So many fandoms, so little time

She/Her | Queer | occasionally NSFW | Multifandom | Feasting on all the queer media coming from Thailand, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and China (BL/GL/QL shows) | BTS (and other kpop) | occasional tennis, figure skating, and hockey | Most posts are queued

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[invisible-goats]

it's so fun for me every time this appears on my dash because not only did i walk past it irl several times, it's on what is widely considered the busiest bus route in europe

[lionofchaeronea]

I welcome all my bussexual and trainsgender friends.

(Sorry--couldn't resist.)

[fractally]

It must be so crazy for the Centaurs players the emotional whiplash between chirping Hollanov for their lovey dovey antics and them going along with it and then Ilya or Shane randomly dropping the saddest fucking thing you've ever heard.

Ilya's getting chirped for constantly spamming the group chat with photos of them and someone say they must have a dozen photo albums at home and Shane's like, "Well we don't have any photos from before 2021"

Or one of the rookies is debating how much they like some girl and Shane walks by and off-handedly advises, "You shouldn't sleep with anyone unless you're 100% sure you're into it, trust me on this one"

They're also insanely good at charades because their non-verbal communication is uncanny and finally Ilya's like, "well yes, we could not speak in public for a very long time"

[the-magical-musical-mandalorian]

2009 draft was insane for fictional hockey

[weterpete]

Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches

[spookyscarysnails]

[purr-in-ink]

[tossawary]

When I first read "Check Please!" years and years ago, I knew way less about pro hockey than I do now. It was never surprising to me that some of the fandom went nuts for Kent Parson despite the fact that Parson is barely in the comic (and that there was significant fandom backlash both to him and to people who liked him, I know, which I'm not really getting into here, sorry), because he's 1) basically the closest thing that the series had to a villainous character for a long time, a haunting source of tension in the main romance, 2) pretty, 3) angsty, and 4) he never really got... a satisfying plotline in the end? Altogether, he's basically fandom bait.

Stepping away from Parson for a moment: I'm still quite fond of OMGCP, but a large part of that fondness is towards select parts of the fandom and the fanworks. OMGCP is actually quite short, its entries are quite limited, and so a LOT is done through offscreen events and implications. I enjoy some parts of this ambiguous design, some things remain mysteries in life, and I find some of these open-ended aspects disappointing.

In my opinion, one of the things that initially made OMGCP so rich for fandom is that it brought up a LOT of really complicated, compelling ideas and then only skimmed the surface of them, which tends to send fans into headcanon and fanfiction overdrive regarding all these missing scenes. Curiosity and dissatisfaction can be huge fandom drivers. (Note: the fandom at large was also occasionally a fucking nightmare in many respects, so I understand and respect the author ultimately unfortunately backing away from dealing with some shit.)

OMGCP references substance abuse, mental illness, internalized homophobia, closeted relationships, toxic masculinity, toxic friendships and rivalries, the pressures of celebrity and legacy, the pressures of professional sports, the toxicity of media, misogyny and racism and homophobia in sports, homophobia from your own parents, injury and disability, the classism and privilege involved in attending college and playing professional sports, all the scandals and issues specific to the fucking tar pit that is the NHL, and so on, without... really delving into it or just how ugly any of this complicated stuff can get.

Any potential tangles in the characters' lives mostly just work themselves out. OMGCP instead ultimately chooses to focus mostly on light humor and feel-good romance. Sure. Fair enough. It's cute.

An example: Jack had a very serious anti-anxiety medication overdose, but by the time we meet him, he's already been through rehab and therapy. Drug use and addiction (whether for pleasure or painkiller reasons or both) are common among athletes, and it can start young, especially in juniors hockey or college, places not known for responsible, risk-aware drug use. But if substance abuse was ever part of Jack's issues, we never really get to see any of those personal recovery struggles from him or even him reacting seriously to anyone else risking alcohol poisoning.

