STOP. DON'T SCROLL. READ THIS TO SAVE LIVES IN GAZA. Below are some VETTED campaigns to support Gazans. These people have been experiencing an active genocide for almost a full year. Donate and share widely.
(may 27th)
Save a displaced Gazan Family (@ranibra) - Rania is married with five children, her husband needs medical care. She is now responsible to save her children. Help them evacuate.
Support Fahmi and his family (@fahmiakkila) - Fahmi's life has been turned completely upside down, and he now finds himself responsible to save his parents, sisters, & brothers - 7 members.
Save the Maliha family (@dinamaliha) - Dina wants to save her mother, two sisters, and three brothers. The family lost contact with their father when the genocide started. They desperately need to get to Egypt.
Save Firas' family (@firassalemnewacccount @prosolitudeeee) - Firas is a father of two children, a 10-month-old boy and a two-year-old girl, who are in need of safe haven in Egypt.
Help Husam and his family (@husamthaher) - Husam desperately needs to save himself, his wife, and 3 young children.
Help Nader's family to evacuate from Gaza (@nadershoshaa) - Nader and his family, consisting of six members, are currently displaced in the south; help them evacuate and survive.
The Shamaly family wants to survive (@daee571989) - Help save 15 kids and their family, who are living a horrifying active genocide.
Ahmd needs urgent evacuation (@ahmd-iyd) - Ahmd has lost his livelihood to this genocide, and needs funds to help his family evacuate and rebuild their life.
Help evacuate Hani's family (@skatehani) - A dear friend, and a Palestinian skater trying to evacuate 10 members of his family; he has lost his father to injustice.
Help Iman’s family find safety (@imaneyad) - Iman has a family of 7 who need to find safety.
Help save Youssef's family (@bba3lo @mahmoud7878) - Ahmed Baalousha wants to save his wife, his two sons, his daughter, as well as his parents and siblings.
Support Ruba and Amal's family's urgent evacuation (@rubashaban @amalshabn) - Ruba and Amal's family are lacking the basic necessities of life; they have an elderly father who desperately needs to be evacuated for medical care.
Save little Yusuf and his family (@ahmednabubake) - Yusuf is in an intensive care unit fighting for his life in Gaza; he needs urgent evacuation alongside his family.
Help Omar evacuate (@omarsobhi) - Omar is a 20 year old Palestinian student who wants to save himself and his family from this genocide.
Help Belal and his family to evacuate from Gaza (@alaajshaat) - Belal has lost too much to this war and needs to support himself and his family.
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Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,7k words)
Author's note: Pls send my birthday wishes to your boyfriend. As always, enjoy and feel free to vent in my inbox :)
CHRIS: Nah, I wouldn't say I'm a playboy [shyly laughs] My best feature? My body [Shows off abs] I'm joking, [laughs] it's my dimples [smiles] I don't have a type. Looks are relative but there has to be a strong physical attraction [Smiles]
-
In this sunny weather, it wouldn't take long for Chan to get some color on his pale skin.
A little tan will help to make his sculpted abs more defined, especially on camera. He's been working out diligently to present his best look for this show.
Lust Island.
What possibly could this show be about? If he should draw any clues from the name of the show itself, he guesses there'll be physical contact involved in a pleasurable way.
The real reason he joined the show is not solely that he wants to get some action. He can get them anytime, anywhere when he wants to.
Bangchan wants to put himself out there and explore things outside of producing music. He wants to push himself out of his comfort zone. By comfort zone, he means his studio.
Once Bangchan puts his swimming trunks on though, he prepares himself, mentally and physically as his name gets called. It's his turn to enter the villa.
When he thinks about it again, it's not the first time he gets to be filmed, and being in front of the camera, there's no use for him to be nervous.
Bangchan laughs at his cowardly thought and puts on a perfect posture, standing straight and broadening his shoulders that are as wide as the Pacific Ocean.
Bangchan is right to be confident about himself because the girls like what they see when he walks in.
There are four of them waiting by the standing table with bottles of champagne in buckets of ice.
The other male guests are no competition to him, a few inches of height difference is nothing when he's confident with his looks.
He goes to introduce himself, giving side hugs to the male and a kiss on the cheek to the female guests. He does his trick to leave a lasting impression by holding their hands and looking them in the eyes as he says his name.
"You can call me Chris," he says with a smile.
She flutters her eyelids at him, a way to get his attention, and says her name, "I'm Lola!"
Lola is a gorgeous, dark-haired girl who speaks like she's half moaning, some men dig it but Chan, not really.
Chan turns to the other female guest and does the same, "Chris," he shortly introduces himself.
"Jane," she introduces back with a thick British accent and it's good to know that he's not the only one who owns pale skin.
"Love the accent," she says with a smile that showcases her perfect white teeth.
"Likewise," he immediately replies and grabs himself a glass of wine.
-
CHRIS: This is the first I have been surrounded by this many beautiful people in one place.
-
To say that he's not the slightest bit attracted would be a lie.
But there are only two of them for now and there'll be more to come, hopefully, there'll be one that attracts him. For now, there's not enough attraction.
However, Lola is refilling his glass without him asking and checking him up and down, doing it not so subtly only tells him that she's attracted to him.
"Thank you," he mutters and has a toast with her.
Two more female guests are entering the villa, one is a stunning blonde with dazzling blue eyes and the other is a tall goddess with golden skin.
The boys are howling in excitement as the selection has expanded. Chan, trapped in the corner with Lola, waves his hand at them.
The blond girl approaches her to hug him, "I'm Dani."
"Chris," he introduces with a smile.
"Australian, huh?" She guesses.
"Guilty!" He says, "What about you?"
"I'm Spanish," she answers which explains the sheer accent in her English, and proceeds to say something in her native language to him.
Once again, Chan doesn't have a type but hearing Dani speak in Spanish does something to him.
"You have no idea what I'm saying, right?" She asks with a flirtatious smile.
"Not at all," he honestly answers and bursts into laughter.
-
CHRIS: Dani is undeniably gorgeous and so is Alicia, so is Lola, so is Jane... [chuckles]
-
Another two male guests enter and one of them is sucking all of the female's attention with a nice body, nice teeth, and a height that Chan doesn't have. But he wouldn't let it belittle him. Physical appearance is nothing without skill and Chan has both.
Everyone is waiting for the last guest to arrive and his glass is magically full again, he turns to the side to see Lola smiling at her.
Chan takes the bottle from her to refill her glass for her, he gets interrupted by the loud cheer of everyone welcoming the last guest into the villa.
"Hi, you sexy bunch!" You greet.
The guy standing next to him, who he believes his name is Iain, puts his hand on his shoulder and gushes at the sight of you, "Man, she's so hot!"
Chan agrees with him. He notices the confident strides and a scintillating smile, he likes seeing those things on a girl.
You start going around, introducing yourself with a cheek-to-cheek kiss at the end of the introduction. When it gets to his turn, Chan is already prepared to impress you.
You lean in close as you ask his name, "Hi, what's your name?"
Chan is gobsmacked by the strong eye contact you're making with him, making him lose his train of thought for a while.
"Chris," he answers.
You let out a soft laugh and lean in closer, "Sorry, can you tell me again?"
He understands that you can't really hear him with everyone chatting to each other all at once mixed with the sound of the waves crashing in the background.
It comes to his advantage to lean in close to your ear and tell him his name, "It's Chris."
"Nice to meet you, Chris!" You say but instead of a cheek-to-cheek kiss, you put your hand around his neck and pull him for a quick hug.
The hug only lasts for a few seconds but he's happy with what he got. He agrees that physical appearance doesn't matter much but your body, oh... it's enough to send his mind wanders so far off from his head.
"Gorgeous!" He calmly beams, it sounds strange because it doesn't match the excitement he has when he looks at you.
Chan doesn't want to come on strong on the first meeting, he knows that he has a lot of time to get to know you and vice versa.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
-
CHRIS: Bright eyes, cute smile... I think I finally found my type. [Grins]
-
Chan hurriedly grabs the bottle of champagne the second he sees you grab a glass. He delightfully fills your glass with the bubbly wine.
"What a gentleman!" You exclaim with a smile.
He fills the glass just right to not overflow it, "The bar is that low, huh?"
You lift the glass but not taking a sip yet, "I usually go for the bad boys," you share.
Chan is aware that he doesn't have the typical look of a bad guy, that would be Jace with his sleeve tattoos and pierced eyebrow. He feels the need to show you that sometimes what's inside doesn't match with the exterior.
He fiercely looks at you and refills his glass next, "I don't look like one?"
You seem to hesitate to give him an honest answer, "Oh, well..."
Chan tips his head to the side and holds intense eye contact with you, "I can be bad if I want to."
"Yeah?" You say with a tone that sounds a little condescending to him.
That only motivates him to prove you wrong but he keeps his calm and shrugs in response.
You bring your glass close to your mouth and ask, "How bad?"
He grins and runs his tongue along the front row of his teeth, he takes a sip of his wine to make you wait for an answer.
"Why don't you find out?" He dares you with a sly smile.
One corner of your mouth raises higher than the other, forming a killer smirk on your face. You clink your glass with him and say, "Can't wait to find out!"
-
CHRIS: The eyes, Gosh! There was so much eye contact, it feels like a foreplay already [laughs]
-
Chan has no clue how the show is going to play out.
Is everyone going to mingle with each other and be free to do whatever they want for the next 30 days? It's possible because everyone is of age and signed the same contracts but he doubts it'll be that easy. It's a TV show, there's always a catch.
The day continues with a tour around the villa, everyone has seen the swimming pools and the small workout area down the beach so it's time to check inside.
Weirdly, everyone is excited about sharing the bedroom, probably because there are five beds and there are ten of them which means, everyone has to find a bed partner.
Chan's eyes dart at you who's sitting on the other bed with Luke, leaning back with your elbows propped against the mattress.
"Oh, it’s nice and quiet," Luke says, testing the bed by rocking it.
You're laughing as your hands fly to your chest, stopping your breasts from bouncing along with the bed.
While everyone else is joining in on the waves of laughter, Chan is busy assessing who else has their eyes on you. Iain is an easy guess but you'll go for someone like Jace, so he has to keep an eye on him too.
-
CHRIS: My eyes are set on a girl and uh... it's hard not to look at her so I refuse– [laughs] I refuse to share a bed with anyone else but her.
-
The boys are gathered on the beach and Chan doesn't know for what reason. He sits on the wooden bench next to Pierre with his blonde hair shining under the bright sun.
"Okay, let's cut the chit-chat!" Jace says.
His tattoed index finger is pointing at Luke, "You go first. Who's your number one?"
"Dani. Absolutely, Dani," Luke answers without a beat, and that only shows how keen he is to win her.
It's an open war, Chan reckons but it's good to know who he's up against so he can set a strategy and try to win.
It's Iain's turn and he simply answers, "Dani!"
So that means Chan's guess is incorrect yet it doubts him if Iain has no interest in you.
Sitting next to him, Pierre answers, "Alicia!"
Pierre then uneasily glances at Luke as he also chooses the same girl with him, "But also, Dani."
Luke scoffs at him and says, "She's cute, I know."
"Please, stop glaring at me!" Pierre jokingly says.
So far, there are three votes for Dani and that's not a surprise, she's one hell of an attractive girl, it just happens that she's not quite caught his attention like you do.
Pierre nudges Chan with his elbow, "Your turn, Chris!"
Chan confidently announces your name as his first choice and says it with a tint of possessiveness as if you were already his. He wants to let them know that he's going for what he wants and no one is going to get in between.
"What do you guys think of Lola?" Jace asks with a shit-eating grin.
Despite the tattoos that cover most of his back and chest, Jace is grinning as he asks everyone about his choice of girl.
"Lola is... Lola is cute," Chan says while rubbing his hands together in front of him.
Pierre agrees with him and nods, "Yeah, she's cute."
"I like Lola," Jace coyly admits.
Jace claps his hands together and points at the three men who are going for the same girl, "I see we have three men in a competition for Dani," he says.
Luke half-heartedly agrees, "The three of us are different so..."
It's a relief that Chan doesn't have any competition or that's what it seems, but he gets curious about the three men.
"Are you guys comfortable stepping on each other's toes?" He asks in pure curiosity.
"As long as Pierre doesn't step on me," Iain chimes in with a laugh, "Just look at his feet!"
All of them burst into laughter as Pierre lifts both feet into the air, showing everyone how big they are. He's a basketball player so that explains but Chan indeed doesn't want to be stepped on by those feet.
-
CHRIS: I say good luck and... may the best man win.
-
There's time left until everyone has to get ready for the welcome party tonight.
Chan can't relax yet just because he's the only one going after you. Two out of those three men will eventually have to choose another girl and he can't just leave it to luck, he needs to make some moves.
He goes to the dressing room only to find Lola and Jane in there, talking while fixing their make-up. Chan feels like interrupting so he goes to the bathroom next even though he's not sure he'll find you there.
He was too haste to think so, he finds you there leaning close to the mirror and dabbing lip balm on your plump lips. The shape your body takes as you bend over the sink, oh... he reminds himself to calm down.
"Hi," he sweetly greets you.
You see him through the reflection in the mirror and greet him back, "Hi!"
He walks over to the sink and leans his side against it, "How are you?"
You slowly turn to the side facing him while capping the tube of lip balm in your hand, "I'm good, great. You?
"Never been better," he answers.
You softly smile and put the lip balm back into a pouch, "So... What do you think going to happen tonight?"
The possibilities are endless but Chan settles on the simplest answer that fits his agenda, "What's going to happen is you and I share a bed."
You crack a low laugh and put one hand against the sink, "You want us to share a bed?"
But what he needs to hear is your answer, "What do you think?"
You consider it for a moment then say, "We'll see."
That's not an answer he wants, it's not even close to enough. Sure, Chan can play it cool but that's not who he is. Returning from the depth of his thoughts, he notices that you're checking him out from head to toe and doing it not so subtly.
Your eyes travel down his body and the next minute, you trap him in your eyes again.
"Are those real?"
"What?" He asks in confusion.
"Those abs," you say with a shy laugh.
He likes a confident girl but seeing you getting shy is endearingly cute.
"Who knows? It could be cake?!" You joke.
"Pinch it then!" He playfully dares you.
You hesitate for a moment, then gently put your fingertips on the sculpted muscles on his stomach and gasp in awe, "I can't even pinch it."
Keep running your fingertips on his skin and you playfully say, "It's so hard."
Standing this close to you with your hands on me is doing things to him. Chan swallows air and tries to keep it cool, "If you keep feeling my abs, I'm afraid it won't be the only thing that's hard."
You giggle yet you run your fingers down his abdomen, only stopping when they meet the waistband of his swimming trunks. He gets the urge to touch you in return and without needing to command, his hand automatically flies to your waist.
In this proximity, he can smell the fruity scent of your lip balm, sweet and enticing, making him want to taste it on your lips.
"Are you a good kisser?" He asks with his voice suddenly turning lower.
You slightly tilt your head to the side and flutter your eyelashes at him, "Why don't you find out?"
It's so attractive of you to say those words back to him in a low, sultry voice and make them weapons to weaken him. Just so you know, it works.
Chan bites his lower lip, impatient to crash them against yours. He puts his hand on the arch of your back, then slowly leans in closer, closer...
The sound of people coming to the bathroom shatters the moment, you laugh it off and gently push him away, "Try again later," you tell him.
You stop by the doorway and turn to look at him to add, "Only if you're lucky."
-
CHRIS: That! Right there! That's my type. [Nodding]
-
The boys are going down to the beach where the party is held.
The theme is Welcome to The Jungle and he dressed as his spirit animal, wolf. He shouldn't feel silly as everyone is also dressed in animal costumes.
The boys each take a glass of drink to fuel up for the night. Jace is the one leading by raising his glass high in the air, "Let's have some fun tonight!" He shouts.
Everyone else is following suit, raising their drinks high in the air and having a toast,
The contestants are only allowed to have three drinks max in one day so Chan doesn't need to worry about getting drunk. one drink is already enough to give him the courage to make a move on you tonight.
"There they are!" Luke says, pointing to the girls making their way down the stairs that lead to the beach.
Chan spots you right away, dressed in a costume of a bird with colorful fur and a pair of majestic wings. Suddenly, he feels like flying toward you.
He couldn't be any faster to get to your side and compliment you, "You're so beautiful!"
You brightly smile and make a pose for him, "Do you like it?"
"Spin for me!" He orders.
You do what he says, spinning on your feet and giggling as you almost stumble on your own foot.
Chan offers his hand to help you steady yourself and grins, "One beautiful love bird, aren't you?"
-
CHRIS: I'm on the hunt tonight! [Howls] [Laughs]
-
The music starts playing and everyone gets together in the middle, either dancing or drinking, or both. Chan can't keep his hands off of you ultimately because he was so close to getting a taste of it.
But that's okay, he likes playing this game of push and pull with you. He may have let you out of his arms but never out of his sight, you're only going as far as he let you.
Everyone is excited, a little tipsy, and sexually charged just in time to continue with a game. Lola takes the center and explains how the game works.
"Since we're all dressed like the animals we are..." she gets interrupted by Jace as he roars and bangs on his chest like the animal costume he's wearing.
"Each one of you will take turns to stand here then do your mating call and if any of you animals is attracted," she pauses to look at everyone before continuing, "You can kiss, bite, grab... whatever you want to do!"
It's an easy game to play and everyone is more than ready to answer some mating calls. Since Lola has taken the spot, she plays with her bunny ears and cutely hops on her feet like a rabbit but mewling like a cat.
Chan turns to Jace who's making eyes at her, crawling and walking like the animal he is dressed in, he playfully climbs her body and kisses her neck.
The others are responding with cheers and hoots, watching them going at each other's faces in front of them. It gets everyone impatient to take their turn.
The game is heating when Dani takes her turn, he can see that the three men in competition are getting ready to take their chance to kiss her and perhaps, try to be the best kisser of all.
Dani doesn't do a mating call of sorts, she just stands there and simply says, "Come and get it!"
Pierre dashes to get to her first and earns the first smooch, Iain and Luke are steadily waiting for their turn to kiss. While everyone else is enjoying the raunchy moment, Chan prepares himself because your turn is next. His eyes are following you as you walk to the appointed spot and turn to face everyone, you're laughing in giddy before trying to whistle as loud as you can.
Chan immediately gets up from his seat, but he hears a terrible lion roar from the other direction and sees Iain make his way to you.
He knows Iain still has an interest in you, but this will be his first and the last kiss he gets from you. He glares at Iain as he walks back to his seat.
Ignoring the rage inside him, Chan puts on his vicious eyes and shows his teeth, taking you by surprise as he sinks his teeth into your right breast, then your neck, and finally, your lips.
Iain kind of ruined this first kiss moment but Chan reminds himself that he'll not let anything get in the way of what he wants and this is what he wants. He holds your face with both hands and presses his lips on yours, he greedily kisses you and tugs your lips between his teeth before letting go.
Jace howls the loudest for him as Chan returns to his seat with a triumphant smile, he can taste the win on your lips, he can tell you fancy him more than Iain.
Chan finally takes his turn after Luke and he knows what he needs to do, he's going to howl like a wolf calling for you. He looks at you and says, "Come on!"
You're slyly smiling at him, pretending not to want to come forward but he knows, he knows you want to.
"I know you want it," He fiercely says, addressing you with his eyes.
You get up and break into running at him, not stopping until your body crashes into him in which he gladly welcomes you into his arms.
This is his chance to redo the first kiss so he kisses you, a little gentler than the previous one yet with the same passion. He puts his hands around your waist and without letting go of the kiss, he hoists you, then wraps your legs around his waist.
You yelp in surprise, but that only allows him to slip his tongue into your mouth and kiss you deeper as he holds you tightly.
"I'm going to take this bird home," he says after the.
Chan carries you back to your seat like the winning prize you are. He then silently glances at Iain with a bragging smile plastered on his face.
-
CHRIS: That's right, everyone. Kindly take your hands off of her because she's mine!
-
A lady walks in and Chan assumes she's the host of the show. She smiles and waves at everyone before talking, "Is everyone having fun?"
Everyone answers with a loud cheer and whistles, showing the host a lot of excitement. They're partying, drinking and they got to grab or bite or kiss, nothing to complain about.
"Okay, okay, I hear you all!" She responds with a knowing laugh.
She claps her hands together and turns on her feet to show a big box behind her, "If you look here, I have a surprise..."
Everyone is cooing in curiosity at the sight of it. Looking at the size of the box, it's safe to say that it fits a person inside.
The host has to wait for everyone to calm down to continue talking, "I am excited to announce that we have a surprise visit to start the show and make it special!"
Jace is whooping the loudest while the girls are whispering, wildly guessing by throwing famous people into the sentences.
"Are you ready to take the party to the next level?" She asks everyone.
"YEAH!!!" Everyone collectively answers.
"Okay then!" She flicks her fingers as a cue, then steps aside.
-
CHRIS: Whatever it is. Whoever it is. I'm ready. Give it to me!
-
Chan turns to look at you and asks, "What do you think?"
You shake your head and grin in excitement, "I don't know but it's exciting!"
Everyone is craning their necks and waiting in anticipation as they turn the lights around the box for a dramatic entrance. The door of the box is swinging opening little by little, it's dark to see what's inside, and then the thing inside lights up and chimes.
"OH! FUCK NO!!!" Dani screams and covers her face with both hands.
Chan turns to the side to look at you and you look as devastated as Dani, "You got to be kidding me!" You mutter under your breath.
