Hej, Det Er Mig.

[funnylime]

why my hand shaky

[sundial911]

your skeleton is ready to hatch

[funnylime]

this is so fucking ominous thank you

[thisusedtoberum-deactivated2017]

The COOK doesnt Make the Burger, The Boy who ORDERS the BUrger (the Burger BOy) doth USES the Cook as a Tool for Whomst the BUrger is a Product of his Being Therein. Whence the One whom IS placed the ORDER for the Burger Therein he Therefore Create the BUrger insofar as he Is the ONE who IS the one by WHomst the BURGER was ORdered and Therefore for WHOmost the Burger ist dost made. Thus, the Cook Doesnt Make the BURGER, THe Burger BOy maks it

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

how the human brain works:

electricity tickles the meat so that different slimes come out. sometimes the slime feels good sometimes bad. some people make more bad slime than good slime. that’s called clinical depression.

[reverbpotato]

my biology textbook said it was more like a sauce

[setsu-nana]

Happy sauce machine broke

[theunintendedmuse]

you: this generation wants to fuck vampires and shit, what happened to when vampires were scary?

me, an intellectual: vampire stories literally developed as a way to explore anxieties and fears around sex, you're supposed to want to fuck them, that's the point

me, a 15th century peasant: i wrote them about the plagues that cursed our village, do not assign your horny victorian vampire pamphlets to me

[gosh]

[lets-catch-some-waves]

[toriemelody]

[lyjerria]

I’m literally doing my best but I’m not gonna beg anyone to understand that

[bob-belcher]

[snorlaxatives]

“michael bay is producing a live action dora the explorer movie” is a sentence i never in my life thought i would read and now that i have read it with my own two eyes i feel deeply unsettled to my core

[sirenofthetimes]

you know, the weird thing about the ‘i didn’t care about feminism until i had a daughter’ crowd is that the vast majority of these men have wives.they formed close,intimate relationships with actual human woman over the course of several years and yet that wasn’t enough to make them give half a shit about women’s issues. but the very moment that wife, that living breathing human female with rights and needs that these men could have been caring about this whole time,pops out a baby that  they feel is their possession, then women’s issues are important. very bizarre. 

[learningtoacceptchange]

… I’m making tea. 

[denisvilleneuve]

if you ever feel bad about having no friends just remember how many fakes are around james cameron. “yeah man, everyone wants FOUR more avatar movies, just do your thing”… like.. i’d rather be alone 

[justsomeantifas]

them: we’re over populated, that’s why people don’t have enough food to eat

reality: capitalism over-produces food, we have enough food to feed the world we just throw away what isn’t profitable.

[queerlittlecreature-deactivated]

and corporations COULD give excess food to the poor and the homeless but most of them go out of their way to trash it

[justsomeantifas]

corporation throwing away millions of pounds of food: And if you buy one of our microwave meals we’ll donate 1 cent to help end child hunger. (:

[littlealienproducts]

[blueskidooo-deactivated20190104]

finally someone asking the important questions

[psliterary-deactivated20190419]

Literature adds to reality. It does not simply describe it.

C.S Lewis 

[land-of-birds-and-comics]

i’m so sad english has no word immediately equivalent to “bürzel” because it really improves the german duck experience

it basically means “bird butt” and i think it should be clear that phrases like “i’m gonna freeze my bird butt off” are vastly superior to, idk, “i’m gonna freeze my tailfeathers off”

[land-of-birds-and-comics]

i JUST thought of another cute german bird term but i’m less sure about whether it exists in english? SCHNÄBELN. means bird kisses.

unlike “bürzel”, it’s criminally underused in duck content. probably because bird kisses in general are criminally underused compared to anthropomorphised kisses. let them nuzzle their beaks together. let them.

[omnivore-odyssey]

When some dude complains that feminists should shut up because women somewhere else have it worse: