좌 Chwa

Survival-Recovery-Process-Success -------------------------------------------------- You have found my semi-secret blog. By reading the posts on here, you may find out more about me than being my friend for a half decade. I created this to help myself walk through life -- with the mindset that I can tread through struggles on my own. I mostly write about my serious thoughts or hardships.

[dangdfeng]

[avenuesofinspiration]

December | Gif Source © | AOI

[thesoo]

54

54 is a special number to me.

I don’t exactly know why... Perhaps it’s because it is a beginning of a sequence of a heart-pounding countdown... “5..4...3..2..1...″ 

Perhaps it’s because my birthday is May 14th, 514 which looks like 5 | 4, which to me like the strange metallic numbers nailed onto hotel doors to provide the specific location within the architectural blueprint. Such simple thing representing such great value.

But mostly, what strikes me the most is that when you add 5 and 4 together you get 9.. the greatest single digit in the numeric system. It’s like something that’s almost great but not quite. 

“Something that could have been.”

That is truthfully one of the most heart-twisting concepts. Also painful is the concept of something/someone that’s rapidly improving and then suddenly plateauing...

I feel that I have almost escaped the tunnel of my childhood’s darkness and despair. I am standing at the tunnel’s exit. All ym childhood, I was looking forward to escaping the painful nothingness and welcoming a world of coziness and hopefulness. But the exit captivates me. A large half-oval-shaped gateway that emits blinding rays of comfort and warmth. Tread along a tunnel long enough, and you get blinded by the greatness of light. It seems greater than it actually is; the brightness is relative to the viewer.

To me, the longing gaze at the light--the appreciation and imagination--is greater than light itself.

Perhaps that is why I am so comfortable being a mediocre hedonist for the past two years. For all my childhood I was depressed. For all my teenage years I wanted to disappear. For now, success and happiness is so close and near... but I’d like to dream instead. When have I ever felt this comfortable? Time immemorial is the time I had this freedom--the relaxation.

[raenbouw]

[supahighposts]

[thesoo]

disagree halfway but funny

[taces]

[buzzfeed]

These facts sound crazy, but they’re actually true. 

[radicalmuscle-deactivated-2019]

Ok but lobsters are immortal?

[gtbsayso-deactivated20211226]

Functionally immortal, But as with everything inherent in the universe far from invulnerable. A rather cruel trade off

You’re functionally immortal but trade off is your flesh is delicious.

[mareya]

the other side

[thespoonmissioner]

[thesoo]

crying my heart out has given me so much joy

Oh the internal confusion and anger and other negative emotions that have been bottled up and have been masked by meaningless using of drug and texting and gaming and tv watching and food and cat adoring and etc.........

[ride-a-dromedary]

[ardentstrength-deactivated20170]

Shout out to the people who are making progress that can’t be seen. I’m proud of you.

[thesoo]

making progress that can’t be seen

[wordonrd]

[hennessyandmelanin]

when ya moms been sayin that y’all bout to leave for two hours, and you’re tired of waitin. 

[pinkowls]

The accuracy in the caption is amazing

[swiggitysweedom-deactivated2018]

A collection of badly misspelled names from Starbucks 

[dinobearthemighty]

I’m actually laughing. Virginia.

[flomation]

[source1 source2]

[astraniaaurum]

FUCKING LOST IT AT CLINT AND LOKI

[leandra-kinard]

Going through my favourites tag and saw this again. So I had to reblog.

[seurious]

[betterthankanyebitch]

[victorious]

me at the movies

[theinturnetexplorer]