to have had plenty of women then other women will seek him out and desire him.

What is left to happen is how that comes about. The art of the approach by men to women has been lost. The masculine in men has been beaten out of them and I my those few left know how to do this with class and style.

These men are the pure dominants. The ones whose presence are felt when they walk into a room. The ones whose eye contact catches attention.

These men are, whether you like it or not predators. Their prey is women who are sexy and sexual, many of these women have yet to explore this and men like this have the keys to the castle here.

Are you this man? Do you feel this as a woman when you come across such a man?

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[photog678]

[theshadowdominant]

There is a massive difference being sexual and sexy.

Most, if not all submissives are sexual but very few are sexy.

Is it something you either have or don’t or, can it be learnt?

In my view some women have it naturally and some improve on it. The must have to be define body confidence/comfortable within one’s skin. You’d be surprised how many submissive woman are not comfortable in their skin and weirdly it’s usually the less attractive ones that have more body confidence.

They own their flaws and you perfections and realise the most important fact there is.

As for learning this skill. The irony is women usually are more body comfortable in their 40’s than 20/30’s but believe me life is too precious to be tied up in towed you think you have that men will never see.

If a man has decided to fuck/date/dominate you then he is most likely very aware of your flaws. I can walk into a room with 10 fully clothed women and wiring 3 seconds tell you

- what each looks like naked

- who is comfortable within their skin.

- who’s sexual.

Am I alone in this skill? I think not. Am I better and more in tune with this skill. Yes I am

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[professorx2]

[theshadowdominant]

I’m starting this writing not knowing where it will end up. Let’s start with questions.

- Submissives, do you always give 100% to your dom. How you serve, suck, kiss, do tasks?

- do you step up and lead for your dom when he has fatigue either in life or as a Dom?

- When you have found he needle in a haystack that is your Dom who doesn’t use your desires as a way to gaslight or hurt you, are you out ahead thinking of ways to consume him and keep his interest

From experience I know very few subs are always giving their all or looking to step up and take the reins for their dom. This to me is moving from good sub to world class sub. Making sure:

- You are always giving your all.

- That your mind is open to try things.

- That you endure when he needs to be dark.

I talked with another world class Don today who has this issue and advised him to bring in another sub and when his sub goes on auto pilot my advice was sit her in a stress position and have her watch the new sub get what she so desires. This would very much keep her on her toes

If you want a world class Dom then be world class yourself.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2016

[theshadowdominant]

I’ve recently chatted to some other subs around the world and a few things keep coming up.

There are so many submissive women out there trying to find their way through the shame of their desires and seeking direction and guidance safely yet discreetly. How to explore this and who to explore it with is such a minefield for both Doms and Subs but we all know it’s more dangerous for women. Now it can be tough for the Dom/man because just like BDSM attracts dangerous men it also attracts unstable women but perhaps that’s for a different days discussion.

Masochism is a legit and far more popular desire for women than anyone realises but the world and society isn’t a safe place for women to be open about this. They will be judged and ridiculed and even accused of betraying the new womens empowerment movement but it can also be dangerous for their health again if the meet the wrong men

Finally, the real and authentic Doms need to lead this conversation and open the door for women to discuss their masochistic desires. It could be as a simple as saying “I have sadistic desires but only when the women is a masochist. Have you such desires”. This allows her step into the space and discuss but also doesn’t mean it’s a deal breaker if she’s not into it

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[theshadowdominant]

There is such a valuable lesson here and let you me tell you about my learning on this.

Have I judge pics here as o well harsh or violent or degrading? Yes and even looking at them is uncomfortable however some of my darker desire would horrify most of the vanilla world. In my head I am telling them not to judge me yet I judge others the same.

What am I talking about? For me personally I have struggled when I see the marks and welts as excessive or the humiliation is super dark. Similarly I have no interest in binding of boobs and immediate concern is the subs long term health.

The thing is. It’s not about my opinion. It’s about what the submissive desires and wants and what the Dom is happy to inflict.

Consent supersedes it all and we’d all do well to remember this.

In the end it’s about exploring and growth and pushing boundaries. Communication around this makes it all easier to explore.

#TheShadowDominant - June 2026

[theshadowdominant]

Has it changed you in any negative ways?

Has being a Dom changed me?

[theshadowdominant]

Sorry, I dont understand. Why encourage your sub to meet other Doms that may be selfish or don't understand how to make them feel safe?

My subs have learnt to spot good and bad doms. In many cases I talk to their potential doms to ensure I am happy with them

[theshadowdominant]

Permission to go off script this evening a little (well no I’m not asking. I never ask permission)

Above is a pic of Kylie (who most know) and Michael Hutchins (lead singer of INXS) who those who are younger may not know.

He was the last real sex symbol fronting a rock band in the Jim Morrison mould.

Anyway, why am I writing and what’s the point. Kylie has a documentary on Netflix which is really more about her and Michael than just her. Some great points come from it.

Michael may not have been a Dom but he had massive Dom energy and did what all world class Doms do and took her in a journey to help her find her true self and potential.

Kylie was devastated and never really got over the loss of their relationship and then his death. What is equally worth noting is how ruthlessly she dropped her bf Jason Donovan who probably mourned the loss of Kylie as much as she did break up with Michael.

My last point is how young people don’t seem to realise how powerful first love is and how it will most likely never leave them.

Happy for anyone to comment on this.

-TheShadowDom - May 2026

[theshadowdominant]

As a sadist the darkness as I call it needs to build and that’s certainly been the case of late.

This image perfectly sums it up for me. Firstly I’m growing to like whips and I like to impact the back as well as the ass. You can also see here he has clearly bitten her also.

These desires and building and the calm violence will come out soon

- TheShadowDom - May 2026

[whipmaster1980]

Love the old ways

Sometimes, the old ways are the best ways.

[theshadowdominant]

If you follow you’ll see it’s been a while. Sometimes inspiration doesn’t come and as I said I get mine from picture but this one……

It jumpe out at me. He feels dark. She’s not done anything to deserve punishment but she knows when he needs it she needs to be the canvas he paints on.

He is careful not to go into a dom space as such and unleash too much on her but he will leave her marked and she will feel this for days to come

#Theshadowdom - May 2026

[a-new-hope-1975]

[christinered]

I Think Every Penis Should Make Lightsaber Noiises

[theshadowdominant]

This is a little more lighthearted than most of my posts but there is a hidden meaning in here.

When you touch your man or grab his cock take it with confidence like you own it. Grip it tight and let him know how you desire him.

- TheShadowDom - May 2026