here lies squidward's hopes and dreams

hello my name is smitty werbenjagermanjensen and I am #1

[typography-images]

[marchandfriends]

me, cleaning bird poop off of all my important possessions while my bird screams directly into my ear: I'd die for you

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

*wakes up feeling ugly* oh god I have to be funny today

[898-deactivated20210515]

[elasticitymudflap]

[platypusparfait]

No one:

Corporations: PRIDE is coming up you big, gay bitch! Give us your money!!

[by-grace-of-god]

The mystery of icon-preserving bees

For a decade, a beekeeper near Athens, has kept a tradition: every spring, he slips icons of Christ, the Holy Virgin and different saints in his beehives, in order to bless his bees and his yearly honey production. And every year, the very same mysterious phenomenon occurs: bees make their honeycomb cells around the pious images, meticulously avoiding covering them. 

[heartseeker]

[xecarez]

[smeasel]

[jingles]

x

[re-bee-key]

The struggle. The uneven tear. The cat fucking stomping the chocolate getting it everywhere. This video has it all.

[maggotgrass]

Im fucking crying

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i realized that Cisco’s logo does not only represent an electromagnet but also, the San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge

[lolsofunny]

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

[3dspenguin]

[unclefather]

“who ARE you” 

[amerixcan-horror-story]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[mitski-miyawakis]

when your therapist says “you wanna know what I think?” and you know you’re about to be read for filth

[rbgif]