The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
AN: I'm sorry. It had to be done.
TW: Tumors, death, and grief.
Phil’s POV:
My hands wrapped around the mug, feeling the warmth seep into my skin. The only thing that seemed to be able to connect me to the world.
Dan reached for my hand, pulling it away from the mug. His cold hands were quite the change in feeling I needed in that moment. “I’m sorry, Phil. I know you were really excited.”
“It’s not even that…” I started to tear up again after sitting in silence for so long. “I just feel so bad for her…all of them. They’re all so…young.” Dan nodded a bit. His head turned to the sound of the door clicking. “She’s here.” I quickly pulled my hand away from his and wiped my tears.
Payton came into the dining room. “Hey!” Dan smiled at her. “How was school?”
“Good! We played a game in history where we had to guess American state capitals by racing to put them on the map! And I won!”
“That sounds really fun.” I tried to smile, choking up a bit.
Payton’s POV:
Papa doesn’t usually cry. I mean, I’ve seen him cry before. But not like this. Usually happy tears or because he got hurt. This wasn’t it. “What’s wrong? Why are you sitting there like…something happened?
“Uh…” Dad started. “Why don’t you come sit down for a bit. We have something to talk about.”
I slowly sat my backpack down, came over and sat down. “You’re scaring me…”
Dad sighed deeply. “Umm…there isn’t really a great way to say any of this.” I could see him searching for words in his mind. “…honey, you know how uh…how Kailey always gets migraines?”
“Yeah..why?”
“Well…they found out why.” I looked over at Papa, he too would get constant migraines. Papa’s eyes quickly darted away from me the moment I tried to make eye contact. Dad’s voice drew me back to him. “It’s because she had a brain tumor that was pressing against her skull, and uh…that’s what was causing them.”
“Oh…okay.” I nodded a bit. “So, they’ll do surgery right? You can remove tumors, right?”
“You can.” Dad nodded, not seeming hopeful for Kailey’s recovery. “But for Kailey, they didn’t catch it in time.”
I stared at dad for a moment. I couldn’t quite understand what he was telling me, like he was speaking in code. “What…what does that mean?”
He took my hands gently and his eyes cast to the ground. The cogs turned in his head before his eyes flickered back to me, filling up with tears. “Honey…Kailey passed away in her sleep last night.”
Dan’s POV:
I really tried to say it as softly as possible, but no matter who you are, that task will always remain crude. Payton ripped her hands away. “No. You’re lying.” She spoke so softly, as if I had come out saying I was joking, she’d laugh and everything would be okay—but it won't again, nothing will be the same for her starting from this very moment. This moment would remain etched in her eyes and memories forever, longer than any joyful memory she’s ever had or will.
“Payton, this is definitely not something I would lie about.” I remained calm, but silently wished I myself was.
Her eyes quickly filled with tears. “Bullshit! Fuck you!” She screamed and slammed her hands on the table. A dagger in my heart, as if I had chosen to take Kailey away from her. I knew she was hurting so I let it go and just took a deep breath.
“Payton.” Phil started to speak calmly. “Let’s take a breath.”
“Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!”
“Payton.” I grabbed her hand. “You need to calm down.” I attempted to de-escalate the situation. How does one deal with such a deep grief at such a young age?
Payton yanked her hand out of mine. “No I don’t! You don’t know what I need to do!” She started to hyperventilate. “She can’t be…that’s not—It’s not fair!” She started to dry heave and fell to her knees sobbing. “It’s not fair…”
“I know.” Phil came to her level. “It’s extremely unfair.” Phil opened his arms and let Payton collapse into them.
“She almost had the perfect life…” she sobbed into Phil’s shoulder as I slowly came down to the floor with them. She looked at me. “What happened? Why didn’t she get help?”
“Sometimes migraines are hard to find a source for.” I explained. “Jenny said that last night she had a migraine and went to bed early, and that was it. She fell asleep and just never woke up.”
Payton sobbed again and stayed cuddled in Phil’s lap. “What about Ethan?”
“We don’t know how Ethan is handling this right now. But, Jenny says the funeral is this Saturday. We are going to go to Manchester on Friday, go to the funeral, and then bring Ethan home on Sunday.”
Payton’s eyes looked up at mine. “Can we keep her room for a bit?”
“I think…” I started, choosing my words carefully. “I think we can keep it for a little bit.” I kissed the top of her head as Phil held her close.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Dan’s POV:
“Phil!” I called out. “I need the screw driver!” I looked at the instructions for the bookcase we were building. We were currently cleaning out the guest room for Ethan’s future room. Payton was putting all the junk into a box. “Where should I put these?” She asked.
“Just take them to the garage.” I smiled as she left the room. I sat in silence for a bit. “Phil!” I yelled again.
Phil came in, holding up the drill. “Danger men at work.” He smirked. “Let’s show those builders who’s really in charge.”
“You gotta stop with this weird builder complex thing you’ve got going on with them.” I laugh a bit. “Give me the drill. I don’t trust you for a second with that.”
“I know how to use a drill!”
“Just like you know how to open a bottle of super glue?” I teased.
Payton came running back in. “Okay! Now what? Give me a job!”
“Come help me build this bookshelf.”
Payton joined me in putting together the bookshelf, meanwhile Phil started cleaning out the wardrobe which was full of random jackets.
“When are you bringing them home?” Payton asked.
“Next weekend.” Phil commented before he left the room with a box full of jackets.
Payton let out a little squeal. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to set up Kailey’s room!”
I found myself smiling at her enthusiasm. “Now, when they do get home, let them decompress. I’m sure this is a big change for them. And Kailey is going to be having a lot of doctors appointments these first few weeks. Phil and I want to get her help with her migraines.”
She giggled and nodded. “And then they get to come to my school?! And hang out every day with me!! Dad! This is great! I’m so excited I don’t think I can sleep knowing we’re so close to being together again!”
“I’m glad you're excited.”
“I am! So much! I think I’m going to explode!!” Payton threw herself onto the bed, giggling endlessly.
I got up and set the bookcase against the wall. “Alright. The bookcase and wardrobe is all done. And, I think because we’re going to clean out my room for Kailey’s, we can give Ethan my bedding.”
Payton sat up quickly. “Really? Oh that’s cool! What about Kailey?”
I smiled. “Jenny told us that she likes pink, so we got her a pink bedding set. We would’ve done the same for Ethan but he likes black and we already have a black set.”
Payton’s POV:
Dad was vacuuming Kailey’s room when I walked in. He stopped vacuuming and smiled. “Hey, watcha doing?”
“Just thought I’d give Kailey my alarm clock. She doesn’t like silence either…and I’ve gotten pretty used to it by now.”
He smiled a bit. “That’s very nice of you.”
I came over to her bed and plugged it in, setting it down on the bedside table after I had set the correct time. I looked around, taking everything in. “Wow. Your room went from sad and closed off to…pretty princess.”
Dad laughed. “Yeah…yeah it did.” He sat down on the bed and looked around. “It’s getting late, you should be in bed.”
I giggled and looked up at him. “I told you! I’m too excited to sleep!!”
Dad chuckled. “Oh really?” He swept me up off the bed, causing me to squeal. He took me to my room and laid me on the bed, turning out the lights and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Too excited huh?”
“Mhm!”
“You know, the faster you sleep, the faster the weekend comes!” Dad kissed my forehead as he tucked me in.
I held my arm out to him. “I can’t fall asleep cause you’re not scratching my arm.” I put out a lip and gave him sad puppy eyes.
