I never handle change well. Change disturbs me. It disrupts me from the balance in my comfort zone. It makes me do things I never liked. It depresses me.
Adjusting to change is never easy. For me, at least. Battling with the endless what ifs and plan B’s I have in mind, handy in times of choosing flight instead of fight. I’ll always know the easy way out and have that linger on my thoughts when I’m at rest and come screaming at me at times when I want to escape.
They say new is always better. But is it? Let me understand why. Because every time I find myself in a new environment, every time I am surrounded by new people, I always stand by myself going with the flow and dealing with everything that comes to me. Acting all normal, but deep inside I am shaking with anxiety. I am frustrated with myself with how other people can do well in adjusting to these changes. Why can’t I?
Because the truth about change is that it will grab you at the time you think you are ready. And the only way to know if you are is when change finally comes to consume you and test you. Change might bring along some of his friends — fear, anxiety, and depression.
Fear is known to be a badass. She doesn’t show up that often though, unless you find her passing by and give her attention. Fear might be a badass, but for all we know she’s just such an attention-seeker. Never give in to Fear. She will definitely get closer the moment you start giving her the attention she wants.
Anxiety is that one noisy relative of your family you never want to be alone with because it would talk on and on and on and on about the things you never want to talk about. He is also kind of a player too. He likes to play mind games on people. When I met Anxiety, he never left me for days and then weeks. I thought he was just being friendly, trying to know me and my story. But god I never want to be friends with him. He likes to talk about lots of things and makes everything an issue! It was sooooo tiring to be with him. I think he needs to chill out. I really don’t like the way he stresses out on every single detail! Like imagine telling him about an experience you had back in high school. I swear he would just make an issue out of it and make it seem like the story never ended and has never been resolved. And the worst part is??? He likes to bring along his friend, Depression.
Now, Depression is a silent girl I met when Anxiety tried to be friends with me. She’s the type you never thought you would be friends with but end up spending a lot of your time with. But there was one problem with Depression. She was always negative. If you were sunshine, I swear she would suck out all the sheenie-shiny brightness out of you. She can control you and she will. She’s kind of a jealous person. Depression can make you isolate yourself from the people you love and the things you love to do. She just wants you and you alone.
And dear lord I never want to be friends with them. Ever again.
Because the truth about change is that you’ll get to meet them. But they’re not the only ones. As long as you know yourself better than them, you’ll definitely learn and know how to introduce yourself to a new set of friends.
One thing I learned about change is that it’s always best to never choose the easy way out. Choosing to never let these old friends consume you in your battle of adjusting to change will bring you greater things. By the end of the day, you are going to thank yourself for knowing you and believing that you can make it.
Give yourself credit. Thank yourself for choosing to go out of your comfort zone and for allowing yourself to grow. Thank yourself for opening up to the people around you and for accepting their helping hands. And thank them, for never leaving your side, for choosing to fight this battle with you.
Because the truth about change is that it will never be easy, but you know it’s gonna be worth it.
I dedicate this post to all the new friends I met this year, especially to my 16A batchmates! 💖
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