Other examples: hockey is a reeeeally expensive, reeeeally white sport. Ransom, Nursey, and Chowder (and Lardo) must be dealing with racism, it's referenced, but the characters never really seriously contend with it. Dex is supposedly from a working class family, Bitty is on a scholarship and is threatened with losing it, but money never seriously interrupts anything. No one ever gets injured out of sports. Jack and Bitty ultimately have supportive parents, despite those parents being heavily involved in toxic sports environments, and Jack has a supportive employer, so neither of them have to lose loved ones or careers when they come out individually or as a couple.

And OMGCP is a feel-good fantasy comic telling a limited story, ultimately, so it's not surprising that it chooses not to engage at length with some of the uglier elements of life. Serial fiction updating as it's made comes with a whole host of issues. I also totally respect a creator just being done with a story and wanting to close it off for various reasons. But the end result is a little disappointing if you were personally hoping that the comic would actually delve deeper into some of the complicated and compelling topics it hints at, especially with its minor characters.

Which brings me back to Kent Parson. I guess my point in the above bit is that interpretation and personal headcanon was always a huge part of OMGCP and its fandom, with or without Parson, from the beginning. Now that I know a lot more about hockey and pro sports generally, it's really, REALLY not surprising that some people went nuts for him despite his incredibly limited appearances, because besides maybe Jack himself, Kent Parson is BY FAR one of the most compelling character concepts in the comic.

Like, okay, if kids want to play pro sports, they're often living away from home at some special academy or billeting with another family by their early teens. And these junior leagues can be RANCID environments in terms of bigotry and mental health and even physical health. Hazing and drug abuse and sexual abuse is way too common. If any kid is genuinely talented, they'd BETTER for their sake have a responsible, savvy adult in their life protecting them from everyone who wants to turn them into another money-making asset, who will encourage them to just... ruin their bodies and their mental health and their lives.

So, there's this USAmerican kid named Kent Parson who is really fucking good at hockey, so good that by the time he's a teenager he's playing away from home in Quebec. He's gay in a famously homophobic sport. At some point, he gets paired up with Jack Zimmermann, an up-and-coming Canadian prince of hockey, the next Next One, the son of a famously talented hockey player and Stanley Cup champion Bad Bob. If Kent's billeting with Bob and Alicia, he possibly lived with them for YEARS.

Jack and Kent are friends. They're rivals. They're teammates. They're partners. They're soulmates. They're secret lovers. They're both celebrities before they're 17 and drafted, media is swarming them at every juniors game, and probably both already have sponsorship deals. They're winning like they're never going to stop, and there's no way underage drinking isn't going on, and that's fine because "boys will be boys." They're being told by coaches that all of their nasty, aggressive edges make them better athletes and competitors, probably. Everyone knows they're going to go first and second overall in the draft, and no one can EVER know they're gay because their careers will be over before they've even started and that's EVERYTHING.

And then teenage Kent Parson's secret boyfriend nearly dies due to a drug overdose directly before the draft. And it's maybe even Kent who finds him and has to call for help. It might be Kent Parson who saved Jack's life.

But Kent still has to go to the draft because... that's his future? He doesn't know what else to do, probably. And HE goes first overall at one of the NHL's big spectacle events of the year, dozens of camera trained on him constantly, while all everyone wants to talk about is Jack's scandal: is Jack going to die, does Jack have a drug problem, does KENT have a drug problem too, did Kent SABOTAGE his friend to go first overall, are the Las Vegas Aces disappointed by getting their second choice instead???

And obviously Jack's parents have to focus on Jack right now instead of Kent, who is not actually their kid.

And afterwards, Jack doesn't die but he doesn't want to talk to Kent, and there's no way either of them knows how to handle this responsibly or in a healthy manner. And Kent goes to Las Vegas while Jack stays in Quebec, leaving Kent to wonder if it was at all HIS fault for putting even more pressure on Jack with their rivalry and secret relationship, for not noticing Jack's issues sooner and taking them seriously. If Kent actually wants to be a better person (and let's remember, he's probably like 17 or 18 here), then he almost certainly doesn't know HOW to be better person.

