Normal doesn't exist.

wick (she/her). a 90's kid, crewmate of Tongyao, captain of TypeNo, fic writer, & meta lover's multifandom blog. [buy me ko-fi]

[traveling-spartan]

If you ever tagged me to do one of those tag game thingies and I never did it:

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

2) Very sorry about that, it’s extremely likely that I said to myself “Cool! But I’m busy at the moment, I’ll have to do this later today or tomorrow” before proceeding to just straight-up forget, now it’s too far back in my notifications and/or your blog to find again.

[ao3commentoftheday]

A few months ago, I posted about the term "proshipper" and how it had changed over time from meaning "someone who is in favour of the idea of shipping characters in the media they consume" to meaning "someone who is probably a real life abuser of children."

To say that there has been some definitional drift would be an understatement.

Anyway, I posted basically the same thing on tiktok a few weeks ago and today I got a comment thanking me for sharing and the commentered ended with the statement, "being an 'anti' sounds exhausting."

I've been (over)thinking about why 'antis' are they way they are for a long time now, and this really does hit the nail on the head for me. People who are involved in 'anti' culture probably are exhausted. All the time.

I've never been a part of that area of fandom, but from an outside perspective it seems like it requires:

constant vigilance over your own public behaviours

distrust in your friends because they might turn on you if you ever did something they considered "problematic"

fear that something you enjoy might actually make you a "bad person"

a near-constant state of emotional distress - either anger at what others in fandom are doing, moral outrage that is being harnessed towards harassment, shame over your own thoughts and feelings...

a need to police your own thoughts to ensure you aren't accidentally shipping something "wrong" or liking an "abusive" character etc.

constantly shifting goal posts for what is deemed acceptable or cancellable within your own community

constantly changing definitions of terms to suit the agenda of the loudest person in the room

immense pressure to abandon people you are close to if they are deemed unsuitable by rest of the group

feeling like you're surrounded by literal child abusers with nowhere to turn that's safe

If that doesn't sound physically, emotionally, and mentally draining then I don't know what does. Anger and outrage can be like a burst of adrenaline, but the thing is: anger and outrage, like adrenaline, don't last forever and when they run out you feel empty and burnt out.

So why do people go down this route? That's a great question, and I don't know the answer. There are probably various reasons, depending on who you ask and that person's particular background, but a lot of it seems to centre on the idea of control.

Controlling yourself. Controlling the people around you. Controlling strangers. Controlling the internet. Only one of these is possible, and if you don't know which one then take a second and try again.

It's not entirely shocking that a very controlling thought pattern is gaining in noise, if not popularity, right now. We're still in a global pandemic. There's political and economic uncertainty everywhere. Violence and discrimination are at extremely high levels. It feels like the world is going to shit sometimes, and like everything is out of control. And if you're a teenager, you have even less control over your life than the rest of us do.

I don't like the behaviours of 'antis' and I don't share their beliefs. But I do feel badly for them. I hope they find healthier ways to gain a feeling of control, and I hope they get some rest.

[thewickling]

Back when I was a teenager and saw these anti-sentiments gain large scale popularity on Tumblr, part of the reason that these posts appealed was that they seemed sensible. I never quite became an anti, but I was sympathetic at a lot of points.

A lot of what is said feels like common sense on the face of it which makes it so easy to accept. It starts with a sentiment ('rpfs can be uncomfy', 'there's a lot of racism in fic', 'the power dynamics of mentor/mentee relationships have power dynamic issues' or etc.) that's relatable or sounds reasonable. These aren't outrageous beliefs to have.

A lot of it also points to an oversaturation of one flavor of fanwork. Plus the frustration that rises from there being one dominate narrative that makes one uncomfortable.

What comes after is usually phrased as a way to better yourself. You're asked to think more critically about what fanworks you engage with. Notice the trends, see if you agree.

Then the line moves. It's not enough to stop be more critical, you also stop supporting these kinds of tropes or fix fandom by creating only what's acceptable. It's phrased as a challenge to better yourself. Who doesn't want to become a better person?

The line never stops moving. It's following one seemingly sensible conclusion after another until you end up at "all age gaps are abuse" or some other extreme view. Step by step you're convinced of one point after another until before you know it you've build a valid feeling or a sentiment into a strong belief in something to the point where anyone doesn't agree with that belief is supporting or defending something unforgivable.

It's an gradual acclimation to an extreme mindset. That gets reinforced by natural and enjoyable experience of 'improving' yourself or gaining acceptance by following community norms. By the nature of the community, it doesn't accept people who don't align with its beliefs so it encourages you to distance yourself from people without the same beliefs until you end up in an echo chamber.

At that point, people double down in order to maintain the feeling of acceptance or sense that they're a 'good person. Otherwise they have to risk starting over because their community won't accept them if they don't outwardly maintain that belief.

It's about control yes, but I think that control is often a tool fulfill people's desire for community or acceptance.

[sabertoothwalrus]

while I don’t agree with that referring to men in their 30s-early 40s as “old man yaoi”, I UNDERSTAND why many people who primarily consume honest-to-goodness BL manga are quicker to call it that, because there is just such poor representation for men that aren’t hairless dehydrated 20-something twunks. They’re wrong, but I get why it happens.

I also understand that “middle-aged yaoi” isn’t as fun to say as “old man yaoi”, even when it’s more technically accurate.

