please note: everything I write will be with a plus sized!fem!reader in mind and will contain themes pertaining to both these variations. I will try to keep them as neutral and accessible as possible, but it is not completely guaranteed. If either of these are a turn-off or potential trigger for you based on the content of my works, please do not read. I will post all warnings at the beginning of chapters as well as in the summary of all my WIPs. thank you, and have a nice day!
second notice: if there is an asterisk after any body of work, this indicates that the body of work contains smut and other such adult topics. For more specific parts of the story, please click the links below and you should be able to navigate by chapter, however this will only be available to view once the chapter is published. 18+ only please, and remember, you are in charge of your own reading experience and the media you wish to consume.
currently only writing for:
Bucky Barnes
guilty as sin?* (complete!)
i can see you* (work in progress)
the great war (work in progress) coming soon...
his sokovia girl* (one shot) (work in progress) coming soon...
summary: Six months ago, you were appointed to be Head Nurse to the Avengers by Tony Stark. Every day, you count your lucky stars, knowing the horrible past you quickly ditched back in England. It holds you back, restrains you, from getting close to anyone when on your new job.
That's until you met and fell in love with Bucky Barnes. The supposed assassin with a heart of gold, who seems to be eager to get to know you. To peel back your layers piece by piece, but could you trust him once you're laid before him raw and vulnerable?
masterlist
warnings: language, self deprecation, mentions of school bullying(?)
word count: 1.6k
A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! I used to write fan fiction a few years back as a weird, lonely teenager, and this is me making a comeback! I have a few original works I like to write, but that's about it. I know a lot of you guys have been waiting for a while, but I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please feel free to comment any plot theories or thoughts! :)
Pathetic fallacy is a fucking bitch. Steveâs been away for a day or two, off to Wakanda, and everyoneâs here, faces sour over grey clouds and heavy downpour, busy making preparations for the big day. He says that his best friend is coming home, finally, where he belongs.
Everyoneâs heard of this best friend in question â James Buchanan Barnes. Your friends are a bit skeptical, afraid heâll come with his eyes painted as dark as the night sky and his hair long in some lab ratâs defiance. You canât help but fear the same.
When you were hired to work as a nurse in the Towerâs infirmary, youâd kept to yourself. Itâs a wonder anyoneâs wanting to give you a job after the way you were fired from your last one, let alone Tony fucking Stark, taking pity and picking you off the streets of a foreign country. Youâre currently perched on a wobbly stepladder, trying your best to not fall headfirst as you stand vulnerable, trying to push the damn pin into the sign that reads Welcome Home, Bucky! In sloppy, maroon handwriting made entirely by you, ever since you heard it was his favourite colour.
You wonder if it couldâve been a poor choice considering the striking resemblance to blood â the same colour as your shirt, white coat long forgotten over the back of the couch in the main communal living area.Â
âHere, let me help you with that,â comes a gruff voice from beside you.Â
âOh no, Iâm fine, honestly. Can you go check to see if the quinjetâs landed?â You glance down, and directly into deep blue, entranced by the hypnotic hue. No dark paint, hair cropped messy over the crown of his head. Dressed in a sweater the same colour as yours, and you couldâve sworn itâs like fate.Â
âBucky,â you breathed. Bucky? What is he already doing here? Heâs not supposed to be for another hour or two? These are just some of your racing thoughts as you examine his face, looking as bright as fucking sunshine. And then you stumble, the ladder giving out from under you and you yelp, expecting to come plummeting to the cold, hard ground. And instead, warm arms envelop you instead, holding you firm to his chest as you struggle to find the words.
âSorry! Sorry, I donât usually fall like this I promise.â He looks directly at you, and you register he hasnât set you down yet, still holding on tightly. He laughs, the vibrations igniting something inside your chest, the flame spreading itself all over your cheeks.
âDonât worry about it. Whatâs your name, beautiful?â He gently helps you place your feet on the floor, and you find yourself desperate to cling to his warmth once again but letting him go, blushing at his compliment. As if it couldnât get any worse, heâs probably a smooth charmer, fuck. You stumble a little bit over your words as you give him your name and he runs it over his tongue.
Has your name always sounded this pretty? Especially spoken in that gruff, heavenly voice of his?
âI, I thought you werenât supposed to be here for another hour, weâre still settingâ.â You look around, only to find the room completely empty and every decoration in its perfect place, save the ladder now laying on its side in one corner. When had everyone finished, and why have they all just left?
âTheyâre all talking to Steve.â He attaches your name at the end of it like a newly discovered drug heâs desperate for another hit of. You tilt your head, a million questions on the tip of your tongue.
âIt was really loud in there. Steve takes all the attention anyway, so I used that moment to sneak out.â Your heart breaks for him. This was supposed to be his party, but you offer him some reassurance instead.
âWell, I know we just met but when they all come piling in here to give you a big hug and bring all the noise with them, you can come to me. I know what itâs like, but for nowâŠwelcome home!â You awkwardly gesture to the sign behind you, giving him jazz hands. He chuckles and nods his head in thanks, making you smile.Â
âNow whatâs your favourite baked treat? I heard you like just basic brownies?â His grin only widens. âYeah, I do love basic brownies.â You gasp in joy, glad to get it right, practically skipping to wrap one and hand it to him.Â
He tentatively takes it from your hands, ensuring they brush and one more spark flies into the raw distance between you and him, and you donât miss the way his beautiful ocean eyes flutter at the contact. You clasp your suddenly sweaty palms around each other, patiently waiting for him to take a bite, and the second his pearly teeth dig into the sweet treat in a way that makes your heart run hot, the noise arrives.Â
A cacophony of shouts and cheers make the both of you flinch as Steve walks up to his best friend, attacking him in a hug. âSo happy youâre back Bucky!â And takes a bite out of the brownie in his hand as he turns to me, moaning.
âDid you make this? It tastes amazing, dear.â You beam at his praise, nodding along when your eyes fall back on the ladder, long forgotten in the now crowded room. You wouldnât say youâre lonely, after all, Natasha and Wanda are some of your best friends in your current situation, but theyâre almost always off on missions and all the nurses love to talk about is the Star Spangled Man theyâd just die to get in their beds. When you first arrived, you were almost always found silently chuckling in the corner, always wanting what you canât have. Now, your days are always busy, being jetted off on missions once Tony finished the extensive background check on you and letting you figure out who you work the best with. But still, all the days staying silent and to yourself have left you quiteâŠleft out. Even as the masses party around you, you feel oddly still. Stagnant, almost.
âSorry guys, Iâll be right back, I need to go put the ladder away.â You point, and both super soldiers follow your finger, when Bucky interrupts.
âIt looks really heavy, let me carry it for you,â he all but begs, a pleading look in his eyes to be taken away from all this din. You glance at Steve who doesnât argue, letting his gorgeous friend do whatever the fuck he wants. The look on his face is smug and omniscient, as if privy to a secret youâre on the outside of when he glances between you and Bucky.Â
You decide to take mercy on his poor soul. âThat would be lovely thank you.â You smile politely, moving off in the direction of the bright yellow ladder, trying your best to not stare at Buckyâs bulging muscles rippling beneath his sweater with your mouth so wide open. And to ignore the heat in the pit of your belly at the ease with which he does so, as if the hunk of metal you struggled with for an hour is only a feather to him.Â
You lead him to the storage room in silence, thinking it best to not overwhelm him with questions in a saccharine tone. âThank you, I know itâs really heavy.â You stand in the doorway as he walks up to meet you, and you push yourself as hard as you can against the doorframe so he can pass, but he hovers. Inches away from you. You stare up into his beautiful eyes, taking a quiet moment to admire his pulchritude. Full lips more pink than a spring flower, stubble just enough to catch on your hand if you were to touch him. Cheekbones carved by the careful hands of the Gods themselves, so well-versed in human attraction. How is anyone not to fall in love with him when he can haunt you so stunningly?Â
Youâre so lost in him you donât register the lean of his body closer to you, intent on studying your face right back, hellbent on memorising the constellations of your moles and spots. You swallow dryly, unsure of what to do. Is the tension so palpable that he feels it too? Surely not.
