worm in the brain finger in the booty ass bitch

RHOVANOR Eladrin Mind flayer loyal to the court of Drow

[zanephillips]

Ginny & Georgia 2x07 ‘Let Us Serenade the Sh*t Out of You’

[suzieneverlands]

[vogueman]

Felix Mallard for Tiffany & Co.

[mercenaryjonah]

Illithid. Jonah remember hearing the word in passing, so much of his reading and questioning come to nothing because there was no more that the cambion could recall of importance. Illithid. That's what Rhovanor was now, and yet some part of his old self remained. Dark and broody. He almost returned the smile, a tiny spec of amusement flickering within him and trying but failing to fight against all the angst and apprehension. This is so fucked up, the Illithid said and the cambion could not agree more. Of all the things that he said about him, Jonah was at least half relieved to hear Rhovanor wasn't completely insane - he recognized the cambions deadly faults. "So what is that if not a fucking monster?" He muttered out, a humorless smile peaking at the edge of his lips and fading just as fast because there was something else sparking in the illithid's eyes.

There was only so much goodwill that the cambion could have. There was a gentleness and a lightness to his heart that came at birth and was nurtured on by his human mother - but there was a darkness there too and a recklessness. He had opened up his heart in more ways than one: coming to realizations and admitting them as his heart shattered to pieces by Rhovanor's words. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stomach his own vulnerability. So when the kiss came and Jonah knew this was not a road they should take, he shoved his good sense away. He shoved it far, far away and instead pressed himself further against the illithid, grabbing onto his collar and shoving him up against the wall as he deepened the kiss.

[thesubjugoated]

He hadn't tried to regain his memories, or even to look back into the past, afraid of what had happened, knowing what happened through the eyes of their killer. Still, a part of him had spent the last 15 years in pure denial, of wanting to move on, like a complete fool. He'd never felt more powerful, more in tune with himself. Somniar had done something probably neither of them would've guessed: he'd managed to turn Rhovanor into someone he could be proud of. So why should he mourn the past? Their sacrifice ended up saving the world, with Rhovanor having helped to turn back time. The Illithid swallowed hard, unable to hide his emotions any longer. "Monsters don't have hearts."

Engaging the kiss, Rhovanor finally decided to take the lead. A free man at last, in tune with what he'd been made into, he finally longed to have everything his heart desired. Allowing himself to be happy was the first step to a better future, so, as Jonah deepened the kiss and turned him around by his collar, his own back now pressed against the wall, Rhovanor let out a slight groan. Lips lingered dangerously close to one another, with Rhovanor keeping the other away, until he couldn't stand the thought of not feeling his warm lips against his own. Dragging his fingers down and unter Jonah's shirt, Rhovanor quickly placed his hand against the Cambion's hip, squeezing with more force than possibly needed, not to bruise or hurt, but to make sure he stayed close. "You're my lost cause," Rhovanor continued," and I've found you, You've found me. That's all I've ever wanted to be: found." His body reacted to the sudden tension between them, the passion, but he kept quiet, his nose silently placed against Jonah's neck as he breathed in his scent, "You're everything and more."

[joshuaballsett]

[felandcris]

"I keep my word," most of the time, anyways. When it benefitted Felandaris in some way that was often the case; this did not, but neither would he abide going back on something on someone who had him a great service. "what do you intend to do now?" It wasn't as if the illithid didn't have options, though too much choice could break a person like him.

"We've been searching, but there was nothing: no witnesses, not a trace of evidence left behind." Felandaris was visibly frustrated by this, the implications seemed obvious that if they had not found something yet, then it was entirely likely that they never would. "The power balance has shifted, there are houses in the Underdark scrambling to ascend, the best of the best have been welcomed into the Court within the Otherworld." Things had indeed changed for the drow, the recently ascended dark elves with power that was no longer constrained. "Somniar's a survivor, he's adapting." Felandaris had Rhovanor in part to thank for that, hence his mercy and the small shows of kindness.