He looks around and it seems like he's the only one who doesn't get a grasp of what's truly happening. He looks at the cone inside the box again and confusingly asks, "Is that... a speaker?"
You shake your head and whine, "No... It's Lana!"
Lana who? And why is everyone looking either mad or devastated? Would it be embarrassing if he told everyone that he doesn't watch TV or streaming movies like most people?
"Hello and welcome to the retreat!" The cone speaks which Chan has just learned is named Lana.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships," she continues.
Luke gets offended and coughs, "Welp. She's not wrong."
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Lola brushes her hair to the back in frustration and groans, "But I don't want that!"
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
It takes Chan a minute to process that. On the contract it says that he'll spend a month shooting the show, he does the math in his head and his mouth hangs open.
"Nah, nah, nah," Pierre repeatedly chants in denial.
Lana continues with a list of things everyone can't do in the retreat, "No kissing."
You drop your head on his shoulder at the mention of that and mewl.
"No heavy petting."
Jace drops onto his knees and rests his head on Lola's knee.
"No sex of any kind."
His ears perked and his head snaps in your direction, he gets why you're devastated because now he's just as devastated.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Jace groans like he's in indescribable pain with his head tilts up looking at the night sky.
"What does that mean?" Jane innocently asks.
"No masturbating," Chan answers to her since everyone else is too busy mourning on their own.
"No–No flicking the beans, you mean?" She asks with eyes widening in horror.
Chan nods in sympathy and he can feel the agony already. He surely can pass a month without having sex but not getting a release from touching his own body, that's the sadistic part of it all.
-
CHRIS: I never... I don't think I can go for weeks without— [drops head] [sighs]
-
"I don't think I can do it," You mutter to him with a painful smile.
Jace is being dramatic once again by saying, "I want to call my mom and tell her to come pick me up."
The tattoos and piercings on his body aren't really reflecting Jace's inner self. It shows an example that a true bad boy doesn't necessarily have to look like it.
Lana cuts off everyone's moans and groans with further announcements.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
That gets everyone in spirit again and Jace immediately sits back on his seat next to Lola, "Cancel it. No need to call my mom!" He shouts at no one.
With that much money, Chan starts to think of things he can buy with it, some producing kits, a new sofa for his studio, and a recording mic he's been wanting to buy. His train of thought is derailed when Lana continues talking.
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
Okay, that's so presumptuous of Chan to think that he'll win that money remembering that he's in a retreat with other horny people. There's no way that the amount of money will stay the same at the end of the retreat.
"Welcome to the retreat!" Lana concludes and leaves with another chime.
-
CHRIS: I met Lana and I understand why everyone is fuming [Laughs]
-
The night takes a hard turn and ends the party for good.
To give the girls time to change because they need more time with the make-up and costumes, the boys are lounging outside by the terrace.
"Oh, there she is!" Iain points at the cone that is now put in every corner of the villa.
Luke leans into the cone and commands, "Lana, go away!"
Chan bursts into laughter and leans back in his seat, "Dude, she's not Siri!"
Pierre is too big to sit on the armrest of the sofa, Chan makes a space for him and tells him to sit there.
"Who's going to sleep with who?"
The three competing guys are looking at each other, it's still unclear which one of them Dani is going to choose.
"Why don't we let them choose?" Jace calmly says that he knows for sure that Lola is going to sleep with him.
And Chan has nothing to worry about because he knows you're going to choose him.
The boys take their pick of bed and Chan chooses the one in the corner next to the big window. He's lying on the bed with hands tucked behind his head, waiting for the girls to come into the bedroom and choose their bed partner.
Alicia comes first and she seems to have made up her mind on the bed next to him which is Pierre's bed.
Chan turns to the side and says, "Nice one, bro!"
Pierre gives him a fistbump as a sign of victory and makes space on the bed for Alicia.
Lola is the next one and it's just what he expected, she jumps onto Jace's bed in which Jace enthusiastically waits with his open arms.
The time he's been waiting for is here, he sees you coming into the bedroom dressed in a cropped white top and shorts.
You're still beautiful to him with a bare face and your hair is down, his heart is beating faster and faster as you make your way to his bed.
Chan takes his hands away from under his head as you climb onto the bed, then pats the space between his legs, "Come here, baby!"
You crawl to him and sit where he asked you to, between his legs with your back resting against his chest. Chan wastes no time to cage you in his big arms, then buries his nose in your neck to drink in your heavenly scent.
His hand accidentally brushes over your breasts and despite that it's accidental, he can see that you're not wearing a bra underneath.
"I usually sleep naked," he shares with you.
You slightly turn your head to the side to meet his eyes, "Me too."
Chan, having not yet processed that he's in a sex retreat is not aware that information will most likely do him no good.
"Are you a good cuddler?" You ask.
He nuzzles his nose into your hair, "Oh, you're in for a treat!"
You comfortably rest your head on his shoulder as he slips his fingers into your hands and intertwines them together, resting them on your stomach afterward.
It suddenly turns quiet when Dani enters the bedroom and Chan is enjoying the drama about to unfold in front of him. He and Pierre exchange glances at each other. Now that Pierre has dropped out of the competition, that leaves Dani with two options left, Luke or Iain.
But it's clear that Dani has come to a decision to share the bed with Luke as she casually gets on his bed, "I'll sleep here," she says.
That leaves Iain with no choice but to sleep with Jane.
"Goodnight everyone!" Jace sweetly says to everyone in the room the second the lights are off.
It's a long day and he's still processing everything that happened but it's all worth it because now, he's sleeping next to you.
Chan puts his hand on your waist and pulls you close until your back meets his chest. He likes how your body molds perfectly into his and you snuggle more against his body, your ass rubbing against his crotch. Intentionally or not, he'll eventually get hard because of you.
You put your hand on his jaw and softly kiss his cheek, "Goodnight!"
He places a long kiss on your cheek in return, "Goodnight!" He says, adding a quick kiss on your shoulder after.
-
CHRIS: I don't even know if I'd be able to sleep next to a hot girl and not do anything. [Shakes head]
-
It's morning but the lights aren't on yet.
Chan makes use of the absence of light by cuddling you under the cover, putting his hand around you, and pressing kisses on your bare shoulder, then down your arm.
He hears you humming then softly rubbing your hand on his forearm.
Chan puts his mouth close to your ear, "You're awake?"
You don't say anything but lowly hum as his hand glides down your thigh and gently squeezes on the flesh. Then you turn your head at him and with eyes still closed, you lowly speak, "Nice."
He quietly laughs because you're slurring your words, "What?" He asks.
You turn your head around to whisper it to him so everyone else can't hear it, "Your morning wood."
Chan completely forgot about it but it's too late to hide it, you're probably been feeling his morning wood poking at your ass cheek for a while now. He takes his hand away from your thigh and rests it on your stomach.
"Now I kind of want to see it," you playfully say with a sly smile.
"Mmh... don't worry, you'll see," he seductively whispers to you.
Thankfully, the lights are on and Chan has time to tame his morning wood before he has to start the day.
The cone perched on the small glass table lights up and chimes, "Good morning, everyone!"
It only reminds Chan of the torment he puts himself in. He chooses to stay lying on his bed while you sit against the headboard of the bed with his hand resting on your thigh.
"A reminder that you're no longer in Lust Island and this is the first day of your retreat. Enjoy!" Lana keeps his morning greeting brief yet painful.
Luke groans with a pillow covering his face, "This is like... a nightmare."
Sure, it's hard to stay sexless for a whole month but to say this a nightmare when he sleeps next to a beautiful girl like you, Chan disagrees.
The day starts with working out at the beach with Pierre and he's doing his last rep of push-ups when Jace joins them. He's picking up a dumbbell and groans even before he picks it up.
"I don't know about you but I couldn't sleep much last night," Jace says.
Pierre laughs at him, "Wait, wait, are you—"
"Nah," Jace instantly denies, "I'm just waiting for someone to break the rule first."
Chan sits on the mat with his body coated in sweat, "I bet my money on Luke."
Pierre and Jace hoots at the same time, then slapping each other's chests, "Oh, yeah, damn!"
"Don't you laugh! You're close on second, Jace!" Chan says to him, almost falling over to the back as he laughs.
The hilarity ensues even after Jace starts lifting his dumbbells while standing, facing the vast blue sea.
"What about you, Aussie boy?" He asks.
Chan shields his eyes from the sun with his hand, "What about me?"
Jace shoots him a sly smirk, "Hey, I know, I see everything."
"Oh, yes, yes, he's all over her," Pierre eggs in just to tease him.
Chan glares at him and points his finger at him, "Watch out. I'm sleeping next to you!"
Pierre holds in his laughter, "I won't tell if you don't tell."
Everyone's curiosity is about to get fulfilled as Lana calls everyone to gather in the cabana. Seeing you for the first time after this morning, looking so stunning in a black bikini.
He sits right next to you at the end of the curved sofa with Lana already sitting right in the center of the wooden table.
"I'm nervous," Lola says, even though Lana hasn't come online yet.
Then comes the melodic chime and everyone gets tensed all at once. Seeing everyone nervous, makes Chan nervous too so he puts his arm around you to comfort him.
"Hello, everyone!" Lana begins.
There are various answers but everyone is half-heartedly replying to her.
"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and last night, you were given strict rules to adhere to."
Lana sounds not pleased and Chan wonders if anyone has broken the rules yet. He knows for sure that you and him are not breaking any so he scans to spot any guilty faces.
"Those rules forbid sexual contact of any kind. Regrettably, a few minutes later there was a breach of the rules," Lana informs.
"Ooh..." A few people coo in response.
Chan continues his search for guilty faces, his bet is still on Luke but it could be anyone.
"Does this mean it was last night?" Jane asks, looking the most innocent out of the bunch.
Jace slyly laughs and looks at everyone, "Okay, so, who did it?"
Now Chan is not the only one on the hunt for the guilty ones. Everyone is trying to see what is not visible to the naked eye.
Not long after, the first culprit starts to show herself. Dani is shaking her leg too much and trying not to look everyone in the eyes. The calm on her face gradually falters with each passing second.
"You're smiling," Pierre points out and everyone's attention is turned to her.
Dani can't keep her calm anymore and decides to come clean, "Yeah, it was me."
"Oh, shit!" Jace yells, representing everyone else in the group.
"With whom?" Lola asks.
Dani shakes her head, "I'm not going to name names," she says with a cryptic smile.
Now everyone is wondering who kissed Dani between Luke and Iain, the whole thing turns into a detective game. Who kissed Dani?
"Nope. It's not me," Iain confesses right away and the suspicion is directed at the last person left on the list.
Everyone is only waiting for Luke to admit it and you shift on your seat as immersed in the moment as...
"It was me," you come forward with your hand raised.
It takes him more than a moment to collect himself and convince himself that he heard it right. You have just confessed as the one who kissed Dani last night.
Jace jolts in his seat, "WHAT?"
Pierre leans at Chan and exclaims, "Wow!"
You look at everyone and apologize, "I'm sorry. I don't know... I just didn't think that we'd get caught," you explain.
As you're about to sit back, you turn your head in the direction of Luke, "I'm sorry for being the first to kiss Dani," you specifically apologize to him.
-
CHRIS: She kissed Dani... [Chuckles] I like that shit [pinches the bridge of his nose]
-
"This breach of the rules has cost the group $3,000," Lana announces, reminding everyone that there's prize money to protect.
"The prize fund now stands at $197,000."
Chan is getting more pessimistic that there'll be any money left at the end of the retreat. With everyone knowing that someone has broken the rules, it's only about time that everyone takes their turn to do it.
Personally, Chan doesn't care about the money, he has enough but that doesn't mean he will act selfishly by breaking the rules. The word 'selfish' isn't what he wants to be associated with him.
Also, it's not his money in the first place, it's everyone's money, therefore he can't waste money without thinking of the group.
You squeeze yourself into the small sofa he's sitting in and put your hand around him, "Hi," you softly say with a smile.
He looks at you and puts your leg over his knee, putting his hand on the back of your thigh, "Hi!"
You put your hand on the nape of his neck where the beads of water are dripping from the end of his hair from swimming.
"You look good wet," you tell him.
Chan brushes his hair to the back and looks at you, "You look better wet," he says with a sly grin.
It's hard being this close to you and not kissing you. Chan has to actively tell his brain to not give in to the temptations even though it's sitting right on his lap.
"Are you mad?" You ask.
He reckons you're asking about the kiss you did with Dani, "How can I be mad at that?" he asks back.
You laugh in response, "Yeah?"
He rests his head to look up at you, "That's just so hot," he replies.
You put your other hand around him and look into his eyes, entrapped him in your mesmerizing gaze.
Chan's plan is simple: Try not to act selfishly.
Then you happened. You kissed Dani, the most popular girl in the retreat, and then you openly admitted it to everyone. That only shows you have no problem breaking the rules, and added the fact that you're so attractive to him making a lethal combination that would likely lead Chan to act against his plan.
-
CHRIS: She's not only too hot to handle. I'm afraid, she's also a lot to handle [grins] but in the best way.
-
To make everyone connect emotionally rather than physically, Lana has set up a workshop in the front yard of the villa.
Everyone is paired up for it and he, of course, is your partner, he expects nothing less than it. Except that Iain gets the chance to be with Dani in this workshop.
A sex expert has been invited to lead the workshop, "Today, we're going to learn about restraint," she announces.
She walks to the center and looks at everyone as she speaks, "This workshop is about learning to slow down, there's so much more to intimacy and physical connections aside from sex."
Today's lesson is exploring each other's erogenous zones, to find the parts of our bodies that are sensitive to sexual stimulation. Chan has no idea if it would help him think less about sex because it seems like it's going to do the opposite to him.
There's a selection of equipment to help, there are feathers, roses, whips, and even melted chocolate on a bowl. You take the first turn, laying on your stomach on the thin mattress so he can start his exploration.
To begin, Chan only wants to use his hand to trace the curve of your body, feeling every inch of your skin with his fingertips.
You look over your shoulder as his hand climbs up your spine and stops at the nape of your neck only to drag his knuckle down your back.
"You're so soft," he murmurs as he puts your hair away from covering your neck.
You flash him a sly smile and hum, "Mmh..."
He takes a feather from the basket and begins to touch your body with it, finding the special spots that make you whimper or squirm.
Or giggle, just like you're doing right now as he tickles your ankle with the feather, "Tickles?"
You nod with your teeth faintly biting your lower lip.
"Turn over for me, please?" He says to you.
You obey and lay on your back, propping both elbows against the mattress to see that Chan has picked up a rose now.
Chan starts at the neck this time, softly touching you with the rose. He notices you lowly humming as he glides it down your chest and the petals are making a trail down your front. Yet he keeps dragging down your inner thigh and you lowly moan.
"Tickles?"
"Uh-huh."
He brings it close to your clothed core, "Right here?"
You're looking him in the eyes as you reply, "Yes."
"Self control and restraint. Two essential parts of today's lesson!" The expert reminds everyone not to get overboard with their explorations.
Before he takes his turn, he takes a dollop of chocolate and smears it across your sternum. Slowly, he leans down to lick it off of you with his slick, hot tongue.
He can hear your stifled breath and your chest heaving as he sucks on the skin on your breast. He finishes with a kiss on your neck and a triumphant smile on his face.
-
CHRIS: Looking at her laying there and being so sensitive under my touch oh... [hisses] [exhales]
-
The nervousness gets to him when he lays down on the mattress and puts his hands under his head, surrendering his body because it's time for you to explore now.
You crawl over his body to get the whip from the basket and he guesses, you intentionally pressing on his crotch as you look down on him with the whip in your hand.
"I haven't started but your ears are already getting red," you tell him.
Chan tries to stay calm and closes his eyes for a while to finally come up with a response, "It's the sun."
You laugh at that and begin your exploration by touching his body with the leather whip, without warning, slapping it on his skin.
"How about that?" You lowly ask.
"Not bad," he coyly answers.
You get off his body and lay next to him while the whip is continuing its journey down his body, heading close to his clothed member and again, slapping him on his thigh without warning.
"Harder?" You ask.
But before he can answer, you're slapping on the other thigh, earning a low groan out of him. Without looking, he knows that his ears are getting even redder at this moment.
On his pale skin, you can see the marks you made from whipping him, and decides to switch it to feather. You're looking at him while you're teasing his neck with the feather, he can't lie that his ears are one of his sensitive parts. The hair on his arms stands up as you rub the feather on his ear shell.
"You're so cute," you breathlessly whisper, putting his weakness to your advantage.
He can only look at you and hope that he doesn't fall apart under your touch. You take the bowl of melted chocolate, then sit on his crotch, earning a moan out of him.
You flash him a grin that hints you're up to no good. He watches as you pour the chocolate onto his abs and pick a strawberry, dipping it on the chocolate on his abs before tugging it between your teeth and feeding it to him.
Doing it carefully to not accidentally break the rules, Chan takes a bite of the strawberry without his lips touching yours then you shove the rest of it into your mouth and chew on it.
He assumes that you have done as you sit back on the mattress, you hold his body down with your hand on his chest.
"Nuh-uh! I'm not finished yet," you tell him.
He wonders what else you're trying to do but that's the pleasure of not knowing. He sees you ducking your head onto his stomach to lick the chocolate on his abs.
Your tongue makes a long strip of lick up his abs and another long strip down on the next, you clean the rest in kitten licks, making the best of your time to torture him as his ears are about to explode at how red and hot they are, he lies when he said it's because of the sun.
Chan notices the smear of chocolate on your upper lip, "Come here!" He gestures for you to come close to his face.
You crawl and hover over his body, you stay still as he cleans it for you by licking it. It's not a rule break since it's only his tongue that makes contact with your lips.
"How'd it taste?"
"So, so sweet," he answers.
Sadly, the workshop is over. They know that if they let it on for too long, it's going to turn into one massive orgy.
"Self-control is very difficult but I hope that you can take something out of this workshop and practice it in the retreat," the expert concludes at the end of the workshop.
-
CHRIS: I learned that she's sensitive on her ankle, her neck, her chest, and I... can't wait to touch her all over again [Chuckles]
-
There's a lot of seats on the sofa but you choose to sit on his lap. Not that he minds about it, he just can't trust himself when you're this close, especially dressed in a skin-tight outfit that enhances every curve of your body.
You loop an arm around his neck and the other hand is holding a drink, your eyes are always locked in a gaze with him.
"Do you play any sports?"
"Soccer, bowling... uh, pool?" Chan lists the sports he's been playing recently.
You put your drink away so you can use both hands to feel his shoulder blades, "Which sport got you these broad shoulders?"
Chan takes a small sip of his drink before putting it away, "I believe that's from swimming," he answers.
He puts his hand on your thigh with his thumb mindlessly rubbing on the skin as he talks, "I took part in a few swimming competitions in high school."
"Ooh..." you coo in awe, "So, you're good at swimming."
Chan nonchalantly shrugs, then grins, showing his dimples at you.
"What is your best style?"
"Freestyle, butterfly," he casually answers.
"How about breaststroke?" You ask with a seductive smile.
"I'm the best," he answers even though it's kind of vague if you're still talking about swimming style or a different kind of stroke.
It's hard to keep the conversation casual with you, he can't blame you though. It's impossible not to think about sex when he's with you.
"I want to learn the breaststroke from you," you playfully say with a flirtatious gaze.
"How about a private swimming lesson?" He spontaneously comes up with an idea.
With his recent discovery that the back of your thigh is sensitive, he puts his hand there as he says, "I'm going to teach all kinds of strokes."
-
CHRIS: I just can't keep my head straight when I'm with her. There's just a lot of sexual tension, it's unbearable [sighs]
-
While everyone else is getting ready for bed, you change into a swimsuit and meet him at the swimming pool. You sit on the edge to take off the mic to not risk it getting wet and damage it, then jump into the pool afterward.
It is supposed to be a swimming lesson but Chan pushes you to the wall and cages you between his arms. You don't seem to mind it though but Chan is unaware of the danger he trapped himself in.
"I think there'll be lots of rule breaks tonight," you say.
Chan glides his hand down to your waist and holds you there, "Well, thanks to you!" He pokes fun at you.
You chuckle at that and put your arms around his shoulders, "What about you?"
You put your hand on his pec and hypnotizing eyes that look right into his soul, "Are you going to break rules?"
You lean in close and graze his nose with the tip of your nose, "Are you going to be good or bad tonight, mmh?"
Chan brushes his hair to the back before diving it back into the water and lifts your leg by the back of your thigh to hook it around him.
He brings his face close to your side and lowly whispers, "Is that what you want?"
You tip your head to the other side, enticing him with your exposed neck, "Mmh, yeah..."
The beads of water trickling down the column of your neck make him give in to the temptation and plant a kiss on the skin behind your ear, "You naughty girl!" he says with a laugh.
You put your hands on his chest, "And I know you're just as naughty," you say back while gently pushing him away.
Chan laughs and has you pinned against the wall again, looking at your face glows from the bluish lights of the swimming pool.
He reaches for your face and swipes his thumb across your lips, "I want to kiss you," he says with a hoarse voice.
You giggle and put your hands on each side of his waist, "We can't do that, Chris," you say with an insinuating tone that indicates you're not meant to remind him about the rules.
Your eyes are daring him to cross the line and so he does, he puts his hand under your chin, then leans in to kiss you. The way you eagerly return it, he allows himself to kiss you harder and deeper.