Being the way you are, youâre no stranger to rejection. Or to have nobody feel anything for you in the desolate wasteland of your youth, all the nights youâve screamed at the sky to feel just one genuine connection and all the days youâve tried to accept it and move on. Itâs not the people around you, they are the understanding ones, and apart from one man, someone is yet to treat you like you fear they would.
But someone is yet to truly love you. To truly want you.Â
And you highly doubt itâs going to be Bucky Barnes, man whose house can be found in the highest echelons of heaven. Stick to safer things, you try to remind yourself but when your eyes fall back into his, that flies straight out the window. You find yourself not caring, wanting to try anyway. Youâ
âYouâre really pretty, you know that?â The words fly past his lips before he can stop them, and your cheeks turn crimson. Maybe heâs the cruel sort â trying to hook you onto him just so he can laugh when you beg for a fix. At your desperation, at the naive hope youâd hold onto with your dear life that he could feel the same high as you on even the tiniest morsel.Â
The taunts of children on playgrounds still echo in your ears, all these eons later.Â
So you do the only thing that feels familiar and right.
You run away, and in your haste miss the longing, confused stare he gives the path you take.
My name is Abdelmajed. I never imagined Iâd be sharing my story like this, but life in Gaza has become unbearable. I am a survivor of the war here, and in the blink of an eye, everything I once knewâmy home, my safety, my communityâwas ripped away from me.
The war has transformed Gaza into a graveyard of broken dreams. The buildings that once stood as symbols of life and resilience are now piles of rubble. Every corner is filled with the echoes of explosions. Every moment is shrouded in uncertainty. There is no security. There is no stability. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Basic needs have become luxuries. Food is scarce. Clean water is even scarcer. Hospitals are overwhelmed and under-resourced, and there is almost no medical care to be found. Every night, families go to bed hungry, praying theyâll wake up to see another day. The cost of basic necessities has skyrocketed, and itâs become a daily battle just to survive.
Iâve seen things I never thought possibleâstanding in long lines for a piece of bread, rationing every drop of water, and watching my people suffer in silence. I have lost everythingâmy home, my safety, my dignity.
Escape from Gaza is my only hope, but itâs almost impossible without financial help. The cost of evacuation is far beyond my means, and without support, Iâm trapped in a warzone with no way out.
Iâm reaching out to you now, in the hopes that someone, anyone, can help. I am not asking for luxury. I am asking for a chanceâjust a chanceâto live. A chance to escape this never-ending cycle of fear, destruction, and loss. A chance to rebuild my life somewhere safe, where I can begin again, where I can find hope once more.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Any amount you can give will help me get closer to safety. Even the smallest donation will make a differenceâit could be the lifeline I need to survive. If you are unable to donate, please share my story. The more people who hear it, the better the chance that I can find the support I desperately need.
Your kindness and support mean the world to me. Youâre not just helping me escape a war; youâre giving me a chance to live, to rebuild, to breathe again.
âšA Voice From Gaza Needs Your Attention âšđđ
â Vetted by @savefami -vetted link
â Vetted by @happaliff vetted link
Please help in vetting @90-ghost @gazavetters
We don't even know anymore. Khaled, my little one, has started pronouncing the word "bombing," and it terrifies me.
Iâm not here to beg or list every detailâbecause even an entire newspaper wouldnât be enough. The images on TV screens and the stories you see online already tell you so much about what we endure. But no matter how much you see, youâll never truly feel what we feel. And I wouldnât wish this life on anyone.
How You Can Helpđ„șđ
In this moment of despair, I reach out to youânot just as a stranger, but as a fellow human being. Our humanity connects us, and compassion knows no boundaries. Your kindness, no matter how small, can bring a glimmer of hope to our lives, shattered by war.
Hereâs what weâre trying to rebuild:
đ $5,000 for the father.
đ $5,000 for the mother.
đ $2,500 for Khaled.
đ $2,500 for Intesar.
The rest will go toward essential living expensesâbecause thereâs no safety net here, no hospitals, no medicine, no healthy food.
Our baby has been sick countless times, and every evacuation has only made things worse. We need help to survive, to heal, and to dream of a better tomorrow.
Even a Little Means Everything
We appreciate your help, even if itâs just a small donation or simply sharing our story. Every bit of support matters. Together, we can rebuild whatâs been taken from us and find hope amidst the rubble.
My Donation link heređđ
Hello all, my name is Jess Rapoza from the USA. I am raising money on behalf ⊠Jess Rapoza needs your support for Please Save Khaled and Nan
We need an urgent surgery for my little kid đšđ„șđâ€ïž
Vetted by @90-ghost -vetted link
â ïžVetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #515 )â ïž
My baby ,Adam, suffers from club foot and will need an urgent surgery. It costs at least $3000 and he will need special boots fitted. This surgery is not possible in Gaza even without the war.
Please help us with any amount of money đđđ„ș
I don't have many because I am a new nurse graduate and need to find a job and to live as anyone. I have a lot of dreams to achieve. I don't want to die or to lose my son or my husband. Please give me your helping hands and don't give up on me and my family. Remember that I depend on you and I trust on you that you will save us.
Please donate with any amount of money and this will greatly and surely make difference
You can donate here
Hello supporter, my name is Jessica Rapoza from USA and Iâm raising fun⊠Jess Rapoza needs your support for Help Shada's Family to Rebuild T
didn't think I'd actually have to say this, but now I think I do. if you support Donald Trump, then unfollow and block me right now. don't interact with me if you support Donald Trump. get away from my blog if you support Donald Trump.
warnings: 18+ only. smut, fluff, a bit of angst. unprotected p in v. dirty talk. nipple play. if iâm missing something that needs to be tagged, pls lmk!
words: almost 7.7k
notes: happy halloween đ» so i had an idea for reclusive neighbor!bucky meeting reader when she stops by his house with a group of kids for trick or treating, and this is very much not that but i think it still works lol. also, i wrote this in a day? i donât think iâve ever written more than like 4k in a day before so, yay me!
i wanted to participate in @witchywithwhiskeyâs horror movie hoe-a-thon but i decided so last minute and then thought the deadline was the 31st, but i absolutely read the guidelines wrong bc it was actually yesterday and i missed it lol. iâm linking her event still though bc i did use a quote prompt! đ€
The loud shaking of the wobbly cart you grabbed in your hurry precedes you as you make your way through the ridiculously crowded grocery store. Normally you would have been mortified - probably would have left the cart and ventured off to grab what you needed sans basket - but you donât have the time to be concerned about the looks youâre getting as you walk fast down the aisles.Â
When your sister asked you for help organizing a family halloween party, you didnât realize she meant an actual little community family friendly party for the street she lived on.
You had gotten two frozen pizzas, a bag of candy, a case of soda, and some random bags of chips you were sure your nieces would love, just last night. That would have certainly been enough for you, your nieces, and both your sisters, but unfortunately, that wasnât where the guest list ended.Â
The look on her face when you showed up to her house with just those few things would have been funny if she wasnât already on the brink of a breakdown.
Her husband was out of town for work and she was doing all the halloween prep for Sid herself, thus why she enlisted your help with the party and your younger sisterâs help for the trick or treating plans.
Before she could snap and completely lose her cool on you, you were already rushing to the front door, keys still in hand, promising youâd be back within the hour and she had nothing to worry about.
Thatâs how you found yourself among the crowd of the woefully unprepared this afternoon.Â
You loaded the cart with six more frozen pizzas, three family servings of the deliâs hot and ready fried chicken, two packs of halloween cupcakes, two more cases of soda, an extra case of water, and three boxes of capri suns before you started filling the cart with the halloween party snacks you found in the holiday section.Â
You were getting a workout as you pushed the basket, less shaky now thanks to the added weight, heading to the candy section to grab a few bags of whatever they had left.
You were distracted by the end cap display as you turned down the aisle and didnât see the man standing right in front of you, accidentally running into him. Though, running into him sounds like an exaggeration. With how heavy your basket was, and how sturdy the man before you was, it was more like a bump - a love tap. He didnât even really react to it aside from looking over briefly to you and your basket.
Even still, you apologized profusely, rambling an apology about not looking where you were going before you finally got an actual look at your victim.Â
Your words stopped almost abruptly when your eyes met with crystal blues. His stare was icy, but not cold, moreso piercing.
