(( because I want to send people asks/follow people/do fun stuff, I’ve ported this blog over to a primary account so you guys should probably go follow thesolutionist - I’ll put a redirect page here in a bit! :D ))

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@thesolutionista-blog
(( because I want to send people asks/follow people/do fun stuff, I’ve ported this blog over to a primary account so you guys should probably go follow thesolutionist - I’ll put a redirect page here in a bit! :D ))
(( because I want to send people asks/follow people/do fun stuff, I’ve ported this blog over to a primary account
so you guys should probably go follow thesolutionist - I’ll put a redirect page here in a bit! :D ))
(( because I want to send people asks/follow people/do fun stuff, I've ported this blog over to a primary account
so you guys should probably go follow thesolutionist - I'll put a redirect page here in a bit! :D ))
Send me '✐' for a handwritten note for your muse from my muse
The Gang Steals A Fuckbot
me to partners: please take however long u need to reply literally reply whenever pls dont ever feel pressured ever okay u matter
me thinking about replies: holy jesus fuck i need to reply or they'll hate me oh my god i have to reply right now im fucking sweating lord save me
((I would quite like to rp with you, but I feel like it'd be bad for me to just write you another variation of the type of starter I sent the other two Strife's I rped with.))
((well let me write you a starter then))
The sun filters through the forest’s leaves, falling through the green-tipped gaps and gently filtering down-
onto the body of William Strife.
He lies in the center of a clearing. His shirt is ragged, his waistcoat torn, and he is bleeding something unnatural and thick and green. Also billowing out from his wounds is something bright green and gaseous, sparkling with dark pinpricks of paradoxical light, but this gas seems reluctant to leave its body behind.
It is as if he is pollution itself, set against the verdancy around him. The forest seems uneasy at his presence.
He is barely breathing. His eyes are fluttering slightly open, and he’s groaning, and with each groan and movement, more of the strange gas escapes.
If you look closer-
the gas has eyes.
Martyn follows him, partly for actual logical reasons - he needs to identify useful plants, he needs to make sure Strife’s okay, he ought to get away from the fucking cloud of death - and partly because he needs the distraction from the headache still merrily pounding away.
"Of course I’ll come to the tower with you. I need to see what plants you’ve got, after all." He puts on a bright grin, his most cheery facade. If he gets nothing else from this endeavor, he wants to see Strife smile/annoy him to death before the creepy cloud can get here. Either works.
He hums, thinking. He could probably bind the thing, depending on power levels - Weird Glowing Cloud vs A Former Dryad Royalty Until He Went On Adventures - but getting it back into Strife, which is the intended outcome, is slightly more doubtful.
They walk for a while.
It’s a bit awkward. How do you apologise for accidentally setting an evil demonic chaos entity on someone’s forest? Strife’s glad that it hasn’t really happened to this extent before, but really, this shouldn’t have happened at all.
He had contingencies. He had armour.
He had limped from Parv’s castle, from where the magic police had cast their ruin, and in that wild flight he had heard the darkness mock him.
Look at him now – left half undone, putting all his hope onto this stranger, this tree spirit guy who was going to use plants to bind the darkness back unto himself. He laughs bitterly to himself, but he shouldn’t be too mean.
He’s trusting the guy.
“So, any ideas? I need to open myself up again to get him in, so I’m kinda useless. You’re gonna have to do most of the work, unless we can get someone else – and in the time we have, I doubt we have much time to do so.”
★ ;)
Nilesy.
Nilesy.
PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOVE THIS POTATO UP YOUR ASS.
*flailing*
Strifey.
Strifey.
I will not put you down because right now, I have to show ya something~!
And stop flailing, you’re really heavy and if I drop you, you’ll probably get really hurt! I don’t want you to get huuurt, Strifeeey! <3
did you just call me fat
*stops flailing*
>=[
(( im so sorry )) Hey Striiiife? How're you doooing~? <3
Niles-
Is that a heart.
Nilesy Poolson.
Did you just send me a loveheart.
I-
*blushes*
*pulls away and grins, flustered*
Hey, I was just checkin’ to see if you had actual feelin’s and wasn’t pulling my leg or anything. Which you probably are.
=)
*blinks, then grins as well*
Are you sure, Strifey? ‘Cause, you tell me if someone who was pulling your leg would do this..!
*kisses him, holding his face close loosely* *still totally not blushing*
!!!!!!!
...
=)
*leans in, starts passionately making out*
*oh do you fucking want more details do you*
*their tongues wrestled like professional heavyweight champs who were probably harbouring a secret love for each other*
*there you go*
perchance to dream
“Will!” Parv splutters out, and tries not to flail too much as Strife takes hold of him – he had actually been loosing his battle to stay afloat, and is grateful for the help. He crawls up onto the path with one arm, the other hugging his stomach as he coughs and catches his breath. “W-Will, where did you come from? I’ve been trying to find a way out of here for—” He shakes his head, eyes bewildered. “—I don’t know how long.” He doesn’t see or hear the glittering mass that addresses Will.