He chuckled “Okay, okay. But no more talking. Only sleeping.” He smiled and started to trace my arm. I closed my eyes and cuddled my bear. I felt Dan’s other hand reach for my hearing aids I was still wearing, letting the world fall into pure silence. I felt everything become heavy and fade away.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Hello! AN here! Just wanted to let you know, I am deaf myself so everything I write with Payton being deaf is how I experience it! Being deaf is a different experience for everyone, this representation is how I go through it! Love y'all! <3
Dan’s POV:
“Dad!” A pillow hit my face. “Wake up! Wake up!”
“Ugh! I’m up! I’m up!” I quickly sat up. “What time is it?!” I quickly checked my phone. “6:40 am? Really?”
Payton giggled a bit. It had been a few weeks since we brought her home from the hospital and she was already doing so much better. “School starts at 8! Let’s go!” She picked up the pillow and smacked Phil in the face before laughing and running out of the room.
I sighed and shook my head. Phil and I wanted Payton to wait a little longer for her to go to school but she wasn’t having it. She was ready and impatient; we eventually gave in and said she could go sooner.
I stretched and got out of bed before I went to the kitchen to find Payton was already eating a bowl of cereal. She waved at me. “Can I wear makeup to school?”
I poured Phil and I some coffee, nodding slowly. “That’s fine, not too much though. And I want you to wear your hearing aids.” We had to get Payton new hearing aids after the car accident.
Payton’s POV:
I squealed and ran off to my room to get ready. I sat down on the floor in front of my mirror to do my make up and my hair, then I got in my uniform.
“Payton!” I heard knocking on my door. “7:30! We gotta go!” Papa shouted.
“Coming!” I put my hearing aids in, and suddenly the knocking became louder. I shut my eyes and cringe in pain as all the sounds flooded in. I could hear the heater running, the footsteps in the hall, and Dad's mumbling as he walked around the house. It floods in so fast, I stand still and wait for my brain to stop spinning as the sounds settle. I grabbed my backpack, ran to the car and got in. “Let’s go!!” I called as Dad and Papa came to the car.
Dad came out with the keys. “Phil’s lagging behind, he’s exhausted.” He chuckled and got in the car. I climbed into the back seat and waited impatiently as Papa locked up the house. I leaned over the front seat and pressed the horn of the car, earning myself a laugh from Dad but a strict look of disappointment from Papa. He finally got in the car and Dad drove to school.
I watched as we pulled up to the school. Suddenly all my excitement left my body. There were so many people. “Oh my god..”
“Online school is still an option.” Dad reminded me. “We understand if you don’t want to go to public school.”
I sat there frozen, watching all the other kids. They all lived normal lives this whole time. And here I was. “N-no…I’ll be fine…”
“Okay, you have your phone, text us if you need anything. And I mean it.” Dad smiled. “You want me to walk you in?”
“No, I want to do it by myself.” I slowly pulled the handle of the door and stepped out, imagining myself like those movie scenes where the movie star or the popular girl, or the bad boy finally arrived. I made my way through the crowds of kids who had already formed their groups, wondering which one I’ll be in. I went to the front office to get my schedule and headed to my class. Navigating the halls, mainly the other kids as they flooded through, blocking the classroom numbers. Finally I reached the room and went inside. It was empty and silent, only the teacher was there at her desk, typing at her computer. She turned to me and smiled, she began to move her lips so I assumed she was talking to me.
“I’m sorry?” I asked. “I’m deaf.” I signed as I came closer to her.
“Oh! I said you must be Payton. The new girl? Your father emailed me.” I nodded.
“Well here, let’s have you sit in the front so you can hear better, and if you need me to repeat anything, don’t be afraid to ask. The class likes to talk over me a lot! I don’t repeat it for them but I’ll repeat it for you.” She smiled and showed me a desk by hers.
I made it through my first three classes pretty easily. During lunch, I sat down by myself in the grass. I opened my lunch and began to eat. Papa made it and packed it. He had made me a peanut butter sandwich and tried to cut it up into a heart, then gave me some carrots, chips, and a soda can.
“Excuse me?” A voice broke through. I looked over, seeing a guy with black hair.
“Hi…” I smiled a bit.
“Can I sit with you?” He asked.
“Oh, sure.” I moved over a bit as he sat down.
“You new here? I haven’t seen you before.”
I nodded. “I am. My name's Payton.”
“Liam. When did you move here?”
“Oh, uh–I’ve been in London since October. I just have been homeschooled.” I smiled.
“Oh, nice!” Liam smiled. “I used to be homeschooled when I was younger. But stopped when I was like eight years old. What made your family move here?”
I thought for a moment, I didn’t know if I should tell him about Dad and Papa. “Umm, I don’t know. My parents don’t tell me much.” I chuckled nervously.
He nodded. “That’s fair.”
“Don’t you have friends you want to hang out with?” I ask. "Why are you with me?”
“Whoa!” Liam threw his hands up in defense, laughing a bit. “I just saw you here and figured I’d welcome you to the school.”
“Right…sorry…” I laughed slightly, nervous I might have done something wrong..
“It’s alright.” He chuckled.. “To be honest…i’m not very favored around here. I don’t like cliques so I stay away from them.” He chuckled a bit. “Saw you and figured I could snag you before the cliques did.”
I laughed a bit. “Popular kids suck…so I hear.”
“They do! Trust me, they do!”
“Do you have a phone number?” I asked as I handed him my phone.
He nodded and put his number in my phone, and so did I.
After school, Dad picked me up. “How was school? Hate it? Love it?”
“It was fun!”
“Fun? You’re crazy.” Dad chuckled and drove to the house. “But I’m glad you’re having a good time in school. Did you get homework?”
“Yup!” I laughed and sat back. “I can’t wait to go back!”
“Something's wrong with you. I think I need to exchange you for a new kid. No kid should like school.” Dad joked and parked in the driveway. “Go get your homework done.” He ruffled my hair, I shoved his hand away as I ran out of the car and up to my room.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Hello! I'm sorry I disappeared again! I am in my last stretch of my associates degree and I am stressing! Here is the next chapter! Love y'all! <3
CW: Hospitals, coma, therapy.
Dan’s POV:
“And for you, Sir?”
“Huh?” I looked over at the waiter who was smiling at me, almost too giddy, in an uncanny way.
“What would you like to order?” He asked.
“Oh…um...I’ll take the uh…the salad.” I closed the menu and handed it over. “Thank you.” I whispered and tried to give a soft smile as the waiter nodded and walked away.
“Dan…” Phil spoke softly. “Your mom said to get anything you want. This date is supposed to be a distraction.”
“I’m just not hungry.” I reassured Phil. I hadn’t been hungry for a while. I habitually reached for my phone, forgetting that Phil took it from me when we walked into the building. Mom had made us go out for dinner while she watched Payton. She said it would be good for us and I know she’s right, however, it was difficult to keep my mind off of Payton.
The date was almost silent. I observed everyone around us, the laughing, the casual conversations, the deep conversations. Though these people presented fine today, I knew I truly had no idea what was going on in their lives, neither did they in mine. And that did make me feel slightly better.
“The producers want to put on a pizza party for us. Just another distraction. Maybe you could film a podcast episode with me.” Phil eventually spoke up.
I nodded, liking the idea. “Perhaps I could do that. Thank you for taking the podcast over while I watch Payton, by the way.”
“It’s fun! I have free reign!”
I laughed a bit. “And now I’m scared.”
Phil finished his dinner and paid our tab. We headed back to the hospital but took a slow walk, admiring the city, the silence, and each other.
Mom eventually went home. The next few weeks were just silent. Payton was supposed to start school two weeks ago. I started to go home once a week while Phil stayed with Payton. She was never alone. Phil continued to make videos for the channel without me.