He blinked and broke your trance, offering you a shy smile before he looked away.
âItâs okay, youâre fine,â he said, eyes fixed back on the shelves of candy.
He was dressed in dark denim jeans and a black crewneck sweatshirt, his hair was dark and down to just above his broad shoulders, and the stubble that lined his strong jaw suited him well. You didnât realize you were staring again until he looked back up at you.
You forced yourself to smile then, ignoring the heat you could feel creeping up your neck and rising to your cheeks.
âSorry,â you offered with a nervous laugh before you forced the cart behind where he stood to go onward.Â
You could have sworn you saw a blush rising to his cheeks as he smiled to himself, avoiding your gaze, but you werenât entirely sure.Â
And you definitely didnât have the time to ponder on it.
Instead, you began your own search of the shelves to find not only your niecesâ favorites, but your sistersâ, too.Â
They were both working hard to make their kidsâ halloween a good one, they deserved a little treat themselves when all the work was done. You, on the other hand, still single and child free, were planning on treating yourself all night. You were there to help, sure, but most of the work wouldnât be done by you. You were looking forward to seeing them off to trick or treat and plopping down on your sisterâs couch to watch movies for the rest of the night - handing out candy, of course, should any kids come by.
Once the party was set up and over, youâd be free for the night and you couldnât wait.
You were lucky to find most of what you were looking for, but couldnât seem to find the last kind of chocolates you wanted to get.Â
As your eyes scoured the shelves, you found yourself looking back over to where the handsome stranger still stood. His brows were furrowed as he held up two boxes of full size candy bars, seeming to be debating between the two.
The look of concentration on his face was endearing, you could almost chuckle at how serious in thought he seemed to be over candy.
You smiled to yourself, returning to your search. As your eyes left the man, traveling instead to the rows of candy in front of him, that was when you saw the bag you needed. In the section right where he was standing, because of course theyâd be there.Â
He huffed in exasperation before you watched him drop both boxes of candy into his cart. He turned to head down the aisle in your direction and his eyes widened slightly when he saw you still standing there.
âOh, sorry, Iâm in your way, arenât I.â
âNo, youâre fine!â You assured him as you left your basket, walking closer to him. âI just needed to grab this,â you said, looking up with the bag in hand. He hadnât moved from where he stood as you approached, so you were inadvertently in his personal space - but he didnât make any attempt to move from you. In fact, he looked almost frozen.Â
His bright eyes were on you, one hand on his cart, the other clenched by his side. He seemed to go a bit ridge at your proximity, like he didnât want to make any sudden movements, but he relaxed after a second after seeing your soft smile, blinking at you as his cheeks burned.Â
You quickly backed away, hoping to not make him more uncomfortable and to not embarrass yourself further.
You grabbed onto your cart and looked his way once more, meeting his eye again as his sights were already on you.Â
You smiled shyly, âSorry, again, for hitting you,â you offered, âhappy halloween.â
He didnât respond verbally, but he did give you a small nod of acknowledgement.
Your smile grew tighter before you turned and made for the check out, sighing as you rolled your eyes at yourself, mentally chastising yourself for being such an awkward inducing mess.Â
The lines were long and as you waited, you had to field a call from your sister, promising her you were checking out and would be back at her house soon.
You finally got through the line and were on your way out the sliding door when your cart almost crashed into another. You gasped as you pulled at your cart to stop, the heavy weight carrying it forward, its momentum causing it to almost ram right into the cart beside it.
The doors were only big enough for one cart to go through at a time, so you looked up to offer whoever it was you almost crashed into the lead.
It was your turn for your eyes to widen as you once again were met with those piercing blues.
âI am so sorry, Iâm not doing this on purpose, I swear,â you laughed nervously, backing up a bit so heâd have room to go through the doors. âGo for it,â you said.
He shook his head, âPlease,â he gestured for you to go in front, âladies first.â
Had you not been in a hurry, you wouldâve argued that he should go ahead, but seeing as your phone was lighting up with messages from your erratic sister, you smiled and pushed on forward. âThank you,â you breathed.
You were trying not to pay attention as he followed behind you, but when you got to your car, halting your basket at your trunk, you couldnât help but notice as he stopped next to you.
You looked over at him, and he looked over at you. He smiled this time, popping his trunk, âWhat are the odds?â
You tittered, not knowing how to respond. You couldnât help your smile though as you turned back to your trunk and started putting the bags in.
He himself didnât have much in the way of bags, and was finished putting his stuff away and taking his cart back by the time you were halfway done putting your stuff in your car.
You saw as he approached his door from your peripheral, and looked up and over in his direction as he abruptly stopped just before he was about to pull open his door.
For a second, he looked like he was about to turn around but then thought better of it, reaching for the door handle again before pulling away once more.Â
He squeezed his car keys in his hand before he turned back around, completely this time. You blinked at him, in a bit of a stupor as he came up to you. You waited for him to speak as he opened his mouth before quickly shutting it, taking a breath, then anxiously licking his lips.
âIâm Bucky,â he introduced himself a bit stiffly before his lip quirked up in a nervous half smile. Your brows raised of their own volition before you gave him your name in turn.
He seemed to be relieved by your reply, as if he was worried you would have ignored him, before he took another step closer to your car. âCan I give you a hand?â
âOh, uhm, sure. Thatâd be great, thanks.â
âBig plans for the night?â he asked as he slid the packs of soda and the water into the car.
âMy sister is hosting a little halloween party for the families on her street before they head out trick or treating tonight, Iâm helping her out with setup and food. But after that,â you sighed, putting a few more bags in, âIâm planning on just watching movies between trick or treaters. Nothing crazy. You?â you asked, looking over to him.
âIâm planning pretty much the same. I donât know how many trick or treaters to expect, Iâm new to the neighborhood and⊠maybe havenât been the friendliest neighbor,â he cringed to himself as he grabbed the boxes of juice. âBut I got the full size candy bars, soâŠâ
âSprung for the full size, huh? Iâm sure those kidsâll love it. Youâll be the talk of the block,â you joked.
His chuckle had you smiling so hard you had to bite your lip to keep from looking like an idiot.
Bucky took the last of the bags from you and set them carefully down before he closed the trunk for you. You were hanging onto the cart, waiting to say bye before you walked it to its home, as he turned, shoving his hands in his pockets before he spoke. He had that anxious look on his face again, his eyes down at the ground while he licked his lips mindlessly before he met your eye.
âI, uhm,â he seemed to register where his hands were then and took them out of his pockets, âI hope this isnât too presumptuous of me, but, did you maybe, want to exchange numbers?â he asked, bright blue eyes bearing into yours.
Your lips parted unbidden, eyebrows raising in surprise, or more like shock, as your eyes widened.
âYou- you want my number?â you asked stupidly. You didnât give him a chance to answer though before you continued, âUhm, yeah,â you nodded, âsure.â
The delicate smile on your lips grew as you reached for your phone.
You exchanged numbers and said your goodbyes before you were finally headed back to your sisterâs place.
You were smiling like a fool as you drove, a sense of giddy taking over you. This kind of stuff never happened to you. You were still in a bit of disbelief as you pulled into your sisterâs driveway, calling her to help you unload but deciding against telling her about your little grocery store meet cute. At least until the party was underway and her stress levels came down.
â
Grumpy.Â
Thatâs the word you would use to describe your current state.
This was not how tonight was supposed to go. You should be lounging on a couch watching scary movies with a bowl full of candy right now, not clopping down the street in your wedges - a last minute costume thrown together as your niece held your hand and pulled you along with her while your sisters and baby niece strolled behind.
Sidney had thrown a fit when she learned you wouldnât be coming along for trick or treating and only calmed down when you finally relented and agreed. But of course, you couldnât just go out in what you were already wearing, no, that would be too easy. You absolutely needed a costume.Â
At your sistersâ and nieceâs goading, you were forced to put something together.Â
You were already in all black, so you snagged the leftover cat ear headband your sister had and made your already done eye look a little more exaggerated. You all left soon after, your nieceâs jubilance as she skipped out of the house easing your annoyance at the change of plans. As you started down the driveway, you were cursing yourself for not having brought your sneakers, and your sisters for both having smaller feet than you.