He coughs again, then levers himself up and turns around to sit properly, still breathing hard. His eyes widen, then he frowns when he sees the drifting indistinct red creature – the Not-Strife —coming toward them. “Oh, bugger off.” He flicks one hand at it. “If I had my sword you’d be done in already! Come on, Will.” He stands and takes Strife’s hand to help him up and gestures to the path. “Let’s find a way out!”
He starts up the path, still holding onto Will’s hand as if he’ll fall behind if Parv doesn’t. About halfway along, when he does let go there’s a moment where their respective skin seems to have melted together, stringy and stretching between them painlessly as Parvis, apparently oblivious, moves away. The illusion disappears, but there is now a pattern of tiny green lights along Parv’s palm.
The top of the path ends at a wall. Parv kicks it. “Oh, very funny. Well, I’m not going back down!” He looks over the side of the path, which is now open onto the pit where, above them, is one of the red spider webs. Far, far below is the lake of blood. It doesn’t seem like they had walked that far up, but there it was.
Parv turns back to the wall. There is now a roughly-hewn hole in it that’s tall enough and wide enough to walk through, the equivalent of a two-by-two mineshaft. He glances inside. “I see light through here! And it’s yellow, not red! I’m so sick of red. Let’s check it out!”
He grabs Will’s other hand with his not-glowy hand and pulls him along. After a few dozen steps the tunnel narrows to one-by-one width and Parv lets go of Will with the same result to their hands as before.
If Will were to look behind them, he would see the Not-Strife steadily drifting along, red eyes tilted in glee as it blocks any chance of backtracking. There are now small green shards dancing in the miasma of its body.
S t r i f e Do you even know what you have done to him? I t i s d e l i g h t f u l
Near the end of the tunnel it gets even narrower, the walls rougher. The back of Parv’s shirt tears as he squeezes through sideways, and one arm and cheek get scratched by the stone, which absorbs the blood left behind. Once out, he rubs at the cut on his face as he looks around. The green glittering from his hand settles into the spot.
S t r i f e F r o m t h e i n s i d e o u t
There’s a ledge circling another pool, the yellow light being emitted by oddly-colored lava that laps at the edge. Could be lava, could be liquid glowstone. Either way, Parv mumbles, “Probably shouldn’t try to swim in there.” He looks up, glad to see that there aren’t any spider webs. There are, however, a dizzying number of small caves and trails, some with haphazard wooden struts holding up the openings and lit by a handful of scattered torches. “This reminds me of the time I got lost in an abandoned mine. I found my way out eventually, I mean it took a while and all, but I can’t remember what the trick was… Any ideas, Will?”
Thick blood that has a greenish sheen wells up from the cut on his back, soaking into the frayed edges of the rip in his shirt.
H e w i l l b e d e v o u r e d.
His back flat against the wall, Strife stares down at the golden pool down below. The light emitted from the liquid casts mad shadows on the wall, a dancing shadow play that Plato would have been proud of, and Strife can swear he sees people in the walls.
To Parv’s mutterings, Strife says distractedly, “Yeah, could be piss or somethin’.” He’s looking around, trying to judge what’s the best course of action and trying to ignore the asshole behind them.
I will tear him apart. You will tear him apart.
He doesn’t usually talk to him. To hear him like this is just plain wrong, because in his memories he’s the one doing the talking.
Rip his heart out. Feast on the remains. I yearn.
“Everyone gets lost in these things,” says Strife, “But- I don’t think we need to worry ‘bout that. We just need to not get flippin’ separated – well, until we can wake up or somethin’. Not really experienced in this dreamin’ thing.”
He begins to inch his way around the ledge until he reaches the first opening, where he slips in. Jutting from the walls here are great crystals, iridescent and glimmering with spectral beauty. Strife admires them for a single second before he reaches out of the opening and grabs Parv, dragging him the same direction.
“Let’s not get separated,” he says.
For a while, they walk. The crystals get thicker and more clustered, and the stone itself slowly turns to gems – until they’re crunching shards underfoot. Strife slides the sunglasses down over his eyes, finding the luminous glare rather too much for him.
The cave opens into a-
what-
There’s a giant room, and the thing is that it’s a room, not something natural. There’s a great chandelier that looks to be made from the same luminous crystals from earlier, and tables covered with white cloth line the side, leaving space in the middle for dancing.
There are plates on the tables. On the plates lie great, bloody chunks of meat-
wait, there’s arms and legs and heads and fuck, Strife feels like he might just throw up a little. He’s seen this stuff before but he’s Strife now and he doesn’t like it now.
“I hope you’re not hungry,” he says to Parv.
There’s no one else in the room.
As Strife gingerly steps in, he suddenly finds that he’s wearing a rather nice version of his usual wear. It’s also reversed, red on black, and there’s a weight on his face. He reaches up to touch his face and finds a mask on his face.
What the fuck.
[thesolutionist, noticed you were following me so] "Another demigod? I would've thought that two were enough!"
"Two demigods aren’t necessarily enough."
"Last time I checked, you weren’t the one who controls this world," Valley grinned, crossing her arms. "You’re the solutionist, right? Maybe some affairs can ‘keep on truckin’ ’ without you interfering."
