Hey! Iâm attempting to create a soulbond/willogenic headmate. Iâve been trying for about a month or two without much progress. Do you have any advice?
Hihi!! Itâs different for everybody, so I canât say any advice I have for you will work, or maybe Iâll just sound like a broken record with advice youâve heard before, but Iâll try anyway!
What worked for us was talking with each other. This worked especially well when we were tired, because when weâre tired, we donât mask as well and therefore itâs easier to do things that are âweird.â My first willomate was Mari, a caregiver, so I would often imagine her telling me to go to bed or eat something, and I would also walk her through what I was doing while I was caring for myself!
Talking helps a lot. It will feel like roleplayâ even when theyâre formed, if your system is monoconcious like ours, it may still feel like roleplay. The important thing is to acknowledge that they exist. Even when theyâre forming, even when they donât have a consciousness of their own yet, even when they just feel like a âpuppet,â they still exist.
You donât have to talk to them every day for them to exist. They donât have to front to exist. They donât have to speak to be with you in front, if you feel them without them speaking, that counts too!
Act like them sometimes, too. Online, make posts âactingâ like them, think how you believe they would, eat things they like but you donât, pick up a hobby they like even if youâre not too interested in it; convince yourself itâs them, not you. If you have discord, find an endogenic safe space, make a pk proxy for them, talk to others as them and allow them to make friends and have conversations. Especially conversations you wouldnât typically have! If it fits them, give them a typing quirk, because that helps you âget into the mindsetâ of another person!
If youâre in an environment you canât really let them front, if itâs possible, let them front when youâre alone. At night when everybodyâs asleep, let them guide you through your nighttime routine, choose the video or book you use to wind down, something like that.
Another tip Iâve heard, if youâre worried they may disappearâ give them something in the physical world that is separate from you, something ground and connect them! Give them friends, communities, maybe a favorite object like a stuffed animal or a favorite activity that you donât share. Allow them to exist separate from you and have connections to this world that you donât.
And above allâ any progress is progress. Even if itâs so subtle it feels like nothing, even a mountain can be made up of a lot of smaller rocks, even a huge pile of sand is just thousands of tiny grains. It doesnât happen overnight, and even if they feel more like an âimaginary friendâ than a separately conscious headmate, theyâre still a headmate, and they still exist.