You walked up to house after house with your niece, taking turns switching who was going up to the door every two or three houses. In between houses, you finally told your sisters about the guy you met at the store earlier, how attractive he was, how he helped you load your car, and how he asked for your number before you went your separate ways.
It was nice to be able to talk with them about it, it had been a long time since it had been just the three of you together - no obnoxious boyfriends or overly talkative husbands to interrupt your conversations. You had to say, you were starting to feel a bit more grateful for your nieceâs insistence on you joining them.
As you talked to your little sister while she held her daughter, you both watched as your niece tugged on her momâs hand, refusing to go up the pathway of the house you were now at. As you looked around, you realized everyone else seemed to be avoiding the house, too. You werenât sure why, though. The porch light was on and there was a cute, though solitary, ghost decoration that would greet you as you walked up the path to the house.Â
âWhat is up with that?â you asked aloud.
As your older sister walked back over, she answered your question. âShe doesnât wanna go, she says itâs haunted.â
You fixed your niece with a look, âWhat do you mean haunted? Who told you that?â
âEvan and Fifi. They said the metal man lives here and he kills anyone who tries to come in.â
âThe metal man, huh? Well,â you said, making a point of looking all around the front of the house, âit looks to me like whoever lives here is ready to pass out candy to anyone brave enough to knock. The lights are on, and did you see the ghost up front? Theyâre probably just as excited about Halloween as you are.â
âNo.â she responded flatly.
âNo?â you scoffed. âOhhh, okay,â you exaggerated, âI get it, youâre too scared to go. Thatâs all you had to say, Sid, no shame.â
âIâm not scared,â she argued, her face scrunched in annoyance at your insult.
âReally? If youâre not scared then why wonât you go knock on the door?â
She floundered for a second before she narrowed her gaze at you. You wanted to laugh at the low growl that radiated from her but held it together.Â
âWeâll all go,â she finally decided, looking all three of you in the eyes to make sure you were all ready to accompany her.
â
It had been two hours since the trick or treaters had started their nights.Â
Bucky could hear the laughter and screams of playful fright as family after family and group after group of friends passed by his house.Â
The bowl of king size candy bars sat on his coffee table untouched as It played on his screen.Â
Every now and again heâd get up and look out the kitchen window, hoping to see a dead street to make himself feel better about the lack of trick or treaters, but only found the streets full of people.
The more time that passed without a single knock or ringing of his bell, the worse he felt.Â
He could lie and say he didnât know why he was taking this so hard, he wasnât one to complain about his solitude, but truthfully, he knew why.
He had heard the neighbor kids talking about him the other week, telling tales of horror about the metal man who lived next door. If seeing his arm was all it took to spur their tales and ignite their fear of him, God, he didnât even want to know what would come if they found out even a little bit of his past.Â
And if it wasnât the kids starting their own urban legend at his expense, it was the adults who would gossip about him at their backyard barbecues. The mysterious man who lived alone and kept to himself was an easy target for lowly neighborhood gossip, and the few people who had pieced together who he was seemed to be tight lipped about it. Anytime they saw him in public, their eyes would bug and they would quickly avert their gaze, like they were scared what would happen if he knew they knew. Itâs not like his identity was a secret, but he wasnât planning on striking up a conversation with them to let them know that. Especially not when they looked at him like that. Like he was some kind of monster.
Even still, he didnât want to be the social pariah on the block. He hated to think that anyone was scared or weary of him, though he knew most of them were.
He sighed heavily as he checked the time once again.Â
So much for that ghost helping to dispel his bad reputation. Heâd be requesting the money he spent on it from Sam later, it was his idea for him to get halloween decorations in the first place. He should have known it wouldnât have helped.
As his phone unlocked with his FaceID, he was tempted to send a message to the woman heâd met earlier in the day. He wasnât sure what it was about her, but he hadnât felt so disarmed by someone in a very long time. And the fact that she was gorgeous, and didnât seem the least bit frightened by him, was a nice feeling, too.Â
But she was probably watching movies and relaxing by now, he didnât want to be a disturbance. Tomorrow, though. Heâd definitely be messaging her tomorrow.
Another sigh left him as he locked his phone again, tossing it on the coffee table before making his decision.
Bucky paused the movie before he stood, bowl in hand, prepared to take it to the kitchen and shut his porch light off on his way upstairs. It was only gonna get later and he had to accept that no one was going to trick or treat at his house this year.
But just as he was setting the bowl down on the table, he froze.
Was someone actually coming up the porch?
He swore he was just hearing thingsâŠbut then came a knock.
â
âYou canât just stand there, Sid, you have to knock or ring the bell, pick one.â
âNo.â
âUgh,â you exaggerated with an eye roll, turning to look at your older sister, âyou live with this everyday?â
âEveryday,â she replied.
âSid, if you donât knock, you donât get candy,â you told her.
âIf I donât knock, I donât get murdered.â
âAlright, fine. Iâll do it myself,â you shrugged, adjusting the cat ears on your head.
You raised your arm to knock on the door, but Sid stopped you, pulling it back down.
âI donât want you to get murdered, either!â
âSidney,â you laughed, kneeling to get on her level, âI promise you, no one is going to get murdered. This house isnât haunted and a murderer doesnât live here.â
âYou donât know that for sure,â your little sister chimed in, earning a glare from you before you couldnât help your laugh, shaking your head before turning back to your niece.
âI just met Evan and Fifi at the party, and I know for a fact they were just trying to scare all of you guys. I doubt theyâve ever met whoever it is that lives here. Now, do you trust me?â
Her reluctant nod was your answer.
âOkay. Then Iâm gonna knock on the door, and weâre gonna get some candy. Cool?â
âCool.â
âCool,â you nodded with a smile before standing back up.
Sid inched back to stand in front of her mom, pulling her arm to hide herself behind as you once again went to knock on the door, this time following through.
You knocked and heard footsteps from within, smiling as you waited for the homeowner to open the door.
Once it opened, though, you found yourself completely taken aback.Â
Your breath caught in your throat as a newly familiar pair of brilliant blue eyes met yours.
Bucky stood at the open door, bowl of full size candy bars in hand. He looked just as surprised to see you there as you were him.Â
He tilted his head at you, a lopsided grin spreading on his face.
âTrick or treat!â Sidney yelled, seeing the big bars and coming to stand in front of you.
Bucky looked down, smiling as he showed her the bowl, âHappy Halloween,â he said, allowing her to pick which one she wanted.
âI know how this looks, but I swear Iâm not stalking you,â you promised.
âI donât know, it seems like a lotta coincidences for just one day,â he smirked, cooly leaning against his door frame. âNice costume,â he complimented.
âHa, thanks,â you smiled, touching the cat ears once again. âNice ghost,â you nodded toward the lonely decoration, âReally livens up the place,â you teased.Â
âThat was the intention,â he laughed, a little too glumly for your liking. âYou guys are actually the first trick or treaters Iâve had all night, so I guess it didnât really do its job.â
âSorry, you guys know each other?â your sister asked.
âYeah, uh,â you turned briefly, âthis is Bucky,â you said.
âBucky from the grocery store, Bucky?â your little sister asked.
You gave her a look you hoped Bucky didnât see before answering, âYes. That Bucky.â
Your sisters introduced themselves to him and as he switched the candy bowl from his right hand to his left, extending his palm to shake their hands, you noticed a glimmer coming from his left side.
You moved over a bit to allow them room to shake hands and as you looked closer, you realized that, peculiarly enough, his left hand wasnât made of flesh.Â
You scoffed a laugh to yourself at his âmetal manâ moniker. That made some sense now⊠In fact, a few things were clicking into place. Bucky, you thoughtâŠBucky Barnes? The Bucky Barnes. You wondered how you hadnât noticed earlier, not that it mattered, but you were staring, like kind of a lot, at him when you met at the store, and even when he was helping load your groceries. You really must have been distracted by just how gorgeous his face is.
Now that you were really looking at him again, you noticed just how built he was. Strong arms, solid chest, nearly six foot tall if you had to guess.Â
Your sisterâs laugh brought you back to reality as you followed her gaze to Sid who was now taking a bunch of bars from Buckyâs bowl as he held it out for her again.
âI doubt anyone is coming my way again, so please, take what you want,â he offered to all of you.