I was on the phone with mom. “Yeah, I’m thinking about making a video with Phil. It will be a few hours at the studio and I think I’m finally feeling okay enough to trust the nurses alone with Payton.”
“The nurses will take care of her, Dan. Take a break.”
“Right…” I sighed. I heard the monitor start to beep faster. I turned around to look at Payton’s heart rate, only to see it had gone up. I caught a glimpse of Payton, who to my surprise, was fluttering her eyes open. “Oh my god—” I dropped my phone and quickly ran to Payton’s sign. Payton began to panic and tried to take her ventilator out. “Hey, hey, hey.” I gently moved her hands away. “It’s okay! You’re okay! You’re in the hospital baby.” I pressed the call light and smiled at Payton as I began to cry a bit. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
The nurses came in, barreling in, almost pushing each other to the ground. They began their assessment as I took a hold of her hand gently.
Phil’s POV:
I was cleaning the studio. We were going to have a little pizza party for fun, the producers decided to put it on to get Dan and I’s mind off things and then we’d film a podcast episode. I heard my phone ring from across the room and I went to answer it. “Hello?”
“Phil! Payton’s awake.”
I felt my heart skip. My baby girl was awake and I wasn’t there. I quickly went to the hospital to find Dan with Payton. I don’t think I ever ran that fast before in my life. She no longer was intubated, was sitting up and somewhat giggling a bit. I came in. “Payton…”
She looked over and smiled. “Papa…” she whispered in a really raspy voice.
“Her voice is very dry right now. They said with a bit of occupational and speech therapy, they’re hoping it’ll return to normal.” Dan smiled and showed me the piece of paper they were working on. “Right now, we’re working on naming colors and shapes.”
I took a seat with the two, Dan pointed to a shape on the paper. “Square…” Payton whispered.
“And what color is it?”
“Orange…”
I smiled a bit and kissed the top of her head.
At night, I stayed at the hospital with Dan and Payton. Payton was given an oxygen mask to sleep with. We had let Jenny know that Payton woke up, she was on the way with Ethan and Kailey.
In the morning, I heard their voices down the hall, and soon, Kailey ran around the corner. “Payton!” She practically screeched.
“Whoa! Whoa! Quiet, quiet,” I warned. “There are other people trying to get better.” We hadn’t brought the two home yet but I was already treating them like my own kids.
Kailey came to Payton’s bedside as Ethan came in with a present. “How do you feel?!”
“Kinda okay. My whole body hurts.” Payton spoke softly. “They want me to start walking tonight.”
“Well, the quicker you walk, the quicker you can go home, right?” Ethan asked as he looked over at Dan and I.
Dan nodded a bit with a chuckle. “Once she can walk down the hall by herself, yes, they will discharge her.”
Kailey grabbed the present and pushed it towards Payton. “Open it!”
“Okay! Okay!” She giggled and ripped through the tissue paper. She pulled out a stuffed Axolotl. “Oh my gosh!” Payton squealed. “It’s so cute!! I love it!”
“When I used to go to the doctors, my dad would always get me a stuffed animal. I had a huge collection!” Ethan smiled a bit.
Dan’s POV:
I was helping Payton out of bed. She slowly set her feet down and balanced herself, I held her hands gently as she did most of the work. Phil watched, making sure nothing was in her way. Payton slowly started to take a step forward, cringing at the pain. “Go as slow as you need to. It’s not a race.”
“I want to go home.” She whined.
“And you will, but for now, you need to go slow.”
Payton began to walk, taking one step forward and another, wincing at every step she took. We walked from the bed to the door and back to the bed.
After a week of observations and many attempts at walking, we finally got to take Payton home. We packed her presents and brought them to the car. I helped Payton to the car and buckled her in. I kissed her cheek as Phil got in the back seat with her. I got in the car and finally, after so long, got to drive home with my family.
Where were you when the phupload happened? Oh me? Not that big of a deal just STUCK ON A MOUNTAIN WITH MY GEOLOGY CLASS LOOKING AT EARTHQUAKE FAULT LINES. NOT THE TIME DADS.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
TW: Hospitals and Disassociation
Phil’s POV:
The ride home was silent. Usually Dan drives the car, but he stayed at the hospital with Payton. I didn’t even bother to turn on the radio. Payton’s things were on the passenger seat. I drove carefully and slowly home as I was on edge the entire time. I would hit the brakes every time I thought there was even a slight chance at a crash. If I came too close to a car, I could feel myself starting to panic. I stayed a little under the speed limit, and definitely had a few cars honking at me.
Finally, I arrived home. I parked in the driveway and slowly made my way to the front door. The earth was still spinning yet my world was frozen. I walked through the door and once it shut I couldn’t help but fall to my knees and just began to sob. The house was so silent, still and unlike the world. Empty, no videos being filmed, no Payton joking around, no Dan playing roller coaster videos loudly from the lounge. I sat there for about half an hour: just…crying. I’d like to believe I had held it together for Dan pretty well at the hospital and since I was alone now, I was able to cry without scaring him.
It soon felt like I couldn’t cry anymore. I was exhausted and thirsty, but of course I had to keep carrying on. I was able to move on to Payton’s room. I grabbed a small bag and packed some stuff I thought she would like. Her bear, her weighted stuffed turtle, her blanket, a hair brush. I went to Dan and I’s room. I packed him a toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, a few changes of clothes, a brush, a phone charger, and his laptop. I moved in silence throughout the house. Sometimes silence is nice after a long day, but this silence was just different. The air was still and the silence was oddly deafening.
The doorbell rang; finally she was here. Another voice to talk to other than my own anxiety. I practically ran downstairs and opened the door where I was met with a puffy eyed Mrs. Howell. “Oh Phil.” She whispered and hugged me. “Where’s Dan?”
“He’s at the hospital with Payton.” I explained. “Come in. I’m just packing them a bag. The house is a mess, I’m sorry.” I apologized quickly.
“You don’t need to apologize. How are you handling all of this?” She asked.
I froze for a bit. I had to be the one to keep going. “I’m fine.” I wiped my tears.
“Phil…”
“Really, I’m fine. I’ve got it handled.” I tried to convince her, but really I was just trying to convince myself. I finished packing Payton’s and Dan’s bag. “Do you want to see Dan? I’ve left him for awhile now, we should probably head back.” I ushered Mrs. Howell out the door, trying to escape the silent house.
Dan’s POV:
“Sir?” I heard through the blur of reality. “Sir?”
“Huh?” I looked up to see a nurse trying to talk to me. “Oh, sorry. Uh…hello…”
“Hi there.” She smiled sweetly. “Did you need water or anything?”
“Uh…no—no I’m okay…thank you.” I wiped my tears.
“Sir, you should drink some water.” Her eyes relaxed. She was right. I had been sitting in the same spot for the last 3 hours, just staring at my baby. She wasn’t only taking care of Payton, but she was looking out for me, and I really appreciated that.
“I suppose you’re right. I’ll take some…if it’s no trouble?”
“Of course it’s no trouble.” The nurse left and soon reappeared with the water.
“Thank you.” I smiled and watched the nurse leave. I turned back to Payton and took her hand again. I heard knocking on the door frame and turned to see Phil standing there, smiling softly at me. “Hey!” I smiled a bit.
Phil came in. “Hello! Your mom is here.”
She turned the corner. “Daniel!”
“Mom!” I started to tear up again and got up to hug her. Mom hugged me tightly as I buried my head into her shoulder. She finally caught a glance at Payton. “Oh, baby girl.” She sighed and came over to her side.
Phil put a backpack down. “I brought some stuff for us and her. “I got Payton’s bear and turtle, along with a blanket.” He pulled it out and set it next to Payton, then set the blanket on her.