Chan lets out a delightful sigh once he pulls away from the kiss and laughs the moment his eyes meet yours, "That was hot," he comments, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.
He's going against his plan to not act selfishly but at that moment, he doesn't think about the money at all. His eyes are looking at your lips and how they're glistening wet, inviting him to kiss it again.
-
CHRIS: Oh my, Gosh! It's just so hard... it's hard [shakes his head]
-
Chan closes his eyes and tries to reorganize his thoughts, holding you tightly to help him get a grip. He hoists you against his body and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist.
"You're a good kisser," you compliment with both of your hands around his neck.
He tilts his head up to look at you, "You're a good kisser too."
You tangled your hand in the hair on the back of his head, "I kind of want to do it again."
Chan knows that you're not asking for his permission, he also knows that one kiss won't be enough for both of you. The kiss is explosive and thrilling, giving him a newfound kind of rush that he wants to experience all over again.
You kiss him first and Chan becomes the one who eagerly returns the kiss to you, opening his mouth so he can use his tongue in the mix.
"Mmh..." you moan as you put your lips on his, then slowly let go.
You smile as you put your forehead against him and seductively giggle, "You're so bad, you know that?"
It should be him saying that line to you. Whenever he's with you, he feels like has no sense of self-control anymore, all he wants to do is submit to your wishes.
He puts you down and turns around so he can rest his back, pulling you close to hold you from the back. He hopes that not seeing your lips will help him calm down.
It's when he composed himself he realizes the damage he has done to the prize money, "Okay, I feel the guilt now," he pathetically admits.
With his hands wrapped around your waist, you rub his forearm in the water and say, "We could have done more but we didn't, you know?"
"That's true," Chan agrees because yes, he could have done more than just kisses with you. If he were out there, he would have broken a bed or two with you.
Chan is fond of physical affection, both receiving and giving. It's imperative for him when it comes to connecting and bonding with the person he likes.
It's a bummer that he can't freely do that in the retreat but if he's going to break rules, he'll only do it with one person and that is you.
-
CHRIS: I want to be good but she brings out the bad in me so... [shrugs]
-
Chan had barely started his day when Lana gathered everyone in the bedroom.
He enters and sees you already sitting on the bed, he sits on the end to let you hug him from the back, waiting for the cone to light up and chime like she usually does.
"Mmh... so hot!" You gasp as you put your hand across his chest.
"How come you only found out now, mmh?" He jokes.
He knows you're talking about his skin and that's because he was at the beach to swim when Lana called. Also, he knows that it's time for judgment, everyone is going to know about the things he did.
Now that he knows he's about to get exposed, his heart skips a beat as the melodic chime comes from the cone.
"Oh! There she is!" Jane weakly gasps.
Lana hasn't spoken but Chan knows she's not pleased with the news she's about to deliver today.
"I have some disappointing news."
Chan silently swallows air and puts his hands together in front of him. He can see the guilts are coming back and haunting him.
"There has been a breach of the rules."
Everyone coo and all eyes are automatically looking for the guilty faces. Chan can see that he's not the only one breaking the rules, he just can't tell if it's going to make him feel better or worse.
-
CHRIS: I'm on the hot seat right now. Everyone is not going to be pleased.
-
Jace leans forward on the bed and rubs his chin, "I'll be honest with you all," he begins.
Jace and his playful smirk is an easy giveaway, Chan can tell that he broke the rules. Lola is also looking nervous as she keeps picking on her nails.
"I spent some money. I kissed Lola last night," he confesses.
Iain sighs and mutters under his breath, "Oh, man..."
"It was all me," Jace says as he glances at Lola, taking all the blame from her.
"I feel a connection so I guess it was worth it... yeah, I'm sorry, you guys," he concludes.
Pierre nods and seems to give him a pass, "Okay."
That seems easy to do and since everyone is on the same ship, Chan reckons that they'll respect his honesty and understand why he did what he did.
It's best to own up to his mistakes quickly than mulling over it so he confesses, "We kissed by the pool last night."
You hide behind his shoulder with your hand resting on the other shoulder.
"Just once?" Jane asks.
Chan looks at you and you take your turn to speak for both of you, "Twice."
"Oh... fuck..." Pierre lowly curses on the bed next to him.
"Is that it?" Iain asks.
He wants to be honest but it's hard when everyone is throwing daggers with their eyes at him. He forces himself to admit it, "I kissed her again. On the bed."
Chan felt guilty on the first kiss but after the second kiss, it got easier for him to rulebreak. As he was spooning you last night, your body was pressed against him and you smelled so good, it just felt right to give you a long, passionate goodnight kiss.
That, he admits is a hundred percent his fault.
"And that's it. No more kisses," you assure everyone before they can yell at him again.
"We're sorry," you end with an apology.
Chan feels grateful that you don't leave him alone, you firmly stand your ground and face it with him.
"That was a waste of money," Iain mutters loud enough for everyone to hear.
You take a sharp breath and ask, "Is that all Lana?"
"There was another breach of the rules," Lana informs, sounding so fed up already.
The drama continues as the next rulebreaker comes to light and that is Luke. It’s kind of expected, he's with Dani after all, and committed two rulebreaks. Pierre comes forward with one kiss with Alicia.
Chan is just so relieved that they take the attention away with them and he can breathe now with the glares no longer aimed in his direction.
"All of these rule breaks have made me reassess my retreat strategy," Lana states.
"Oh... she's mad," Lola says with a panicked smile.
"I have now decided to implement a stricter regime. The fines will now be doubled starting from these rule breaks," she informs.
Chan turns his head to look at you and sees you cringe at the shocking announcement.
"These multiple rule breaks have cost the group $42,000."
Lola gasps with her hand flies to cover her mouth, "We might as well pack up our bags right now," she says.
You both have just now realized the damages done to the prize money. You nuzzle your head into his neck, feeling bad from the guilt.
"The prize fund now stands at $155,000," Lana updates.
-
CHRIS: The bill turned up and we're like whoa! [Eyes widen] I guess yeah... we spent quite a lot.
-
Now it's the perfect time for him to swim at the beach.
Chan needs to cool his head down and let the seawater wash away his guilt of spending that much money on three kisses, he can do so much with $18,000.
He's swimming far off the shore and when he walks back to the villa, Jace is laughing at him.
"I thought you were swimming back to Australia, dude!" He says him while brushing his long blond hair to the back.
Chan doesn't see that Luke is there too until he arrives at the top of the stairs, "I thought about it, yeah," he playfully responds to him.
Chan then sits on the lounger next to him and dries his hair with a towel. He leans back on the lounger and turns his head at him, "I was right that you'll be the second to break the rules!"
Jace snickers, "Damn right, I am. It was worth it."
Luke rubs his oiled body and says, "Yo, I was the one in the hot seat."
Chan laughs at him, "And I thank you for taking everyone's attention away."
"You owe me!" Luke says.
Jace points at Chan with his head lolling to the side, "You know what? I think you'll need a loan soon," he jokes.
Chan shakes his head and that sounds plausible with how much money he spent in one night. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he hisses in response, "Nah..."
Truthfully, that would be a lie. Chan has not yet found a way to try to stick with the plan but at the same time, he wants to always be close to you but it's dangerous once he gets close to you.
Chan needs to work on his self-control and for a start, he needs to put a safe space between you and him.
-
CHRIS: You know what? I'll not break any rules from now on... [uneasily glances side to side] Hopefully.
-
First thing in the morning, Chan gets handed a hard task when he steps into the bathroom.
"Baby, please, help me!" You sweetly say with a tube of sunblock in your hand.
Chan has no other option but to comply and think of it as a test of self-control. He takes the sunblock from you as you slightly bend down with your hands on the edge of the sink.
"Get in there! Don't be shy!" You playfully tell him as he hesitates to rub over some sunblock on your ass cheeks.
"Okay, okay," he replies, rubbing the cream on the ample flesh of your rear, and not going to lie, he likes what he's touching.
Chan notices that you're looking at him through the reflection in the mirror and he senses that you know what's been happening the last few days.
"You say you're a good cuddler..." you say.
He rubs the rest of the sunblock down your arms, "I am," he assures.
You look over your shoulder at him, "But you barely cuddled me last night," you say with a pout.
His heart flips seeing you adorably complaining about the lack of cuddles and he can't help but smile. He knows he shouldn't put a space all of a sudden and not tell you about it.
Chan pulls your body close against his body and looks at the reflection of him hugging you from the back, fuck, he likes what he's seeing.
He slides his hands down to your hips and pulls you closer, close enough to press on his crotch, "You always make me hard," he confesses.
He presses a long kiss on your neck then says, "That's why."
You're chuckling at his honest answer then turn around to face him, putting your hands on his magnificent abs.
"How about I return the favor?" You suddenly ask.
Chan's eyes widen in shock and he wonders if the favor you mentioned has got to do with the thing he said earlier.
You burst into laughter and take the tube of sunblock, "I mean, putting on sunblock," you make the context clear.
You gently pat his cheek and kiss it while still laughing, "What are you thinking, mmh?"
-
CHRIS: Told you, I just can't think straight when I'm with her.
-
With their eyebrows raised and not-so-subtle death glares thrown your way, it's obvious that they think the reason why Lana called everyone to the cabana is because you both broke the rules again.
"Nah. Nuh-uh. Not us!" You quickly deny everyone's allegations.
Chan can relax this time knowing that he didn't do any rulebreak and puts his arm around your shoulder. You offer your hand to intertwine it with his.
"Hello, everyone!" Lana greets not long after the cone chimes in.
Lola is nervously laughing in response and Jace follows suit, they make a strange couple out of the bunch which only makes them inexplicably cute.
"To help you achieve personal growth during your stay, I need to increase your chance of finding meaningful romantic relationships," Lana remarks.
You turn your head at Chan and raise an eyebrow, wondering if he has any clue as to what Lana is hinting at.
"Therefore, I have invited two new guests to the retreat."
The gasp you let out is loud and sharp, Chan gets a little alarmed at how enthusiastic you get from this announcement. Should he be worried though?
"My guests have selected one person each to take on a date," Lana further informs.
"Oh, my God!" Alicia shrieks.
It shouldn't worry him this much but Chan feels a little worried. It's not him, it's you, he worries that your head will turn.
"The ones chosen for the dates are..."
-
CHRIS: Lana, can you just send us on a date instead? [Laughs] I'll not be pleased if she gets chosen for the date.
-
Chan doesn't want to show it but he starts tapping his fingers on his knee, waiting for Lana to inform who got chosen to get on dates with the new guests.
"Alicia..." Lana announces the first name.
Pierre hisses at the mention of his partner and coyly smiles, looking calm about it.
"And Chris," Lana announces.
Chan only registered a minute later that Lana called his name and that he got picked for the date. He might have secretly prayed for your name to not get called and forgot to pray for his own.
"Alicia and Chris, you may now leave and get ready for your dates," Lana orders.
You thinly smile at him and kiss him on the cheek, "Have fun!"
He's not sure if you mean it or not, but Chan takes it that you have good intentions behind those words. He briefly hugs you before leaving.
-
CHRIS: I did not expect to get chosen but yeah, I think it's a good chance for me to show her that I'm into her.
-
It's when he's getting ready in the dressing room that Lana delivers additional information.
One, they haven't told the new guests that they are on Too Hot To Handle which will make them as horny and as eager as he is at the start of the retreat.
Two, Chan is free to decide at which point to tell them about it.
"It's better if we tell them right away then," Chan talks to Alicia as they're walking down to the beach.
"But then they won't try to kiss you," Alicia cheekily says which is the opposite of what they should do to resist temptations.
"Good luck!" Chan gives Alicia a quick hug as they go separate ways at the beach.
He keeps walking until he finds the place where they have prepared a picnic for the date and also where the new guest has been waiting for him.
The girl turns her head around and smiles when she sees him coming her way, "Hi, hi!"
Chan joins her by sitting on the pillow on the picnic mat, "Hi, I'm Chris," he introduces and offers his hand for a handshake.
"I'm Olivia," she introduces back but instead of shaking his hand, she puts her hand around his shoulder and pulls him for a hug.
It gets him nervous and it's not the first time he goes on a date like this. He grabs the glass of drink that has been prepared for him and initiates a toast with her.
"Is that an Australian accent that I hear?" She asks.
"Yes," He answers.
"Oh, I like that," she sweetly says with a bright smile.
This is the real temptation. Olivia has a voluptuous body, gorgeous strawberry-blond hair, and a nice smile. Chan was so wrong to think that her date would be ugly.
"I've never been to a date this nice, honestly," Olivia says.
Chan swallows his drink before answering, "Well, thank you for choosing me so I can enjoy this nice date with you," he says.
He doesn't mean to sound this flirty, it just sort of comes out of him naturally. It's just the way he talks to a girl.
"Well, you have a great body, sexy lips and dimples. I think it's a no-brainer," Olivia says with eyes that silently travel down his body.
This is what he doesn't get from you enough from you, affirmations and now that he got it from someone, he gets flustered, "Thank you," he mutters with a shy smile.
Olivia flips her hair to one side of her shoulder and gazes at him, "What do you think about me? Am I your type?"
Chan lets out a low laugh and holds his drink in one hand, "You're obviously good-looking," he begins.
Olivia is biting on her finger and locked in a gaze with him as he continues talking.
"I like your smile. It's uh... you have a very nice smile," he sincerely compliments.
"Thank you," she mutters her gratitude with a flirtatious smile.
-
CHRIS: Just because I'm already with someone that doesn't mean I can't get to know Olivia.
-
The plan is to break the news to Olivia as soon as possible.
However, Chan keeps finding himself stalling to do it. He gets immersed in the conversation with Olivia and maybe because he hasn't met new people in a while that makes him inexplicably excited to talk to someone new.
Chan finishes his drink to muster up the courage to drop the news but it's hard when Olivia is constantly giving him the eyes.
"It's a nice date, yeah?" Chan begins by softening the moment.
Olivia smiles and nods, "It would be nicer if we kissed," she shamelessly says.
Oh, Olivia is a trouble and Chan already has a handful of it, she's probably waiting for him to come back from this date as they speak.
"I don't think that's going to happen," Chan says.
"Why?" Olivia's smile falters a little and maybe, she's feeling a little dejected by how quickly Chan shot her down.
"This is not what you think it is," Chan carefully says.
One of her eyebrows shoots up higher than the other, "What do you mean?"
Chan takes a deep breath even though Olivia who should be the one doing it, "You're on Too Hot To Handle."
Olivia sits up straighter and clutches at her chest, "What?"
He feels bad to rain on her parade but he's merely there to be the bearer of bad news.
"That means no kissing, no heavy petting, no masturbating, no sex..."
Her eyes get wider and wider the more she hears about things she's not allowed to do in the retreat, "That means no fun? Ever?"
"Basically... yeah," Chan playfully responds.
Oh, is this how he looked when Lana dropped the news on him? The only thing he knows for sure is Olivia is as livid as he was back then.
-
CHRIS: What can I do? Lana is the one in control here.
-
The night gets dark in time to return to the villa.
Chan helps Olivia climb the stairs on her heeled sandals and proceeds to introduce her to everyone. He gets a little nervous when it comes to introducing Olivia to you.
"So, how was the date?" Lola asks.
Chan scratches the back of his head and answers, "We had a good time."
"Yeah, that was... the nicest date I ever had," Olivia adds.
He takes a seat next to you on the sofa and you're only looking at him without saying anything.
"Did you have fun?" You finally ask him.
Chan leans into your side and says, "Let's have a talk!"
Taking you by the hand, he pulls you aside to get some privacy. You choose to sit on the sofa across from him rather than next to him.
"Uh... Olivia is sweet and we had a great chat," Chan begins while rubbing down his arm.
"I used the chance to get to know her," he adds.
He sees you subtly rolling your eyes at him and sigh, pretending like you don't care but he knows. It's kind of cute that you're worrying him that Chan's heart is fluttering inside.
He reaches for your hands and intertwines his fingers with you, "But the whole time, during the date..."
He looks at you and smiles, "I just couldn't wait to get back."
A smile rises on your face and he can see that you soften around him. He uses his index fingers to draw endless circles on the inside of your palm.
"I miss you," he softly mutters.
You're shyly smiling at him and say it back, "I miss you too."
"Come here! Give me a hug!" He says while shaking your hand.
You get up from the sofa and walk up to him, he stops you before coming for his lap.
"Oh, looking so hot tonight," he comments on the way you dressed tonight in a black silk dress with a high slit on the side.
"Spin for me, baby," he requests.
You take your hand away so you can do it for him, spinning on your feet. You show off your dress and make a few poses for him, doing it so confidently that it's undeniably sexy to him.
"Mmh... yeah, the finest girl in the retreat!" He praises.
You're laughing looking at his exaggerated facial expression, then melt onto his lap, letting him hold you tightly. Chan kisses the top of your head and whispers, "You're my number one."
After all, the word 'loyal' is what he likes to be associated with.
-
CHRIS: I don't think there's anybody else that could walk in here and turn my head at all. She's the one.
-
With his open arms, Chan is ready to catch you as you jump onto the bed at him. He locks his arms around you, then peppers your shoulder and neck with little kisses.
"Good job, Chris!" Alicia beams from the next bed.
He sees that she's still sharing the bed with Pierre, and he says back to her, "Good job, Alicia!"
The date was certainly a test but it's not much about temptations, it made Chan realize how much he likes you and he doesn't want to be with anyone else in this retreat but with you.
As he looks at you while you're lying next to him, he wonders if you feel the same too. He softly brushes your hair to the side and gently kisses your cheek, "Goodnight, baby!"
The lights are out and you snuggle into him, hooking your leg around him with your foot rubbing his shin. You place a long kiss on his neck before lowly whispering to him, "I'm glad you're back."
Chan quietly smiles in the dark of the room, "With you," he continues the sentence for you.
"With you," you repeated his words instead of putting it into a whole sentence.
He turns his head and he can easily land a kiss on your forehead, "Me too."
It's getting suspicious that your hand that was resting on his chest is slowly going lower and lower. You're probably waiting until everyone else is fast asleep to do something.
You nuzzle your head further into his neck to kiss him there, your hand is inching closer to the waistband of his boxer.
"Mmh..." he warns you with a hard squeeze on your waist.
You bring your mouth close to his ear and playfully bite on his ear shell, ignoring his warning by slipping your hand into his boxer.
Chan can stop you by putting your hand away but he knows you want to make him feel good and he simply can't resist you.
"Oh, you're so bad," he says it so low it's almost like a whisper.
He closes his eyes the moment your hand meets his semi-hard cock, "You're so bad," he says again but does nothing to stop you.
"I know," you reply to him, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly stroking it.
Chan draws you closer to his side with his hand fisting the back of your camisole as he begins enjoying the stimulation you're giving him.
"Impressive," you seductively sigh into his ear after exploring every inch of his hardening cock.
One compliment is enough to make him extremely aroused. He feels your thumb circling the tip of his cock before pumping it up and down with your hand at a steady pace.
Chan holds it in as long as he could but after days passed without getting a release, his self-control hits the lowest peak and he cums only after a few minutes.
"That wasn't even my good hand," you whisper with a low giggle.
He turns to look at you and jokingly says, "What good hands, mmh? You don't have any."
Chan knows he's a few minutes late to pull your hand out of his boxer, he then playfully bites at your fingers, "They're all bad hands. Bad, naughty hands!"
As you lowly laugh at his reply, he presses a kiss on your open mouth and draws you closer to him, feeling your body molds into his again.
-
CHRIS: [Bites lip] I can only hope that we didn't get caught.
-
"Morning," Chan croaks with a soft kiss on your cheek.
You get up right away a moment after the lights are turned on, sitting with your back against the headboard then ties your hair into a messy bun.
Still gathering his senses, Chan decides to rest his head on your lap and put your hand in his hair so you can play with it.
You give his curls a ruffle and brush it with your fingers, "Is this your natural hair?"
What you're doing is comforting him so that he can only hum in response, "Mmh."
He turns his head to the side and sees you looking down at him, "Do you like it?"
You tenderly cup his cheek in your hand, "Mmh. I like it."
Chan takes your hand to kiss the inside of your hand and wrist, his heart skips a beat at the melodic chime that comes from the cone.
Thankfully, it's Lana with her usual morning greeting and wishing the new guests a good day on their first day in the retreat. Chan thought that the first day was the hardest, but now he learned that he lost a bit of his self-control on each day spent in this retreat. What happened last night is the proof of it.
"How was your sleep, Nick, Olivia?" Lola asks the new guests who shared the bed.
"To be honest, I'm hoping it was all just a dream," Nick answers.
Everyone painfully laughs at the satire. Chan honestly still wishes that it was only just a dream but instead of that, he got used to the cameras recording everything he does in the retreat.
"Is there anyone you like here?" Luke asks either Olivia or Nick.
Chan doesn't need to worry about Olivia anymore. Guess, she has seen that he's with you which automatically makes her stop pursuing him. It's the other guest that he worries about, he notices that he's been secretly stealing glances at you.
"Mmh..." you moan as you hug him tight before getting up from the bed to start the day.
-
CHRIS: She worried for me last night but that's not quite convinced me if she feels the same way. I'm a little worried that her head will turn.
-
His fear turns real when Chan gets back to the villa from swimming and finds you chatting with the new guy in the bathroom.
Chan lingers at the doorway to catch glimpses of the conversation, catching him compliments you and you're laughing at him.
"I think there's something between us," Nick says.
"You think?"
Nick laughs and says, "I just can tell."