âThatâs really nice of you, thanks,â you smiled as your sisters each took a bar of their own. âWeâll uh, let you get back to your movie,â you said, remembering his plans for tonight.
âThe movie, yeah. I think I might have to start it over, actually. I went on my phone for a minute and looked up to see a blood covered bathroom but I have no idea how they got there,â he huffed a laugh at himself.
âOh, what are you watching?â your little sister asked.
âIt,â
âIt? No way, thatâs so funny. Thatâs the movie you were gonna watch before we left tonight, isnât it?â your older sister asked knowingly, a smirk no one but you and your younger sister would ever catch flashing for a microsecond on her lips as she looked at you pointedly.
âYeah,â you swallowed thickly, âit is,â you said, trying not to let the awkwardness that was eating at you consume you entirely.
âYou should stay and watch it,â your little sister suggested, to your complete and utter mortification. Your eyes shot over to her, and you swear, if looks could kill.Â
âIâm not just going to invite myself-â
âCome on, like he minds,â she turned to look at Bucky then, her hands still on her stroller holding her baby, âyou donât mind, do you?â
You peek over at Bucky, unsure of how you would even react if you were in his position. He met your eye and his lips quirked in a soft smile. âNot at all. If you wanted to, that is,â he added, offering you an out.
You looked at him a moment before looking over to your smugly smiling sisters and your niece as she tore into one of her candy bars, standing safely between the two of them. You inhaled sharply before looking back to a waiting Bucky.Â
You nodded.
âYeah,â you breathed. âSoundsâŠfun.â
âGreat, well we were heading back anyway. So, see you later?â you sister bid.Â
âOr not,â your little sister added teasingly before she shot her gaze over to Bucky once more. âBut we do have her location, just so you know,â she added seriously, a hint of a warning in her words.
âOoo-kay,â you said, breaking the forthcoming tension, âI will text you guys when Iâm on my way back,â you told them, urging them to get going.
âIt was nice to meet you, Bucky. I trust my sister will get home safe,â your sister said directly.
âIâll make sure of it,â he responded gallantly while your face felt as if it was literally on fire.
What was this, it was like your parents were dropping you off for your first date in high school. But somehow worse.
She nodded, âAnd thank you for the candy. Sidney,â she called, getting her daughterâs attention, âwhat do we say?â
âThank you! Happy Halloween!â
âYouâre very welcome,â Bucky smiled. âHappy Halloween.â
â
It wasnât long before you found yourself sitting on Buckyâs couch, a glass of water you had desperately needed sitting before you on the coffee table and Bucky sitting to the left of you, but keeping a respectable distance.
âIâm really sorry about my sisters, by the way. They can be a lot,â you huffed a laugh.
âDonât be,â he brushed off, âItâs nice to see, honestly.â
You looked over at him, he seemed a bit forlorn before he came back to himself.Â
âYou know, my niece was almost too scared to come to your door. She said this house is haunted, that âthe metal manâ lives here and kills anyone who tries to enter.â
âAh, I see word travels fast when it comes to children.â
âYeah, youâre kind of like their own urban legend.â
Bucky rolled his eyes playfully as you laughed, lifting a leg up to cross under your thigh as you turned to face him on the couch.
âWhat?â you asked, âDonât you want to be an urban legend?â
âNot really,â he laughed with a shake of his head, turning to face you better as well. âEspecially not when it leaves me with bowls full of king sized candy bars no one seems to want.â
Thereâs a pause before he continues,
âHonestly⊠I donât like knowing people are scared of me. I mean Iâve known, for a long time, that they are, itâs just.. Different when you can see that fear on their faces, in person.â
You didnât even realize you were moving as you scooted in closer to him while he spoke.
âI thought the city was bad, but ever since I moved out here, itâs all so much more intimate. The stares are a lot more pointed.â He laughed humorlessly at himself, âI heard a couple kids talking about my arm a few weeks ago and tried to tell myself I didnât care, but Iâve been wearing nothing but long sleeves every time I go outside now.Â
âIâm not ashamed of it,â he said quickly to clarify, âI just, I donât want them to have to be scared of me.â
âThey shouldnât be scared of you just because you have a prosthetic arm,â you argued, knowing they surely knew nothing else of who he was, âand their parents should probably be leading by better examples.â
âYeah, well,â he shrugged, âwhat can you do?â He swallowed the lump in his throat that was forming at your defense of him, âIâm sorry, I didnât mean to bring all this up-â
âNo, Iâm sorry, thatâs on me. I am incredibly skilled at killing conversations before they even begin.â
âI donât know about that. You donât know me well yet, so you donât know how big of a deal this is, but, I like talking to you,â he smiled.Â
You had to look away from his gaze, breathing a laugh as you did.Â
The movie was playing on screen, but neither of you were paying any attention to it as you continued talking.
Each time Bucky laughed at your lame jokes, you swore you felt like you were flying. You talked about everything and nothing. You got to know each other better, asking questions about life and preferences and favorites and what-ifs. The conversation flowed so easily, you never even really had to think about what to say next. That definitely wasnât usual for you, and you liked it. You liked him.
Somewhere along the way, the conversation turned flirty, and again, it was completely effortless.Â
Your knees were pressing against one another as you sat across from each other, almost side by side on the couch.
You laughed in unison at a cheesy line Bucky tried on you before a jump scare on the screen had you quite literally jumping. Without thought, you leaned into Bucky, and he had no qualms about it as you hid your face in his shoulder.
He laughed lightly, his arm coming around you and gently rubbing your back before you forced yourself to pull away. His warmth was so nice and welcoming, but if you didnât back up, you wouldâve tried to nuzzle right into his side - you couldnât risk the embarrassment.
As you turned back to sit next to him though, he kept his arm around you and tugged you in a bit closer.Â
You briefly wondered if he could hear your heartbeat, because you definitely could. You thought it might beat out of your chest at any moment as his warm cologne invaded your senses.
âSorry, I guess I just assumed you liked scary movies,â he laughed.
âYa know whatâs funny is I actually hate scary movies,â you told him, âthe It movies are some of the very few that donât scare me.â
âOh, that was you not being scared?â he smirked with a raised brow.
âThat was- it just, it caught me off guard,â you defended with a smile, absentmindedly leaning more into his hold.
You had never gotten so close to someone in such a short amount of time, emotionally or physically.Â
It was foreign, but you enjoyed it. It may have been sudden, but it didnât feel rushed.Â
âYou get scared easily?â he asked.
âIâm the biggest scaredy cat I know,â you admitted. âIâm not hard to get a jump out of, I get scared of literally everything,â you laughed at yourself.
You turned to look at him when he didnât say anything and felt your breath catch in your throat for the second time that night. He was so close to you now, and his eyes were piercing as he took you in, lingering on your lips and sending a chill through you.
The energy between you seemed to shift from something light and playful to something more charged, deliberate.
Your eyes drifted to his lips despite yourself, too.
He leaned in just a touch closer to you and your lips were mere inches away as he spoke,
âYouâre not scared of me,â he said, though you werenât sure if it was a question or not. Still, you responded as if it were.
Leaning in, brushing your lips against his, you breathed, âNo.â
His hand was on your head then, keeping you close to him as he pressed his lips against yours, it was fervent, yet delicate, as your lips moved against one another.Â
You moved a hand to hold onto his left shoulder and he tugged your body to move you completely over his lap while he continued to lead the kiss.
His metal hand found its way to your plush waist as he held you, squeezing you lightly and inadvertently causing you to sink down lower into his lap while your upper body melted into him.
His hand slid from your waist to your ass, grabbing you through your leggings, kneading your ample flesh in his large palm.
You moaned into his mouth and that seemed to spur him on because in the blink of an eye you found yourself being flipped onto your back as he pinned you beneath his large body.
When he finally broke the kiss, you were both panting, your hands fisted in his sweatshirt as his wandered your curves.Â
âDo you have a bed?â you breathed, pulling him back down to be closer to you, wanting desperately to have his lips on yours once more. He nodded.
âGlad you asked,â he returned, voice low and husky.