I smiled a bit and kissed Payton’s head. “Grandma’s here, babygirl.” I whispered softly. “The doctors say she can hear us, so if we want to talk about anything serious I want us to leave the room so we don’t scare her.” I requested. “But other than that, she’s stable and we should just be talking normally. Talk to her, each other, play music she likes, all that.” I smiled a bit. “Did you call Jenny?”
“I did.” Phil nodded. “She said the kids are wishing her well, they’d love to see Payton but I think it’s best if we wait until she’s awake.”
I nodded. “We’ll have to push back the adoption a bit. At least a few weeks after we get Payton home.” I took a seat again and gently took Payton’s hand. I glanced up at my mom. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course, you two need someone.” She smiled a bit. “How about you two stay here for the night and I’ll go wash up the house?”
“You don’t have to do that.” I shook my head.
“It would be nice to come home to a clean house.” She insisted.
I chuckled a bit. “I guess so.” I looked up at Phil then back at mom. “We would appreciate that.”
She smiled and came over. “You two text me if you need anything. And I mean anything.” She kissed my head. “I’ll see you three in the morning.” She smiled softly and left.
That night, Phil was asleep in the hospital chair. He was curled up and slightly snoring. I was watching Payton’s vitals. We were playing gentle music for her the whole night. Eventually I heard Phil’s voice. “Dan.”
I jumped slightly, surprised he was actually awake. “Yeah?” I turned to him.
“You can’t get fixated on that.” Phil said, referring to the monitors.
“I just…I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“The doctors said she is stable, we’re just waiting for her to wake up.” Phil came over and pulled me away. “I’m going to turn your chair around if you can’t stop looking at it.” He warned.
I laughed a bit and laid my head against his chest. “How do you even sleep in these chairs?”
“It’s not comfortable. I was barely getting any sleep.” Phil chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.
The next few days were nothing but silence. Phil and I sat around on our laptops, working on some projects but had to put a pause on a few things. Mom came around to check up on us.
“You two should go out.” She suggested. “Get your mind off things.”
I shook my head. “Someone needs to be here with Payton.”
“I’ll be here with her.” She smiled. “It’ll be alright.”
Though I was quite hesitant, Phil managed to drag me out of the hospital and took me to a nice restaurant. “Aren’t you worried about Payton?” I asked.
“Yes and no. I’m always worried about her. But, she is being taken care of by the nurses and watched over by your mom.” Phil eyed the menu. “I’m more worried about you. You’ve done nothing but sit at her bedside all week. You need a distraction.”
I sighed and sat back in my chair. “I just…I want her to be okay.”
“And so do I, but you need to take care of yourself as well.” Phil set his menu down.
“She would’ve started school this week.” I took a sip of my water. I didn’t even feel like getting a nice drink.
“And she will start school when she is healthy again.” Phil reached for my hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “I promise, we’re going to get through this.”
Regarding today’s podcast with the mics, I’m curious to see who else had issues hearing them. I can usually make them out but today was not it. I know they didn’t know about the mics until it was too late, but the Patreon captions don’t help since they’re wrong. Just curious of who else had this issue?
I’ve been struggling with mental health lately and SH. I’ve also been being bullied at work. Today, in an effort to calm my self down, I finally got myself the tattoo I’ve been wanting in honor of my mental health.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
TW: Car crash, hospital, doctors.
Dan’s POV:
Three hours later and I was still editing the video. My phone rang and I tried to ignore it. Something tugged at me though, so I had to answer it. It was Phil. “Hello?”
“Dan! Get to the hospital now!” Phil screamed into the phone.
“Whoa whoa! What’s going on! Phil, slow down. What’s happening?” I spoke calmly, trying to get Phil to match my cadence.
“Payton got hit by a car! Get to the hospital now!”
I don’t know how many lights I ran. I don’t even remember half of the drive. I ran into the hospital, slammed my hands on that nurse's desk, and tears streamed down my cheeks. “Payton Tucker!! What room is Payton Tucker in?!” I demanded.
The nurse quickly looked through her computer. “Emergency 411. But sir—“ I ignored whatever comment she had and let myself into the emergency department. The nurse tried to call after me. “Sir! Sir!” I let her voice become distant until it was blurred by the voices of doctors. I felt as if I was going to pass out right there; the world was spinning and I was frozen. Through the blurry vision of my glossy eyes, I found her room. The door was shut but I looked into the window. There Payton, my baby girl, laid lifeless on the bed as nurses and doctors surrounded her.
“Dan!” I heard. I slowly turned to see Phil coming to me. He took a look at the window before hugging me and turning me to face away from the window. “Don’t look. They’re helping her. They’re helping her.”
Phil and I were taken to a conference type room. I paced about and shook my head. “I shouldn’t have let her go. I knew it. I should’ve driven her. She wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have let her go.” I mumbled.
“Dan, sit down please.” Phil tried to convince me to take a breath.
“No. No. I will not sit down.” I pulled at my hair. “Ugh! Fuck! Tell me again what happened.”
“I was on the phone with her. She said she wanted Starbucks and I told her okay. So I assume she started walking there and then I just heard this clash. Then sirens came over the phone. A cop picked up the phone and talked to me. Told me what happened. I immediately called you. Then I went to the train to get here.” Phil sighed.
“Oh my god. And who hit her?!”
“Some lady who was coming home from shopping. She was texting and driving.”
Soon the door opened and a doctor came in. “Hello. Which one of you is that young lady's father?”
“We both are.” Phil stood up and shook the doctor's hand.
I finally took a seat and let my head fall into my hands. “Is my baby girl okay?” I cried harder.
The doctor closed the door and sighed. “I have good news and bad news.”
“Is she alive?!” I demanded.
“She is alive.” The doctor confirmed. “However, she was hit at 50 kilometers per hour. She has a broken wrist, a few broken ribs, and a collapsed lung.”
“What’s the good news?” Phil asked.
The doctor sighed. “The good news is that she is alive.” He said bluntly. “Due to the trauma her brain has sustained, she has gone into a coma.”
“What?!” I sobbed. “N-no…no.” I looked at Phil. “Philip…” Phil took my head and hugged me from behind as I sobbed harder. He gently pushed my hair back, running his hand through my curls.
“She is currently on a ventilator and we are hoping for her to wake up in a few weeks.”
“Weeks?” I asked.
“Yes. Coma patients can wake up anywhere from a few days to a few months. Sometimes in rare cases, years. But we're optimistic with Payton.”
“Can we see her?” Phil asked.
“Yes. Yes you can.” The doctor stood up.
Phil came to face me and lifted my chin. “Want me to go see her first? I think you need a bit of time to catch your breath.”
I nodded a bit. “Just leave the door open…”
Phil nodded and left with the doctor. I watched as nurses and doctors walked by. Hearing discussion amongst them, hearing the paging for doctors across the hospital, laughing from the nurses at the station down the hall, and here I was, not knowing if my daughter was going to wake up or not. Phil finally returned after what felt like an eternity though it was only a few minutes. He knelt to me. “She’s ready to see you, but she is hooked up to a lot of cords. Do you think you can handle seeing that?”
I nodded a bit. Phil helped me stand up and took me to Payton’s room. I walked in slowly and there she was. She had yellow hospital socks on, a clean hospital gown, a blood pressure cuff on her upper left arm, IV in her right arm, hooked up to an ekg machine, a pulse oximeter on her left hand, and of course, the ventilator.
Phil led me to a chair that was by Payton’s bed and helped me sit down. “Want me to call your mom?” He suggested.
I nodded. “Yeah…yes please.” I sighed and wiped my tears. Phil nodded and left the room, stepping out into the hallway. Two nurses were on the other side of Payton’s bed. One was taking a sponge to Payton’s head and the other was braiding her hair. “What are you doing?” I asked.
