Chapter Fourteen ✘ William
William woke again to a bright white room, the sun’s rays filtering in past drawn curtains and the distant scent of sweat and sex clinging to the sheets surrounding him. His eyes were heavy, like he had been drugged the night before, and as he sluggishly pulled himself from the dream he’d been having, he realized that reality was just as much of a wonderland.
This time, as he rolled to his side and opened his eyes, he found he was not in bed alone.
(It sent a series of butterflies plummeting to the pit of his abdomen and he couldn’t help as a smile tore its way over his lips.)
(He realized, possibly for the first time, if that was possible, that he lived for waking up next to her.)
This time, Noora’s naked back was perfectly silhouetted against the mattress beside him. The sheets pooled around her waist, and she had an arm gently slung over her face atop the pillow, shielding herself from him and the world. By the even rise and fall of her back, William could tell she was still fast asleep.
He stayed still in that moment and watched her like he wished he had ever since he’d been ripped of the opportunity. Those first weeks in London without her had been the hardest. He’d reach out at night to pull her into him only to find that he was alone. Not much in the world gives you a sense of loneliness quite like being abandoned by the one person you’d finally allowed yourself to trust.
So, as William watched her sleep, he made a point to look at her as if this might be the last time. He wasn’t certain it wasn’t the last time. The fact that she was still there was promising, but it didn’t guarantee anything. After all, this was her apartment. In a sense, she was a prisoner in her own home…granted that was only if she wanted to be rid of him. He hoped that wasn’t the case.
He noticed again the way she’d let her hair grow out; it still splayed out behind her head the way it had before when it was shorter, but now it almost touched his pillow. If he scooted closer, it might just barely trace the tip of his nose. Ever so gently, he reached out and traced the line of her spine, his hand disappearing for the briefest of moments beneath the sheets as he reveled in the dimple at the small of her back. Goose bumps smattered across her skin and she shifted so as to gain warmth from somewhere, though William knew she could come up short unless she pulled the sheets back up over her shoulders. When she stilled, he let his fingers hover over each freckle that occupied the canvas of her back and shoulders.
They were perfectly spread out, creating a constellation of beauty on an already perfect being. He’d never tell her this, because it wasn’t anything anyone else needed to know, but he never spent this kind of time appreciating other women. No one drew him into a state of awe like she did.
Noora stirred again and rolled over onto her back, forcing William to retreat just a fraction of an inch. He was graced with a plentiful view of her chest and collarbone. Languidly, like she had all the time in the world, she let her eyes pull upward and her lips followed suit, casting a sheepish, hesitant smile his way.
“Good morning,” she said, her voice still thick with sleep.
She reached out and traced her index finger over his lips, then touched the tip of his nose the same way she used to when they were younger. In many ways, Noora looked the same to him, though he couldn’t deny that she’d aged some in the time that had passed. She’d always acted older than she was, but now she had a body to match the part. William dared say it suited her. He wondered if he looked older to her as well—if she ran her fingers over his features out of the need to reaffirm her memory, or a need to make them anew.
William sunk into the bed and inched his way down a little so that he was at eye level with her midsection. Keeping eye contact with her in case he went too far, he dipped his head to the spot just above her hip and mumbled “good morning,” into her skin, sending a minutia of vibrations up through her abdomen. Her eyes softened and she pushed her hand through his hair, sweeping his bangs out of his face and trying in vain to tuck it behind his ear. The small act gave him the confidence he needed and without hesitation, he disappeared beneath the sheets to give her a proper kiss good morning.
An hour or so later, they were both propped up against the wall, her pillows wedged behind their backs to provide a little support. Noora was in nothing but William’s shirt, William was in nothing but his briefs, and both of them held a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
Noora nestled herself securely against William’s side and took a hold of his only free hand, placing it gently on her thigh, palm up, and began to run her fingers over the creases that weaved their way like a map across his skin.
“What are we doing?” she whispered. The words effectively shattered the rose-colored glass that had secured their blissful night—they’d been lucky that it hadn’t been shattered first thing that morning. Even though he hated to think about ‘what they were doing’ he knew it was something they needed to discuss. Or at least acknowledge.
“Whatever you want,” he said. He knew he was putting a lot of pressure on her, but he needed to know where she stood with the situation before he made everything blurry with his own wants.
