[robertdowneyjjr]

Married life with Ellen and Portia.

[each-our-own-devil]

IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE REBLOGGED THIS IT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE FUCKING THING

[thew8offood-blog]

Portia nd Ellen are the cutest💜👭 lol

[thew8offood-blog]

😂😂😂😂

[thew8offood-blog]

So i just found out a good friend of mine (croutonwinner) passed away june 2 2019. :-(  from the time i knew her in 2012 til i left and went to college upstated in 2014 she was in such pain. no one could heal her pain. she tried. I wonder what she died from, her anorexia, covid, suicide? i hope shes at peace now.

[thew8offood-blog]

idk how to deal with my emotions...I go from being ok to wanted to kill myself just to sstop these negative emotions :-((( I miss Heidi :((((((

[thew8offood-blog]

Tat #2 I'm gonna keep fighting through my ED depression anxiety ms mother trauma history ..I wanna persevere

[thew8offood-blog]

It's been weeks now and I'm still recovering as best as I could...I still have a long way to go tho (psychologically) but I'm trying Ivery been meeting with my dietician every week since nov 23rd nd I never thought she'd make much of a difference but she did😭 and my therapist Heidi has done wonders ughhh I'm so lucky

[thew8offood-blog]

I've been in ed recovery for days now and it's thanks to the unconditional support I get from heidi (therapist) Donna(dietician ) and lgbt support group:) I'm so thankful for them ND am so glad I'm free

[thew8offood-blog]

So the fight between my mom started when she started belittling me for being fat and I responded " funny how u and the family totally embrace the child molester with open arms but you hate me for wanted to love you I want to love and she w as like who are u calling a child molester?? And i said FRANKIE! And she was he was a kid! And u plated with him and I said mom he wasn't a kid it's no like I was 9 and he was 10 I was 9 and he was 16 and when I was 12 he was 18! And she said he was a kid and I said to u he was and she said something like u act like u didn't like playing with him and I told her I was never playing I begged him to stop then she told me being fat is the worst thing ever! And I mouth worse than someone hurting ur child and she said fuck u to me ND said she was done with the convo......then I was going to the buffet with my brother and he was like why are u talking about this noooow? And I said bc I just wanna r remind mom that she's being hypocritical how does she hate me more than a molester and he said what do u want? You want them to send him to jail... and I said I want then to at least treat me in the same manner not Hate me bc I wanna love who I want and I wanna be embraced with open arms and shit....I creel like I don't have anyone not a mom dad or brother 😭 I feel like I don't have a brother mom or dad.....I feel so alone!!

[thew8offood-blog]

[thew8offood-blog]

So therapy was intense today.... Heidi asked me how much I lost ... Since the beginning of the semester... And I was honest and said 33lbs and she said she could tell I lost a lot and I got excited and said REALLY!!? It was so automatic and I told her that I was fine and she said this (Ed) is not then she asked to see what I ate and I handed her my phone to my RR app were I log everything I eat...and then she said she doesn't know how I'm able to function at school get good grades and have a full time internship and I shrugged and said i just do it so then she told me that she was gonna talk to my psychiatrist.... And I said why? So that he could change my meds to something that'll increase my appetite and make me eat so much and get fat. And she said no she want him to know what's going on with me so I said ok.... And I said but if he changes my med I'm taking it... And she said he won't....she said "I care about ya" and I was like aww thank u😩😭 I love her she's the best therapist ever! She asked me about how I felt about Ed treatment and I froze and said uh then she said think about it and I told her that I can't cope and be "normal " without this this is my normal then she reminded me about the coping skills that I have been using (coloring journaling etc) then I told her I need a destructive release and that's what my cutting did then my Ed..... Guys I'm scared lol I want help but i don't.... Before I left she said ur doing so well u are trying not so hard to cope... U come to therapy u go to group and those things aren't easy ..... Something as little as going to therapy she sees as a big accomplishment 😩😭

[baestheorem-deactivated20201217]

[thew8offood-blog]

She's so fucking sexy!!! I love her!!

[oitnb]

[thew8offood-blog]

Lol

[thew8offood-blog]

I love my therapist Heidi !! She's so great and attentive. Yesterday during session she told me that she wanted to refer me to the nutritionist on campus. I've been telling her no for like 2 weeks since she brought it up. She really pressed it yesterday and asked about what I ate yesterday and stuff and was on me and said she was really concerned. I admit that I lost a bunch a weight since meeting her but it's not a big deal...: and I was telling her that I exercise a lot! And that I eat enough or else I wouldn't be standing and she told me that she didn't believe me. And that she cud see my brain turning tryin g to come up with other excuses/ things to say that'll make it ok. She said she was worried especially bc of my MS and history of liver/galbladder/ stomach issues ..... Then she said next week we're focusing on food. And I said oook. I guess I bring in my food journal but I kinda wanna not bc I'm really embarrassed by my behavior ..:: I can't show her my RR account cuz I track vowel movements (habit informed cuz of the stomach doc and now I record everytime I go ) and that's embarrassing by itself so idk.... I think I'll show her the RR account on second thought. She really cares about me. Someone called on the phone and interrupted out session and she kinda yelled at them and told them to look at some schedule before they call and slammed the phone back. I'm on 100 mg of Zoloft now and it's working well (see I do try for those of you who think I'm just sitting her wallowing in self pity )

[thew8offood-blog]

How dare the fucking guy that sexually abused me think that he can "crash" at my house and why wud my mom say yes!:-(( bullshit!! I don't wanna come home if he's there..:: I told my mom that I don't want him to stay over and she was like he's family .... If u wanted to crash at his moms house she'd say yes.... I wanted to say I didn't molest her child and fuck up her child's childhood and life...I don't give a damn! Ughhhh

[e-l-e-n-a-t]

Baby wakes up.

[homerically]

NOTHING PREPARED ME

[thew8offood-blog]

I wrote my mom a letter saying that she hurt my feelings when she accused me of stealing MY CARD from her bag along with my credit card and she totally didn't even acknowledge the letter. Watever This is the first semester where I don't miss home ... I don't really care to go home and I just wanna be high and not care

[thew8offood-blog]

I wish things could go back to the time where I was so oblivious and naive to the fact that no one actually loved/cared about me. When the world seemed like such loving place… I wish I could go back to the time where I thought the adults in my life were super heroes… They’re just humans who have their own agendas … I wish I could go back to a time where I wasnt so godamn guilt reddened. Ultimately I’d like to go back to a time where o didn’t feel like I was losing my fucking mind

[thew8offood-blog]

I wanna get high and not think anymore