A snort. "Neither are you. What the hell are you plannin' on doing in this world? Because if you end up causing any problems, you said it yourself - I'm the solutionist here, and I ain't having this world fall to your ilk."
He's heard things about gods and goddesses and games of survival and chance.
He's been there before.
(( im so sorry )) Hey Striiiife? How're you doooing~? <3
Niles-
Is that a heart.
Nilesy Poolson.
Did you just send me a loveheart.
I-
*blushes*
Wait wh-mmph?!
*shocked tbh but hey kissing is gr8 so he just kinda rolls with it. figuratively speaking.*
*blushing? whats that? totally not what nilesys doing is what*
*pulls away and grins, flustered*
Hey, I was just checkin' to see if you had actual feelin's and wasn't pulling my leg or anything. Which you probably are.
=)
“Uh. What.” Parv STARED. Whatever weirdness he had been expecting, this hadn’t been it. But his gaze stopped roaming over the scattering of green lights when he eyes fell upon the gash. “Oh-Oh god, Will—“ His face flooded with guilt as he touched the area over his own not-his-own heart. “But I don’t have any—“ He left off the comment and took hold of the bound sword’s hilt with both hands, moving to stand to one side of Will. He couldn’t help glancing over the patterns of green light on Strife’s skin one more time, though.
He steeled himself, drawing in a breath as he raised the sword. “I guess I’ll deserve it when it attacks me.” He pressed his lips together and inhaled again. The sword wavered for a second.
“I’m so sorry, Will.”
He was careful, he really tried to be, when he brought the blade down past the spikes. It was one thing to ‘accidentally’ hit an ally during the chaos of a mob battle, he just got so overenthusiastic sometimes, and playfully punching someone — not to truly harm them or anything — he just… he just…
He just wanted to be sick, honestly. It was finally beginning to sink in as to how bizarre this had turned out to be, how much he had possibly hurt Strife with the whole stupid removing of his own heart, how… how… STUPID PARV.
He dropped the sword and hopped back a step, putting his arms up in front of his face to protect his eyes, feeling the new cuts as his bandages were sliced away. He ignored it and tried to look past the cloud to see what was happening to Will. “Strife? Strife??”
Amputation is never a pleasant business.
His back was arched, hands contorted into class and what might have been a snarl danced across his face. He was grimacing in pain, and the sounds coming from him were barely even human anymore. It even sounded like something was screeching in the background, howling in pain and cursing everything that would live, did live, continued to live-
the monster wails and curses, the crack in the wall of the prison cut off
Certainly, it was far easier to try to hold onto the mundane in this moment of the whirling maelstrom, but it was so fucking hard right now-
Well.
Strife never, ever did things the easy way.
Panting, he reached out for the vague humanoid shape in the storm, clinging on and biting his lip to keep from crying out anymore. He tasted the salt of his own blood – too small a wound to let anything else escape – and the sharp tang brought him back to terrible reality.
He staggered-
Through the cutting, furious cloud, he fell onto Parv, eyes pure, glittering green with no sign of white, gasping and- absolutely not sobbing thank you very much-
They tumbled onto the ground, and from sheer tiredness, Strife said-
“Thank you,”
♪ ((serenade me mr strife))
Slowly, in his beautiful baritone, Strife slowly sings-
"One of these days you'll be under the covers, you'll be under the table and you'll realize that all of your days are numbered..."
He's got his eyes closed and he's pretty content, just relaxin' with his buddy Nilesy (who seems to somehow have the hots for him oh dear).
"Live like you're dying and never stop trying. It's all up to you, use what's been given to you."
- Live Like You're Dying - Lenka -
Send me ♪ and I (the mun) will set my mp3 to shuffle and my muse will serenade yours with the first song that comes up.
requested by anonymous
★ ;)
Nilesy.
Nilesy.
PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOVE THIS POTATO UP YOUR ASS.
*flailing*
★ (thesolutionist)
(w/o m!a) Nilesy squeaked as he suddenly got carried. He didn’t do much to try and get out of the other’s grip, but that doesn’t mean it was very… Comfortable.
"Strife," he said, a little angry at everything right now. "What are you doing, and where are you taking me..?!"
(w/ m!a) Nilesy gasped softly, but quickly smiled. “Ohohoho~ Where are we going, Strifey~?” If he was a cat, he would purr very loudly. He, however, wasn’t so… No purring. He was, however, giggling while he was being carried.
He wanted to make so many comments that he really shouldn’t make.
((going for the m!a one))
"Shut up," Strife hissed, cheeks greenening rapidly as he walked. "There's- there's a pack of zombies behind us, and they're angry. This doesn't mean anythin', it just means that I'm savin' you from the undead horde!"
His voice rose in intensity and volume, and as he realised his mistake, the zombies turned towards them. How had Nilesy not noticed those guys?!
Too lovestruck, apparently.
Strife sighed and leaped into the air, unfurling two massive batlike wings and shooting off into the sky, still holding onto Nilesy.