One of the nurses looked up and smiled softly. “I am cleaning the debris off of her so she’s all clean and my partner here is braiding her hair so it won’t get matted while Payton is admitted.” She spoke so softly and reassuringly.
“Oh…okay.” I watched and found my eyes looking at Payton’s hand. The nurse must’ve noticed because she spoke up.
“You can hold her hand.”
I shyly took Payton’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to let her know I was here. “Daddy’s here, Payton. Daddy’s here.” I smiled at Payton then looked up at the nurse. “Can I give her a kiss?”
“Of course.”
I smiled and gave Payton a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Daddy’s here.” I whispered.
Phil’s POV:
I sat in the hallway and watched as nurses and doctors walked by. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally, Mrs. Howell answered. “Hello?”
“Hey Mrs. Howell, it’s Phil. Uh…listen—I’m calling about Dan—“
“Is he okay?”
“He’s okay…physically.” I sighed. “Payton is in the hospital…she uh…” I wiped my tears, trying to hold it in. “She got hit by a car…”
“What?!”
“Yeah…uh…she isn’t doing too well and Dan isn’t doing great either…”
“Oh my god.” Mrs. Howell spoke softly through the phone. “Okay, umm. I’m going to get on the next train I can. Okay? You boys need some support and love. Let me just pack and I’ll be on my way.”
“Okay…thank you…” I smiled and walked down the hall. I found a room labeled “family room”. I opened it to find an empty room that was quieter than even my house at 3 am. I sat down and took it in. “I should call my mom.”
“You do that, Phil. I’ll see you soon.” Mrs. Howell spoke. “Goodbye, Phil.”
“Goodbye.” I hung up and let my head fall into my hands. I took a couple of deep breaths before I dialed my moms number.
“Hey Phil!” Mom answered cheerfully.
“Hi mom.”
“What’s wrong? You sound sad.”
“Uh…Dan and I are at the hospital…Umm…Paytons hurt…she’s really hurt…” I tried to contain myself.
“Philip…what happened to Payton?”
“She got hit by a car. She’s in a coma. Dan’s with her right now and I’m just informing everyone.” I sighed.
“Oh my god—“
“Dan’s mom is heading into town to help out.”
“Good. You two shouldn’t be alone with all that.” She sighed.
I nodded despite her not being able to see me. “I just…I just needed to let you know. I should uh…I should head back to Dan now.”
“You do that, baby.”
“Bye, I love you mom.” I sighed and hung up. I took one last look at the room, taking in the silence before leaving. I headed back to the emergency department room to find Dan sitting with Payton, holding her hand. “Hey.” I smiled. “Your mom is heading into town.”
“She is?” Dan smiled a bit. “Gosh the house is a mess.”
“I think she’ll understand.” I smiled a bit and came over to Payton’s side.
Dan reached for a bag that was by the chair. “They dropped this off while you were gone. I guess it’s all of Payton’s stuff.” He opened the bag and began to go through it. Inside was Payton’s clothes, ripped and stained. Her glasses were miraculously okay. Her phone was shattered. Her tote bag was tangled up. Her wallet. Her hearing aids were destroyed.
“I can go by the house and drop all this off, get some of Payton’s stuff, clean up a bit.” I suggested. “Wait for your mom.”
Dan turned back to Payton. “Yeah, that might be best. Can you bring me some stuff too? I don’t want to leave her here.”
I nodded. “I can do that. Will you be okay alone?”
“I’ll be okay.” He smiled weakly at me.
I smiled and kissed his head before leaving. “Okay, I’ll be back.”
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
TW: Creepy men encounters, car crashes
Dan’s POV:
I was editing a video when I heard the tiny feet scutter through the house. Soon, “Dad! Dad!” The sound of Payton echoed in the office. She bounced up and down, impatiently waiting to say something.
I held up a finger to signal that I needed a moment. I finished the segment I was editing then turned to her. “Yes?”
“Can I please, please, go see a movie at the cinema? The trailers look so cool and I have to go see it!”
“What are the show times?” I asked.
“There’s one that starts in an hour. If I leave now, I can make it!”
“I won’t be finished editing this in an hour.”
“I can go by myself!” She suggested.
I studied her, then laughed. “No. You’re not going to the cinema by yourself.”
“What?! Why not?! I am 14! I am perfectly capable of going by myself! You have a tracker on my phone! I can call you when I get there! Call you when I get out! I’ll be okay! Please?” She begged.
I sighed. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone out there.”
“Ugh! Papa!” She called out. Of course, Phil came to her call.
“Yeah?”
“Payton wants to go to the cinema…alone.” I chuckled. “I told her no.”
“I am a teenager! I’m going to public school next week! I’m finally out of a foster home! Let me experience it normally!” She grabbed Phil’s hand and shook it dramatically.
Phil chuckled. “Well, what ways have you shown us you’re responsible lately?”
“I’ve done all my chores! I save my money! I-I remember to take my hearing aids out before I shower! My grades are always good! You can see where I am all the time! Please!” She threw herself into the moon chair and hugged the pheal.
I smiled and looked at Phil. “I think she might be ready for a trip by herself.” Phil said.
“Fine. I’m not happy about it, but this is your chance to prove me wrong.” I chuckled.
Payton popped up out of the chair. “Oh thank you! Thank you!” She squealed and hugged Phil, then me.
“You got money for a movie ticket?” I asked.
“Yes!”
“Got your oyster card?” Phil confirmed.
“Yes! Yes! I got everything I need!” She ran up to her room before coming back down with everything she needed and her shoes on.
“Good.” I smiled. “Okay, you text me when you get to the cinema. Got it?”
“Got it.” Payton smiled.
I kissed her cheek and passed her onto Phil who kissed her other cheek before sending her out the front door. “Oh lord.” I immediately pulled out my phone and turned on life 360.
“Dan, she’s going to be okay. We have to trust her.” Phil smiled and sat down with me.
Payton’s POV:
I walked for a while before reaching the tube. I listened to my music through my hearing aids, which blocked out the rest of the world when my music was on. On the train, I sat in the back of the cart and watched the people around me. Soon I noticed a man walk up to me, he pointed at the seat next to me. I paused my music, letting the world flood back into my head. “Huh?” I asked.
“May I sit here?” He asked.
“You may.” I nodded.
He took a seat. “Where are you headed?” I tried to ignore him, I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, I just wanted to be in my own world. “Hello?” He asked. Again I didn’t answer, hoping he would eventually leave me alone. He didn’t, he tapped me on the shoulder and I gave in. “Your parents teach you not to ignore someone who’s talking to you?”
“Oh…uh…” I quickly signed with my index and middle finger to my ear. “I’m deaf. I can’t hear very well.” Dad had taught me to sign deaf to people who question why I may not hear them.
“Hmm. You don’t look deaf.” He sighed. “I asked where you are headed to.”
“Oh! I am going to…” I heard Dad’s voice in my head. Don’t tell this man where I’m going. I don’t know him. “Going to the mall to meet some friends.” I smiled.
“That’s fun. I miss hanging out with my friends. When you get older like me, you don’t have much time for them. I’m Adam. You?”
“Vicky.” I lied. Vicky was the name of a girl in one of my stories I wrote. I used her name when I didn’t want someone to know my real name. Almost like an alternate ego. She harbored every trait of me and went on crazy adventures.
“That’s a pretty name. So your parents just let you go out alone like this? They must think you’re really responsible.”
“They track my phone. And I text them every ten minutes.” I said. The train stopped. “This is my stop.”
“This isn’t the way to the mall.”