You yelped as Bucky lifted you in his arms, standing and carrying you with ease while you clung to him like your life depended on it. If he dropped you, you werenât sure youâd be able to recover from the embarrassment. But as he began up the steps and his hold didnât falter for a single second, you realized maybe there wasnât anything to worry about.. He held you like you weighed nothing and honestly, it sent a new wave of arousal through you as he reached the door of his bedroom.
He tossed you down on his bed carefully, but stopped you before you could begin tugging your leggings down your thick thighs.Â
You looked at him, confused and with a touch of worry you were about to be rejected.
âIâm sorry,â he began, âI shouldâve said this before I brought you up here,â
That did nothing to ease your worryâŠ
âI really like you. And I think there could be something real here between us, I donât want to ruin that. So if you were only here for one night,-â
âI really like you, too,â you cut him off, eyes gleaming into his, âAnd I think youâre right, I donât wanna ruin it either. I wasnât planning for this to be a one night stand, but if you want to take things slower, I donât have a problem with that.â
âNo, Iâm good with where we were heading, I just wanted to make it clear that I donât want this to be just tonight.â
You nodded, a little breathless as you smiled up at him.Â
âSame page, then.â
âGood,â he grinned before pushing you to lie back on his bed as he descended upon you.Â
His lips were on your neck and as he sucked on your sweet spot, you couldnât contain the soft moan that passed your lips.Â
His hands found the waistband of your bottoms and he pulled them down as much as he could manage before you lifted your hips and wiggled a bit to assist him in getting them off of you.Â
You pulled impatiently at the buckle of his jeans, earning a chuckle from him before he got to work taking them off.Â
While he got rid of his jeans, you pulled your shirt up and over your head, catching on the cat ears you had forgotten you were wearing. You threw them all to the side, unclasping your bra as Bucky shrugged his sweatshirt off over his head in turn.
He was back on top of you in an instant, pulling your bra off of you and tossing it to land with the rest of your discarded clothes off the side of the bed.
His large hands immediately went to your breasts, admiring the soft, heavy feel of them in his hands while he palmed them, squeezing slightly as he felt you.
You mewled under his attention, eyes closed in delight as his touch only added fuel to the fire burning in your core.Â
When he leaned down and took a pert nipple into his mouth, kissing and sucking on your tit, your hand found his hair as you gasped at the sensation, holding him to you, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on your breasts.
You could feel the wetness growing between your legs as he continued to have his fun, unconsciously rutting his thick cock against you when youâd moan for him.
As he traveled down your body, his hands following your curves and his lips kissing every inch of you that he could, he paid special attention to your tummy before he traveled even lower.Â
You were a writhing mess as you felt his warm breath on your folds. When your hips bucked up into his face and you felt his lips brushing your cunt, you whined obscenely at the feeling. Bucky laughed tauntingly, holding your hips back down as he poked his tongue out past his plump lips, lightly licking your folds and your sensitive clit as you gripped his hair and urged him closer, wanting, needing more.
He finally took mercy on you after a long, torturous minute, spreading you open for him before he ate you out like a man starved.Â
His tongue glided all over your slick cunt, dipping in and out of your tight entrance, before coming back up to flick your clit.Â
He drew figure eights over the sensitive bud and you swore you were about to come undone from that alone, but when he sunk his thick digits into your dripping pussy, curling them just right, rubbing against that special spot perfectly, you were seeing stars as your thighs threatened to clamp around his head while you shook from your orgasm. Your walls clamped down on his fingers as you came and he moaned at the feeling as he worked you through the high, more than ready to finally get his cock inside you.
âDoll, you look so gorgeous like this,â he admired as he held himself above you, ânaked and sweaty beneath me. Like a fucking goddess,â he praised, grabbing his erection and positioning himself at your entrance.Â
âYou sure youâre ready for me, sweetheart?â he asked, running his cockhead up and down your dripping slit.Â
âYes, Bucky, please,â you moaned pathetically, spreading your legs as wide as you could for him.
âMm, I love the way you say my name, doll,â he groaned as he pushed just his tip inside your tight cunt, moving in and out of you as you whined for him.
âGod, please, Bucky, please fuck me! I want it so bad,â you whimpered. âI wanna feel you fill me up, please.â
The growl that left his throat had your pussy fluttering, squeezing around nothing before he finally gave you what you wanted. With one hard, deep stroke, he was fully seated inside you. Your eyes squeezed shut as you gasped sharply, your hands gripping onto him wherever you could as he began to set his pace. With every thrust of his hips into you, he was hitting deeper and deeper inside your cunt.
âOh, fuck,â you cried.
âThere you go, sweetheart. Take all âa my cock inside this tight pussy, taking me so fuckinâ well,â his hands were tight on your hips as he fucked into you. âThis what you wanted, doll?â he panted, his pace never faltering as he fucked you harder, the slapping sound of skin on skin and his balls hitting your cunt with his every thrust filled the room, mingled with your moans and whimpers and his grunts and growls. âWanted this big dick to stretch you out, huh? Wanted to feel me fill you up with my hot cum til Iâm dripping outta you.â
One of his hands left your hip and instead went to grab at your breasts again, his large hand palming your tit as he squeezed and kneaded, flicking his thumb over your nipple and only adding to the pleasure threatening to send you over the edge.
âGod, yes! Please, fucking yes, Bucky, please, please, please, pleaseâ you begged pathetically, reaching a hand down to find your clit, working your bud in circles as your walls tightened around his thick cock.Â
Your eyes were about to roll into the back of your head as you moaned senselessly, Buckyâs hand leaving your chest and nudging your own away from your clit. He replaced your hand and circled your clit perfectly as he continued rolling his hips into yours, his pace growing more erratic and the words leaving his beautiful lips growing filthier the closer he got to his own end.Â
With one perfectly angled thrust, you were crying as your body shook at the intensity of your orgasm. Wave after wave of nerve tingling pleasure lighting you up as you rode out the high. Your toes curled, legs wrapped around him as much as they could be while he grabbed at your body, falling down closer to you as he moaned, holding your body tighter as he pumped his hips, âFuck,â he growled as he pushed himself as deep inside of you as he could, his eyes squeezing shut, holding himself there as he came, his body shaking some as he attempted to thrust once more.Â
You moaned at the feeling of him painting your walls, your hands in his hair as he buried his face in your neck, holding him to you. He stayed inside of you for a long minute as you both panted, trying to catch your breath, while he ensured he got all of his load out before he finally pushed himself up off of you, gently sliding out of you.
He flipped over next to you, laying on his back before he pulled you into him. Your hand rested on his chest as you laid in his left arm.
âHoly fuck,â you breathed, your fingers playing in his chest hair mindlessly as you worked to catch your breath.
His hand was running up and down your side soothingly as he moved to try and meet your eye.
âAre you okay?â he asked, his voice full of concern.
âYeah,â you assured him. âIâm better than okay, honestly. That wasâŠamazing.â
âGood, Iâm glad,â he smiled, âbut still, Iâm sorry if I got carried away. I tend to run my mouth when Iâm, uh,â he fumbled with his words, âya know, in the moment.âÂ
He looked so bashful, you couldnât help but laugh lightly at his expression.
âYou just said all of what you just said, but you had trouble with that?â you tittered, rubbing his chest before turning further into him, laying on your side as he stayed on his back, propping his right hand under his head as he relaxed into the position. âBut really, Bucky, you donât have to apologize. I donât know if you could tell, butâŠI really liked it,â you simpered sensually.
Bucky smiled at you as you leaned up to meet his lips in a soft kiss.Â
âItâs probably way late now, right?â you asked as you pulled away from him. âI should probably head back.â
Bucky sat up after you, âDo you have to?â he asked softly.
You looked back at him, his blue eyes set on you. You nipped at your lower lip before shaking your head lightly. A new, sweeter excitement washing over you.
âYou donât have to if you donât want to, but you could stay for the night,â he offered. âI was hoping I could take you for breakfast in the morning?â
Your heart skipped a beat at the hopeful look in Buckyâs eyes as he waited for your response. That giddiness you felt earlier came over you once again as you held his gaze.
âYeah,â you smiled. âYeah, that sounds nice.â
and thank you so much for the kind words! this is one of my personal favorites, too so iâm thrilled you love it đ„° thank you for reading and taking the time to reblog this, youâve absolutely made my day đ«¶đ»
yes babes omg!! it was so good I keep reading and rereading and rereading I literally just read it last night again because it's just THAT good! never stop putting out such amazing pics I wanna read again and again!