You're only softly laughing and not denying it. Chan decides that it's time to enter the scene so he walks into the bathroom not saying anything but gets himself a towel from the rack.
Chan turns around and looks at you, slightly nodding at Nick. The uncomfortable forcing Nick to leave the bathroom which is the only right decision there is.
You're slyly smiling at him as you lean against the sink, "Hey..."
Chan doesn't answer but keeps drying his body with the towel. He wants to see what you're going to do with this suffocating silence.
You come up to him and slip your hands under his arm, hugging him, looking up at him with your puppy eyes. You try to get his attention by kissing his neck and placing a wet kiss on his collarbone.
"Mmh... salty," you say with a giggle.
Without warning, he hoists you up and carries you on his shoulder. He slaps on the back of your thigh while looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
"Bad girl!" He slaps you again on the other thigh, sending you squealing and laughing with your head hung upside down behind him, "You bad, bad girl!"
He slaps your ass cheek this time and asks you again, "Funny, huh?"
Yet you keep laughing, only grabbing at his arm for support. Chan turns his head to bite on the flesh of your ass cheek, "Is it still funny?" He asks again.
"Uh-huh!" You cheekily answer.
-
CHRIS: She's really bad... I need to tame her. Wish me luck though [Grins]
-
Lana throws a welcome party for the new guests and everyone is wearing red for the theme.
Chan wears a sleeveless top with his dark slacks while you're dressed in a red dress with a low neckline that barely covers your breasts.
However, the party can't stop the imminent threat of Lana telling everyone about the things you both did last night. Chan can only mentally prepare himself for it and gulps his drink in silence.
"So, what do DJs actually do?" You suddenly ask him, sitting on his lap like always.
Chan remembers he once mentioned his job as a music producer but you only focused on his side job as a DJ, "Huh?" He asks in confusion since you asked out of the blue.
You put your drink away and put your hand on his shoulder, "You guys made the mix beforehand, right? So when you're on the stage, you know DJing, you just need to play that mix," you concisely put what a DJ does as if it sounded that simple.
Chan can tell you everything there is about DJing that is more complex than what you've just said but he can only laugh at it and it helps him to take his mind off things, "Yeah, kind of."
You squeeze his shoulder and say, "If that's the case then I want to be a DJ too."
He rubs his hand down your spine and rests it on the arch of your back, "You can be whatever you want."
"Mmh," you hum as you sip your drink, "We can make a duo, you and me, DJing together."
Chan is having a good laugh about it when the music abruptly stops playing then the familiar chime comes in through the speakers.
"Please could everyone gather in the cabana immediately!"
-
CHRIS: Oh, fuck, I'm shitting it.
-
You're looking so calm sitting next to him, unaware of what's going to happen once the cone starts talking. Chan tries to put on a cool face as well, leaning back on his seat with his hand resting on your thigh.
"I've gathered you all to remind you that this retreat is for finding deeper connections, not just physical ones," Lana speaks.
The long pause between the lines is making Chan even more nervous, his hand is getting sweaty yet you hold it tightly on your lap.
"This information is not getting through to some guests. There has been a breach of the rules," Lana announces.
Alicia smacks her lips together and asks, "Who was it?"
The hunt for guilty faces is on and of course, everyone is looking at them. Chan is planning to admit it real quick, ripping the band-aid all at once but someone gets ahead of him.
"A while ago..." Iain says, "Literally a few minutes ago, I kissed Olivia."
Lola slaps her forehead and sighs, "Oh, my God!"
Olivia only shrugs in response, not showing any remorse or guilt on her part.
"The kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana informs.
"Nice!" Lola adds a snide comment.
Everyone is pissed because Olivia spent some money when she has only been here for less than two days. Chan gets the picture of how things would be when he comes forward.
"Oh, I need another drink," Luke says.
"That is not all!" Lana makes everyone hold their breath once more.
-
CHRIS: Okay, here we go... [sighs]
-
"Last night, there was another breach of the rules."
There's no way out of it, everyone is going to know whether he decides to tell or not. Chan takes a deep breath and another one and...
"It was me," you confess.
"Oh, shit..." Pierre drags the curse word and leers at Chan.
Lola looks at you and asks, "What did you do this time, babe?"
You glance at Chan before looking back at everyone, "There was a kiss and..."
You lick your lips and hold on to his hand on your thigh, "I gave him a handy."
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Jace exclaims, then bursts into laughter.
"We may as well go home. We have no money left!" Jane says with a dramatic sigh.
"I wanted to show Chris what he's been missing for going on that date, so... I'm sorry," you conclude with an apology.
It's not a good time to get lovey-dovey but he is swooning. You're fearlessly owning up to your mistakes and openly explaining the reason why you did it.
You may bring out the bad in him but he can see that there's a genuine connection there. He doesn't want to sit there and watch as everyone is attacking you.
"We're sorry, okay?" Chan apologizes once again on behalf of you.
Thankfully, Lana takes over the situation.
"What you did goes against the purpose of the retreat. Therefore a further $14,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes up with the calculated damage.
Lola is groaning and squirming like someone has set her body on fire, "Oh, God!"
"The prize fund now stands at $135,000."
Chan grips your hand hearing how much money have lost from the initial amount and have a hard time reeling from it.
As if that wasn't enough of torture, Lana calls your name and his.
"You have broken most rules since arriving at the retreat. You must now prove that your connection is more than just purely physical."
You're looking at him and he sees panic in your eyes, kind of figuring out what Lana is going with it.
"You will face the ultimate test of chastity by spending the night alone in the private suite."
Chan gulps air and feels hot all of a sudden. Without looking, he can feel everyone's eyes are drilling holes in his head.
-
CHRIS: I want to prove to everyone that we do have a genuine connection but at the same time, we're going to the private suite... [whistles] it's going to be hard.
-
Everyone is emitting negative energy and that only makes Chan can't stand another second being in the same room with them.
"Please make your way to the suite!" Lana commands.
Chan shoots up from the sofa and offers his hand to help you get up, "Come on, babe!"
He just can't wait to get away from everyone and not be around them. He leads the way to the private suite that is located in a different part of the villa.
Chan slowly pushes the door to the suite and the smell of scented candles welcomes him. He holds the door open for you and you gasp at the sight of the big bed with a silk sheet on it.
"Oh, they want us to fail, babe," you say as you slowly lay yourself down on the bed.
Chan stands at the end of the bed and looks at you, lying with rose petals scattered around you.
"So beautiful," he murmurs.
He puts his knee against the mattress to hover above you, taking his time to admire your beautiful face with admiration in his eyes, "Stop looking so beautiful!" He says in a frustrated tone.
You smile at him and draw his body closer, sending him toppled on top of you.
"So, tell me..." you lowly speak with your hand going under his top.
"Tell you what?" He says as he plants a soft kiss on your neck.
"What are we doing tonight, Chris?" You ask.
You rarely call him by his name but when you do, it does things to him. He has so many things he wants to do to you but sadly, they are all against the rules.
-
CHRIS: Lana wasn't kidding when she said it's the ultimate test... [shakes head] [sighs]
-
The bath is ready and Chan is leaning against the sink, watching you taking every piece of clothing off you.
You look confident in your body and that's just a whole different level of sexy to him. You're smiling, noticing that he's been ogling at your body, up and down, for so many times he lost count of it.
"Why are you just standing there?" You ask while twisting your hair and securing it with a hair claw.
He shakes his head with his cheeks blushed from how horny he is, "You're so gorgeous," he praises.
You come up to him and kiss him on the cheek, close enough to the corner of his mouth, "Don't make me wait."
You get in the tub first and slowly lower yourself into the warm, scented water to not slosh it out of the tub.
You fill two champagne flutes with the bubbly wine while Chan is removing his clothes in under a minute. You look at him as he stands there in all his glory. He notices the glance you made at his semi-hard cock.
"You like what you see?" He asks.
You pull your feet up so he can take the spot on the other end of the tub and then you can rest your feet on his legs.
"Oh, I want to get a taste now," you tell him with a flirty wink.
Chan bursts into laughter to mask how nervous he is inside. He's snaking his hand under your thigh to hold you there.
"You're hard right now," you remark out of nowhere.
It's obvious, he can even see right through the milky water that his cock is fully erected and you're not asking, you know it's true.
"What should we do about it?" He asks.
You sip your wine and lick your lips, "That depends on how much money we want to spend tonight," you tell him.
Oh fuck, it's going to be one hell of a night!
-
CHRIS: [Sighs] Uh... I think I need a loan statement.
-
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Chan is still buzzing from the studio, music half-finished in his mind, veins running on caffeine and creative energy. He unlocks the apartment, not expecting anything except you, pajamas, maybe a half-eaten snack left on the counter.
Instead, he finds you awake, perched at the edge of the bed in just his shirt, legs bare, eyes soft, hair messy. You look up, and the exhaustion in him short-circuits.
“Hey, baby,” he says, voice already dropping as he shrugs off his jacket.
You just smile, curling your finger for him to come closer. “Tough night?” you ask.
“Long night,” he sighs, toeing off his shoes. “I missed you.”
He doesn’t even get the rest of the words out before you’re in his lap, straddling him, your hands tangling in his hair. His breath hitches.
“You know what I was thinking about?” you murmur, your lips brushing his. “Every single song you write about me on top.”
He laughs, flustered and a little cocky. “You know me too well.”
You roll your hips into him, feeling him harden through his sweats.
“Show me,” you whisper.
He grins, all dimples and dark eyes, but you can feel how much he’s already shaking for you. “God, you wanna ride me that bad?”
You just nod, grinding down, slow, teasing. “I wanna make you lose your mind.”
He exhales, hands clutching your hips. “You always do.”
You peel off his shirt, his fingers still gripping your thighs, thumbs stroking circles into your skin like he can’t get enough. You’re the one in control, but Chan makes it impossible not to melt for him, he’s already worshipping, already mumbling, “So fucking pretty, you know that? All mine, yeah?”
You smile, reaching between you to tug down his sweats, freeing him, hard, hot, heavy in your palm. You stroke him, slow, making him gasp. He catches your wrist, kissing your knuckles, then your palm, then up your arm until you’re squirming.
“Get on, baby,” he says, voice rough. “Come on, sit. Let me watch you.”
You line him up and sink down, slow, letting the stretch drag a whimper from your lips. He groans, head falling back, jaw tight.
“Fuck, you feel so good, so fucking good, baby. You’re perfect. Always take me so well, don’t you?”
You ride him slow at first, rolling your hips, letting him feel every inch. His hands are everywhere, your hips, your ass, up your spine to cup the back of your neck.
“That’s it,” he whispers. “Just like that. Look at you, angel, you’re so beautiful on top of me, never get tired of it.”
You start bouncing, picking up the pace. He grabs your hips, guiding you, meeting you thrust for thrust. His eyes are locked on yours, his mouth parted.
“Don’t look away,” he pants. “Wanna see your face when you come. Wanna watch you take everything.”
His words go straight to your core. You ride him harder, chasing the friction, letting your nails dig into his chest. Chan grins, loving the sting.
“Yeah, baby? That’s it, show me how much you want it. You wanna make me lose it? You wanna be the only thing I write about for the rest of my life?”
You nod, desperate. “Yes, yes, fuck, Chan, please..”
He bites his lip, letting out a broken moan. “Such a good girl. My perfect girl. No one does it like you.”
He palms your breasts, thumbing over your nipples, worshipping every inch of you as you bounce in his lap. The slap of skin, your moans, his rough praise, all of it is dizzying.
“Faster, baby. Come on. You’re so close, I can feel it. I wanna feel you come for me.”
You lose the rhythm, hips jerking, thighs shaking, chasing your own high. Chan just holds you, lets you use him, mouth on your throat, murmuring:
“That’s it, cum for me, cum on my cock, baby, I love you, I love you, I love you..”
You shatter around him, clenching, gasping his name as your whole body tightens, trembling with release. Chan loses it, hips stuttering up, cursing into your mouth as he spills inside you, so deep it aches.
But you’re not done.
You keep moving, grinding down, overstimulating him on purpose. He bucks, hands gripping your hips so hard you know there’ll be bruises.
“Fuck..babe, babe, I..‘m sensitive..shit..”
You just smile, rolling your hips, leaning in to kiss him. “Again. You can give me another, can’t you, Channie?”
He whimpers, completely gone. “I’ll do it, I’ll give you anything you want. Just..ride me. Take what you need. Use me, please.”
You start again, slow at first, then rougher. Chan’s thighs are trembling, his whole body tight as a bowstring, sweat shining on his skin. He’s begging now, sweet, ruined, needy, “That’s it, yeah, fuck, just like that..baby, you feel so fucking good, you’re gonna make me come again..”
You clamp down, moving harder, grinding until he’s breathless, his head buried in your shoulder.
“Look at me,” you order.
He obeys, eyes blown wide, lips swollen.
“Good boy,” you murmur. “Come for me again, Chan.”
He moans, louder than before, and comes undone a second time, shuddering, almost sobbing into your neck as you milk every drop from him.
After, you collapse against his chest, both of you panting, skin slick with sweat.
Chan wraps his arms around you, holding you close, peppering your shoulder with kisses.
“Holy fuck,” he breathes. “You’re gonna break me.”
You giggle, stroking his hair. “Then you better write a song about it.”
He laughs, pulling you close, voice still shaky but full of love. “I already did, baby. I already did.”
You stay like that, tangled up, safe in his arms, his praise echoing in your ears..“So proud of you. So fucking in love with you. My muse. My everything.”
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (9,5k words)
Author's note: Here you go! Let me know if you want me to write another 'season' of Too Hot To Handle with another skz member x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
LANA: I'm not only putting the two to the test by sending them to the private suite tonight, I'm doing a test of trust to the rest of my guests.
If they believe that they wouldn't break any rules, the $33.000 will be returned to the prize fund.
However, if they put their trust in them and they go on to break any rules, the prize fund will drop by a further $33.000.
-
The night has just started and you already feel like folding before him.
As you lay on the bed looking up at him, his eyes travel down your body and undress you in the process, making you feel naked even though you still have your clothes on.
"Stop looking so sexy," he says, collapsing onto the bed next to you.
How do you not think of sex when everything in the room is pointing at it?
Not forgetting to mention that Felix is looking so fine tonight. He's wearing a sleeveless white top that showcases his toned body and his dark hair is brushed to the back with a few strands falling over his forehead. This gorgeous man has his eyes on you and you have all of his attention on you, only you.
Teasing used to be your favorite game to play and tonight, you want to know if you still have the game in you.
You hook your finger on the opening of his shirt and lowly ask, "What do you want to do first?"
From the way he needs a moment to give you an answer, he must have so many ideas in his head.
"First, I'll take your clothes off," he says.
"Yep."
He puts his hand on your waist, "Then I'll give you head."
"And I'll return the favor after," you quickly add, showing him that you like to play fair, including on the bed.
You see his eyes light up at your offer, "and after that..."
You use the triangle eye trick of looking at his eyes, then down to his lips, and when he's about to notice, return to look at his eyes again.
"And after that?" You repeat his words with a low, sultry voice.
His eyes shift to the selection of fun things on the bedside table, condoms, lubricants, and sex toys.
"We'll do some more foreplay. Use a sex toy or two," his voice is getting deeper the more he lets his imagination run wild.
To close the gap, you turn to lay on your stomach and lean in close to his face. Lowering your voice as you ask, "And after that?"
It doesn't take a genius to know that he's imagining it in his head as he delivers those bad yet sexy ideas. He takes a deep breath and then gives you the only right answer there is.
"Sex," he says.
He glides his hand down your spine and rests it on the curve of your ass, "Lots and lots of sex."
So far, you like all of the plans he has for you and you're tempted to give all that to him, "What are you waiting for then?"
-
YOU: I promise to not break any rules but I didn't say that I'll be good [smirks]
-
The night is still far from done but Felix is already put to a hard test.
He calms himself and pushes all the lewd thoughts away. He takes his hand back and puts it on your shoulder, twirling your hair in his fingers.
"We can't break any rules tonight," he reminds you but it's also a reminder to himself.
"I know," you say but manage to pop open two buttons on his shirt without him knowing.
Frustrated by the things he wants to do but he's not allowed to, Felix lays back on the bed and groans. After a while, he rolls over and eclipses half of your body with his.
"What do you want to do then, baby?" You ask again when all the ideas in his head at the moment are bad.
He lifts his head and brings his mouth close to your ear, "I want to have you in my mouth."
You giggle hearing his naught request and slip your hand under his shirt, touching the warm skin on his back.
"How about a bath?" You suggest.
What makes you think seeing you naked is going to help him? But he finds himself agreeing to it with a nod.
-
FELIX: I'm going to mess up, am I? [Closes eyes]
-
The wine fizzles and spurts out of the bottle the second Felix pops open the bottle of champagne.
He brings the bottle to the bathroom and holding two champagne flutes in the other hand, sees you running the bath with bubbles forming on the surface of the water.
You chug a glass of wine in one go and turn the faucet off once the bath is ready.
You know what looks best on you? Confidence. You maintain eye contact with him as you strip all of your clothes right in front of him, brazenly sending his brain into overdrive.
You've been wearing nothing underneath that dress and he could have touched you there without him knowing.
Felix can't wrap his head around the fact that you're undeniably sexy and hot and attractive. It's overwhelming that he bites his fist.
You carefully step into the tub not to slosh the water and fill your glass with more wine, "You're not getting in?"
Felix is barely functioning, he has to force his brain to work and unconsciously move like he's no longer in control of his body. He removes his clothes and gets into the other end of the tub.
"Isn't it nice?" Your foot is rubbing his shin under the water and it's getting dangerous as you stretch it out, closer to his hardening member.
Felix has to pull your foot out of the water to stop you and gently bites on your toe as a way to get back at you, earning a shriek from you.
"Is it delicious?"
"I have to taste it again," he says, putting your toe into his mouth and sucking on it.
-
FELIX: I get a feeling that she enjoyed teasing me.
-
The lingerie you packed with you served its purpose.
The fabric is sheer and lacey, covering bits of your body yet exposing just enough to arouse your conquest.
Felix has his hands tucked under his pillow and you believe is to prevent them from touching you.
He's helpless as you're straddling him on the bed, your hand is on his chest and your head is thrown to back as you drain your glass of champagne.
Now with your attention back on him, Felix gets nervous once again, looking like he's about to break under your lustful gaze.
"Are you hard?" You lowly ask, lightly rubbing his abs with your fingertips.
Felix has been taking low, deep breaths but it seems like no matter how many sighs he lets out, it doesn't help him relax.
"You're sitting right on my boner, baby," he shamelessly answers.
Well, you can feel it poking under you, that's the result of the things you've been doing to him. Not sure if you're proud of that but it seems like you still got the game in you.
You flash him a sly smile and lean in, sending the end of your hair brushing his bare chest as you deeply stare into his eyes.
"Why aren't you touching me?" You ask as if you didn't know the answer already.
His teeth faintly bite his lower lip, you're really making it hard for him. He relents, taking his hands from under the pillow to rest them on your thighs.
"You want me to break rules, mmh?" He lightly pinches the flesh there and kneads on it.
There's a way to answer that. You drag your hand down his abdomen and stop once your fingers meet the waistband of his boxer, mischievously teasing him by tugging your fingers into it.
-
YOU: It's a double-edged sword. Teasing him makes me horny too.
-
The lights are about to go out soon.
Felix turns you over and has you caged between his arms, looking at your face, oblivious to the fact that his blood is rushing to that one part of his body and it wants what it wants.
He's so hard he feels faint and you're being irresistible right now, giving him the eyes all night.
"I'm so horny," you whine as you put your hands around his neck.
Again, it's not helping him with his urges. Letting him know that you want this too only makes him want to give it to you.
"Oh, you have no idea!" Felix mutters with a heavy sigh.
The mewl you let out as Felix puts his whole body on top of you arouses him so much. He wants to do more than just put his body on top of you, especially since this is the first time you and him have privacy in the villa. Sans the camera in every corner of the room, of course!
"How about we do it?" He asks with his mouth pressed close to your ear.
You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer, moaning as he places a hot kiss on your neck.
"This is bad," you say, tugging at his hair but it's a fruitless effort to stop him from turning to the other side and kissing your neck again
"Oh, yes..."
-
FELIX: I really want to spend money [bites lips]
-
Felix watches as you space out, still gathering your senses after waking up from a long yet incredible night.
When you're fully awake, you turn to look at him and softly smile.
He looks so cute with his hair tousled and his freckles look even more apparent on his bare face.
"Bedhead," you shortly say, tidying the mess on his hair by combing it with your fingers.
He does the same to your hair, untangling the end of your hair with his fingers.
"What do you think of last night?" You casually ask but he can hear your sly smile without having to look.
He kisses your head and inhales the smell of your shampoo, "Very eventful," he answers.
-
YOU: We barely got any sleep last night.
-
To make the best of the time in the suite, Felix decides to pamper you with one thing that he knows he's good at. He waits as you take your bra off then lie down on your stomach so he can give you a back massage.
He kneels on the bed, trapping your body between his legs, and begins to slowly lather your skin in aromatic oil, applying enough pressure on your back to relax your muscles even though he's doing it just to feel you all over.
"Oh, that feels good," you delightfully sigh.
He knows what he's doing but the moans you let out oh... sending his head going places.
Felix lowers his hands to your hips and only lets himself go that far, even though it would be a good chance to knead on your ass too.
"Oh, yeah..." you moan again as he massages your shoulders as you sit in front of him, clutching on a bathrobe to cover your bare chest.