“I’m picking up my friend first!” I laughed. “Bye bye!” I got off the train and walked up the stairs as I watched the train leave. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and quickly called Dad.
“Hello?”
“I got off the train.” I said.
“Are you at the cinema?”
“No. I’m about 3 stops away. But there was this creepy guy who started talking to me and asking what I was doing and where I was going and what my name is. So I told him my name was Vicky and I was going to the mall and got off. He’s still on the train. So I figured I’ll get on the next train and I’ll be okay.” Dad sat in silence for a bit. “Hello?”
“Payton, I am so proud of you right now. And thank you for calling me right away.”
“I didn’t want to because I thought you would tell me to come home or not let me go out again.”
“No. You’re proving you are ready for the world. That’s something you’re going to have to deal with a lot. And you did it perfectly. Go ahead and catch the next train. Text me when you get to the cinema.”
“Okay. I love you.” I smiled.
“I love you too, Payton.”
I finally reached the cinema in peace. I texted Dad I had arrived before I bought my ticket, popcorn, and soda then went to the theatre. I had been to the movies a handful of times. My family before Jenny went for any new movie that seemed worth it. Jenny took us for Kailey’s 11th birthday and for a day of summer holiday. Once the movie started, I reclined and indulged.
After the movie, I threw my popcorn and soda away, then checked my phone. I saw a text from Dan. ‘Text me when you’re leaving the cinema. Call Papa when the movie is done <3’
I chuckled and texted Dad as I walked outside then dialed Papa’s number. It rang and rang, then went to voicemail. But he called back immediately. “Hi. Dad said to call you.”
“Yeah, he told me about the guy on the train. I don't want you taking that route back. He might be lurking. Come head over to the studio. You know where it is right?”
“Uh…no.” I began looking around. “Can I go get a coffee?” I spotted a Starbucks down a few blocks.
Phil’s POV:
“Do you really need a coffee?” I laughed as I was cleaning up the studio, the phasement. I was setting up for our next video.
“Yes. I’ll get decaf!”
“I guess that’s fine. But the studio is only a few blocks from the cinema you’re at. You don’t need to get back on the train.”
“Okay. How are we getting home?”
“Dan will either come pick us up or we’ll take the train together. How was the movie? What was it about?” I asked.
“It was so good! Oh my god! So this girl wakes up in some sort of land that she somewhat recognizes but it’s not home and she has to find her way out. Then she meets this boy—“ Quickly, she was cut off. All I heard was tires squealing and a loud clash.
“Payton?” I asked. “Payton? Payton baby are you there?” I asked louder. “Payton!” I sat frozen where I was. “Payton!!” I screamed into the phone over and over again, hoping her voice would come over the speaker. But it never did. My stomach dropped when I heard sirens pass by the studio window and slowly come through the receiver of my phone.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
TW: Doctors and needles.
Payton’s POV:
I was eating a bowl of cereal when Dad came into the kitchen. He turned the light on and off the light to grab my attention. “Ready?” He asked.
I nodded as I slurped my milk and put the bowl in the sink. “Do I really have to get my ears checked?” I whined.
“Yes. Yes, you do. It’ll help you.” Dad grabbed his keys. “Phil! Let’s go!” He called.
“Already? I thought we had a few hours left.” Papa appeared, chuckling and followed us to the car.
At the doctors office, Papa checked me in as I looked around the office. I clung onto Dad’s sleeve. He took me to look at the posters and charts they had on the wall. They explained the working parts of the ear, the brain, hearing aids, and cochlear implants. Finally, the doctor called us back and began to have a conversation with Dad and Papa.
“We mainly noticed that she doesn’t hear us very well.” Papa began to explain to the doctor. “She’s always listening to her music really loudly and when we tell her to turn it down, she complains she won’t be able to hear it. She always needs captions on, always asking us to repeat ourselves.”
“Has she ever had a hearing test before?” The doctor asked.
Papa looked over at me. “Have you?” I shook my head.
“Any family history of hearing loss?”
“We don’t know. Her family medical history is lost.” Papa sighed.
“Okay.” The doctor nodded. “We will go ahead and do a hearing test. Evaluate how much she can hear and what frequencies and go from there.”
I was led to a grey looking box contraption that when you stepped inside and closed the door it was completely silent and blocked out all sound. The doctor gave me headphones and a button. “First test, push the button when you hear the beep.” I nodded and waited for the doctor to step out of the box contraption. She closed the door leaving me to be the only one left in the contraption. I stood there, waiting for any beeping. I felt like I was waiting forever when I heard the first one. Then another eternity for another. I swear I only heard four or five in total.
The doctor came over a speaker. “Payton? Can you hear me?”
“Yup.” I smiled a bit.
“Okay, the machine is going to say some words, I want you to try your best to repeat the word. Even if you think it’s wrong, just give it your best shot. Got it?”
“Got it.” I nodded and put the button down.
A voice came over the headphones, saying obscure words, going quieter and louder, between higher and deeper in pitch. I tried my best, saying what I thought was being said. Some I knew were perfect, but since there was no face to put with the voice, I couldn’t quite make out what was being said. Really it sounded like someone’s hand was over their mouth the whole time.
“Okay Payton.” The doctor came over the mic again. “I’m just going to test the pressure in your ears with some air and we’ll be all done.” I nodded a bit and stayed still. I felt barely any air before the test ended and the doctor came in. “Okay, that’s it. Let’s go talk to your parents.” She brought me back to Dad and Papa and sat down at her desk. She looked over her paper before starting to speak. “So, it does look like Payton has moderate to severe hearing loss. Kind of in the middle. Because this is her first hearing test, we don’t know if this has been declining since childhood or if she was born with this level of hearing.”
“What are our options?” Dad asked while leaning forward in his seat.
“Hearing aids are going to be the best option for everyday life. They’ll amplify sound, make conversations clearer. She’ll be more aware of her surroundings.”
Dad nodded. “Okay. I think we’ll go that path then.”
I got sized for hearing aids despite my protest. “I don’t need hearing aids. I hear the same as every other person.” I groaned.
“Payton Tucker.” Dad warned with a stern tone. “We will discuss this in the car.”
I sighed and let the doctor take the measurements. We had to take molds of my ears and I got to pick the colors for my hearing aids. I chose pink.
We finished up and got back in the car. “That doctor is crazy! I don’t need hearing aids!” I protested.
“She went to school for this stuff, Payton.” Dad sighed.
“And I know my hearing! I always hear this way.”
“Maybe you think that’s normal because that’s all you’ve ever heard.” Dad suggested.
“I don’t want to wear hearing aids! People will make fun of me!” I crossed my arms and huffed.
“I don’t think they’re going to make fun of you, honey.” Dad tried to reassure me.
“Whatever. This is stupid.” I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. I quickly got an idea. “Can I get my ears pierced now? Then it’ll look cute with my earrings?”
“Mm. I don’t know…Phil do you think she’s responsible enough yet?” Dad asked.
“Hmm.” Papa thought for a moment. “Perhaps we can make a deal. If you’re responsible enough to wear your hearing aids…you’re ready for earrings.”
“I can get into that deal.” Dad smiled and looked back in the rear view mirror. “How about you, Payton? We get your ears pierced and in exchange you wear your hearing aids?”
“Deal! A thousand times a deal! Can we go now? Please! Please!!” I begged.
Papa chuckled. “Yes yes, sit down and put your seatbelt on.”
I smiled and sat back in my seat. Dad took us to a piercing shop and brought us in. I picked out which studs I wanted while Dad signed all the paperwork. The piercer brought us back and began to set everything up. She went ahead and wiped my ears with an alcohol pad before marking them. She looked to make sure they were even before stepping back. “Dads?” She turned to Dad and Papa. “Do we like the height on that?”