So I would like to propose new vocabulary: Grown Ass Yaoi. yaoi that’s grown ass men. they’re not old but they’re not young adults either. you get me? Grown Ass Yaoi

[sabertoothwalrus]

WAIT—

[ao3commentoftheday]

The question posed was something along the lines of, "Aren't you worried that young people who read those stories (about adults/minors) will think that's a good kind of relationship to get into?" It was in reference to this post (which was, itself, referencing this one).

Apologies for not quoting the question directly but I deleted it hours ago.

My genuine answer to this question is: no, I'm not.

I have several reasons for having that opinion, and you're free to disagree with any or all of them.

This got incredibly long so I'm putting it under a cut.

Reason One: Before someone reads stories about adults having sex with minors, they need to first see, in bolded letters, the Archive Warnings on the fic's blurb.

Those warnings will include either Underage or Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings - or both. It might also include the warning Rape/Non-Con. That's before they see any additional tags or read the summary - both of which will likely clue them in to what the contents of the work are.

Reason One (b) If they decide they want to read it anyway, they need to click on a banner saying that they acknowledge that they're about to read a work with adult content.

If they have an account and have permanently dismissed that banner then they've still acknowledged it, but it happened back when they dismissed the banner.

Reason Two: No one reading fanfic on AO3 is visiting that site as their first activity on this planet. They are not seeing this story in a vacuum.

Reason Two (b) Every culture that I'm aware of has a taboo against incest. It has a taboo against adults sexually abusing children. These are universally seen as bad things that no one should do. Even if the story is "super hot" or whatever, it has a lot to compete with to make it seem in any way "normal" or "good."

Reason Three: Beyond all of that, I also think that teenagers have intelligence. I think they can read a story and maybe even find it sexy and it won't actually turn them into something they're not.

Reason Three (b) You know why? Because when I was a teenager I was super into incest fics. I got off on them super hard. I'd read about a dad and his teenage daughter fucking nasty and it made me horny. I did this while being a teenager and living in my home with my own father and having ZERO desire for him.

Reason Three (c) Because the stories weren't about that for me. They were about a young woman who found a position of power over an older man by seducing him. Or they were about a young woman being desired despite the fact that she was "off limits". They were about being wanted, being romanced, being given pleasure.

It was the wrongness of it that I found sexy, and while I don't read those stories anymore I still find it fascinating to explore other kinds of kinks in fiction.

(Sidenote here that they were also written better than any other smutty stories that I'd found at that point? so that was likely part of it too. This was long before AO3 existed.)

Reason Four: And those other kinks all stay in fiction and never enter my real life beyond making me feel excited.

Reason Four (b) These days I'll read D/s or humiliation kink or sexual free use or cuck or whatever the fuck else sounds interesting when I read the blurb, and I'll do all of that while fucking absolutely no one but myself. Because I'm also aro/ace. Reading about sex is 10000% hotter than actually doing it myself.

Reason Five The last reason why I'm not worried is actually the best one. I'm not responsible for hypothetical young person's life and choices. That hypothetical young person is as fictional as the stories we're talking about because that's what hypothetical means.

Reason Five (b) Even if we're talking about an actual person, like say you have a 14 year old third cousin that you're worried about. That 14 year old is still not my responsibility because I'm not in their life. You are.

Reason Five (c) If you're worried about your third cousin reading those stories and then seeking out that kind of relationship, then have a conversation with them. Be a resource for them when they have questions about sex and relationships. Share your own knowledge and experience with them so they don't have to try to figure it all out on their own.

-----

I'm about to post this and I thought of

Reason Six: Even if an adult used stories on Ao3 as a means of convincing a child to get into a scenario where they could abuse them, I don't blame the story. I blame the person who used the story.

Reason Six (b) Because if it wasn't that story, it'd be the kid's favourite movie. Or some toy that they wanted. Or a million other things that abusers have been using for centuries longer than either the internet in general or AO3 in particular have existed.

Okay, I think that might be it?

[thewickling]

Also these taboos in erotic stories are nothing new. These stories existed in 1980s, 1990s, 2000s, etc as much as they exist in 2025. The ease of access may have shifted, which taboos are more common may change with the times, but pretty much every generation in recent history has grown up with incest, teacher/student, etc and other erotic content available and it hasn't caused an epidemic of [insert taboo].

[ao3org]

To improve account security, AO3 has updated our password change process to prevent users from choosing passwords that are known to be compromised on other sites. To learn more about how to protect your account, check out: otw-news.org/y8jnay3v

Posted: 21:35 UTC August 19, 2025

[yhane]

Treasure

[brainwormsoop]

one totally random thing i love about dropout and game changer specifically is they really accurately display the amount of hours and work and people go into making television shows - like they'll openly talk about the difficulties with licensing music and the amount of art that has to be produced for even the smallest things and how much love and care goes into marketing and camerawork and editing and all these other things that other people will happily sweep under the rug it's just really nice to see

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Being a youtube channel is still deep in their bones

[lobtwo]

It's him it's the guy

[liprik0n]

peak of design

[cilorine]

i know riiight, who even drew this anyway? 😤

(i love zoey sm!! she stole my heart and ran with it)

[junkokiu]

My soul would be gone so fast lmao 💍🧎

[giadin-a]

Saja Boys

[xnighten]

[yg-arts]

[hanavbara]

kpop demon hunters as anime 🎶✨

[cinnabaexoxo]

Everyone on Earth needs to see this. It's vital.

[danicloth]

I loved them so much! 😭✨

They are so relatable like omg… and the songs and the fights 🔥