Felix is more than eager to please you and wants to hear more of your beautiful moans, but it's time to get ready for the day.
-
FELIX: I don't know how we're going to face everyone [lets out a long sigh] I'm a little worried.
-
Everyone else is already waiting in the cabana.
Felix holds your hand as you both make your way there and after seeing them, he immediately feels guilty and looks away from them.
"So?" Jamie asks him with a voice tinted with concern.
Felix shrugs and looks down, "I'll let Lana talk," he says.
Lana chimes in just right on time, the cone lights up and starts talking without greeting
"Last night, I put you to a test to see if you can adhere to my rules while alone in a suite."
Cole sucks air through his neat, white teeth, "we're screwed, aren't we?" He mutters under his breath.
"But that's not all. I also give your fellow guests a test of trust in you."
-
YOU: What the hell?
-
"I can now reveal the group chose to trust you," Lana informs.
Felix is lost and tries to find any clues from everyone but they seem to be in their panic mode to care to explain it to him.
"Which means if you adhered to my rules, you will win back the $33.000 you lost yesterday. However, if you break a single rule, a further $33.000 would be deducted from the prize fund."
His jaws hung open, he didn't know that Lana would do this behind him, putting him at risk of doing severe damage.
"Guys..." he says in disbelief.
"You stake that much money on us?"
Cole shrugs and chooses not to answer him.
-
FELIX: [Pinches the bridge of his nose] This is not good.
-
Since no one can get any clues from him, they turn to you and Maeve is the first one to take her shot.
"You didn't break any rules, right babe?"
You uneasily glance at Felix and sigh, also refusing to answer.
Lana takes over the situation again, "Both of you were very busy last night."
He can hear frustrated groans from everyone in there.
"The question is: Did you break the rules?"
Felix grabs your hand to seek comfort from you and prepares himself for what's coming.
"I can now reveal..."
Lana is dragging it to build suspense and possibly, a cliffhanger to end the episode.
"I must tell the group that..."
-
YOU: Lana, just get it over with. Please?
-
"They did not break any rules."
Felix finally can drop his act of putting on a guilty face and laughs as he watches everyone celebrating him for not having sex. He never thought he would experience this in life.
Cole comes running and hugs him, "I am so proud of you, man!"
Once everyone has taken their turns to hug and congratulate him, they're back in their seats.
"I'm not going to sit and act like it was easy. I almost folded, a few times," Felix confesses with a proud smile.
Killian nods in agreement, "I bet, mate, I bet."
"I am pleased to announce that you have both passed my test. Therefore, the prize fund has been reimbursed by $33.000 and now stands at $119.000."
It's like everyone got charged with more energy but Felix fears that now the money is back, they want to spend it on themselves.
"As a reward for passing my test, I'm sending you on a date this afternoon," Lana announces before saying goodbye.
-
FELIX: I am determined to prove that what we have is not just a physical connection and we proved that today.
-
The boys are so curious about last night that they don't wait to ask about the details.
"How did you do it?" Josh asks.
Felix snorts then answers, "Well, it wasn't easy."
Cole is so enthusiastic to hear about everything, probably because he's busy being a sex cop makes him forget to have some fun of his own.
"It was hard. Literally and figuratively," Felix shares with a deep laugh.
"At one point, I thought I was going to pass out," he adds.
That sends everyone burst into laughter, making fun of his suffering but in return, he gets the satisfaction from making them jealous.
-
YOU: I'm looking forward to our date. I'll use this chance to get to know him better and make some real connections.
-
It will be your second date together with Felix but you feel more nervous than the first one.
It gets worse when he sees you walking out of the make-up room, smiling at the sight of you. You're wearing a white sundress and tied your hair into a bun, exposing the nape of your skin because you know he likes to kiss you there.
"Gosh! You're so beautiful," he says as he kisses you on the cheek.
"The most beautiful girl," he corrects his first remark with a smile that doesn't wear off even for a second.
You drop your hand to let him hold it, clasped it together as you both walk to the spot where they have prepared a nice picnic at the beach.
He helps you sit on the picnic mat and takes out the food from inside a basket while you set it in the space between. He pops open a bottle of chilled champagne for a start and proposes a toast.
"Here's to making real connections!"
You clink your glasses together and take a sip at the same time. You pick on sliced fruits and feed them to him, licking your fingers after you shove a whole strawberry into his mouth.
-
FELIX: I'm on a date in a beautiful place with the most beautiful girl in the retreat.
-
Felix notices that you've been looking at him long enough it starts to make him nervous.
"Trying not to kiss me, huh?" He jokingly says with a sly grin plastered on his face.
You take a sip of your champagne before putting it away, centering your focus on him, "I get the impression that you're a man of physical affection," you say.
The observation is not wrong. Felix has always been a man of physical affection, that's his love language.
"I grew up in a very affectionate family. Hugs, kisses... we do all that. I even kissed my mum before leaving to come here," he admits with a shy smile.
"Don't be embarrassed. I think that's adorable," you tell him while picking a sliced melon from the bowl.
"I grew up with a belief that affection isn't affection without actions, you know?"
You nod as you chew and you wipe your hand with a napkin.
"With Lana and the rules, it's so hard for me... how am I going to make a connection without touching?" He explains and leans back with his hand propped next to him.
"Like... I can tell you 'I like you' so many times but I don't think that's enough for me, I have to show you either through a hug or a kiss..." his words trail off as he's aware that he has just opened up to you and he feels something that he hasn't feel for a long time.
You sit straighter, folding your legs to the side, and look into his eyes, "I understand."
-
YOU: The last relationship I had made me scared to try to open my heart to someone.
-
The sun is slowly setting for the day and the wind is blowing warm, salty air, sending your hair floating in the air.
One bad experience doesn't mean that the next one is going to be as bad. A relationship should start with an open heart and if you can't let him in, how is he going to know how you feel?
This will be the first time you share personal things with someone and perhaps, more people through the broadcast. You lick your lips before sharing that bad experience with him, "I went through like a nasty break-up last year. My ex used all my money, maxed my credit cards, and left me with a debt that I didn't even know I had until we separated ways."
You sip your wine before continuing and put all of your hair to the back as it keeps flying from the breeze.
"So, not only that I have trust issues. I have a financial problem and that two hundred thousand dollars can truly fix my life," you tell him.
You softly gaze into his eyes as you continue speaking, "I was planning on not to spend any money here but after the previous thing..."
You avoid putting Jamie in the sentence and pause mid-sentence instead.
"I learned that I shouldn't be doing that. Obsessing over the money stops me from making real connections."
Felix nods and holds your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and it's nice that he chooses to listen and not judge.
"Me willing to break rules with you tells you of how much I like you."
What you're going to say next is a hard thing to do but you want to give him the chance, "And I decide to trust you."
This moment is special. By you telling him your problems and your feelings to him, that means, you're willing to let him in
"I think what we have, it's worth fighting for."
-
FELIX: I am beyond happy that she shares her thoughts and feelings with me. I think I... fall in deeper [grins]
-
His heart palpitations with the way you honestly speak to him and he feels like screaming his joy out to the world, but for now, he allows himself to smile from ear to ear.
"I appreciate that you're telling me this," Felix sincerely says.
You smile at him and he wishes that he can kiss you to prove how much he's thankful for your honesty and the chance you give him.
Just like Lana reads his mind, both of your watches chime and turn green.
"Oh!" You gasp in surprise and show him the watch.
Felix automatically looks at his watch too to confirm that it's not some malfunction so he can proceed to do what he wants without spending some money.
You crawl over to him and he wastes no time cupping your face, holding your face as he places his lips on yours.
The kiss feels so exceptional, tender yet intense, all-consuming, he feels like exploding with the warm feelings flooding his chest.
He pulls away from the kiss to catch a breath and checks the watch if it's still green.
"It's still green," you tell him.
Felix gently holds your chin to softly peck your lips, making the most of the green light to pour his heart out through kisses.
"I like you so much it's crazy," he mutters between pecks.
You smile back at him and are about to answer when he interrupts you with a long peck.
"I like you but—"
He stops you from continuing with another peck.
"We have to stop breaking the rules, okay?"
Felix scoffs because he knows that he caused most of the rulebreaks and nods, but now you know the real reasons why he broke the rules and he knows that your true feelings for him.
There's no use for him to break any rules.
"Okay," he agrees.
-
YOU: It feels good to know that Lana acknowledged our growth by giving us the first green light in the retreat.
-
The date was close to perfect if it wasn't for the cameras filming it but that doesn't stop you from enjoying it.
Felix is carrying your shoes after seeing you struggling to walk in the sand in them, walking back to the house feeling impatient to tell everyone that the two of you got the first green light in the retreat.
"Oh, they're back!" Poppy announces their arrival.
Everyone is already on their bed when you both walk in, you sit on the end of Maeve's bed while he sits on Jamie's bed across from yours.
"So, how was the date?" Heidi impatiently asks.
"We had a picnic, there was wine and food... it was nice," you give a concise description of the date.
"What did you guys do?" She comes up with a nosy question next and does it so innocently.
You laugh at her so Felix takes it over for you, "We had talk and making some real connection."
Maeve coo in response and puts her arm around you.
"And we got a green light," he finally announces.
"WHAT?" Maeve shrieks in surprise.
You nod to confirm and laugh as she hugs you from the back.
"I'm so happy for you," she mutters.
And Cole on the other hand points at him, "That's my boy!"
-
FELIX: Good morning! It's another day in paradise!
-
Felix used to be dreading it, locked in a sexless retreat and not allowed to even touch himself.
Now that he's with you, it feels like he's living in a dream. He likes spending all of his time with you and being around you. He likes watching you doing even the most mundane things such as putting on makeup.
"What is this?" He picks up something he hasn't seen before.
You turn away from the mirror and look at it, "it's an eyelash curler."
He looks at it in pure wonder, "How do you use it?"
You put down the brush you're using and turn your chair sideways, "It's like this," you demonstrate to him.
He tries to do the same but fails, he pinches his eyelid instead of curling his eyelash.
You chuckle at him and carefully do it for him, "There you go!"
Felix blinks his eyes a few times and looks at himself in the mirror, "Oh..." he coos in wonder.
He turns to look at you again, "Do the other one," he requests.
You comply without complaining.
"You guys are so cute. Stop it!" Mia says from the side of the make-up table.
That only makes him happy that someone is jealous of both of you and what you have. What can he say? He's the luckiest to find you, here, in a dating show, of all places.
-
YOU: We're so happy that even Lana can't ruin that for me.
-
Lana called us to the cabana as usual.
This time you and Felix can relax knowing that you have both been good. The rulebreaking days are over and way behind him.
But he wouldn't pass on enjoying the drama unfolding as Lana announces further rule break. It reminds him of how he doesn't want to be on the hot seat anymore.
"We kissed last night," Jamie admits his mistake.
Cole is so finished with him that he just stays quiet while Lana announces that another six grands have lost from the prize fund.
"As we approach the end of my retreat, I hope you put your focus on working on yourself and who do you want to be when you return to normal lives."
It's just hit him that he can't live in this retreat and hope things will always be this easy forever.
"Will you continue to grow in relationships or will you revert to your old player ways?"
He's proud that he's changed for the better and chooses to be in a relationship but in the outside world where temptation is in every corner of the way.
"Therefore, I encourage you to use your time together to find out once and for all if you're on the same page."
Fear starts to creep into him, one that he didn't expect to feel when he's just begun to figure things out with you.
"Goodbye," Lana finishes and leaves him in a deep thinking.
-
FELIX: We established things between us and it makes me think of the next thing. It's not uh... I feel nervous to even talking about it.
-
With the retreat nearing its end, Felix starts thinking of things outside of the retreat.
He thinks about what it would be like to come back to real love and tons of questions rush into his head. What he fears the most is the long distance and he knows what it would likely do to a relationship.
All of these thoughts are making him restless, and pessimistic about his future together with you.
"It's going to be so weird not waking up next to you and spending my day with you," you say as you cuddle in the hammock together.
"Yeah..." Felix meekly says.
His mind wanders off to the wrong side of things of what things would be and he starts to unconsciously make an exit plan.
Thankfully, Lana has a workshop planned for all the boys so he can use the time to think by himself. Worse is, it's only got him thinking about it more.
He starts to ask himself if this is what he wants.
-
FELIX: It's like there's this battle of new Felix and old Felix because the old me would run away when things get this serious.
-
Felix is never good at hiding things and you can sense that he's anxious about something.
You turn on the bed to face him and put your hand around him, drawing lazy circles on his back while your other hand gently brushing his hair.
"You seem... different," you lower your voice as everyone else is trying to sleep.
"Is something bothering you?" You ask.
He kisses your shoulder and then your neck, "Nothing," he lies.
You scoot closer to him and put your hand on his chest next, "I'm sad that the retreat is almost over," you say.
It's a relief that he's not the only one feeling sentimental about this when he loathed being put in a sexless retreat on the first day here.
"Me too," he takes your arm by the elbow, putting a trail of small kisses along your inner arm.
"Isn't it weird that... I'm meeting you here?" You lowly chuckle at the end of your sentence.
That makes him chuckle too. The thought that he came from the other side of the world and one day, he met you here.
Felix doesn't believe in fate but he thinks fate has an unexpected way to bring you two together.
"And our meet cute is in the bathroom," he adds.
You put your hand under his white tank to touch his warm skin, "What are we going to tell people when they ask how we met?"
He puts his arm around you and holds you close, "Tell them to watch Too Hot To Handle."
You softly laugh into his chest and remind him of the deed he did a few nights ago, "And let them see you fingering me under the cover?"
Felix often forgets that he's being filmed and it hits him just now that anyone he knows could be watching him.
"I hope my parents are not watching," Felix quietly mutters, then kisses your forehead.
-
YOU: Something is going on with Felix and I don't know... I hope that he's not having doubts about us.
-
First thing in the morning, Lana announces that he's sending all the couples to go on their last dates in the retreat.
It would be wonderful if Felix knew where his head at. He's still haunted by his thoughts of yesterday and he feels bad for not being able to show you a happy face at the announcement.
You playfully nudge his elbow, "I'm excited for our date."
He forced to put on a smile, "Yes."
There are hours left until the date and after a workout session with Alex, he finds himself thinking out loud on the beach with Killian next to him.
"What's going on, Felix?" He asks, brushing his wet hair from taking a dip in the seawater.
He lets out a heavy sigh and stares out at the blue of the sea, "To be honest, I'm a little bit torn about what to do right now."
Killian was there in the workshop with him and knows enough that he has fear of the unknown which is the future of you and him.
"I understand the fear but..." he wipes the beads of water hanging under his chin, "that only means it's important, it's a meaningful thing for you."
-
FELIX: I've been single for some time and it takes a lot of courage for me to go to the next step.
-
A few minutes before it's time for the date, Felix knocks on the wall of the make-up room, seeing you still getting your hair styled by Maeve.
"Hey," he greets.
You smile seeing his head pop in the doorway.
"Are you ready, babe?" He asks.
"Just a minute," you say, letting Maeve finish her task first before coming out of the room.
You keep your head busy by picking which accessories to wear, than trying to guess why Felix acts differently.
Maeve is gently combing your hair with her fingers and looks at you through the mirror, "How do you feel?"
You shake your head and sigh, "I don't know... I don't feel confident about us right now."
You catch the reflection of Maeve frowning in the mirror, "What if it was a bad decision that I opened up to him? What if..." You feel tears welling up and stop you from talking.
She hugs you from the back and thinks of something to cheer you up, "I'm sure it's just about the retreat going to be over soon," she says.
You shake your head again and you can't fight the tears coming out of your eyes anymore, hurriedly dabbing it with a tissue to not let them ruin your make-up.
Maeve squeezes your shoulder, "It's not too late for us to become a couple and win the money."
You crack a laugh and let her finish by spraying your hair, "Don't think too much and try to enjoy the date, okay, babe?"
You nod and hand her the necklaces to help you put them on and clasp them.
"I would love to kiss you again," she says with a grin, complimenting you to make you feel better.
-
YOU: I'll be going on the date and hope for the best [looks down]
-
For this date, they're sending you on a yacht to sail to the middle of the sea, far enough from the villa but still, with cameras surrounding you both.
It's always a good idea to start with a toast after pouring the drink into two wine flutes.
"Cheers!"
However, your observant eyes don't miss seeing the calm he puts on is different from the usual one.
"So... what's going on? You've been quiet the whole day," you tell him then sip your drink.
He gulps air as you put him on the spot "It's obvious, huh?"
You nod and take another sip to continue talking, "I can't help but think that you start to... falter?"
You do see right through him that he's at a loss for words for a moment.
"Uhm..."
-
YOU: What the fuck is going on? I need answers!
-
"I'm a bit lost. I'm sure about what I want," Felix begins.
He puts away his drink, the alcohol not helping him with his jitters.
"We got closer to each other now but at the same time, it made me think about what I really want."
He can see how you're getting so nervous listening to every word coming out of him that the glints in your eyes dim a little.
"Having a relationship means that I need to settle down and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that."
-
YOU: I'm worried for both of us at this point.
-
It's obvious that Felix has been in his head too much to even think of all the possibilities and only focus on the worst outcomes when there are a lot of ways to solve them together.
Before you offer one, you need to ask him one important question.
"Are you happy?"
You ask him again just in case he didn't hear you the first time, "Are you really happy?"
Felix gets quiet for a moment and you give him time to answer you, you know it's more than just a yes or no question. It will determine whether this relationship should go forth or stop everything right here before anyone gets hurt.
Felix doesn't answer but decides to explain himself, "With you know, I live in Australia and you're living in the other part of the world."
So that's what's been bothering his head. He's been thinking of your future together outside of the retreat and that's kind of thoughtful of him.
"How are we going be in a relationship when we're living far away from each other?"
From his slightly quivering voice, you can hear how visceral his fear is.
"There's nothing wrong. It's more about me just trying to figure some things out," he assures you that it's just him overthinking things that got him here.
-
YOU: For a second, I was afraid that Felix would say he wanted out of the relationship.
-
Felix takes a sip of his wine as his throat gets dry from letting out the harsh truth.
"That's what I'm afraid of as well," you say.
You stare into his eyes with your squinted eyes from the bright sun shining down on you, "But we don't need to settle in one place to stay in a relationship."
That he didn't expect to hear from you because he thinks you would ask for some stability or commitment from him.
"You said you're traveling a lot for your job and maybe when I have paid my debts, we can travel together," you say.
A smile blooms on his face as it registers to him that what you said is true. He thinks too much on the negative side of things when things could go his way.
"We still have so much to figure out but as long as we're together and willing to try, we're going to be fine," you add.
-
FELIX: I didn't think that she would say that.
-
"It's a relief that you feel that way," Felix says with a smile still plastered to his face.
Change is indeed scary but it's also exciting. Felix feels so much better knowing that you're willing to try despite the distance that will separate you both.
"I really like you and I want to be around you for a long, long time," he earnestly says
Felix found his want in that sentence, he wants to be with you but he fears that the real world will tear you apart.
"I'm excited for what's going to happen and the future we'll have together," you say.
That puts him at ease and convinces him more of what he wants. He wants more of you.
-
FELIX: I'm always caught up in the moment all the time and I'm just going to say it, stop overthinking things.
-
Chugging a glass of wine to give him courage, Felix looks at you with hopeful eyes and starts speaking.
"With everything we've been through, I am more certain about my feelings so I'm going to say it..."
From the way he gets antsy, you fear that he's going to say something pessimistic about the relationship again.
He takes a deep breath and you mimic him by doing the same.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
You scoff in disbelief and press the back of your hand to your cheek, feeling it heating under your touch.
All day, you've been thinking that Felix having second thoughts about the relationship and next thing you know, he's asking you to be his girlfriend.
It takes you a while to be able to speak, "Do you really mean it?"
"Yeah," he answers with a grin.
"I'm uh... I don't know what to say," you say, nonplussed.
-
YOU: Gosh, is this really happening?
-
Instead of beating faster, Felix feels his heart is slowing down and it will eventually stop beating if you decide to make him wait for your answer any longer.
Your eyes locked in an intense gaze with him and then nod, "Yes."
Swear he can feel his heart skipped a beat just now and it would be a perfect time for a green light, if not, Felix would unwillingly break the rules.
Lucky him, Lana delivers as both of your watches chime at the same time.
"Green light," he foolishly mutters.
You laugh and lean into the middle so he can kiss you. He's putting his hand on your neck to angle your head to deepen the kiss.
When he pulls away, he looks at your face with adoration in his eyes before going for another kiss, a deeper, passionate, and ultimately, romantic kiss that marked the beginning of this relationship.
"I'm less scared now about us going our separate ways once the retreat is over," he says.
The fear is now replaced with confidence that things are going to be alright. A thousand miles away is nothing compared to what you have for each other.
You nod and hold his hand, "I told you, I trust you."
Felix can't stop himself from smiling as warm feelings fill him to the brim, "Oh, I got myself a girlfriend!"
-
FELIX: I was this close to making the worst mistake in my life. I'm glad I didn't.
-
"Look at that stupid smile!" Cole shouts the second he sees Felix coming to the firepit.
"Look at them holding hands!" Heidi squeals.
You both sit next to each other with happiness drawn on your faces.
"So...?" Heidi asks, being her nosy self as usual.
Felix looks at you and decides to be the one answering for both of you. He licks his lips before speaking.
"We went on a boat, and had a long, heartfelt talk," he begins.
