the wonders of overthinking

| the wondering lady is a frustrated writer | here lies her unsaid words and thoughts | 

[poems-and-word]

[buttonpoetry]

“I’m good at making people feel good because I have had a lot of practice on myself. Practice on myself because I feel sad a lot.”

— Sabrina Benaim, from Depression & Other Magic Tricks

[poems-and-word]

[wnq-writers]

““Nobody is able to forget someone who once was so important. You just get used to that someone not being around anymore.””

— Kathy B.

[wnq-writers]

“To the person that loves me next, I’m sorry if I am broken. I am sorry if I question the love that you give because so many before you have taken my love and thrown it away like common trash. To the person who loves me next. I am sorry if I don’t believe you, like when you tell me I am beautiful. Know, that I have heard these words a million times before and yet here I am still alone. I apologize for the walls that stand 40 feet high, I am sorry that you have to climb them. The people before you took too many pieces of me. The walls? They protect the remaining parts of me. To the person who can love me next, please just love me. As I am. Ignore my flaws, just love me”

— The book she will never write

[thewonderinglady]

You deserve better, darling girl.

You don’t have to stay in a place where you feel you don’t belong. No, you don’t need to push yourself to someone just so he can value you. Be firm. Be strong. Have the courage to know your worth and walk away when you must.

Life is hard already, therefore, love shouldn’t be

 -ACS

[thewonderinglady]

Tonight I prayed to have a heart that does not envy,

but one that realizes our luck will always vary.

To be thankful although challenges are plenty ❤️

-ACS-

[thewonderinglady]

Chatty Cheerful Persons

People are pre-conditioned to believe that the chatty cheerful persons never get depressed.

But they do. In fact, they get depressed more often than you think.

You see, on most days sad people eventually get tired of being sad that they had no choice but to put smile on their faces and pretend maybe for once everything is going to be all right.

But things do not always turn out alright. Failure. Fear. Mistakes. Bad days get ahead of themselves and so they go back to their cocoon of anxiety and sad thoughts.

So maybe you have a chatty cheerful person you hang around with in school, and she makes everyone around her feel good- have you ever thought how she learned to do that?

That’s because she had lots of practice with herself. Practiced what she would like to hear, practiced what felt good in her thoughts and practiced the art of concealing how she felt so she could try to shed a tiny light to the gloomy pit she put herself into. Those series of practices then radiates when she interacts with others.

And so the chatty cheerful person never seem to complain on how awful things could be.

But her mind is actually swimming in what-could-have and what-should-have’s

So when everything goes wrong, remember that chatty cheerful person managed to calm herself by reminding her that everything is going to be okay.

Even for a split second maybe there is a silver-lining for every cloud of mishaps.

The chatty cheerful person could be anyone and everyone.

Know that even if no one notices, acknowledge that you notice it. That darling, you have a choice to be a chatty cheerful person that you really are despite all the odds, and maybe, just maybe, everything will finally turn out okay.

[wordsnquotes]

agathist

(noun) from the Greek ἀγαθός agathos (good) is, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, an agathist is characterized as a person who believes that all things tend towards ultimate good. Although agathists are aware that unfair occurrences also happen in life, they believe their outcome will be good. (via wordsnquotes)

[thewonderinglady]

I love the orange hue of the sky, when another day passes by. Its the time of the day, I find myself wanting to know why I keep giving you a love- you deny.

[eli0tknight-deactivated20181203]

People saw me strong, they saw me sane, but I was insane under pretence, and little things broke me easily.

Eliot Knight (via eli0tknight)

[eli0tknight-deactivated20181203]

Courage isn’t a trait of a lion, it is a trait of the lamb that goes out each day despite the lion it knows lies in wait.

Eliot Knight (via eli0tknight)

[quotethat]

You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.

Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult to Love (via quotethat)

[wnq-writers]

I’ve realised how delicate the mind is. Take care of it, be kind to it. Be careful what you feed it. The constant negativity you feed your mind will one day change you. Years or even months later, you’re unable to recognise yourself. It’s frightening.

KC (via wnq-writers)

[wnq-writers]

I am so tired. I am so tired. Of this weary heart, I hold inside of my chest every single day. My soul is filled with ecstasy but my heart remains an everlasting museum of moments that should no longer matter to me. And every day, I hear it quietly whispering to me, knocking on the insides of my being, softly, softly. It wants to know if I am ready, if I am ready now. And I hear the innocence - the understanding in its voice. My heart knows. Every night I hear it silently drowning in cascades of tears, of mourning, of hope for something better. Finally, something better. And every day when my heart asks me, softly, softly… my soul tries to find the might to give the right answer. And for all its power, its courage, its love, and passion, and wisdom, my soul cannot fix my heart. I am not scared. Pain does not scare me. My heart will not be broken forever. I am just tired. I am just tired, for my heart - my heart sees you, and you only.

vellichxxr  (via wnq-writers)

[thewonderinglady]

This is why I will love you

Do not expect me to write materialistic reasons, better yet, do not expect me to write reasons at all.

I will love you for all that you are. That’s for sure.

I will love you for your ambitions, aspirations and dreams; for your quirks, your flaws and your faults.

The moment I decide to be with you, will be the day that I strip off my inhibitions.

I have built my walls so high for so long, fear wrapped around my heart- but now my guards are down.

Nothing enthralls me more than knowing you better.

You tell me your secrets. I will tell you mine.

My past will just be my past and your past will be your past.

Bearing in mind that whoever you are today, I owe to your past.

If it made you better- that’s all I can ask.

If it made you worst, I’d like to believe we still have time to do better

And if by chance, you have doubts about me,

Never hesitate because I will always find remedies.

While the world swirls in confusion have no fear, we shall conquer it together

I loved you for your brave soul, and how you make mine stronger.

I have loved you for you are compassion and passion blended into one person

I best believe that you deserve nothing but the best.

And darling, that what I will do – be the best for you.

-ACS

[thewonderinglady]

Love-Hate Relationship with Airports

When you have family members working abroad - walking through the airport can only mean either ‘welcome home’ or ‘farewell’.

I grew up with my dad going and being assigned to various naval stations in the country, and my siblings - my sister and my brother are both working in Dubai - so the airport  kind of feels like a frequent spot where my family meets. Its good and bad at the same time, because while it feels great to have them back, you know that 1) they will eventually have to fly back to work, 2) it means having limited time together, and 3) we’ll eventually go back to the airport and say bye-bye.

My siblings have been working in Dubai for more than a decade. Considering the years they spent working there, you would think I probably would have adjusted to the way it feels when they come back home and when they leave. While it is a cycle for my family, I’m afraid I still haven’t gotten used to it-  it makes me ecstatic when they arrive, and awfully sad when they leave. Even if it were the other way around, and I were to visit them instead, it still feels the same. I’ll be giddy when I arrive at the airport and then feel lonely when I leave. And I realize I have always felt this way whenever I am in airports.

It is true, airports do feel like portals. You enter that portal, travel, come back and feel a little bit different. I guess traveling does that, traveling changes you. It can either soothe you or exhaust you. You see places, meet new people and learn fundamental life lessons. The next thing you feel that you’ve changed. A piece of your travel remains with you, and you feel like you left a piece of you during your travel. And you know change sometimes feels like a good thing and a bad thing all at the same time.How change takes time. Some days we welcome change, and sometimes we bid them goodbye, or sometimes we make them return. Sometimes it makes us very happy and sometimes it leaves us lowly and sad. That is love and hate co-existing right before your eyes

That’s how I feel towards airports. And maybe this is just me or if it applies to other people as well - but you will never feel hollow in airports. It always feels like a surge of emotions.