âDid I do something wrong?â He blushed, pink splashing across his cheeks and neck and the tips of his ears. You continued. âBecause youâve been avoiding me for the past, like, month. Donât think I didnât notice. If this is about me touching you, Iâm really sorry for that, I shouldâve known better. Just because you didnât say anything, doesnât make it alright for me to keep doing that, not at all. Iâm sorry I made you uncomfortable all this time, if you really donât want to work with me because of the breach of your personal boundaries, I completely understand. I can ask Hotch for a transferâ.â
âNo!â Spencer found himself proclaiming too loudly and too quickly.
Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.
I read Spill It when it first came out and I was HOOKED! literally amazing writing, not a single day goes by when I don't think about it, and now its a 4 part story??? when I tell you I DEVOURED it in one sitting I mean it
no that fanfic singlehandedly changed the very course of my life and is the main reason I've become such an avid enjoyer of bucky barnes x plus-sized reader, and I also began writing in part because of Spill It.
so thank you for inspiring me to write and all the amazing work u do.
love you loads !!!!
-k
Oh my god, HI! That series is genuinely so important to me and the way that it still resonates with people and that people still mention it to me, is the loveliest thing as a writer!!
I'm so glad you felt like you could lean into more plus sized reader fics. It's so important to feel comfortable as you are, and I can imagine they help so much. But the biggest compliment might be that I inspired you to write, because WHAT A FLEX!! Good job honey, I hope you still really enjoy writing :)
My favorite thing about fanfic authors is they can identify any gap in a canon timeline where characters are offscreen and exploit the ever living fuck out of it
summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.
After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?
warnings: Â language, mention of Bucky having a nightmare, mentions of sex, FLUFF!!!!!
word count: 3.1k
taglist: @cjand10 @mcira @calwitch
PREVIOUS PART
A/N: its been a long time coming...SORRY I got into med at my top choice uni so life's been a bit busy recently!!!! pls comment and reblog and lmk what you think!! <333
âHey doll, can you help me a minute?â Youâre lounging in the living room, watching women try their best to sell cardigans that look like theyâd fall apart in the smallest gust of wind, not really paying much attention. Youâre too busy thinking about Bucky, fiddling with the hem of your dress. About how good he looked at dinner last night, how you could swear his hand was softly touching your face in the middle of the night, when you decided to sleep in his bed because of his nightmare.
And the way it was making you feel. Stirring something inside your chest and between your legs like never before, butterflies and raw desire and hardcore want â itâs almost too much. Itâs been a week since his birthday, since you called a truce. And you cant stop thinking of anything that isnât him, much like when youâd first met him. His hair, his eyes, his voice, his handsâ fuck. You donât know what these past couple of weeks have done to you. Maybe itâs because youâve gone so long without sex, yes, maybe the depravity is getting to your brain and channeling feelings that youâve killed and fought and suffered to bury deep down so they neverâ
âDoll? You okay?â Bucky stands at the door, shirtless and shaving cream over half of his face, watching you. You realise youâve been blankly staring at him the entire time, and immediately snap out of it.Â
âYeah, Iâm fine. What do you need help with?â He shuffles as you straighten, walking over to him and stopping just a metre away. Itâs almost too close.Â
âMy arm is acting up again, I canât finish shaving. CouldâŠcould you do it for me? Please.â You nod, reaching forward and grabbing the razor out of his hand. Your fingertips brush and you swallow your stuttering heartbeat at the contact.Â
âYeah, of course.â This is the second time this has happened, that his arm has been acting up to the point where he can barely move it. He wonât show it, but you know the pain must be excruciating. You try not to dwell on it, or your urge to soothe him as he leads you to the bathroom.
âSit down on the edge of the bathtub for me.â You use your commanding voice as you fish out his shaving cream from the medicine cabinet. As you turn to face him, you catch him wince. You canât stop yourself.
âDoes it hurt a lot?â You keep your voice and face devoid of any judgement, lest he believe your question to be mockery. He looks away, down at his lap.
âSometimes. I hate it, it makes me wishâŠâ You close the distance between the both of you, lace your fingers through the hair at the back of his head, and gently tug, pulling his face upwards.
âLook at me when youâre talking to me, Bucky. What does it make you wish?â His pupils dilate to a new diameter you once thought impossible, at your authoritative voice. He likes it. It makes him realise that being controlled doesnât always feel evil and torturous. Sometimes it can be desire awakening, and cause that familiar blanket to gloss over his brain and eyes, the blanket that only leads him to think of you.Â
âIt makes me wish I had arms like yours.â You gently manoeuvre your right hand to slip a finger between vibranium and the weird skin-like rubber stretched on top of it, and freeze at his words.Â
You offer him a soft smile. âArms like mine?â
âTwo well-functioning arms. Not dependent on some metal hunk to do the job for you. You can feel everything in a way Iâll never be able to, no matter how advanced Wakandan technology gets. Arms like yours.â
You curl the fingers in his hair, feeling the soft silkiness against your delicate skin. You affectionately stroke his scalp as the both of you sigh in tandem at the new, yet not unpleasant, feeling. âThe grass always seems greener on the other side, darling.â You try and convince yourself youâre just practising calling him names so you can play it off at the housewarming party youâre having later tonight. You fail.
âYouâve seen the state of my arms, havenât you? Every single scar on them comes alongside the most horrible memories of a night Iâd do anything to forget. IâI canât believe Iâm saying thisâ Iâve always been a bit jealous of your vibranium arm. Not how you got it, of course, but of how fucking cool it looks. How strong it makes you, can you imagine the things I could do if I were as strong as you? And I like the black and goldâŠOver the years, itâs become such an inherent part of you, it made me sad to watch you walk around with the human skin sleeve thing on. But I know how you got it, and the memories that you would do anything to forget, and Iâm almost never there when it starts acting up, or when the phantom pains make you double over. Just like how you donât know I can barely stand the sight of myself in a mirror, because of all of those scars.â You focus on slowly peeling the skin sleeve off as you speak, avoiding eye contact. Youâve become the one thing you hate the most â vulnerable.
The rubber skin finally pops off, and his face finally shifts away from yours to focus on the mild relief seeing vibranium brings. âIs that any better?â Youâre changing the topic. He knows youâre changing the topic, but he doesnât argue with it or fight to get back, he knows what a big thing it was for you to admit all that you just did.
âA bit. It might be better if you detach my arm.â You nod, eyes still not looking at him, but rather, following the intricate lines and details youâve so sorely missed.Â
âThen Iâll go get you an ice pack.âÂ
When the cool gel pack presses against his skin, he immediately relaxes, letting out a shaky breath. Dear God, he mustâve been in agony. You gesture for him to hold his right hand over the top of the pack to press it to his ache, so you can focus on other activities, like shaving. When your hands brush, this time, you canât help but stare into the cerulean abyss of his eyes, temporarily letting your maddening affections be known. His eyes glance at your lips like the lack of space between you two is the one thing heâs been waiting for, and you let your eyes drift downwards too. Letting yourself enjoy the bright pink curve of his lips â how can anyoneâs lips be this colour? How can he have such a pretty mouth that you want nothing more than to kiss, and taste and feel on yourâ?
âSo do you want a clean shave? Or do you want me to leave some parts?âÂ
His heart sinks. He shouldâve known the way youâre looking at him might be a last minute resort to cure the depravity that must ail you, instead of you actually desiring him. He shouldnât have let his fantasies get carried away.
âClean shave is fine.â You nod, carefully testing the razor on your arm to gauge the pressure you should apply without hurting him. He canât help but melt at the small gesture, and his arm winds around your waist as he pulls you onto his lap.Â
âItâll be easier this way.â You try to think nothing of it. Especially, the way his hand feels splayed across your lower back and cementing your entire front to his. Youâve never realised his hands were so big until the tips of his fingers reach your hair and thumb rests respectfully just below where your bra begins. You nod, trying to calm your breathing.
