The Sparsile @thesparsile - Tumblr Blog

a short memoir I made for our graphic novel class.

I know this account is practically dead at this point, but I’m really proud of what I made. I’m aware that it’s not mind blowing, but I’ve never drawn anything past stick figures until I was forced to for this class. So yes, it does look rough. But please don’t let it take away from the message. I want to spread awareness on the matter. Eating disorders aren’t as glamorous as people think it is. It’s actually very common not just for skinny people. So remember to be kind. both to yourself and others.

poem I wrote during philosophy class

Why do I fall in love with words?

the rising and falling of the sounds that tickle my ears

the vowels and consonants that fill the gaps between my brain

let me listen to you talk about astrophysics or politics

let me hear your fascinations, your curiosities

as I watch your eyes twinkle with wonder

making me realize that we really are made of starlight

reminding me of why we are just a speck in this universe

but you open your mouth and I hear the universe resonating within you

your infinite mind

reminding me of why ignorance is never blissful

you speak of theories and philosophies

of Schrödinger and Aristotle

as I think, people will talk about you the same way you talk about these great minds

and they will look at you in awe

and listen to you for hours

just like I do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remind me again why I swoon over smart guys and date the ones who call me out for being “too passionate” when I’m engaged in an argument? l o l

DISCLAIMER: I do not like my philosophy professor; he could literally be my grandpa. I am attracted to his brain though. I wish all people speak to me like that. I wish I speak like that. Anyway, yeah I’m talking about a different guy NOT MY PHILO PROF LMAO

#philosophy #smartness #sapiosexual #intelligent #sherlock #crush #smart guys #swoon #aristotle #poem

Seventeen

I still don’t know how the world works. I don’t know why I am here and even how I am here. I don’t know if I’m merely a speck in this universe or if there is a universe within me. I don’t know if I am happy or not. I don’t know what or who to love. I don’t know if I am a bad person or a good one. I am selfish. I am selfless. I am a cynic. I am a romantic.

Let me figure things out.

and it’ll all be okay.

The only email I will ever get to write to you

And so it ended just as it should. No postscripts. No talk to you later's. Best regards, Warm wishes, Sincerely, Yours Truly.

We meet again, nostalgia.

I was walking along the streets of Comembo Market when I met nostalgia once again.

She had the same grey hair. The same pixie cut a lot of grandmas have. Her droopy eyes looked just as tired as they were ten years ago. The scowl was still there as well; I’m starting to think it is permanently sewn into her mouth.

One thing I noticed was her scarf. She wore a different one this time. Ten years is a long time; long enough to get a new scarf.

But she always wore the same one.

Perhaps she misplaced her old scarf. Perhaps she got tired of it. Perhaps she decided it was time to get a new one. I laughed at myself. Even nostalgia has moved on from itself.

I watched her shrink in that street corner when I hopped on the tricycle and it drove me away.

She lingered, like she always does.

-

I saw nostalgia before she was old and grey. It was two days ago, on the train. Nostalgia was not a woman this time, she was merely a scent. She was vanilla and musk with a hint of rose petals.

My mom had worn nostalgia before. She had two jobs, three if parenting is counted. Before she would leave in the morning, she would spray it at least seven times and it lingered even until she was gone. I could smell it in the pile of unwashed clothes by the edge of the bed, on the brown body bag she wore from the other day, and on the pillowcases, even though she rarely ever slept.

I inhaled nostalgia until it left me at the next station. I was happy it did. I did not want to think about it anymore. It was the kind that made me feel happy I do not live in the past.

-

Except I do.

Nostalgia resides within me. It crawls onto my bed when it is night and I am staring at the ceiling, chokes me with my own tears and lies beside me as I try to sleep it off.

It sneaks its way into the songs that I play when I am on the bus and I am staring at the window, resonates inside my brain and forces shallow tears out of my eyes.

It greets me in the most unexpected places. I see it in strangers and billboard signs. I whispers to me, tells me that I should not be happy because I was happy. I should not be happy because it wasn’t always happy.

I am forever fixated on the good ones. I am scarred by the bad ones.

Nostalgia wins every time.

#nostalgia #prose #let me cry plz i hate nostalgia #nostalgic #i hate this feeling

Things I Have Realized: Promises

“Hi, it’s raining and I miss you.” I used to tell you. We would always talk anywhere we could--Facebook, Twitter, Wechat. When classes were suspended and you would tell me that all you wanted to do was to cuddle with me under a blanket, which of course would never happen because we couldn’t even see each other at that time. But I would still imagine myself wrapped around your arms, wearing my Snow White socks. I would always think about the conversations we would have, how many I love you’s we’d say, how long we’d kiss as we let the rain pour all day.

Hi, it’s raining and I miss you. Except, I can’t tell you that anymore because I told you we need to stop talking until we have moved on. I woke up today thinking how horrible this is. I used to believe that once you have promised something, it will always come true. As if your words are more than words. As if they were some kind of external force that would always push us both together. Like a curse, but the good kind. You told me you would never leave me and I somehow believed that that was it. You will never leave me. Because you said so. Two months have gone and I no longer blame you for breaking your promise. Instead, I am blaming you for making your promise. How could you have possibly known that nothing will ever hinder that?

Hi, it is raining and I don’t want to miss you anymore. Yet, I still imagine myself wrapped around your arms. I imagine you whispering “I’d never leave you.” and I imagine myself not believing you like I did before. I would say, “Don’t promise me that. You can’t promise me anything anymore. Whisper to me things about the present. We are never certain about the future.”

That would’ve saved me from all the hurt.

#rain #love #poem #prose poetry #raining #relationship #promises #promise #i miss you

Darren: Casey, it’s just rain it’s not going to hurt you.

Me: Yeah but I’m going to get wet.

Darren: Why do you shower then?

Me: Stop it.

#conversations #rain #yay #flowers

I always end up being the opposite.

xx C

#poem #poems #poetry #beauty #aesthetic #inspirational #who i want to be #poemsph #poemsporn #lol #daily reminder #beautiful

I’m still alive.

I haven’t written in a while.

Hello, blog. A lot of shit happened. It’s been almost a year since I wrote here. I guess I just never had the courage to actually continue writing. I believe that the writer’s block doesn’t exist. People are just too afraid to face the paper sometimes. There are a couple of reasons why. It could be because they didn’t want the commitment because they know whatever they’re going to write, it’s going to be long. It could also be because they don’t know how to start or how to end or maybe they have this perfect idea but they’re too afraid they won’t be able to justify it.

My reasons are all of the above. And you know what? I don’t care what to write or how to end, I’m just going to write because I decided I’m not afraid of my own words anymore.

#blogs #blog #help #college

Hi there! Diba po nakaabot po kayo ng RSPC? Ano pong category niyo? :)

Feature Writing!

Back to School Haul (College Edition)

It’s time for my favorite part of going back to school: School Supplies shopping!

This time, I’m kind of on my own because I’m already in college and I have absolutely no idea what to buy. So I just bought what I think I’d need. If you guys want to know what stuff I got, here you go!

#haul #back to school haul #school supplies #school supplies haul #studyblr #studyblr philippines #nbs #artbox #h&m #yay #hauls

Summer 2015

I had five months of summer. (Nope, not 5 seconds.)

I know it probably sounds like the dream. Wow you have five months! You can go all Phineas and Ferb with a summer that long! I was really just bored most of the time. But in hindsight, it was the best summer of my life. (I know, I said this last year too.)

So to start off my new old blog (ha ha), I gonna go through my bucket list and list down (and talk about) some of the things I checked off.

Heads up, this is gonna be kinda long.