And teenage Kent is expected to be the face of the franchise and lead an NHL team to victory (despite the fact that everyone knows he's NOT the one that they originally wanted), and he DOES, he becomes captain WAY too young 1OA-style and wins a bunch of trophies, and he even wins the Stanley Cup, which is supposed to be everything he's ever wanted but also Jack STILL won't talk to him. (Does Kent still talk to Bob and Alicia??? Unclear!) And Kent is STILL a closeted gay man in the homophobic NHL, one of its celebrity faces, and basically couldn't date anyone even if he wanted to, because he probably gets photographed by random people ALL the time. And also toxic masculinity says that pro athletes do NOT go to therapy.

And also the media probably STILL asks him about Jack regularly, because they're bloodthirsty like that.

And while Jack is going to college instead, he gets together with a teammate who looks a lot like Kent, but is nicer and sweeter and apparently more palatable than Kent is? And is also apparently, like, the male version of the perfect, blonde homemaker / social media influencer that so many hockey players choose to marry. And then Jack kisses this apparent Kent replacement on the ice in front of EVERYONE after winning the Stanley Cup???

Fuck! FUCK!!! That's wild! That's a crazy situation to be in emotionally! That's an incredibly juicy narrative and it's all just going on in the BACKGROUND of OMGCP. I get why people would push the more wholesome main romance out of the way and say, "Talk to me about the deliciously problematic storyline happening back THERE."

Like, yes, it IS totally reasonable to, say, point out that fandoms almost always unreasonably favor white men, especially privileged and conventionally attractive "bad boy" characters, even when they're barely in a story at all. Jack and Bitty are also white men, but in this case, I'm referring to people choosing to focus fanworks on Kent Parson instead of, for example, far more prominent minor characters like Ransom or Nursey or Chowder or Lardo.

But Kent Parson is also one of those cases where I'm like, "Yes, but through inference, we arguably know just as much information about Kent Parson as we do some of these other supporting characters. Also, you must understand, if you follow the NHL at all and understand how the sports entertainment industry works, everything about Kent Parson's career path is NUTS. The NHL is CRAZY about their 1OAs, and if one of them (a legacy Next One of THAT pedigree) had a drug overdose and got replaced by this other kid who shortly became captain of an expansion team and won a dozen trophies including the Stanley Cup, the hockey media would NEVER stop talking about it. If Kent Parson was real, he'd be Sidney Crosby levels of famous, and people would write angry clickbait articles every year about how Kent Parson (a filthy USAmerican) sabotaging (good Canadian boy) Jack Zimmermann's draft is the reason why the Montreal Canadiens and/or Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup again yet (because OBVIOUSLY Jack would have come to play for the Habs or the Leafs eventually, the articles suggest, and therefore Canada wouldn't be in this embarassing, unacceptable position of not having won a Stanley Cup since the 90s). If Kent Parson was a real person, his narratives would drive the Men's Hockey RPF shippers up the fucking walls, and people would right now be filing the serial numbers off of their RPF romance novels starring Kent Parson* to turn into original fiction booktok bestsellers that probably later get adapted into television shows streaming on Crave."

*I am aware that people have filed the serial numbers off and published their OMGCP fanfiction starring Kent Parson. What I'm saying here is that if he was real, it would be even MORE of a thing.

Kent Parson is one of the most interesting, haunting character concepts in the comic. The more you know about the machine that is the NHL (or any pro sports league), the clearer it is that this a complicated guy in a real fucking Situation here. And it sucks that the backlash against him apparently prevented his storyline from ever getting a satisfying resolution. Kent Parson as an element just fades out.

[generalghosty]

I'll keep my expectations low, but I really hope Parse's perspective is explored more in the TV adaptation.

Jack's overdose was not the fault of– nor could it have been prevented by– his seventeen-year-old-boyfriend. Parse alternating between pitying Jack and victim-blaming him for the overdose absolutely tracks with the maladaptive thought processes typical of people dealing with unresolved trauma from the near-death (and in this case, potential suicide attempt) of a loved one. Not to mention, he couldn't even get closure about it, because Jack ghosted him afterward, and given the culture of the NHL, it's unlikely he's ever discussed it with a therapist. Was Parse still in the wrong at Epikegster? Absolutely, 100%. But he's not a monster, and I'm glad archival readers seem to understand that. He's just an example of what the toxic masculinity and homophobic culture of men's hockey can do to a gay person with unresolved trauma, which is the main motif of Check Please, and I imagine that's why Parse was included in the first place.