[thesubjugoated]

For some reason Rhovanor had trusted Felandaris, even before everything went down, even before Haven. Still a Drow, still powerful and selfish, Rhovanor considered himself one of the lucky few whose standing had actually somewhat improved over time. He could see why Felandaris fought as hard as he did. Trying to save Somniar, to get everything back he'd lost, it was through the eyes of a Drow that Rhovanor eventually understood the true meaning of loving someone. Putting aside one's differences and fight for a common goal, to find that one person who makes you happy. "I don't know, at least that's what I thought for the longest time. I guess adapting, taking control of my life," his voice was without any malice directed towards the Drow, "Titania's gone, Ayi'ig's gone," he looked towards Felandaris, "whoever did this knew their way around court, that I'm sure of," no outsider, that was his guess. Adapting to the Illithid mindset was still something he had to work on, despite his almost non-existing knowledge of his life before the tadpole, Rhovanor still knew what had happened to him, through Jonah, through others. He'd considered his old self weak because of what they'd told him and vowed to never fall prey to someone ever again.

"And you're trying to get on top? Well," Rhovanor snorted, "obviously." Scratching the back of his neck, Rhovanor just nodded in appreciation, "he deserves you, he really does," the Illithid's facial expression softened, "after all this time, don't you think it's time to just... live? Live in the moment , I mean."

[brenda-panicstation]

© PANIC STATION Felix Mallard

[thelaziestmotherfucker]

[thesubjugoated]

@mercenaryjonah

[wrongtitle]

[mercenaryjonah]

Rhovanor spoke so many words, so many truths, and each one stung more than the last. By the end of his voice it felt as though a knife has been thrust into Jonah's chest and now he was sure that he had been fooling only himself. This was Rhovanor. Somehow, someway, the fey had survived his change - or at least an integral part of him had survived. Jonah didn't cry; the nuns taught him crying was useless and such a thing stuck. But the lump in his throat made his voice waver and deepen with emotion as he finally found his own words. "And you fey are always so emotional," he breathed out. "Even now that part of you survived. You're really him." Jonah sniffed and nodded once stiffly. His heart bled and broke and, at the same time, it hammered away like a war drum at the memory of their kiss and how it had felt. The memory itself was enough to reawaken that part of Jonah that he kept locked away, something that he couldn't bring himself to think of now. Unlike Rhovanor, he hadn't ever had the luxery to allow himself to humor or consider love - not when he knew how this would end all along.

He didn't speak of the specifics of what he had done; if Rhovanor had deduced the unbreakable deal with the fey and the loophole that cost his parents his life than Jonah did not yet know. "Then if you're really Rho, you'll listen. I tried... I tried so hard to do right by your parents and I found nothing that could work. In the end, you still lost yourself, just like they feared you would, and then you still somehow saved yourself as well." He shook his head, teeth gritting. "And you know what, Rho, believe it or not, cambions have emotions too. Yeah, I kissed you, but we were just two blokes in that party and I- I remembered no reason why I shouldn't. All the care and the caution and the putting you at arm's length because I knew how this would end-" He raised a hand in a frustrated gesture, just to feel himself wither and let the arm fall back to his side; his voice also lowered. "Forget it, it doesn't matter. Whatever you decide now, just don't put my actions on your shoulders. None of that was your fault. You were never the reason I was a monster, or still am." No, he'd been the reason that the monster in him had started to fall asleep.

[thesubjugoated]

He had to give it to the Cambion: he was being incredibly difficult to hate, but still, a part of him did. For wanting him, for what he'd done and for not believing in Rhovanor. The Drow had believed in him, with the tadpole within ever growing and feeding, the Architect and his master constantly using him for their stupid games. Yet Felandaris had been the one to bring him all the way to Haven, someone he'd developed a close friendship with. Alas, regrettably, it was Jonah whose undivided attention he truly wanted. Like a moth drawn to the flames, perhaps, he wanted to be burned again. "I'm an Illithid, still me, not a monster." He wasn't his old self, he could barely remember a life before the war, but what he did remember included bits and pieces of his missions with Jonah, the kiss, the hints at a real understanding they'd shared. "Oh, shut up Cambion. Your kind only knows to be dark and broody." The corner of his lip raised into a slight grin which faded fairly fast.