He turns to the side to see you smiling, looking at him with sparkly eyes that make his heart flutter.
"We got another green light," he shares with a stupid grin on his face.
Heidi leans forward, ready for any juicy details, "The question is... did you make it official?"
Felix glances at you to seek permission if he should be the one to share another good news.
"He asked me to be his girlfriend," you take over from him.
Heidi leans closer, doesn't want to miss the next answer, "And did you say yes?"
You bite your lip and then excitedly nod.
"Oh, fuck off!" Heidi curses out of jealousy.
"You guys are too cute. Get out of here!" She reclines on the sofa in defeat.
-
FELIX: We've had the best date today and I have the best girl in the retreat as my girlfriend. My life couldn't be more perfect!
-
Felix has springs on his feet, even when he's lying on the bed, he feels like flying.
He likes putting his body on top of you and letting you wrap him in your arms and legs. He's getting even better at controlling himself since it's no use to doubt you now that there's clarity in the relationship.
"It's our last night in the retreat," he mumbles as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.
"Mmh..." You hum in response while lazily scratching the back of his head.
"How about we blow all the money away?" He suddenly comes up with a very mischievous idea to pull a joke at you.
"As much as I want to kiss you. I don't want to waste any more money," you reply.
He looks at you and pouts for shooting his idea down.
"We need it for plane tickets," you remind him.
He nods in agreement and props his elbow next to your head, "Just one kiss," he seduces.
Your hand instantly flies to cover your mouth to prevent any damage from happening.
"I'll still kiss you," he says and kisses the hand blocking your lips.
He repeatedly kisses your hand then all over the face, getting soft in the head for how much he's into you.
-
FELIX: This morning, I reminisced about everything that happened in the last 24 hours and I realized how much she means to me.
-
"LAST DAY OF THE RETREAT! WHOO!" Heidi cheers in her raspy, sleepy voice then yawns.
Felix kisses your forehead as you're snuggling next to him rubbing the sleep of your eyes next to him.
"Someone is going to walk out of this retreat with $113.000!" Killian reminds everyone of what everyone could be at the end of this.
"Oh my, God! $113.000 is a lot!" Maeve says with a cute, surprised expression on her face.
"I'm surprised that we still have that much money," Laura adds.
Jamie points at Cole, "It's all thanks to Officer Cole right there!"
Everyone gave him a round of applause for voluntarily keeping everyone in line and sticking to the rules even though it might have not worked at times.
"I wonder who will win," Alex says.
Felix doesn't think too much about winning the money, he's been so focused on growing in a relationship with you but if he could nominate someone, it will be you.
-
FELIX: Everyone would say I'm biased, but I see her and her growth, how at first, she was scared to open up until she came to the point to let go of all of that when she decided to trust me.
-
Lana chimes in for her morning greeting.
"Welcome to your final day in the retreat."
It feels real now that Lana said that, this will be over soon and he has to say goodbye to this paradise.
"The winner or winners of the $113.000 prize has not been selected yet. Therefore, I encourage you all to use the 12 hours you have left to show me and your fellow guests why you deserve to win."
Felix feels sentimental once more. Despite the stupid rules, this wouldn't have happened without Lana and he wouldn't have met all of these wonderful people.
-
YOU: I'm going to use the best of our last day and enjoy it to the fullest.
-
"Okay guys, since it's the last day..." Maeve pauses talking to find something on the table.
"And before I go home to Ireland," she continues.
She looks at you as you sit on the other side with Felix tidying his locker in the same room.
"I need to ask you one thing," she says.
"Are you asking me?" You ask her, holding your eyebrow pencil mid-air.
"Yes uh..." Maeve leans in as she applies make-up to her eyes.
"Who is the best kisser? Is it me or Felix?" Maeve asks then burst into evil laughter.
Felix snaps his head and turns around his heels to see you, anticipating your answer more than Maeve does.
"Tell her, babe," he says to you, confident that his answer is him.
Without stopping doing your make-up, you answer, "It's a hundred percent, Maeve."
Maeve triumphantly howls and dances on her chair.
Not accepting your answer, he trudges your way and puts his hand around your neck, "It must be because I haven't kissed you in a while, huh?"
You tilt your head to the back and look up at him, "Nope."
He holds the sides of your face and leans in, "I'm going to remind you nonetheless," he jokes, leaning in to kiss you but his lips land on every part of your face except your lips.
-
FELIX: I'm excited for us and makes me want to let her know something I've been meaning to tell her.
-
After the last workshop in the retreat, everyone is called to the cabana.
"Hello, everyone!"
Lana welcomes everyone and goes straight to business.
"The prize fund now stands at $113.000."
"That's a lot of money," Cole comments.
Felix holds your hand because he knows that the money would be a great help to fix your life and he wishes in his heart that you'll make one of the finalists.
"Since your arrival in the retreat, I've been observing your behavior. Your ups and downs, your mistakes and breakthroughs. You all have shown impressive emotional development."
Felix couldn't agree more. He got caught in this bad habit of dating just for fun and look at him now, happy to commit to one girl.
"However..."
Whenever that word falls out of Lana's nonexistent mouth, it's always something not good.
"I have identified three finalists who stand out for their transformative journeys. And just one of them will take home the prize."
Again, Felix doesn't really care about the prize but his heart is racing, endlessly wishing that your name will be called.
"The first finalist is... Heidi!"
Everyone claps for her as she takes a stand.
"The next finalist is... Cole!"
Felix is more than happy for Cole, he's been working harder than everyone else in this retreat. He deserves it so much, other than that, he's a good friend of his.
"And the last finalist is..."
-
FELIX: I hope Lana sees the growth in her and she calls her name. [Clasps hands together]
-
Felix is more nervous than you are, his hand holds you tighter that it starts to sweat.
"Felix," Lana calls his name instead and he glances up in surprise.
"W-what?" He stammers.
But then Lana calls your name after and that's when it registered to him that she nominated you both as a couple to be the last finalist to win the money.
Felix throws his arms around and holds you tight, it's even better that you got nominated together.
He brings his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "Guess we'll be getting those plane tickets."
-
YOU: Wow. Okay? Wait— What? I can't believe I have the chance to win that much money.
-
"All three of you are the finalists. Tonight, one of you will leave my retreat with $113.000."
Felix hears you sniffle next to him and he pulls you for a side hug. You're touched that you're getting closer to what you want and because he knows how much this means to you.
"Please make your way to the dressing room and get yourself ready for tonight's announcement."
Felix holds your hand as all the finalists are being sent to the dressing room and everyone else will have to vote which one they think is the most deserving to win the money.
"It's so surreal!" Heidi shrieks the second he pushes the door to the dressing room.
"This is crazy," Cole is also still in disbelief that he got chosen to be a finalist.
Felix reckons that you need more time to compose yourself, he sits on the single sofa and lets you sit on his lap. He rubs your arms, giving you as much comfort as he can.
"Who do guys think will win between the three of us?" Heidi asks.
You shrug and hold Felix's hand, playing with the rings on his fingers.
"I think it's you, Cole!" Felix says out of courtesy.
"Yeah," Heidi agrees even though she doesn't sound very much like it.
-
FELIX: In all honesty, I think we deserve to win.
-
Everyone is taking their time to get ready for the last hurrah.
The theme is a white party so everyone is obligated to wear white. Felix puts on his white shirt and jeans while you put on a tight white dress with a deep cleavage, looking hot as always.
The only difference is that you look so tense and it's probably because you're nervous thinking about the prize. He stands behind your chair and gently massage your shoulders to help you relax.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers.
"Thank you," you mutter with a soft smile.
You pull his hands and hold them on your chest, looking at the reflection of both of you in the mirror. Felix loves what he sees.
The finalists are once again being isolated in the dressing room while they make the rest waiting outside.
"Whatever happens, I'm so proud of all of you," Cole earnestly says.
Felix offers his hand for a fist bump to him, "So proud of you, man!"
Heidi excitedly giggles and shouts, "May the best one win."
-
FELIX: We brought out the best in each other and are proud of our journey. Forget about the money, I'm leaving with a girlfriend.
-
Everyone welcomes all the finalists with cheers and whistles, taking a turn to hug everyone and greet each other.
"How are you feeling, babe?" Maeve asks you.
You let out a big sigh, "I'm close to having a panic attack," you jokingly answer.
"Good evening, everyone!" Lana as the host of the party, greets everyone.
"During the time in my retreat, you broke the rules 18 times!"
You and Felix look at each other then chuckles at the same time, remembering that the two of you contributed six times out of those eighteen.
"Throughout your stay, I have also observed people commit to the process and ultimately make a significant change."
Everyone is nodding in agreement and silently reminiscing about the time we had in the retreat.
"Finalists, your fellow guests have been voting for which one of you should win. The time has come to announce the winner."
He can feel your hand slightly shaking his and he tries his best to stay calm even though his heart is pounding in his chest.
"Finalists, please stand up!"
Offering his hand to you, you take it to help you get up from the chair and stand close to Lana's cone-shaped body.
"Good luck," Maeve quietly wishes you.
You stand close to each other and Felix rests his hand on the arch of your back, rubbing it up and down your spine to soothe you.
"The votes have been counted and only one of you can take home $113.000."
He looks at you and gets the confidence that no matter what the result is, he'll be alright, you and him will be alright.
"On third place is..."
Felix squints his eyes in fear, getting faint from the anticipation.
"Heidi."
You both look at each other with bewilderment on your faces, can't believe that everyone voted for two of you in the top two.
"And for the first winner is..."
Felix badly needs something to hold on to, he gets behind you so he can hug you from the back and clasp your hands together in front of you.
He flashes a smile at Cole, knowing that the winner is between the two of you and Cole.
"Cole."
Sure, he's disappointed that the two of you didn't win the money but it doesn't cancel out the growth you have gone through together. Mostly, he's thankful to have found you.
He hugs you tight and kisses your cheek, "I'm so thankful for you," he says.
You hug him back and mutter, "You have to help me pay my debts," you joke and rest your head on his chest.
Felix may have lost the money but he feels like a winner having you by his side.
-
FELIX: We didn't win the money but I got the most beautiful girl in the retreat [looks at you]
YOU: [Nods] I still prefer the money though.
FELIX: [Aggressively kisses your neck]
-
Everyone takes another turn to hug and congratulate each other.
It feels real now that the retreat is over and he probably wouldn't meet them again since they're from all over the world.
Cole pops open a bottle of champagne and sprays it at everyone, a few drops landing on his shirt and your hair.
"Congratulations! My retreat rules no longer apply," Lana concludes for the last time.
Felix has so much to say to you but before that, a kiss is what he needs right now.
He cups your face and softly puts his lips on yours, kissing you with such love that his heart rattles in his chest, overflowing with happiness.
-
FELIX: [Looks at you] I'm so proud of you and I... I love you [turns your head to kiss you]
YOU: Well, I love you too. [Chuckles]
FELIX: Really?
YOU: [Nods]
FELIX: [Holds your chin] I love you so much [pecks your lips]
-
The sounds of fireworks going off surprise everyone, lighting up the night sky with bright colors.
He turns you around to watch them together and holds you close, his mouth resting close to your ears.
"I'm so lucky," he whispers with a delightful sigh.
"I couldn't pick a better girl," he adds.
The 'you' that entered this retreat would choose money over him but the 'you' leaving the retreat is different. You grow into someone who's not afraid to try and let someone in, and you're leaving with a boyfriend who is worth more than any material things.
You look to the side to show him how grateful you are for him and pull his face close for a kiss, now that the rules no longer apply, it's your turn to truly show him how much you like him through actions.
Well, in that case, it's going to be a long, long night tonight.
-
FELIX: Can't wait for our life outside of this retreat but for now, it's time to f—
-
Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (9,7k words)
Author's note: I'm sorry guys but I have to leave you with another cliffhanger. The last part will be posted this weekend, feel free to vent in my inbox and enjoy x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
FELIX: I'm just your uh... normal guy. [smiles] Just trying to be a nice guy and do something my mum would be proud of at the end of the day. [snickers] I don't really have any lines, I don't have, like, a strategy to attract girls. Basically, I just walk into a bar and they heard my voice and accent, sorted. I wouldn't say how many girls I've been with [chuckles] uhm... people only focus on the numbers and a gentleman doesn't say. [laughs]
-
Felix has been staring at the surface of the pool long enough that it starts to calm him down. He was nervous a minute ago, waiting for you in anticipation even though he should be relaxed knowing that you said yes to having a date with him.
The date is set in the pool of the villa with a fruit platter and a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice served at the side of the pool. It's not the first time he's going on a date but his pattern of dating is casually meeting someone someplace and taking them home for a hook-up, that's it.
It's going to be hard to change that pattern, especially when he's been trapped in it long enough that it's comfortable. Going on a date and try not to do any physical touches? Felix already has a hard time imagining it.
"Hi, hello!"
Felix's head snaps in your direction and he almost chokes on air seeing you walking toward him in a crimson-red bikini.
"Have you been waiting long?" You ask.
Felix quickly offers his hand to help you get into the pool, slowly engulfing both of your bodies in the lukewarm water from the chest down. The lights from the bottom of the pool casts a bluish glow on your face and with this proximity, he can see your face up close and observes every facial feature you have.
Felix slightly shakes his head in disbelief. You're so perfect from head to toe that he's having a hard time wrapping his head around it and you're right in front of him.
-
FELIX: She's lush! In that red bikini looking like a forbidden apple and I just want to take a bite.
-
"Aren't you going to pour me a drink?" You're eyeing the two empty champagne flutes.
It's obvious he's too busy lusting over your body that he forgot to be a gentleman. You hold the glass as Felix filled them with bubby wine and pours himself a glass after.
"It's so nice!" You compliment.
Again, Felix has to force his brain to cooperate and actively stop himself from looking at your body, "Huh?"
"The date," you say, picking a grape from the plate and shoving it into your mouth, "I've never been on a date this nice before."
Felix gulps his wine to fuel his guts, "me too," he says, reaching for the grape but you get ahead of him.
"Here," you say, bringing a grape close to his mouth and feeding it to him.
He's more than eager to eat it right from your hand and grins as he chews on it while you refill both of your glasses with more wine.
"Thank you for picking me for the date by the way," you tell him with a smile.
Felix clinks his glass with yours, "thank you for saying yes," he thanked you back.
After taking a sip, you put the wine away and focus on him instead, making him nervous as you tilt your head low and look at him through your lashes. It's the classic trick in the book of seduction but you do it effortlessly with a hundred percent rate of success, making him feel like a special man, the only man in the world.
"I was surprised when Lana told me you asked me for a date," you explain.
The water is still enough that Felix can see you scoot closer to him that your knees bumps with him and it takes everything in him not to put his hand on your thigh, "May I know why you chose me?"
Felix has to force his brain to work extra tonight and rakes his hair to the back as if it would help, "I have my eyes on you on the first day," he admits.
Your lips curl into a smile and it's a familiar one that tells you're not buying his words, "yeah?"
Good thing Felix has just the proof of it, "I'm the one who kissed you at the blindfold game," he confidently spills the truth.
You hold a gaze for a moment then look away to get your wine glass, "I know."
If you know, then why you didn't react the way Felix expected to? You hold your wine glass close to your mouth but not drinking it, "What I want to know is why you didn't make a move on me until now?"
Felix finishes his wine before answering, "I have my reasons," he answers.
Your hand reaches for the fruit platter next to his shoulder and picks a slice of strawberry, "is it because I'm your second choice?"
"No!" Felix immediately denies it.
"The boys talked about which girls they were going for. You are Alex and Jamie's choice, then Jamie partnered up with you so I–I uh..." he stammers as he watches you eat the strawberry, then wash it down with the wine.
-
FELIX: Sitting this close and not able to kiss her? Impossible. She's irresistible, my gosh... [sucks air through teeth]
-
When Felix talked to you in the firepit that night, you have your guard up because he knows you were with Jamie but now, look at you! Your head is slightly tilted and flutter your eyelashes at him. You got game and Felix likes having all of your attention just for him. He's more than eager to give you all of his attention, that wouldn't be hard, you're the only one he's seeing.
Felix licks his lips as his throat got dry from watching you and quickly recovers by splashing some water into the back of his neck, "I think compared to them, I don't think I'd have a shot with you," he furtherly explains.
You stare into his eyes and locked them in an intense gaze, "why? I think you're attractive," you tell him.
He unconsciously reaches for his ear as he gets flustered by your compliment.
"I think you know by now that three of the girls are chasing after you. Shouldn't you be happy?" You share the news Felix already knew. He wants to know something else, something more important, "depends," he says, "If one of the three is you then yes, I'd be happy."
A laugh burst out of you and Felix is elated to know that he's the one who made you laugh like that. There's something else as important he needs to know, "so what's your type?"
You fix the strap of your bikini and Felix reflexively looks at your cleavage, glancing at the soft mounds inside your bikini top, then quickly shifts his eyes back to your face.
"On the paper, no, you're not," you honestly answer.
Felix's smile fades a little but he keeps his disappointment to himself by sipping his drink.
"But I'm attracted to you," you add.
He swallows his drink at once and almost choked on it, the scintillating smile returns to his face.
"The fact that you're not my type but I'm attracted to you... I think that says something," you tell him with a sly smile. You hold his gaze before looking away and it's cute that you can be bold then shy the next minute.
He sees that you're eyeing the fruit platter next to him, "want something?"
You lowly chuckle and shyly say, "I was looking at your biceps actually but yes, okay, I'd like a strawberry, please?"
You always seem to know what to say and how to make his heart flutter, he can't help but softly laugh, flustered. You hold his hand by the wrist and steady his hand as you eat the strawberry right from between his fingers.
Felix briefly feels how your mouth and lips feel like. It's not technically a rule break and he was playing it safe until you did that. He clears his throat to steer his mind back on track, "Uhm... is that what you like about me? My biceps?"
You lick the juice escaping the corner of your mouth with your tongue, "you have a great body but what I like is the freckles," you share.
Felix unconsciously reaches for his face, "Yeah?"
You pull your hand out of the water and touch his chest, "I didn't know that you also have freckles on your chest."
Is it the beads of water slowly trickling down his chest or it's your fingertips that are lightly touching him that make him tingle inside? Felix feels the need to do the same with you. He reaches for the stray hair escaping your messy bun and tucks it behind your ear.
Instead of retracting his hand, he keeps it there, holding the side of your face.
-
FELIX: [Hisses] I want to kiss her so badly.
-
Felix may as well take his chance, leaning in close but doing it carefully as he seeks permission from you. He leans in closer to whisper in your ear with his hand still holding one side of your head, "Should we kiss?"
You put your hand on his thigh underwater and seductively chuckle, hinting that you probably think it's not a bad idea after all.
"I just got out of this thing," you avoid mentioning Jamie in the sentence, then you smile as you say, "I don't want to rush things."
Felix nods in understanding, "That's fair."
However, the hand resting on his thigh tells him otherwise.
-
FELIX: The chemistry we have is electric. I get the feeling that he can't resist me for long.
-
The date ends since it's about to be curfew soon. You and Felix exchange a hug, a long one that he gets to feel your body against him.
"That was a nice date," you mutter with a hand around his neck.
Felix uses the opportunity to draw you closer until your breasts squashed between your chests, "Yeah, indeed."
Being the gentleman he is, he gets out of the swimming pool first, then immediately offers his hand to help you. You take it without complaining, letting him hold you until you got out of the water.
Felix watches as the streams of water trickle down your body and your bikini stick to your skin, leaving so little to his imagination. He grabs a towel from a stack prepared on the lounger and put it around your shoulder.
"Thank you," you thank him, then he grabs one for himself and walks back into the house together.
-
FELIX: She refused to kiss but I’m confident to say the date went well.
-
The date may have ended but the night continues.
You both go straight to the bathroom with water dripping down your bodies and it's empty since everyone else is tucked in for bedtime. The spacious shower stall gives Felix an idea crossed but he's afraid of crossing the line to ask you.
"You can go in first," he offers.
You drop the wet towel and put it on the edge of the bathtub, "how about we shower together?"
Are you reading his mind? Because that's exactly the idea he had in mind. Felix suddenly doesn't know what to do with himself, aimlessly pacing around the bathroom.
"You can use my nice-smelling shampoo," you offer with a playful laugh.
"I can't say no to that," he replies.
Felix has to calm himself as you enter the shower after him, turning your back to him to help you untie the straps of your bikini. He puts all of your hair away and carefully works the knot open, you take it off yourself after. He watches as you hook your fingers around the sides of your bikini bottom and slide it down your legs, putting the bikini aside with your feet.
It's when you turn around to face him that he starts malfunctioning. There's nothing left to imagine now he sees all of you, that beautiful body of yours that he wants to explore if it wasn't for the stupid rules. You step under the shower and tilt your head up to let the water rain down your chest.
Felix has never been this jealous of the water for being able to be all over you.
"Want me to wash your hair?" You ask, taking the shampoo out of your toiletry bag.
Unable to verbally answers, he stifled a nod.
-
FELIX: I don't know how I'm still alive after seeing her phenomenal body [whistles]
-
It's the way you stare up at him with your hands slowly massaging his scalp and standing so close to him that it alarms him that he's rather in danger.
"Is it good?"
He's not sure what you're asking, the way you shampoo his hair or how your body makes him feel. He chooses to compliment you instead, "You're good at this."
"Yeah?" You ask with a grin.
