rising tides

mistress of maritime mayhem

[thevices]

moving out because my bitchass partner farted so loud it woke me and the dog and just kept sleeping, completely unbothered

[thevices]

the face of a criminal in place-jail for her 176th crime of the hour

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[thevices]

we’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty

[loveridden1999]

person (non-practicing)

[angelicdewdrop]

[lonelysummerbreeze]

2005

[perpetualpigeons]

[ID: a handknit jumper. the front features a seal sitting on a rock in the sea, with fish falling into its open mouth. On the back is a bucket, throwing the fish up and over the shoulders to the seal. end ID]

"Sealed with a Fish", from Wild Animal Knits by Melinda Coss. Knit with John Arbon Devonia and Devon Naturals DK yarn.

This took much longer than usual to knit -- I don't know if I was just spending less time knitting, or if it was the complex intarsia (the waves involved 10+ balls of yarn 😭). I'm really happy with it, it was a lot of fun to knit, and I can't wait to wear it (in a few months time...)

[thevices]

honeytraps are so funny and so evergreen because there is no technology we can invent to make men be less dumb and horny. loose lips sinkin ships since forever for forever

[thevices]

my dogs name is Lexapro but she’s a 5 month old German Shepard so she actually responds to her true name “OW NO BITING”

[thevices]

the wild beast in question

[thevices]

my dogs name is Lexapro but she’s a 5 month old German Shepard so she actually responds to her true name “OW NO BITING”

[flowerinaflame]

[hallogallo]

Smug face of a free man

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[thevices]

if I couldn’t sail tomorrow I would either open a bar or open a girls, gays, and theys gym where I had the contractual latitude to kick out anyone that is fatphobic. Honestly the gym would be more community service because I just did three one-week-frees with the gyms in my area and no one knows the difference between exercising for self love rather than self obliteration.

[thevices]

Lexapro’s pup cup at 2mo and 4.5mo

[importantcatpics]

[keepyourmouthshutandyourmindopen]

Need one more to unlock the door

[knightofleo]

the hauntings of Andrew Wyeth