He notices. He keeps silent, wondering what your next move will be. He certainly doesnât expect you to cup his jaw so delicately and, more of note than that, so fondly as you begin dragging the razor down his face, watching it glide and reveal smooth skin than the blue eyes that seem to have no interest in anything that isnât your face.Â
âLift your chin up for me a bit, thatâs it. Good boy.â The last part slips almost out of habit, but you donât register this until itâs too late. Heâs looking at you and youâre looking at him and he fits against you so perfectly that you canât resist meeting his wonderful blue eyes. He watches you, lips parted.
And he canât hold back anymore, breathing in the scent of shaving cream and perfume and your fucking pheromones. He glances between your eyes, searching for any inkling of hesitance in the beautiful colour heâs painted his wall back home.Â
Then he grabs your face in his one hand, sliding into your soft hair and your eyes close in instinct, letting out the smallest relieved sigh ever. Because you are. It feels like every interaction youâve had with Bucky in the past 8 years is finally coming to a boil, and your conscience is tired of suppressing the deep attraction that you feel towards him. Sexual, romantic, all of it. All of it.Â
His soft, sweet, wanting mouth meets yours, half-open in desire, for a languid kiss. It is full of longing and lust and pining, almost a decadeâs worth of it. Your hand finds his head again, grabbing onto the short, soft locks and keeping his face pressed up against yours. You canât help it, you want more. Youâve always wanted more, and searched for it in everyone but the one man you crave. You know, just to torture yourself. Thatâs the reality of what youâve been doing, the circles youâve been running in, around and around and around him. Avoidant attachment, anxious avoidance. You donât know what on Earth to call it, all you know is you want nothing to do with it anymore. And just as your lungs begging for oxygen out-win your heartâs greed, you realise what youâve just done, the domino youâve just toppled.
You rest your forehead against his, staring deeply into his dilated pupils. So pretty.
âBuckyâŠâ You never did revert back to James once your tongue became familiar with his nickname. âWe canât be doing thisâŠif they find out,â you say, gripping his shoulder ever so desperately. âThey wonât let us work together again.â His eyebrows scrunch up in immense pain, like to hear that is more excruciating than any torture heâs ever been subject to.
âDonât say that. Donât give me a taste of everything Iâve been wanting for the past fucking, like, decade and then rip it away from me. Theyâll understand, justâPlease, donât say that. Please.â He grips your face a little tighter, not wanting to let you go. And the desperation in his voice breaks you. Severely.Â
You kiss him again, more fervently like youâd die if you donât taste him again. He tastes like the strawberries he was eating for breakfast, and you moan. Unabashedly. Because he is everything youâve been wanting, and youâre tired of denying it to every bastard haunted corner of your mind. His eyebrow furrows when he realises that you want him just as bad, and he hasnât been making it up for these past long years. It wasnât all in his mind. Youâre real, youâre sitting in his lap and kissing him like your life depends on it. Dear God, how is he ever going to deny you anything you ask of him ever again? He wonât and he wonât want to. Ever.
He moans every nickname he can think of when you kiss him so feverishly, he makes every sound under the sun at the feeling of your soft lips and soft body and soft everything that makes him go fucking feral.Â
And then he moves his left arm to grab at you, if only to watch how beautiful you look with the black and gold against your skin, forgetting that it currently lies on the bathroom floor, and a nauseating pain flares up again.Â
âAh, shit.â Youâve known him long enough to recognise when heâs in pain. You pull away, ceasing grinding against his erection to seek veracity in his face. âDid I hurt you, darling?â You gently touch his cheek, relishing in the way he leans into it.
âNo.â His eyes flutter closed as you stroke his marvellous cheekbone, already so sick with affection for him. âMy shoulderâŠIâI wanted to touch more of you, butâ.â
âOh, itâs okay. Itâs okay, Buck. Really. Here, let me help you. Shit, I shouldâve thought of that before I leaped at you. Sorry.â How is this so easy? Youâve never been this affectionate with anyone beforeâŠMaybe itâs the privacy, and the intimacy of being in the bathroom with him, in his lap.Â
âDonât apologise for that. It might be the best thing thatâs ever happened to me.â He smiles bashfully as you laugh stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, gently pressing the now lukewarm icepack against his shoulder.Â
âYou have an incredibly low bar for âbest thing to have ever happened to youâ.âÂ
He kisses your cheek, and your eyelids flutter. âMaybe youâre just that amazing,â he whispers against your ear, kissing it. You gasp.
âIs this all it takes to get you to not hate me? Kiss you?â You eye his lips once again, already reminiscing the feeling of them. Golden, like daylight.Â
âIâve never hated you.â Your eyes dart up, knowing heâs lying. He canât be serious.
âWhat do you mean? You hated me from the get-go. Why do you think I stopped being nice to you?âÂ
âI felt like I didnât deserve you. Thatâs why. I know itâs not an excuse for the horrible things Iâve done, like my birthday, but I truly felt that way. I felt so evil, so unworthy of any goodness that anyone offered me, but especially you. Iâve been Iâobsessed with you since the second I saw you, but I guess it was a form of self-sabotage to deny myself of it. And by the time I felt worthy enough to try to win you over, I was too late.â He swallows some of the pain, and you hand shifts to cup his face. âSo I thought, maybe if I keep you hating me, at least youâll feel something for me, like a sick form of validation.âÂ
You smile softly at his confession, feeling your heart swell at his reddening cheeks. âYou are the first, and only, person Iâve ever had romantic feelings for. They were so intense, I didnât know what to do with myself. I didnât know how to act around you, and when I thought you hated me, I thought it was for the best. Maybe it would help me get over you. But instead, Iâve spent pretty much a whole decade trying to convince myself that I donât have any feelings for you. I was, so wrong. Iâm so sorry. I said so many horrible things to you, and you never deserved any of it. I knew that, but I was too caught up in myself to mind. But you deserve good things, amazing things even. You always have.â You kiss him again, passionately yet shortly, sealing your words with the action.
âSo we wasted 8 years?â You nod, resting your head against the crook of his neck. âNot wasted. Iâd rather argue with you than be with anyone else. ThatâŠis abundantly clear.â He laughs, and you stand, extending your hand to him. He gently grabs your fingers and stroking them, before he flips it and kisses the back of it, looking up at you through his lashes. A silly, lovesick grin takes over your features as he pulls you into him wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his head on your stomach. You soothe him, and enjoy the silence.
âIâd rather have you hate my guts than be in love with anyone else.â
â âąâ â°âââœàŒâŸâââ±â âąâ
The party goes as expected. Buck had pulled you into his lap while you were doing your makeup, just silently watching you. Youâve never felt more wanted, and you realise that this was the one thing youâve always craved, deep down. To be wanted, to be loved. Recently, more specifically to be wanted and loved by Bucky. The two of you are nowhere near that stage right now, but the want and desire is there. His chin on your shoulder, poised to angle his head to press kisses to your neck as you apply your favourite blush, or him stroking your waist when you lean forward to apply mascara. Obsessed, enamoured, unabashed.Â
The both of you also determined a common distress signal while you were applying lip gloss, to converse in Hindi when you want to convey information in plain sight. A language nobody here would know, but it allows your words to go almost undetected â appearance vs. Reality, you suppose.
Senator Parker was just as sleazy as you expected, leaning into you and trying his best to stare down your dress when he thought you werenât looking. Once Bucky noticed it, heâs kept himself glued to your side at all times, sparing no expense in calling you his beautiful wife. You asked the Senator why he was away for so long, and he engages in conversation.
âWell, you see, sweetheart, I was looking for a new right-hand man.â You hand fists the back of Buckyâs shirt at the nickname, and he holds you a little tighter in response. Youâre lucky he knows how to read you so well, to keep you on the task at hand.
âIs he showing up tonight?â Bucky asks, gently stroking your back to keep you grounded.
Just then the doorbell rings, and you seize the chance to leave this conversation. You donât think you can handle a man twice your age eye-fucking you any longer.
âIâll go get that. Youâll have to excuse me.â You offer Parker a tight-lipped smile, before turning and pressing up to your tiptoes to press a light, affectionate kiss on Buckyâs cheek. He blushes, grinning. âBe right back,â you whisper, for his ears only. Heâs the only person youâd ever want to come back to.
You open the door with a polite smile on your face, only to be met with, quite literally, the man of your nightmares.
