You didn’t need your heart today, right? Good.
Stranger Things
Keni

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
Peter Solarz
🪼
No title available
Mike Driver
No title available
Jules of Nature
tumblr dot com
noise dept.
Today's Document

Origami Around

#extradirty
h
sheepfilms
Claire Keane
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@thewaydansmiless
You didn’t need your heart today, right? Good.
The most ridiculous complaints that customers have made to me
“One of your cashiers has a huge zit on her cheek. It was gross looking and I lost my appetite. She should have popped it before she came in this morning.”
“The cashier over there was counting money. As a joke, my ten-year-old started shouting random numbers. The cashier made an angry face and now my son is upset. He has no right to get angry at a little kid who doesn’t know any better.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t be drinking water bottles while on the clock. What if they put vodka in there?”
“One of your employees has way too many tattoos and does her makeup way too dark. I don’t like her funky colored hair either. It’s trashy and unprofessional. I won’t be shopping here anymore.”
“If the pregnant girl wanted to have relations out of wedlock, that’s up to her, but she should be wearing a fake wedding band while she’s working. I don’t want my children to think that premarital sex is okay.”
“Some of your cigarettes are marked as ”$1 off". You shouldn’t sell them. They condone smoking.“
“I was told I couldn’t bring my 15-year-old son into the liquor section. It wasn’t like I was buying booze for him!”
“The cashier farted silently while she was ringing me up. It smelled horrible.”
“You shouldn’t allow people to bring their service dogs in the store. I don’t like dogs. They make me uncomfortable.”
“You really shouldn’t let your employees go home in the middle of a rush.”
“I let my son eat a banana while I was shopping. I told the cashier. She said that bananas go by weight and she can’t ring them up without the actual product. She told me it was fine and just to remember for the next time, but I know she didn’t mean it so I felt obligated to run all the way back to the produce department and grab another one so that she could charge me.”
“There are way too many foreigners working here. You should be more concerned about making sure Americans are employed.”
“You should build a separate bathroom for employees.”
“I pulled into a handicap spot. One of your cart pushers told me I had to move. I may not be handicapped but I have had a very long day and I don’t have the energy to walk across the entire parking lot.”
“Not hiring my son because of his age is discrimination. I got him his working papers on his 14th birthday last week. That should be enough.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t let customers bag their own purchases under any circumstances.”
Wow people are awful
the only way to read these is in a white suburban mom voice
maybe if im under enough blankets, the Responsibilities wont be able to find me
this will always be my favorite thing in the world
Omg
a pregnant woman goes into a coma
months later she wakes up, no longer pregnant
“you had twins! ” the nurse exclaims. “your brother named them”
“what did he name the girl?” the woman asks
“denise”
“that’s alright, I like denise. and the boy?”
“denephew”
this is like 1998 chain email-level content
http://iglovequotes.net/
Mother
When Your Crush Shows Interest ✨
“When I was first auditioning, Queenie was a traditional bombshell. I definitely never would have gotten the role if that remained the main focus because I never saw myself as that,” says Sudol. “She’s soft and nurturing, and we need more female characters like that to show young women you can be feminine and that actually can be a strength.”
When your fingertips brush my hand I have to pull myself back From intertwining my fingers Around each individual knuckle And in between the spaces of your skin.
When you turn your head and smile I have to bite down on my lip Because I can feel soft gasps Trying to escape From the corners of my mouth.
When you put your hand on my sleeve I try my hardest to pull away Because at any second in this moment I can feel my resistance breaking And I’m overrun with the feeling of wanting to be in your arms.
And oh god when you say my name Not a thousand angels Nor a million stars could ever compare To the chills you send up my spine.
me texting
me: *screenshot of meme* me
me: *screenshot of meme* you
me: *screenshot of meme* me
me: *screenshot of meme* us
me: *screenshot of meme* you af