"Mmh, yeah," he tries to distract himself by talking but not long after, he found his eyes looking at your breasts, hung so beautifully on your chest, merely inches away from his chest.
"Time to wash it," you inform, pulling him under the shower and washing all the suds away from his hair while brushing it clean with your fingers.
As you intently clean his hair, Felix braves himself to put his hands on each side of your waist and reminds himself to not go lower than that.
"It smells nice," he comments, opening his eyes from closing it for too long.
You drop your hands on his shoulders then clasped your hands together on the back of his head. With his proximity, your hardening nipples are lightly grazing his chest, raising the goosebumps on his arms.
"You're lucky I let you use it," you say with a sweet smile on your face and your eyes staring back at him.
This is it. Felix has hit his limits. He can't resist it anymore.
-
FELIX: Oh fuck, I'm in trouble.
-
"I'm glad we didn't kiss on the date," Felix says.
You chuckle right at his face, "Huh? Why?"
Getting bolder, Felix wraps his hands around you and pulls you even closer, "Because now is the right time to do it."
Your teeth faintly biting your lower lip and he can see the lust in your eyes. Once you close your eyes, Felix knows that he just got your permission. The sweet smell of your breath welcomes him as he kisses your slightly parted mouth. You kiss him back with the same eagerness with a broken moan slips out of you between kisses.
Felix expected sparks but what he gets are far greater, fireworks getting off inside his chest.
-
FELIX: The kiss is such a long time coming and I just don't care about the rules at that moment. It feels so right.
-
You pull away first with a gasp and an open mouth, keeping your hands looped around his neck
"Wow. We made that kiss worth the six grands."
Felix grins in agreement with you, except that for him, the kiss is worth more than that. He'd pay with his own money if he had to, it was special, one of a kind. Then another problem appears, Felix craves for it more than before. He leans in for another but you're quick to turn your face to the side, sending his lips landed on your cheek.
"We can't break another rule today," you whisper into his ear.
Defeated, Felix drops his head on your neck and holds you close.
You reach for the faucet and turn it to the side, "How about a cold shower, mmh?"
-
FELIX: A part of me is glad that she stopped me or else, we would have done everything by now [shamelessly laughs]
-
It was too late to have you sleeping with him last night.
Hopefully, later, he can fix this bed situation so he can wake up next to you and probably, sneaks a kiss or two. Seeing your face and exchanging a secretive smile is enough to gather his spirits to last the day.
Cole is going through his routine and asks everyone the question of the day, "anyone breaks any rules last night?"
He scans everyone to spot any guilty faces and Felix knows that he's safe from his suspicious eyes since Cole is his bedmate.
"You guys are looking guilty over there," Heidi points at Jamie and Mia's bed.
Fuck Jamie, he's so stupid to let you go but smart enough to leave you because you deserve better. Felix is confident that he is that 'someone better'.
Unlike everyone else, Felix can't wait for everyone to know that he kissed you and gets jealous of him.
-
FELIX: Another day, another chance to break the rules [winks]
-
Too bad that despite his excitement, Felix can't spend time with you as you are being called to the front yard for a workshop with the other girls. He has no other things to do but join Alex working out and at the same time, helping him with some lower body workouts.
"You didn't tell me about your date last night," He says as he's taking a minute of a break between sets.
Felix counts the time and at the same time answering to his question, "It went great, man."
Alex is the one who encourages him to keep trying even when you were still with Jamie.
"Told you," he says with a triumphant smirk and getting up, grabbing dumbbells in both hands.
"Did you do anything?" Alex glances at him to get any hints from Felix's expression.
Felix refuses to answer but the grin on his face gives it away.
"How much did you spend?"
He's bad at lying and it's not like he's talking to Cole, which reminds him to look around, "Just one kiss," Felix answers after steering clear that Cole is out of his earshot.
Alex laughs and puts the dumbbells down, "just get ready, bro."
Surprisingly, Felix doesn't care so much about what everyone is going to say when they know about him breaking the rules.
"As an experienced rulebreaker, do you have any tips?" Felix playfully asks.
Alex laughs again and plops down on the hot sand, "I hate to tell you but the only way is through," he says with a stupid grin.
"Thank you, Dorothy!" Felix jokingly responds.
-
FELIX: I missed her even though I know she's only on a different side of the villa [chuckles]
-
Felix can't hide his smile when he sees you back from the workshop.
Moreover, he doesn't want to be around Jamie. The fact that he left you for someone else leaves a bad taste in him. Or maybe it's just that Felix grows protective of you that makes him feel that way.
"It's so hot. I'm thinking of taking a dip," you tell him.
He glares at you, "And you're not inviting me?"
"Yes. I'm not inviting you," you tell him with a sly smile, walking to the pool while dragging him along behind you.
Seeing your wet body only reminds him of last night, except that you have not even a thread covering that beautiful body of yours. He's standing next to you inside the pool, facing the view of the beach. He should distract himself from looking at your body by starting a conversation, or anything to keep his head occupied.
"So uh... how was the workshop?" He asks.
You turn to face him when he wishes that you didn't, "basically that when we let men into us, we also absorbed everything about them," you answer.
Your hand is floating on the surface of the water and drifting close to him, "it taught us that we should be more selective of the men we let in," you finish.
Can't help himself to touch you, he places a hand on the arch of your back, "that sounds great," he comments.
You nod and prop a hand under your chin, looking at him with a soft smile.
"What's your verdict on me?" Felix asks.
You tilt your head with a questioning look on your face.
He pulls you close and allows himself to place a kiss on your bare shoulder, "will you let me in?"
You shyly chuckle while putting your hand on his shoulder, "We'll see..." you vaguely answer.
-
FELIX: She may have not fully recovered from the previous thing but I think we're off to a good start.
-
You turn him around and jump onto his back, "get me there," you order.
"To the end of the pool?"
You nod, "and back," you continue.
"I didn't know that I have to do lower body workout," he says.
You throw your arms around his neck, "Go! Go! Go!"
Felix hoists you higher on his back and slowly walks to the end of the pool, carrying you on his back.
"Am I heavy?" You lean in close.
"If you're asking of we can do the wheelbarrow position, the answer is yes," he shamelessly pulls a lewd joke.
-
FELIX: It's so hard to not think about sex when she's walking around being the hot temptation she is.
-
The firepit is your favorite place in the villa and it unconsciously becomes his favorite place too.
"We're matching!" You exclaim, spotting the navy blue shirt he's wearing and pointing at the dress you're wearing.
"We're meant to be," he coyly responds.
If only you knew that he took a peek at what you'll be wearing tonight and purposely matches his clothes with yours. You sit next to him on the long sofa, lounging with him under the moonlight with the fire keeping the night warm for both of you.
You're lying sideway facing him and resting your head on his arm, this way, he can see the curve of your body wrapped in a skin-tight dress with thin straps.
He takes this chance to ask the question he's been wanting to ask, "Will you sleep on my bed tonight?"
Your fingers are busy playing with the button on his shirt.
"For the rest of the retreat too?" He asks again.
You lowly chuckle, "No."
Felix jerks his head away, refusing to believe that you just rejected him.
You look up at him and say, "But you can sleep on my bed."
He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and dryly laugh, "Oh yeah, we're going to evict Heidi tonight."
-
FELIX: The bed situation has been sorted, there's one more thing left to do now.
-
Felix runs his hand up and down your arm, "it's a nice dress," he compliments.
"I borrow this from Laura," you share.
The strap accidentally got caught in Felix's bracelet and pulls it down your arm, almost spilling your breast out of your dress.
"Whoops," Felix cheekily responds. He carefully fixes it for you and slides the strap back to its place on your shoulder.
It seems wrong to be this close to you and not kiss you. Not when that's what he thought about all day, the taste and the softness of your lips. Felix tilts your head and seeks your permission with a thumb that tenderly brushes your lower lip.You close your eyes, once again, letting him get what he wants and hopefully, it's what you want too.
Felix doesn't need to worry as you return his kiss with the same eagerness. He can taste your lips with a hint of mint that he believes is coming from your lip gloss. A hand wraps around your neck to keep you still as his tongue pries open your mouth so he can deepen the kiss and tastes you wholly.
Everything else doesn't matter at that moment, it's just you and him, encased in a breathtaking kiss.
-
FELIX: I'm willing to pay with my own money just to kiss her again [shrugs]
-
"Do I have your lipstick on me?"
You nod as you wipe your smudged lipstick.
"Does it look good on me?" Felix leans in close so you can clean it for him.
"Yes," you reply, intently wiping the lipstick mark you left on his lips with your thumb.
With you still leaning close and your finger brushing his lips, Felix is tempted to kiss you again. You quickly sense his intention and look away to prevent it from happening. One kiss is enough, for now.
-
FELIX: I just can't stop... oh, my God! I don't want to stop.
-
It's only about time that Lana comes and announces the damage you both did.
Before that, you fix your dress and hair, leaving nothing that will give anyone the impression that the two of you have kissed. Felix holds your hand as you both make your way to the cabana and sit on the smaller sofa on the side of the room. He leans in close to the side of your head and softly asks, "Are you nervous?"
You take a deep breath and answer, "Yeah."
It would be a lie to say that he's not as nervous. This is his first time being on the hot seat but he knows what to do, he has his defense at the ready.
"It'll be fine," he comforts you while tucking a hair behind your ear.
The sweet smile you give him puts him at ease. Then you take his hand, clasped it together with yours, and rest it on your lap.
"Hello, everyone!" Lana greets with her computer voice.
"Hello, Lana banana!" Heidi being the loudest of us greets her back.
"There have been breaches of the rules," Lana announces.
Cole brushes his hair to the back in frustration and leans back on the sofa, "I'm so done with y'all."
Felix decides to own up to his mistakes and comes forward, "We kissed. Twice," he concisely admits.
Felix glances around and sees that Jamie is grinning, probably going to enjoy that he's not the one about to get shouted at. Instead of that, there's a moment of silence and he's not sure if it means good or bad.
"Well, if it's you guys..." Laura says, flipping her hair to the back, "I think you deserve it."
Alex nods, agreeing with her and Felix appreciates that Alex has his back like a good friend he is.
"I agree," Maeve adds with a smile shot at you.
-
FELIX: Whoa, what was that? That is not the reaction I was expecting we'd get [eyes widens]
-
"I feel like... you guys are building connections so..." Heidi gives her opinion.
Felix lets out a quiet sigh of relief and smiles at everyone, "Thank you, guys. We appreciate it," he says, shaking your clasped hand in giddiness.
He looks at you and you look back at him with a sweet smile. He feels more certain about his choices, this is right, you are right for him.
"But that's not all..." Lana drops a sudden announcement.
-
FELIX: Oh... fuck off, Lana!
-
"We have reached the middle of the retreat. However, certain individuals haven't shown the growth we wanted," Lana continues.
Felix feels your hand holding him tighter and he puts his other hand on you, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.
You put your head on his shoulder, "Is she sending us home?" You meekly ask him.
Considering that he has broken the rules that automatically put both of you on Lana's naughty list, his heart races in his chest. Felix doesn't want to leave yet. Now that he's with you, he wants to stay for as long as he could.
"I'll be sending home two people."
"Two? Right now?" Cole gasps in pure shock.
You nuzzle your head further into his neck, "what the hell," you softly murmur with a restless sigh.
Felix lets go of his hand to put his arm around you. He can't say much because he's not in a good position to know for certain that it's not you or him Lana going to send home.
"Oh, fuck!" Heidi sighs into her hands.
The situation turns even more bleak as everyone got hit by the realization that they can get kicked out at any moment and they should have taken the rules seriously.
-
FELIX: I'm absolutely shitting it.
-
"Come on, Lana! You can't be serious," Cole says with a nervous laugh.
"The guests leaving the treat are..."
Felix hears your panicked whine on his shoulder and reflexively pulls you closer to him, knowing that you seek comfort from him.
"Daniel and Aly."
"Oh, my God!" You mutter, slung your hand across his shoulder.
Everyone is in complete shock while a few of them kind of figured that they're the ones who have been fooling around the retreat and not taking the process seriously. Despite all of that, it'll be a loss not having them again in here. Felix cherished the time he spent with them even though he doesn't know them on a personal level.
"Since arriving at my retreat, you have ignored my rules, dismissed my teachings, and failed to grow. And pursued your own desires at the expense of those around you."
Everyone gets quiet as Lana explains the reasons why she sends them home tonight.
"Daniel and Aly, you must now leave my retreat."
-
FELIX: I think Daniel had a problem following the rules and always chose to be selfish.
-
"Love you," Aly mutters to you as she hugs you.
You sniffle and say back to her, "Love you, Al!"
Besides Maeve, Felix has seen you hang out with Aly a few times so he understands that it must feel like you're losing a friend. That only proves what a caring person you are and he's lucky to be with you.
After watching them leave, you turn to hug to seek comfort from each other.
-
FELIX: I hope they continue to grow outside of the retreat. I wish you all the best, Daniel and Aly! [smiles]
-
It's bedtime and he feels bad if he has to evict Heidi, he turns to Cole, kindly asking him to sleep with her.
"Don't let me down, okay?" Cole warns before taking his pillow with him to Heidi's bed.
He saw you're chatting with Maeve in the make-up room and that explains why it's taking you long to come to bed. He's listening to everyone else talking about Daniel and Aly leaving one bed unoccupied for the night.
When you finally appear, you're smiling as you make your way to his bed. You toss the cushion onto the floor to make some space on the bed while he's puffing your pillow for you, then puts his arm out for you to rest on.
Felix doesn't wait to kiss you on the cheek, "you smell so good," he says.
You smile and say, "I'm pretty sure it's the moisturizer."
-
FELIX: I'm sharing a bed with her and she smells so good [hisses air through teeth] It's not going to be easy tonight!
-
There is not an ounce of privacy in the villa but as time goes on, Felix has come to the point that he stops caring about it.
The lights are out and as you turn to your side, your body instantly molds against him. Felix almost lets out a lewd groan the moment your ass is rubbing against his crotch. His self-control is being put to the test tonight and he's most likely to fail at it. He plants soft kisses along your shoulder and up the column of your neck, "I'm so happy that we're sharing a bed," he whispers into your ear.
Felix hears you softly giggling and if only you knew how much he likes hearing your giggles.
You slightly turn your head to the side, "Me too."
He plants his mouth on your neck again and tries not to think about kissing your lips that are mere inches away from his.
"Mmh..." he hums as he plants his nose in your hair and the smell of your shampoo brings him back to that night he showered with you. He hums again but it comes out as a low growl with the deep voice he has.
You look over your shoulder and gently grips his chin, "let's not break any more rules," you lowly say.
He nods and hastily kisses the nape of your neck, "mmh... 'kay."
It's like his hands have their own brains, they start to roam around your body, feeling your clothed body all over. Well, he can vividly picture it in his head without looking, you're wearing a white, thin tank top with boxer shorts that barely cover your body.
"You're so beautiful," he seductively says into your ear.
Sensing that he's close to danger, you take his hands and clasped them with yours to prevent them from wandering around. Felix sighs in defeat, then breaks into laughter as you caught on to his bad intention.
You laugh along and turn to softly kiss him on the jaw, "Goodnight."
He returns it with a long kiss on your cheek, "Goodnight, babe."
-
FELIX: [sticks tongue out] It's clear that she has better self-control than me [laughs]
-
You look adorable with your hair tousled, barefaced, and disoriented like an angel who has just fallen from heaven.
"Morning," he forgot that his voice is even deeper in the morning and slightly surprised you with it.
You sleepily smile at him, "Morning."
You reach for his head and slip your hand in his hair, lazily scratching at it.
Felix is smitten, he can look at your face for hours without getting bored. If only he could kiss you while he's at it, it would be perfect. He notices that your tank top slides to the side, almost exposing your breast. He immediately helps you fix it before anyone can see it.
Cole is calling for Felix across the room, "Are we good, bro?"
He chuckles knowing that he's asking whether he broke rules or not, "Nothing happened. I promise you," he assures him.
-
FELIX: I had the hardest yet the best sleep I had so far in the retreat.
-
"How are things going, my friend?" Killian asks.
Felix leans back on the sofa and looks at the beach with its postcard-worthy view.
"We've been good if that's what you're asking," Felix playfully replies then shot a glare at Cole.
"I have no problems with you breaking rules if you like each other," Cole defends his strict policy about rulebreaking. He stares at him and with a serious face asks him, "Do you like her?"
"I do," Felix replies without a beat.
He smiles out of the blue like a fool in love he is, "I started to notice these little things about her and find them cute."
Cole and Killian break into laughter in unison but Felix is too happy to feel offended and laughs along with them.
"Oh, boy!" Cole exclaims, enjoying making fun of him too much.
-
FELIX: [Covers face with hands] I like her so much it's so stupid. I don't know if she likes me back, I'm sure she is but... [shrugs] no, I actually don't know.
-
Seeing that you're done giving your daily interview, he begins searching for you in the house.
Instead of you, he bumps into Maeve and she knows right away he's looking for her best friend.
"She's in the bathroom," she informs.
"Thank you!" He quickly mutters to her, heading to the bathroom, seeing you standing by the sink and lathering your body with sunblock. It's time that he returns the favor you've done to him once.
"Need help?"
You smile the moment you see him standing in the doorway, "yes, please!"
Felix enthusiastically takes his position behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder before lathering the skin with sunblock. Not that he's no longer attracted to your body, unfortunately, he will always be but he's getting better at controlling his impulses.
Sure it's tempting to untie your bikini and with everyone out of the house, you and him could have another round in the shower. He takes a deep breath when the urge comes up and reminds himself that he shouldn't break any rules, he's aiming to form a genuine connection with you to get a green light
He slips his arms under and around you, "you're so beautiful, babe."
You giggle in response and look at his reflection in the mirror, "Thank you!"
Without warning, he lifts you and carries you out of the bathroom like a sack of potato, sending you squealing, "I'm taking you with me everywhere.”
-
FELIX: Things are going better between me and her. We're happy with each other.
-
Knowing that none of you break the rules, Felix can relax when it's time to get to the cabana. He's sitting next to you, putting his arm around you and fiddling with the strap of your bikini, twirling it around his finger.
"Hello, everyone!"
"Hello, Lana!" He half-heartedly greets her back. From the sound of her ever-the-same computer voice, Felix gets the feeling that she's going to share the good news.
"I'm about to initiate my test."
-
FELIX: Oh shit. I was wrong to think that it was going to be good news.
-
"With the help of two new arrivals."
With Daniel and Aly left, it only makes sense that Lana brought new contestants into the retreat. Felix should have seen it coming and now, he's just nervous, afraid that it's going to be what he thinks it is.
"The first new arrival is Poppy."
Everyone starts to guess what she looks like just from her name.
"The second new arrival is Josh."
Now this is what Felix fears the most: what is Lana going to do with them? Because if it would be like the last time, Felix dislikes the idea.
"Two of you will be going on private dates with the new arrivals."
-
FELIX: Whoever this new guy is... I don't feel threatened. At all.
-
This is not good.
Things are looking up for him and Lana decides to stir things up by sending new guests which he's sure, not only going to change the dynamic in the house but possibly, cause some chaos too.
"They have selected the guests they are most attracted to from the choice of those in relationships."
Did Felix accidentally manifest it into reality?
-
FELIX: Josh, my guy, you'd better not step on my toes.
-
"Josh has chosen to go on a date with..."
Felix's heart is beating out of control, it's like his body is telling him that his worst fear is about to come true. He closes his eyes and tries to be cool if it's you who gets chosen.
When Lana calls your name, his heart leaps and he closes his eyes.
"Of course!" He mutters under his breath. He didn't intend for you to hear it but he's a bit upset about being put in this situation.
-
FELIX: I trust her. It's this new guy that I don't trust.
-
Felix looks at you to see your reaction. You seem to be at a loss for words and turn rigid next to him. Unlike him, you probably didn't expect to get picked.
"You may now leave to get ready for your dates."
He pulls you into a hug and reluctantly lets you go, "See you later," he says and manages to put on a smile for you.
"Bye," you say to him.
He watches as you leave to go on a date with someone else.
-
FELIX: If she goes for this new guy, I'm not going to lie... [licks lips] I'll be absolutely heartbroken.
-
"How are you feeling, Felix?" Maeve asks from the end of the sofa, curious about his feelings about this situation as if his face didn't tell how worried he is right now.
"It's not easy," he answers, "I trust her but I can't lie, there's a little part of me that's worried."
Maeve gently pats him on the knee, "Well, Lana said it's a test so..."
She shifts on her seat to put her feet up, "it wouldn't be easy."
Felix's head is in overdrive. There are so many thoughts inside his head and most of them are not doing him good.
"Yeah..." he half-heartedly answers.
"But I know her and I'm sure she'll stay faithful to you," Maeve tells her.
Considering that it's coming from your closest friend in this retreat, Felix decides to hang on to those words. At least, after this, he'll know whether he can trust you or not.
-
FELIX: This guy chose her for a reason and that makes me restless [drops head into hands]
-
The boys agreed to wear matching black shirts tonight. Felix just picked whatever piece of clothing he has in white color and put it on, having no energy to dress up for tonight.
Killian offers him the extra black shirt he packed with him, "You can wear mine, mate!"
Cole can only laugh seeing him so restless as they're hanging out by the fire pit and talking about the new guy when that's the last thing he wants to talk about.
"Are you nervous?" Jamie asks.
Felix knows that Jamie tries to take a dig at him, "not really," he coyly answers.
If only he knew that Felix is so close to losing it.
