🌲🌻🌽

°.°.°.°.°.° ×I'm Rye and I crave bread× .°.°.°.°.°. my blood is soup and my guts are plastic - Wishlist

[averagefairy]

not to flex but i got the dolly parton vaccine and i feel her power coursing through my veins in this very moment

[sundial911]

I'm high as shit and have no one to talk about how young sheldons mom looks exactly like the early 2000s pregnant teen girl

[sundial911]

Don't get high and start looking at light options, I found out about fandeliers and I believe architecture is returning to biblical inspiration. The amount of scary angel and warm sucking lights was enough to make me post on here again

[sundial911]

EXHIBIT A

[sundial911]

Don't get high and start looking at light options, I found out about fandeliers and I believe architecture is returning to biblical inspiration. The amount of scary angel and warm sucking lights was enough to make me post on here again

[lizzylolz]

Do you get it now? Without due process, everyone is at risk. How are you going to prove your citizenship otherwise?

[cozyhestia]

I am literally chomping at the bit to be settled down!!! Partner upgraded to spouse. First house bought. Garden established. A kid to raise. Born to be a middle-aged woman and/or grandma, forced to be living through the turmoil and uncertainty of my early and middle 20s.

[radiation]

[gaynfl-moved]

he needs enrichment

[fiyerotigelar]

Reminder for when he “saves” it. He was the one who wanted this, and now he gets to be the hero and win favour with young constituents. Don’t give him the credit for fixing his own problem.

[aperfumedpearl]

1920 baby swan car

[sundial911]

it can only go 40 mph, it's not highway approved

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[sundial911]

does yahoo still own this thing

[jellogram]

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

[allthatispeculiar]

[thetruemek]

[tilthat]

TIL that because of a mistranslation Jimmy Carter told the Polish people in 1977 that he desired them carnally and that he had left the United States to never return.

via reddit.com

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Imagine being a Polish citizen and you hear the American president say he’s here to fuck and he’s not leaving

[sundial911]

[sundial911]

What does it mean when your favorite color is no longer a love without another color to replace it? I feel like it's a loss of identity, a loss of passion, a loss of energy to keep choosing that specifically

[feraligatr]

My cousin has already been married and divorced how am i supposed to keep up

[sundial911]

Become mayor of a small southern town and hope the Hallmark channel fairy finds you