He listened to the other carefully, just like he'd wanted Rhovanor to. The Illithid barely moved as he piled confession onto confession, pleading his case. He'd grieved for 15 years in his solitude, within a war most didn't remember. All the Illithid wanted was to move on from what could never be repaired. "How this would end? Like me falling for the murderer of my parents who'd been sent there to actually kill me? All for your fucking blood money?" His rage kept returning in waves, but he had to remain strong, in control or else another part would take over completely. "You're not a monster, just a fucking idiot, honestly." He pushed the other, gently, not as hard as their conversation probably warranted, "you're the reason for some sleepless nights while people died around me every year until there weren't many left. You're the sole reason I even felt that pain and yet..." he pushed him again until he couldn't hold it any longer. "This is so fucked up," he hadn't been an Eladrin for a long time and refused to let his former grace take over now. Too late for that now. Instead, the wilderness took over, with Rhovanor now grabbing the Cambion tightly, lips pressing together unceremoniously and intensely, hoping the Cambion would finally shut up about the past.

[brenda-panicstation]

© PANIC STATION Felix Mallard

[felandcris]

"Things we ask for are rarely what they hope they'll be." Rhovanor had made a show of wanting his independence, and his freedom; Felandaris had kept his word and saw to it that no member of the court would sink their claws into the illithid again. Even as the illithids gaze wandered across him the drow didn't spare a thought towards gouging out his eyes, though Rhovanor should have considered himself fortunate that Somniar wasn't present. In the scale of things, the mindflayer was still young, years of the fey's experience to feed from but little in the ways of worldly knowledge beyond surviving the apocalypse. Felandaris had no doubt that Rhovanor would find his way, whatever that looked like. He, like the others who'd persisted, at been invaluable in returning Somniar to him, that was not something that the Architect would ever forget. Somniar, who'd been weakened from this, who had to be coaxed to walk as tall as he once had. That would take time, but Felandaris' ambitions for the Inquisitor remained the same.

"There was a murder at Court, the Queen is dead, until her killer is apprehended neither I or my sorcerers will rest." Every drow in the Court was looking for evidence of the crime, but there was nothing. Someone had entered the Queen's private chambers and butchered her without so much as a trace of themself left behind. "This has all been a truly insufferable ordeal, but at least it's behind us now." Felandaris remarked, he looked forward to never associating with the creatures at the End again, but he still caught Rhovanor's gaze, "But we suffered it just the same, didn't we?"

[thesubjugoated]

"Yeah, kinda," he shrugged at Felandaris' poetic conclusion. Sure, the Illithid had wanted his freedom and hadn't anticipated the actual consequences of that, but everything sounded much more appealing than servitude, right? Right? If Rhovanor focused on anything but Felandaris, the prospect of freedom was the best choice after all. One look and he doubted himself. "I, uh, forgive me," he stumbled over his words and fell back into old habits, apologizing when he wasn't precise enough, "I'm still a bit overwhelmed with getting to know you this way. I know what you're capable of, which is to say I'm amazed with how much kindness you've shown me." He'd forever be grateful for his treatment among the Drow, which wasn't as bad as some, he knew that.

Felandaris' next words, however, caught him by surprise. The Queen, dead? Brows furrowed together in shock. Whoever did this must've been either strong or knew their way around court. He immediately suspected someone, but didn't dare to voice his suspicions, knowing it wouldn't lead anywhere. The Drow were ambitious and cutthroat, so... anything was possible. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know, alright?" Scratching the back of his head, the Illithid looked utterly confused as Felandaris remained truthful and so... available, for lack of a better word. "Despite my freedom, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know that." After everything, how could he not? There were worse monsters out there, even in his own heart, calling out to the Illithid and being in his thoughts. "How is he? You've got a lot of catching up to do, right?" he smiled softly, "Despite what happened to the Queen."

[mercenaryjonah]

"No, I wouldn't have told you shit, why would I have-" He stammered out these words, no thought behind them as his heart beat quick and his veins filled with adrenaline. He shook his head. "And why would you grieve when I've-" It wasn't the fact Jonah was pushed up against the wall, it wasn't the rage in the creature's eyes. It was the real grief, the real hurt that looked so genuine - he looked like Rhovanor. He sounded like Rhovanor. He acted like Rhovanor. Was this the fey he'd known? Had he somehow survived what the drow had done to him? His mind went wild with the possibility; he did not fight the way that he was held in a threat. Jonah shut himself up, dismissing all former trains of thought.

He breathed heavy as he reflected on the pros and cons of lying. There was no use now. Whether or not this was Rhovanor, the truth was out. Somehow the cambion been so emotional, so stupidly emotional, and he had done this by being honest when he shouldn't have been. Once Jonah had told himself to be more careful - clearly he hadn't been. There was hellfire in the cambion's veins and he didn't have it in himself to be kind when it felt like everything around them was falling to pieces. His voice lowered, the shock in his eyes faded and his expression darkened. "Did I actually tell you why I killed them? Did I tell you what your people wanted to do to you?" He scoffed, deflecting the horror that he felt inside as he continued spilling out words. "And you know why I always hated working with fey? The pay is the best but their magical binding contracts... they should realize that shit will backfire on them."

[thesubjugoated]

He was agitated, clearly visible at the way his chest raised and fell rapidly. The Illithid couldn't focus on anything else but Jonah at this point, with his heart fully attuned to his mind. The more he got into the moment, the worse his bodily reaction got. Heavy, quick breathing out of sheer anger, the way he balled his hands into fists until he could see the white of his knuckles, eyes wandering with intent, hoping to finally see Jonah break away from this charade. Nothing. "Why wouldn't I? One bad deed doesn't mean I don't get to mourn you," quite the opposite. Unfinished business, that was Jonah was, an unanswered question followed by an exclamation mark and a few hearts.

"Did I ever tell you how much I don't fucking care at this point?" there was a darkness approaching within, his voice changing ever so slightly, "did I ever tell you how much I want you despite everything?" he grew tired of twisting the truth, to not lie, but be a bit creative with his words. The truth, the whole truth. "The why doesn't even matter," he could feel himself tear up, " It's all my fault," the Illithid concluded, "what happened. It's in your nature," a total read, but he was exhausted, tired of their constant struggle. "So, what did you buy with that blood money? A new home? A nice car?" he could hear his own poison seep through the words, "you must've known the moment our eyes met. You kissed me anyway, and stained me too. I kinda don't want to wash it off now. That's the worst part."

[zanephillips]

Ginny & Georgia 2x07 ‘Let Us Serenade the Sh*t Out of You’

[felandcris]

@thesubjugoated location: outside the forum notes: pre memorial

While Felandaris had little interest in the memorial itself, he had spent fifteen years sequestered away with some of the worst types of people imaginable. Heroic martyrs, bleeding hearted simpletons, woefully depressed peasants, and irrefutably repugnant commoners. Alas, it was impossible not to look at the faces of the statues and not feel something. Kaan had taught him a great deal in working together, fresh knowledge was a rare currency for him these days. Everything that Felandaris had achieved and everything that had been returned to him was owed to the sacrifices of those Six fools. Damnable idiots. Blasted heathens. Morally repugnant cretins. He wouldn't miss them, but at the very least he would remember them.

"Is freedom everything you hoped it would be?" The truth was that only the coldest of illithids found a true place in drow society, the rest were only useful in their servitude. Sending Rhovanor away was an act of kindness because for whatever he was or might have been, he was an easy target. Permitted to walk about the Court freely and he'd end up under the boot of a lowly foot soldier, or the subjugated plaything of some bored Priestess. Compassion wasn't something the Architect was known for, but it was as Rhovanor had said, they were friends. He looked briefly towards the forum, in the distance he saw the crowds gathering and could make out the outline of the statues.

[thesubjugoated]

He'd dealt with survivor's guilt for the longest time, always considering him too lucky to ever made it out alive to begin with. A newly turned species, transforming into himself and then not, he wasn't the same anymore. His positivity turned out to be fake these days, with his mind being more powerful than ever, regardless of what had happened and how he felt. The Drow had made him more powerful, but the price for that was being cast aside, to be lonelier than ever. Even in servitude, as a slave to them, tadpole stuck in his brain and dick buried in his ass, he could see the upside of such an arrangement. Never alone, always in someone's company, the Drow court offered him wisdom beyond believe, a chance to prove himself? Now? All he could do was being... free.

He practically stared at his liberator and former second master, unable to not be happy to see him after all. Eyeing him, he checked him out for a bit , neither ashamed nor subtle about it. Titania, Lloth, whatever else is listening, forgive me, he's so hot. "Yes... no...?" He wasn't so sure, but he knew better than to show any insecurity around Felandaris. "The more time I spent as a free Illithid, the more wisdom and strength I gain. I'm focused on expanding my powers, I'll embrace what I am. And you? I hope life has treated you well. Now that you're rid of all of us," he grinned.

[joshuaballsett]

[vogueman]

Felix Mallard photographed by Justin Campbell for Tings Edition No. 6. Felix wears full look Alexander McQueen