Dad looked over at the markings and nodded. “Yup. That’s fine by me.” He smiled.
I kicked my feet a bit as the piercer got the piercing needle ready. I took Dad’s hand and closed my eyes. I was told to take a deep breath and when I was ready, exhale. It was quickly done, and soon, so was the second ear.
Dad paid for the piercing and the aftercare products. We all went to the car and went home.
We all stayed up later than usual since we decided to watch some movies. Papa ordered dinner halfway through the first one. And I had managed to actually stay awake through the second movie.
Before bed, I was in the bathroom attempting to clean my piercings. I soaked the cotton pad in the aftercare solution and cleaned around each stud, carefully and gently. Once I was done, I caught a glimpse of the toothbrush and toothpaste Dad had set up for me awhile ago. He had been encouraging me to brush my teeth at least once a day. Every morning we would brush our teeth together, starting with mouth wash then brushing. Often I would panic and leave the bathroom before we could get to the scrubbing part.
Something compelled me to try it. I grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste, carefully getting a small amount and began to brush, just like Dad showed me the first night I arrived here. It honestly wasn’t so bad, I don’t know what I had been afraid of. I’m not sure why no one ever taught me this either.
Dad came down the hall, he passed the doorway before stopping in his tracks and coming back. “You’re brushing your teeth.” He smiled. “Oh my god, you’re brushing your teeth by yourself!” I giggled a bit and nodded. I quickly finished and rinsed before giving him a big hug. “Oh! I’m so proud of you!” He kissed me on the top of my head over and over again, lifting me up off my feet and carrying me like a princess. “My baby girl brushed her teeth all by herself!” I laughed and held onto him tightly as he carried me to my room. “How does it feel?”
“Super clean!” I giggled as he gently dropped me on my bed and tucked me in. “I bet!” He laughed. He reached over and turned on the sound machine and nightlight. He kissed my head one last time. “I’m so proud of you. Good night, baby.” He smiled and left the room, blowing kisses as he left.
I cuddled my blanket and smiled. He’s proud of me. Someone is proud of me.
That sounds so mean. But I myself have very complex medical issues and am always in and out hospitals and doctors offices. I’ve had three open heart surgeries and have had like twenty other types of operations. I almost got a heart transplant last year. So I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone and even my favorite creators go through the same thing (I wish they didn’t of course). I, like Phil, get chronic migraines and like Dan, end up on floor randomly. I don’t pass out but I do have seizure like symptoms and have them every few days. I have friends who have the same thing but it’s not exactly the same when you see bug celebrities who seem just fine. So I do appreciate Dan and Phil being open about their medical care and what they go through.
The Phamily - Saved From The Dark // An Adopted By Phan FanFiction // The Hard Launch Era
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Phil’s POV:
“Please!” Payton begged as she followed me around the house. “Papa! Please!”
“I already said no. And so did Dad.” I went into the kitchen where Dan was setting the dining table. He insisted on cooking dinner tonight.
“What is she begging for this time?” Dan chuckled.
“She wants to watch the finale of Stranger Things.” I took a seat at the table.
“You can’t just show me 4 and a half seasons of a series just to not let me finish it!” Payton groaned as she also took a seat. “It’s not fair!”
Dan sighed a bit. “I’m sorry but we just don’t want you to have more nightmares, honey.” Dan served dinner and took a seat himself. “You don’t get good sleep when you have your nightmares. Our decision is final.”
Payton sighed and took a scoop of spaghetti. “Payton.” I spoke softly. “Another scoop please.” Dan and I started to notice that Payton wasn’t eating much. We were going to bring it up to her therapist next week.
“I’m not hungry though.” Payton groaned.
I sighed and got her half a scoop of spaghetti, then put it on her plate. “There, a compromise.” He smiled.
Payton sighed and started to eat. “I just think…I should be able to finish stranger things with you guys.”
“Nope.” Dan shook his head again. “Maybe when you’re older.”
“But I watch horror movies! I think a few episodes of Stranger Things will be fine!” She threw herself back in her chair and groaned.
“I’m sorry, but we already said no. Now eat your dinner.” Dan sighed and began to eat. I chuckled a bit and started to eat as well. Dan and I talked about upcoming videos, Patreon merch, and podcast episodes for the new year. Payton sat in silence, eating her food until she pushed her plate away.
“I’m done.” She announced.
“Okay.” I nodded. “Is it your night for dishes?”
“Nope, it's dads.” She got up and pushed in her chair. She smiled a bit before leaving the kitchen.
“Are we being too harsh on her?” Dan asked.
“I don’t think so.” I got up and grabbed a bottle of wine. “Her therapist said to eliminate triggers for her night terrors, that’s what we’re doing. She needs good sleep. Especially if she’s going to start going to public school.” I sighed.
“Yeah but it is kinda messed up to let her watch the entire series and not let her finish it. It’s such a cult following too. It would help her fit in at school.”
“Maybe we can let her watch one episode a week.” I suggested. “That way it’s not all that much?”
Dan nodded as I poured him some wine. “That could work. But let’s watch the episodes ourselves first. Just to make sure it’s not too…rough.”
I took a seat across from him and smiled. “Alright, that sounds like a plan.”
Payton’s POV:
I ran into the kitchen, sliding on my socks and grabbing a hold of the door frame to steady myself. “Dad, papa.” They both looked at me as they sipped at some wine they had. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Dad nodded. “Okay. Don’t get water all over the floor this time, please.”
“It was one time!” I groaned and ran upstairs. I grabbed a change of soft pajamas, socks, headphones, and a towel before I headed into the shower. I didn’t actually want to take a shower. I had my own plan to watch Stranger Things. I locked the door and turned the shower to cold so it wouldn’t steam up my phone. I laid down on the floor, using the towel as a pillow and pulled up Netflix. I had just ended the fifth episode when Dad knocked on the door.
“Payton?” He called. “Payton you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay!” I called back.
“You’ve been in there for a really long time. Let’s finish up, that’s a lot of water you’re using.”
“Okay!” I called and turned off my phone. I quickly got in the shower and tried to be as fast as I could. Of course, Dad came by again.
“Payton!” He knocked. “Come on! This is too long of a shower!”
“I’m almost done!” I quickly turned off the water and dried off. I got changed and tried to dart to the room where my things were, but Dad cut me off in the hallway.
“An hour and a half? What are you doing in the shower for an hour and a half? Do you know how much water that is?”
“I was doing an everything shower!” I rolled my eyes.
“What is an everything shower?”
“You know! Like, you do everything! You wash your hair, exfoliate, shave, face mask, hair mask, brush your teeth!”
“You don’t know how to brush your teeth.” Dad crossed his arms.
Shit.
“I’m just giving examples!” I groaned and pushed past him to go to my room. I throw my clothes in my laundry bin. “I’m going to go to bed.” I climbed into bed as Dad hit the night light and sound machine. He tucked me in and kissed me on the head.
“Payton.” He looked at me. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I studied him for a bit. Does he know? Or what did he know? About me sneaking out in Manchester? Or me watching Stranger Things? Maybe he knows I didn’t fold my laundry yet. “No.”
“Are you absolutely sure? Because you know how I feel about lying.” He warned.
I needed to be on his good side, for Ethan and Kailey’s sake. “I’m sure.”
He stared at me for a bit. “Hmm. Okay…” He kissed my head again before leaving the room. I pulled out my phone and began to watch the next episode. After a while I heard mumbling in the hallway. I quickly locked my phone and shoved it under my pillow, then pretended to be asleep. I heard my door creak open.
“See Dan?” I heard Papa. “She’s asleep.” Papa walked in and gently kissed my cheek before leaving the room quietly. I pulled out my phone again and finished the rest of the season.