-
FELIX: My head is all over the place right now... I refuse to show it. I don't want to show my weakness.
-
Felix tries not to think too much about it. However, when you show up linking your arm with the new guy, he slouched down on the sofa to hide himself.
He tries so hard not to look no matter how much he wanted to. He doesn't want to see you're happy with someone else.
"This is not good, man!" Cole adds, putting Killian's words deeper into him.
Felix covers his eyes as if it would stop him from facing reality. Cole aggressively pats his knee and not stopping until he snaps his head his way.
"They're coming this way!" He informs.
"Oh, fuck!" Felix curses under his breath and sits straighter on the sofa.
Good thing that with the job he has as a model, he knows how to put on a good front even though he's dying inside. He takes a deep breath and put on a straight face.
"Hey, everyone," you greet them as you descend the stairs to the firepit.
"This is Josh," you introduce.
Instead of parting ways, you decide to sit next to each other on the sofa across from him.
-
FELIX: Fucking hell, man?!
-
Jamie decides to be the one breaking the awkward silence, "How was the date?"
Josh nods with a smile on his face, "it was good."
The answer doesn't quite give Jamie the satisfaction, so he turns to you for another answer.
"It was nice. I think we got on well," you answer and glance at Josh.
"I've chosen her for a reason and I enjoyed the date. I think I'm going to try, get to know her better," Josh adds after you.
It takes everything in him to not go at him or snatch you away, out of this retreat. Felix starts to heat, inside and outside.
-
FELIX: Josh is a nice-looking guy and I can see that he's on a mission. Well, he's going to be a big problem to me [gulps air]
-
"I'm sure you guys have a lot to talk about," Cole kindly put the conversation to an end.
"Josh, right? We'll introduce you to the girls," he gets up, indirectly telling everyone to come along as well so you and Felix can talk.
Once they left, you walk over and sit next to him. He takes your hand resting on the space between you and him, "it's nice to have you back," he says with a smile.
You lean on the sofa and sit facing him, "yeah?"
He swallows air before asking you the question he's been dying to know.
"How was the date? Really?" He asks and nervously gulps air, it's like no matter how much air he takes, he stays breathless.
"Well, I did tell him about you," you begin.
That's a good thing but it's too early to celebrate yet, "yeah?"
"But he said he doesn't care," you continue with an awkward laugh.
-
FELIX: Oh, Josh, man, I'll never let you step on my toes.
-
You fiddle with the end of your hair before looking him in the eyes and continue talking.
"Josh is a nice guy but..." you put all of your hair to the side, "we didn't do anything."
Felix can't help but let a smile blooms on his face hearing your words.
You playfully grab his biceps and squeeze on them, "No one was going to change my mind."
The smile grows wider on his face and he can finally breathe for the first time.
"I know we have something great going on and I don't want to throw that away," you say with a soft smile that matches the gaze.
But Felix has one more question to assure him that he's made the right choice, "Does this mean you like me?"
Your forehead wrinkles in confusion, "Of course, I like you. I wouldn't have tried if I don't."
-
FELIX: Tonight, I am the happiest man on this retreat. Possibly the luckiest too [grins]
-
Ecstatic, he throws himself at you, sending both of you toppled onto the sofa. He rests his head on your chest and lets you brush his hair like you always do, "You're sweating," you tell him.
Felix laughs his embarrassment away, "I tried to stay confident but I was struggling."
You coo at him and brush his hair to the back, "Well, I kind of want to make you sweat a little."
He puts his arms around you and nestles his head in your neck, "I'm glad to have you back, babe," he says.
He gets carried away that he leans in to kiss you to abruptly stops as he remembers Lana's rules and gasps in shock, "Oh, fuck!"
You cradle his head and kiss him on the cheek to compensate for it.
-
FELIX: I can't believe I'm about to thank Lana because this test only brought us closer, stronger. So thank you, Lana! [Blows a kiss to the camera]
-
The two new arrivals don't make a significant change except that the empty bed is now occupied.
Yeah, he's happy that Alex also stays with Laura and proves to everyone that he has a connection with her. However, Felix is too over the moon to even think about everyone else. His cheeks hurt from smiling non-stop and now he's about to spoil you with cuddles as you climb onto the bed.
Cole warns the new arrivals that he's watching even though his eyes are closed, earning a series of laughter from everyone.
The lights are out but with his heart full to the brim, Felix can't sleep. He touches you all over and places kisses on the skin he can land his lips on. He likes you so much and he always thinks that just saying it is not enough. He wants to show you with actions.
-
FELIX: We've been good lately so I don't see why we can't spend a little money [smirks]
-
Felix waits until the night got late.
When he deems that everyone is fast asleep, he begins by disrupting your sleep with slobbering kisses on your neck and face. His hand is placing fluttering touches on your body and once in a while, squeezes on the flesh.
He doesn't stop until you wake up from your slumber and when you do, he whispers into your ear, "Baby?"
You turn your head on your pillow and look at him with half-shut eyes, "why are you still awake?"
Instead of answering you, he kisses the nape of your neck, knowing that it's your sensitive spot.
"I like you so, so, so much," he whispers into your ear and emphasizes the words to you.
You lowly giggle, then tangle your hand in his hair, softly tugging at it, "I like you too, baby."
Catching you off guard, he turns your head by your chin and crashes his lips against yours.
-
FELIX: I'm so happy she chose me and I want to show her that [raises an eyebrow]
-
Felix gives you no time to stop him. He distracts you, keeping your mouth busy while he slides his hand down, swiftly sliding his hand inside your silk shorts. You whine against his lips as his hand makes contact with your sex, so soft and warm.
"Shh..." he hushed you.
Felix touches you as he would to a delicate flower, doing it so carefully and with so much tenderness. You pull the duvet to cover you and muffle any noises that may come out of you even though you have planted your mouth on his neck.
Felix hovers his head above you, watching your face in the dark as your breathless moans echo under the cover. He traces your fold, fingers lightly circling your clit and applying gentle pressures when he knows you're getting closer to coming undone, "Close?"
"Mmh," you hum in answer.
He keeps doing the same thing with more intensity and adds more speed to it. From the way your cunt pulsates under his touch, you're on the brink of your release. He kisses you whole to contain your moans and stops moving his hand once you hit your high, feeling your hand clawing at his shoulder.
As it gets suffocating staying under the cover, he retracts his hand and put the duvet away. He hovers above you and tenderly caresses your face with his knuckle.
"I'm so happy that you're with me," he tells you just in case, what he just did, did not quite deliver the message to you.
You put both hands around his neck and pull him close, sending him collapsing on top of you. You turn your head to only give him a chance to capture your lips in a rapturous kiss.
Felix doesn't even think about the money at that moment. All he thinks about is you, you, and you.
-
FELIX: Let's think about the money later, when it's time.
-
It's his bad behavior last night that makes you act super careful today. You're sitting on the far end of the sofa even though he's patting the space next to him.
"Why are you sitting so far away, babe?"
You shrug and adorably pout, "I'm setting uh... a safe space?"
He laughs at your excessive effort to not create another damage to the prize fund, "Come here!" He insists.
"I wouldn't do anything," he promises, "at least not in here."
You refrain from coming at him and remain where you are, shaking your head at him. Felix eventually comes to you and puts you on his lap.
"I didn't mean to break the rules," he explains, "I wanted to show you how much I like you."
You're poking his freckled cheek with your index finger, "we have to be good from now on."
He nods in agreement, "I agree."
You hold his chin and turn his head to face you, "I'm serious!"
"I'm serious," he convinces you.
You cover his mouth with your hand, "then stop pouting your lips at me."
He chuckles and puts your hand away, "My lips have always been like this."
You put his hand to cover his mouth this time, "From now on, you have to talk to me like this."
He refuses to obey, then puts his hand away, "No, I don't want to."
You try to get away from him but he's quick to hold you down, not letting you off his lap.
"Where are you going, mmh?" He's tickling your neck with his nose.
-
FELIX: Lana called us to the cabana and I am shitting it because of what we've done last night.
-
"Somebody better not ruin my good mood," Cole says once he's seated.
Felix shoots an uneasy glance at you and you turn his head away, avoiding looking him in the eyes. Nothing wouldn't change, he's ready to defend himself and you for what he did.
"There has been a breach of the rules."
Lana doesn't dillydally, she goes straight to business, and by business, he means putting him at a stake and about to set him on fire.
Heidi looks at everyone and coo, "Who's been bad?"
Felix remains calm despite his heart feeling like about to jump out of his chest. It's always better, to tell the truth fast than prolong the pain.
"We kissed last night," Felix blurts out.
"Again?" Laura asks with eyelids fluttering.
He takes a deep breath before coming up with his first defense, "I was so happy last night and got carried away, it felt right in the moment to do so."
Cole gives him a death glare, "Was that it? Just a kiss?"
Felix hates to disappoint him but he can't lie, he doesn't have a good poker face.
"Something else also happened last night," Felix's voice goes lower than it already is.
"Oh, no..." Killian exclaims next to him.
Lana takes control of the situation, "Last night, the two of you kissed multiple times."
Cole's eyes widen and are about to pop out of their sockets.
"But that's not all they did," Lana continues.
Here it is, Felix squeezes your clasped hand and braces himself for what's about to come.
"They're engaged in a prolonged, manual gratification."
-
FELIX: I'm not sorry for what I did but I admit I feel bad for letting everyone down by being selfish.
-
"You have cost the group a total of $33.000."
Felix turns to you, seeing you wince in both pain and disappointment. But he appreciates that you don't blame it all on him even though it wouldn't happen if he didn't lead you to it.
"I'm speechless as to how much we've lost money this fast," Heidi says with her voice heavily tinted with disappointment.
"The prize fund stands at $86.000."
Everyone gasps in shock and face-palm hearing the announcement.
Cole shakes his head and sighs, "We lost more than half of the money, fuck... sake..."
-
FELIX: Hearing it makes it real and I genuinely feel bad.
-
"Today, I asked you to respect my rules but instead of building deeper and meaningful confections, you have continued signs that you may not be here for the right reasons."
Felix's heart drops and his head goes straight thinking that he'd be sent home tonight. He holds your hand tighter because this probably would be his last to do so.
"Therefore, I'm setting you the ultimate test."
Oh? He can breathe a little knowing that it's not elimination.
"To see if you can adhere to my retreat rules under the most trying of circumstances."
You slightly shift on your seat and scoot closer to him.
"Tonight, you will spend the night alone in the private suite."
-
FELIX: I'm screwed. I don't trust myself, that's the problem.
-
It doesn't take a genius to know that everyone is too haste to pull a conclusion: that Felix will fail.
"To be honest guys, I've always been the one who initiated it but not tonight," Felix makes a promise to himself and everyone.
"I'll not break any rules," he states and hopes that no one hears how his voice is quivering at the end of the sentence.
"If you did, that would be the most disrespectful thing you do to us," Cole says.
Felix raises his hand as if he's making an oath, "I promise."
"Please make your way to the private suite!" Lana orders.
-
FELIX: The pressure is on but it's the only way to prove that we have a real connection.
-
You jump onto the bed the second you both entered the private suite.
"Oh, it's so nice," you sigh, laying on the bed with a sheer dress on and looking at him with dreamy eyes.
"Stop looking so sexy," he says, getting on the bed and lying next to you.
The bed is much softer than the ones in the shared bedroom and covered in silk sheets. He looks around and sees sex toys, condoms, and even lubricants provided at the side of the bed.
"What do you want to do first?" You ask with a sultry voice.
Felix is not sure if you're being playful or trying to seduce him. Either way, he decides to play along with you, "First, I'll take your clothes off."
"Yep."
He glides his hand down your curve, "Then I'll give you head."
"And I’ll return the favor after," you continue with a sly smile.
That gets his eyebrow raised in excitement, "And after that…"
"And after that?" You repeat his words then bite your lower lip.
This is a dangerous game but Felix wants to test his limit, sees how far he can go, "We'll do some more foreplay, use a sex toy or two," he's eyeing the selections of sex toys on the bedside table.
You delightfully hum and turn over to lay on your stomach, "And after that?"
He takes a deep breath as he can vividly imagine it in his head in real-time, "Sex, " he lowers his hand to the curve of your ass, "Lots and lots of sex," he shamelessly adds.
You locked in an intense gaze with him and purposely lower your voice as you ask him, "What are you waiting for then?"
-
FELIX: Lana, what makes you think it's a good idea to put me in a room with her and not do anything? [Shakes head in disbelief]
-
Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)
Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better.
But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]
My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]
-
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.
She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.
Guess desperate times reached out to each other.
But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.
Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.
But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.
"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.
She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."
It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.
You have to bring it close to your face to read it.
A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.
"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."
"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."
"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.
Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.
Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?"
Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"
She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.
"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"
She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"
That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.
It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.
You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.
What's so hard about it anyway?
-
Wow!
You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.
However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.
Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.
Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.
You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.
Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.
The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.
"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.
You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.
You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.
The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.
By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.
You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.
Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.
You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.
Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.
Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.
You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.
You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.
"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.
You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.
"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.
After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.
A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.
Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.
There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.
-
YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]
-
After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.
Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.
You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.
One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.
Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.
"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.
You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.
"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.
You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"
"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.
"And English," you point out.
He chuckles, "That too!"
"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.
He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."
And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.
"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"
"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.
Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.
"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.
"I play basketball," he answers.
You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.
-
YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.
-
He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...
"What about you?" He asks.
You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.
He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.
"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.
He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"
"Yes, I am."
"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"
You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"
Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.
"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.
He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"
You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.
He laughs, "Why?"
"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.
You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.
"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.
Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.
"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.
You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.
-
YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.
-
The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.
The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.
You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.
"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.
Wow. What a way to impress a woman!
Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret
A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.
Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.
"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.
"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.
You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.
A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.
Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.
So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.
It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.
Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.
You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.
It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.
Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.
You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.
After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.
You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.
It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.
Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.
"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.
Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.
Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.
Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.
You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.
"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.
Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.
Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.
It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.
You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.
You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.
-
YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]
-
Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.
Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.
Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.
"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"
Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."
"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.
"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."
More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.
-
YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?
-
"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."
That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away.
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.
"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"
"Ugh!"
-
YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]
-
No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.
You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.
"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.
You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.
"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.
Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"
Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"
She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.
Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.
"It's you," he points at you.
You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"
He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."
Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.
However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.
That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...
"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.
"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.
Eyes on the prize.
-
The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.
They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.
It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.
"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.
"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.
It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive.
"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.
Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"
Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"
You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.
"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.
Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"
-
YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.
-
There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.
That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.
"We're matching!" Jamie says.
You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.
"You look beautiful," he compliments.
You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"
Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.
You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.
"Cheers!"
"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.
The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.
"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.
You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."
He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.
"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.
He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.
"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.
You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."
He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."
It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.
Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.
"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.
He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."
You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.
You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"
"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.
You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.
"Okay, continue..." he allows.
"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.
"Good, yeah?"
"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.
He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."
Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.
"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.
He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"
To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.
"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.
The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.
"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.
The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.
"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.
"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.
Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.
Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.
-
YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]
-
Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.
"Stop!" You mewl at him.
Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.
"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.
"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."
If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.
-
YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.
-
Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.
"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.
"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.
You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."
He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"
You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.
"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.
"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.
His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers.
"Why not?"
The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."
He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"
-
YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.
-
The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.
You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.
There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.
"Hey, I've been looking for you!"
You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"
She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.
"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.
You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"
Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.
That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.
"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.
She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.
"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.
"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.
After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.
The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.
After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.
You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.
"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.
"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.
It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.
-
Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.
But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.
As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went.
"So, how's the talk?"
From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.
Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.
"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.
"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.
Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.
"Yeah and?"
"He said he likes someone," she answers.
You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."
"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."
She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.
"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"
"Not sure," she shortly replies.
"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.
Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?
-
The morning alarm is ringing.
They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.
Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.
"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.
Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.
He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.
Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.
-
YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]
-
When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.
You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.
So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.
This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.
"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.
"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.
The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.
"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."
Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.
"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.
Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.
Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."
And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.
"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.
It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.
"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.
Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.
"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.
Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.
"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.
"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.
"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"
"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.
There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.
"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.
"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.
The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.
"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.
Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.
"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.
Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.
"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.
"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.
"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.
You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.
-
YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.
-
"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.
-
YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]
-
It was one hell of a way to start the day.
Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.
What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.
It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.
You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.
"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.
"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.
You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.
"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.
You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.
"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.
"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.
Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.
"You're going to talk to him again right?"
Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.
"Who do you think it is?"
"The one he likes?" You guess.
She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."
"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.
"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.
-
YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.
-
The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.
After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.
"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.
You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"
The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.
"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.
"If you want to," he answers.
He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"
You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.
You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.
"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.
-
YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!
-
The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.
"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.
Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.
"Yes, we are," you finally answer.
Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.
-
YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.
-
It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.
Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.
It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.
However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.
As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.
"Hey," he greets.
It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.
He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.
"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.
You shake your head, "not at all."
It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.
Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.
"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.
"Alright, I guess," you answer.
"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.
He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.
Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.
-
YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.
-
Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.
It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.
"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.
She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"
"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.
Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.
"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.
You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.
You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.
"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.
"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.
-
YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!
-
Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.
"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.
You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.
"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.
"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.
That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.
"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.
You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.
Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"
-
YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]
-
The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.
"Did anyone break any rules last night?"
You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.
"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.
Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.
Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.
"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.
Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.
-
YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.
-
It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.
You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.
He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.
"Need help?"
He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"
You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.
"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.
"Yes," you shortly reply.
He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"
You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"
Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"
You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...
"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.
You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.
"I see," he responds with a smile.
And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.
You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"
He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."
Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"
You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"
-
YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!
-
"Blue looks good on you!"
It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.
"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.
His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.
"I played volleyball in high school," you share.
Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."
You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."
"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.
You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."
Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.
It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.
"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.
"I'd love to," he eagerly says.
Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.
You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.
You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.
"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.
Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.
To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.
-
YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?
-
As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.
You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.
Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.
You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.
"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."
-
YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.
-
"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.
This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.
"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.
Everyone groans in unison.
You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.
"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."
"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.
"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.
"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.
"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."
-
YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.
-
The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.
Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.
You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.
"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.
"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.
The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.
You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.
"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.
You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."
He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.
Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.
-
YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.
-
"We don't need another rule break tonight!"
Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.
At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.
It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.
You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.
You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."
He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]
-
Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.
After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.
God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.
You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.
"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.
Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.
"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."
You hold your breath for the worst outcome.
"Not..."
It's getting harder to breathe now.
"Break any rules!"
Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.
-
YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!
-
Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.
"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."
You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.
"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."
Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.
"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."
Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"
-
YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.
-
After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.
The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.
To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.
"Is everything okay?" You ask.
Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.
You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"
Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.
"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."
You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"
"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.
It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.
"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.
"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.
You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.
"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.
You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.
"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.
You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.
Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.
"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.
Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.
A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.
-
YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]
-
She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.
An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.
Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.
You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.
You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.
"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.
"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.
-
YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.
-
The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.
The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.
He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.
"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.
He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."
You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"
Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."
He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.
"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.
You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"
You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.
He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."
Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.
You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort.
-
YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]
-
The time for doom is here.
You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.
"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.
Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.
"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.
You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.
"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.
Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.
"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.
"I'm sorry," you apologize.
Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.
"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.
Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."
They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.
"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.
Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.
However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.
-
The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.
Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.
You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.
"Can I talk to you?" He asks.
Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."
You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.
The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.
"Hi," he sweetly greets.
"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.
His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.
"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"
Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."
Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.
"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."
"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.
"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."
Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.
"I like you," he says again.
Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.
-
YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!
-
"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.
Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.
"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.
"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.
"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.
Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.
The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.
This is dangerous.
"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.
-
YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.
-
"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.
Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"
She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."
He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.
That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.
You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"
"Nah," he coyly answers.
You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"
Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."
You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."
-
YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.
-
It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.
Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.
You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.
His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.
"You okay?" You mouth at her.
"No," she mouths back.
You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.
"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.
"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.
-
YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]
-
The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.
The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.
Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.
"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.
You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"
Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.
"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.
You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.
By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.
You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."
Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.
-
YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]
-
Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.
Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.
Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.
"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.
Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.
"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.
Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.
"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.
-
YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.
-
Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.
"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.
This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.
"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.
The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.
"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."
Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.
"She has selected..."
-
YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]
-
"... Jamie."
The timing is impeccable.
Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.
You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.
You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.
It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.
Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."
How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?
-
YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.
-
Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.
"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.
You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.
"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.
"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.
"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.
You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.
It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.
The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.
Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.
She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.
Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.
Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.
"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.
You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.
As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.
"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.
"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.
You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"
The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.
"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.
Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.
"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.
This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.
"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.
Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.
"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.
Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.
"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.
-
YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]
-
You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.
"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.
His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."
That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.
"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.
-
YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.
-
Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.
You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.
Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.
"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.
You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."
She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."
You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.
You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."
-
YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.
-
If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.
Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.
This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.
But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.
"How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.
You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.
She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."
You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.
"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.
"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.
-
YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.
-
The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.
You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.
"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"
"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.
Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.
"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"
Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.
"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.
"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.
"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"
Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.
"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.
You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.
It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.
Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.
"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.
-
YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]
-
This is not how you want to start the day.
You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.
"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.
You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.
"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.
"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.
"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.
-
YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]
-
Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.
Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.
You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.
As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.
Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.
"Hello, ladies!"
"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.
Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.
"Y-yes?"
"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.
"Me?" You ask in disbelief.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.
You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.
"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.
Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"
"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.
"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.
"Don't you like him?"
Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"
She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"
You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.
-
YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]
-
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