[unrealcosima]

Enemies with Benefits once again reminding us that the protagonists are over 30

[fashion-runways]

ZUHAIR MURAD Bridal Collection Spring/Summer 2026 pls help me get out of debt donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways or dinahlance-shop.fourthwall.com

[felysha]

Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who was murdered on the first day of Pride month as well as Indigenous History Month. He died protecting his trans husband. Homophobia and racism aren’t marks of the past, and this is a heart breaking reminder of that.

Praying for a safe journey back to the spirit world, Uncle ❤️‍🩹🦅

[felysha]

Today is the anniversary of the death of Jonathan Joss (King of the Hill, Parks and Rec). Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who died protecting his transgender husband, on the first day of Pride month. Today we remember him and how he protected his family.

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[animentality]

[booksandchainmail]

#WHAT a fucking read of the manic pixie dream girl#I want this desperately actually???#perfect quirky enigmatic mystery girl who has all the traits you don't but long for#and lives life with extreme confidence and whimsy doing whatever she truly wants#and she's the future you can have!! she's here because she loves you! she wants you to be happy!#she hated being you so she knows how much you hate being yourself but she's here to prove to you#that there is a joy you can attain#there is a self you will love (tags via @aethersea)

[itshype]

"the tuna meltdownTM would have ended with them being exclusive if Ilya had only been straightforward with Shane." WRONG. unironically the best way for Ilya to sneak Shane into being exclusive would be like "hey going no condoms would be hot, yes. 😄 but not safe. 🙁 but wHAT IF we both got tested and then didn't sleep with other people when we're apart??? good idea because then we can fuck raw?! safely!"

and then he waits and brings up the "actually I'm not sleeping with other people because i'm not interested in doing that" later, once Shane has acclimatized like a frog.

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

”Hollander. Hollanderrr. Holllaannderrr.” Rozanov drew out the name longer each time, demanding attentions. Shane finally snapped his eyes up to meet Rozanov’s.

“What.”

“Health testing for Boston was one two weeks ago.” Rozanov had his eyebrows raised like this was supposed to mean something. It did not.

“Okay?”

“I got my STI results.”

Shane stilled beneath Rozanov.

Rozanov felt it and rubbed a deft hand up Shane’s bare side. “I’m completely clean.”

Shane relaxed at that but his anxiety was quickly replaced with confusion. Why was Rozanov saying this? “Good for you.”

Rozanov lips curled up like they did when Shane did something boring. Shane frowned.

“Are you clean? Do you know?” Rozanov prompted.

Oh.

“Uh, yeah. I am.”

Shane can’t remember the last time he got tested but it didn’t matter. He knew how many sexual partners he’d had since (one) and (now) he knew that man’s status (completely clean).

“Why?” Shane ventured.

“I have been thinking, about…” Rozanov thumbed at the lube resting by Shane’s head. “Maybe only using this. Not…” he met Shane’s eyes and Shane folded like a house of cards. Whatever he was about to say, he was getting. “Maybe not using a condom this time.”

Oh fuck

-

Shane couldn’t move for 4 minutes after he came. It was about 6 more before Rozanov gained enough strength to pull himself off of Shane’s chest.

“Hollander,” Rozanov’s voice was breathy and plan-less. Then, “I’m getting rid of all my condoms.”

Shane let out a huffed disproving laugh. It was all he had strength for.

Rozanov’s arm was swung around his own head, and his hand played mercilessly with his ear. “We could stop using them. But…”

Shane frowned. “What?”

“We would both have to stop hooking up with other people.”

Shane didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t hooking up with other people.

Rozanov soldiered on. “It would be worth it for me. Would it be worth it for you?” A pause. “Do you want to?”

Did Shane want Rozanov to stop hooking up with anyone else just so he could ride Shane bareback roughly six times a year? It was shameful how much the answer was yes.

“Yeah okay let’s do it.” Shane said, calm out of sheer force of will.