Dan’s POV:
“Have you ever heard of an everything shower?” I asked Phil as I came into the lounge.
“Yup. Beauty gurus on tiktok do them all the time. You wash your hair, exfoliate, wash your face, all the fancy stuff! Why?”
“Payton said that’s why she took a really long shower.”
“Could be. That stuff takes awhile.”
I sat down next to him. “Yeah but then she mentioned brushing her teeth. She doesn’t know how to brush her teeth…”
“Maybe she looked it up on YouTube? It’s not exactly a hard concept.” Phil chuckled as he grabbed the tv remote and turned on Netflix. He turned on Stranger Things as I turned out the lights. He leaned his against me. Halfway through the finale, I turned to Phil. “Phil?” I asked.
“Hmm?”
“I have a feeling Payton isn’t asleep.”
“Why?” Phil paused the tv.
“Just…she seemed so off…and the whole brushing her teeth thing—“
“Dan.” Phil sighed.
“I’m telling you, she’s probably not asleep.”
“Let’s go check.” Phil got up and dragged me to her room. He quietly opened the door, seeing Payton sleeping peacefully. “See Dan? She’s asleep.” He went in and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek before coming back and closing the door quietly.
“I’m sorry–”
“It’s alright, Dan. Let’s go enjoy the show please.” Phil smiled and took my hand. I sighed and followed him back to the lounge. Phil cuddled into my chest as we snuggled up to our blanket. Phil had to fight to stay awake during the show. After we finished the series finale, I took Phil to our room. Guiding the sleepy head through the halls and gently laying him down. Went and I checked on Payton one final time then went back to our room. “You take your medicine?” Phil asked sleepily, not even opening his eyes.
“About to.” I went to my bedside table and took my pills for the day. I laid down with Phil and quickly fell asleep.
Payton’s POV:
I bolted up from my bed with a gasp for air. I looked around, settling into the silence as the sound of my noise machine faded into existence. I looked around the room, seeing everything that was in place. I tried to lay back down but everytime I closed my eyes, my nightmares started again. I couldn’t sleep like this. I got up and went to Dad and Papa’s room. The hallway was pitch black and the air in house was still and silent. “Dad?” I whispered. “Papa?” I looked around. I slowly went to their room and opened the door. They were sleeping. “Dad. Papa.” I whispered a bit louder. Only dad responded by shuffling a bit to the sound of my voice. I carefully went to the foot of the bed and lifted the blanket. I climbed to the pillow in between the two, nuzzled up in the middle, curled up with my eyes closed to fall asleep, that’s when dad spoke up.
“Payton? Honey, what are you doing in here?”
“I just…couldn’t sleep.” I whispered, trying not to wake up Papa.
“Payton.” Dad sat up and turned on his lamp. “Did you watch Stranger Things when we told you not to?”
I stared at him, contemplating my answer. “No.”
“Payton.” He sighed. “What did I say about lying?”
“I’m not lying. I just couldn’t sleep.” I turned away from Dad and tried to sleep. I heard him sigh and turn off his lamp. He stayed sitting up and gently ran his hand up and down my arm until I fell asleep.
In the morning, I woke up to Papa sitting in bed next to me, scrolling through his phone as he sipped at his coffee. I fluttered my eyes open as he glanced over. “Goodmorning, kiddo.” He smiled a bit.
“Hi…” I mumbled and looked over to dad’s side which was empty. “Where’s dad?”
“Cooking breakfast. I’m just waiting for you to be awake.” I cuddled up to the blanket and nodded. Papa got up and set his coffee down. Once breakfast was ready, we both headed down, racing each other to the kitchen, which I won.
Dad smiled at the view of us. “Goodmorning my sleepy heads.” He chuckled.
“Hi!” I bounced and took a seat at the table. Dad came over and set some eggs on my plate along with a slice of toast.
Papa went ahead and got some for himself and sat down, along with dad.
“So, an everything shower.” Dad smiled. “Sounds nice. Relaxing.”
I nodded. “It is.”
“Strange you went to bed so early last night.”
I shrugged. “I was tired. So what?”
“Just thought it was interesting, you didn’t seem tired. It also seems like you got over Stranger Things quickly.”
“Kailey texted me, she said the ending wasn’t worth it.”
“Thought Kailey never watched it?” He asked. I looked up from my plate, studying Papa and Dad. “Payton, the more you lie, the more you’re going to be in trouble.”
“I told you, Kailey texted me saying the ending wasn’t worth it! She and Ethan watched it last week and then watched the finale a few days ago.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hm. Okay.” Dad nodded and continued to eat. Finally, some peace. I might have actually gotten away with it.
“So,” Papa broke the silence. “I was scrolling through my phone this morning. I got bored waiting for breakfast and waiting for Payton to wake up. And I decided to look at Netflix. Took a little peek at Payton’s profile. And it seems…” Papa pulled out his phone to my Netflix profile. “Stranger things is in your recently watched.”
I stared at him. “Okay…must be a glitch.” I shrugged.
“Payton.” Dad warned.
I looked over. “Fine. I watched it.”
“After we told you no?”
“God forbid I want to be normal!” I slammed my hand down on the table.
“We told you no and you disobeyed us then you lied!” Dad started to raise his voice.
“Okay, everyone take a deep breath.” Papa gently said.
Dan’s POV:
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I don’t appreciate lying, I really don’t. I needed to calm down before I spoke again. “Payton, I know you want to be normal. But there’s a few things here.” I kept my voice smooth. “One, you get night terrors. And so do I. I don’t get them as often as you but I know how much they suck. And we just want you to get the best sleep you can be getting.”
Phil nodded in agreement.
“Two, we gave you many chances to tell us the truth. This whole thing we’ve got going? Us three? It’s only going to work if we’re honest with each other. Not keeping secrets and walking on eggshells. We don’t keep things from you, so you can’t be keeping things from us.”
Payton looked away. “I just…I wanted to experience something everybody else got to for once.”
I nodded. “I know but you are going to get so many chances to do that. At the end of the day, it’s a tv show. There’s going to be so many cooler opportunities out there to experience. A lot that you’re going to need our permission for, but we can’t give it to you unless we can trust you. But we have to build that trust. Right?”
She sat there silently for a while, then looked at me. “Right. I just…I’m scared I’m going to do something wrong and then you’re not going to foster Ethan and Kailey.”
“What?” I asked. “Honey, that wouldn’t happen. It’s not your responsibility to make sure we foster them.” I smiled. “We still have every intention of fostering them. And we definitely expect to have this conversation with those two at some point as well.” I chuckled. “We’re fostering them because we want to give them a good life. And that’s not your burden to worry about.”
“Okay.” She nodded. I continued to eat, then she blurted out. “We snuck out of Jenny’s house and walked around Manchester on new years in the middle of the night.”
“What?!” I dropped my fork and Phil nearly spit out his water. “Payton! That…why would you do that?!”
“I didn’t like being in that house at night, so Kailey took us to the park.” She shrugged.
“Do you know how dangerous that was?!” Phil began to lecture.
“We know that neighborhood inside and out.”
“I don’t care! Does Jenny know?”
“Yeah. She caught us when we came back.” Payton shrugged.
“And she didn’t tell us?!” I let my head fall into my hands.
“No…” I shook my head. “Anyways, that’s all my secrets.”
“Alright,” I nodded. “No more secrets. From here on out.”
Payton nodded. “Am I grounded?”
I looked at Phil then back at Payton. “We’ll let you off this time but you need to start understanding why we say no to things and why we don’t lie.”
Payton smiled. “Okay. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I nodded and got up from the table, came over to kiss her head.
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