Rozanov didn’t reply, he just swung around to shove his tongue into Shane’s mouth with the force of a thousands suns and didn’t pull away until he’d soaked up every noise he could draw out of Shane.

I guess this means they were exclusive now.

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Shane sat at Rozanov’s counter as they made food. They’d been doing more than just fucking for a while now. Rozanov feeding him between rounds, Shane washing Rozanov’s clothes before sending him back in the morning.

“Pass me the mayo, Shane.”

Shane moved to reach down the counter. Then the rest of the sentence processed and ice dumped down his spine. “What did you just call me?”

Rozanov’s jaw flapped a few times. Then he giggled like the world hadn’t just shifted on its axis. He laughed like Shane was being silly. “Slip of the tongue.” He shrugged. “But really, I haven’t fucked anyone else for a year and a half. And I haven’t wanted to fuck anyone else even longer. Do I really have to exclusively call you by your last name at this point?” Then, as if planning for the case that that was what Shane wanted, Rozanov grinned and leaned over the counter to peck Shane’s lips. “Last names are hot, though.”

Shane didn’t allow his brain to shatter. He took the pieces trying to fall out his ears and shoved them back in. What Rozanov said made sense.

What? Were they expecting to just call each other their last names for the rest of their lives?

“You can call me Shane.” Then, with more bravery than Shane felt. “Ilya.”

Ilya’s smile was Cheshire. “So are you going to pass me the mayonnaise or…”

“Oh. Fuck.” Shane tossed it over.

-

It was only that night, lying next to Ilya, with traces of cum and first names on Shane’s lips did it occur to him what Ilya had said.

And I haven’t wanted to fuck anyone else even longer.

And what he himself had fallen into thinking

What were they expecting to just call each other their last names for the rest of their lives?

Shane felt like panicking, Ilya had wanted him, only him, for years? He shouldn’t have said yes to this. What was he thinking? The idea of the rest of their lives?

But, it was too late to change anything now, right? He couldn’t leave. That would be weird. Besides, his clothes were still tumbling in the dryer down the hall—to be put on in the morning only after breakfast. He couldn’t leave.

And if he was really being honest with himself: he didn’t want to.

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

They were basically dating, if Ilya was being honest with himself. The All-Star game had been a blast, they had fucked and played and won a bunch of hockey related games. They texted almost everyday now, well versed in eachother's lives. So it didn't suprise him when he saw a missed call from Jane on his phone after leaving to moscow. What did suprise him was how emotionally open Shane was willing to be with him about his father dying.

Ilya wasn't going to take more time in moscow, but Shane had suggested it because he cared. He'd talked to ilya about his past and furture while they got eachother off on the phone. He'd called Ilya hansome. He didn't do that very often. and when he was breaking, Ilya had Shane to call. And Shane had listened to his rant in Russian without complaint. Ilya had spilled his fears and dreams and his love. One day he hoped maybe Shane could feel free enough to love someone. He knew for now, that wasn't the case.

This felt like something at least. Shane cared, he listened. Maybe, not aloud to himself, but in his heart, maybe there he loved too.

- Shane wins the game against Boston. Shane goes on to win the cup. Ilya can't go back to Russia after what he said to his brother. Ilya stays in boston. That summer, once the play offs are done and dusted; Scott Hunter comes out on instagram. Ilya recieves a text that makes his heart jump into his chest. "Will you come to my cottage this summer?"

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Ilya stepped into the cottage, taking in the walls he's watched Shane show off dozens of times before. Except this time Shane is real and not a YouTube video. He'd said yes to this immediately, but actually being here felt daunting. "So... what do, do you want to do?" Ilya stuttered, kicking his shoes further out of the way at a loss for what else he could do with his body. But then Shane was smiling at him, and the stone pillar was cold against Ilya's back, and he didn't have to think about how to use his body anymore. - it turns out most of Ilya's nerves were unnecessary, they'd gotten used to spending time together. Shane made them food, they gleefully fucked on every surface available, Ilya shoved Shane into the lake just to be an ass. it was perfect.

Well almost, except for three words burning on Ilya's tongue that he absolutely could. not. say. -

"Canada is fun!" Shane's arm is around him as they stare into the fire. "Shut up!" Shane's phone buzzes, he ignores it. It doesn't matter who texted, right now Ilya and Shane belong only to each other. "Shane, this is boring." Ilya undermines his words by snuggling closer. "You bought like 17 kilos of groceries and not a single marshmallow?" "Marshmallows are gross." "You take that back!" "Nev-" Ilya flinched deep into Shane's side as a wolf howl cut through the night. - "Oh, so now you speak bird, too?" Ilya snipped, incensed. A smile splits Shane's face, laughing at Ilya's suffering. "Fluent." Ilya shoved Shane's head lightly, curling around his lover. "I hate you." A beat. The same wide smile. "I love you."

[nongsun]

i just... haven't seen you smile in a long time.

Fourth Nattawat & Gemini Norawit in TICKET TO HEAVEN (dir. Aof Noppharnach) and MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (dir. Au Kornprom)

[giveemhales]

I am a big defender of Shane not wanting to come out and one of the biggest reasons that I haven’t seen discussed much is how much worse it is to come out as a Gay Asian Bottom compared to coming out as a bisexual (white) man who is already regarded as a sex machine. Like Asian men are already overly feminized in the west. Shane’s general demeanor is subdued, he doesn’t drink or party often, and he abides by strict rules and a diet that already makes him an outsider. He doesn’t sleep around and has only has one public relationship with a woman under his belt, which ended very quickly. He’s the exact opposite of Ilya in all these ways and it puts him at a disadvantage. He has a “soft” image he spends his whole life actively opposing. His image is working against him; him being gay contributes to it and worsens it. Ilya’s image is working in his favor; being with a man is an anomaly OR further proof of his sexual prowess. And bc of Ilya’s well known history of sleeping around and generally aggressive attitude, it will be assumed he would be the top. Through a heteronormative lens, which is obviously the norm in hockey, that makes him the “man” in the relationship. If anything, his ability to “dominate” another man may bolster his image, make him even more of an “alpha male”. But being a bottom is seen as inherently demeaning and effeminate, thanks to misogyny, homophobia, and rape culture. The less bulky, quiet, shy man with a shocking lack of experience with woman is obviously the bottom (and this is even worse if they have the height and body differences canon to the books). Shane will be seen as weaker (and what could be worse than that in a contact sport like hockey). He’ll be viewed as the “woman” in the relationship, which is to say he will be viewed as inherently inferior. And draws further attention to the parts of him he’s tried to hide (aka autism symptoms) which will now be treated as further evidence of his sensitivity and otherness. Everything he does now is gay. But being with Shane is the only gay thing Ilya does. Without the threat of Russia, Shane has far more to lose from coming out imo. And his team’s reaction proves that. He deserves some grace.

[sherrymagic]

GIRL RULES FINAL EP. FAN MEETING

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of rose giving shane a weighted blanket as a gift and it soon becoming ilya's Number One Enemy in their house

at first it was just because it was a gift from rose, but now??? shane is cuddling up under The Mistress? ("ilya, it is a fucking blanket-") shane does not need to ask ilya to lay on top of him because he would rather be beneath The Mistress? ("ilya, for FUCK'S sake, you weren't even home-") maybe shane doesn't even need him anymore. maybe The Mistress can learn to suck his co- ("i'm going to bed. you can join me or you can keep glaring at a FUCKING BLANKET")

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and i'm cackling about this arrangement being referred to as a threesome as a joke, which is all well and good until someone is reading over ilya's shoulder one day and sees shane send the message, "today has fucking sucked. can we have a threesome when you get home, please?" and is just ???? hello???? what?? the fuck??? are y'all just out here casually having threesomes on a tuesday??? that hollander asks for wiTH A PLEASE??? WHO IS INVOLVED ONTHIS THREESOME FOR IT TO BE HAPPENING ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE????

[penandinkprincess]

not helping this is that ilya responds with, "yes of course ♥️. do you think your mistress can take care of you in the meantime? just this once she can have you to herself."

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

[penandinkprincess]

this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

shane receives five more weighted blankets.

[shanyshko]

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

[catmaniita]