Noora tilted her head to look up at him out of the corner of her eye. “I don’t know what I want,” she said, hesitant. “I didn’t expect to be in this situation.” She played with his hand for a few seconds more, then cleared her throat. “I know I don’t want you to leave.” She leaned into him even further, if that was possible, and he moved the hand she’d been holding so that it was wrapped around her shoulders instead.
“I won’t leave until you tell me to,” he said into the crown of her hair.
“Good, because I might need your help if I get fired.”
A chuckle rumbled its way out of his chest. “You’re not going to get fired,” he said.
“What makes you so sure?” Noora said, exasperated. She removed herself from his grasp and thrust a hand up to her forehead. William took a moment to revel in the way she looked wearing nothing but his collared shirt—this was his favorite version of her. Hair mussed from a night of sleep and sex, lips slightly swollen, a few hickies staining her skin and his shirt, buttoned half way up, leaving just enough to his memory. She looked radiant in the early morning light. The cup that sat perfectly balanced between both her hands pulled the picture together. Under his intense stare, she faltered. Her brows pulled together before one shot upwards, giving him a quizzical look.
“Nothing,” William said quietly. “You’re so beautiful. You’re not going to lose your job.”
“Beauty has nothing to do with it, Willhelm.” She sat forward slightly and let her hand trail down her leg, leaning in his direction. The look on her face said she was teasing, but there was something in her eyes that let him know she truly thought that was his implication.
“That has nothing to do with it, you’re right,” he said. He didn’t mean it that way, of course, but she was right. That was how it had come across. Noora narrowed her eyes and cocked her head. “But you don’t need to worry about her,” he went on. “She’s not going to jeopardize her career and slandering you means slandering herself…trust me, she’s way too concerned about her image to run the risk of letting anything negative come out in the media.”
Noora slumped back against the wall. “I shouldn’t have gotten personally involved in business anyway. It’s my fault if something does come of it.” She stood from the bed and put her coffee mug on the dresser across the room, putting more force behind the gesture than was necessary.
“Are you pissed?” he asked.
“I’m not pissed,” she said. She turned to face him, and her face was covered in red blotches, her eyes full of tears about to be shed. Instantly, William knew he’d said something wrong.
“What is it?” He stood to join her and placed his own mug next to hers before pulling her into him. He was getting frustrated and he tried to keep his emotions in check. “Don’t let her make you feel badly.” His tone held a little bitterness and in an effort to let her know it was not directed toward her, he added, “I’m not going to let anything happen.”
They might have stood like that for an hour, just leaning into one another, using each of their bodies to hold the other up, but a knock from the front door interrupted them and sent Noora spiraling backwards out of William’s arms.
William wanted to ask if she was expecting someone, but it wasn’t his place. They’d only just fallen in bed together again after years and years of being apart. He had no right asking her who she did or did not invite into her own home. Noora didn’t offer any explanation but the look on her face indicated that she was only slightly less confused than he was. As she pushed past him and headed into the living room, he picked up their mugs and followed behind her, admiring the way she was still only wearing his shirt.
He thought briefly that he should suggest she put pants on, but a selfish part of him liked the way this marked her as his. He was territorial like that. Especially when it came to her.
The small kitchen sat to the side of the main living area, so while Noora answered the door, William topped of their coffees, giving them a renewed warmth. The second she opened the door and he heard Eva’s voice, William thought he should have seen this coming. He inched his way closer to the hall but stayed far enough back that he could hear the conversation without being seen. A goofy grin made its way over his face as Noora hastily tried to quiet Eva.
“Oh my god, is he here?” Eva said. He heard the door swing wide and hit the wall. “Oh my god!”
When William turned the corner, Eva was holding Noora at arm’s length.
“Careful,” Noora chastised, pushing her friend’s arms away and reaching behind her to grab the door. At the exact moment she was about to slam it shut, Chris appeared on the other side of the threshold. His eyes widened and a he bared his teeth, emitting a fake primal growl.
“Someone’s been naughty.” He pushed his way in and looked Noora up and down.
“Careful,” William said, repeating Noora’s words. Chris licked his lips in an attempt to not laugh and reached out to bring William into a hug.
“Nice of you to drop in,” Chris said.
“Nice of him to drop in?” Noora said, pulling bashfully at the ends of the shirt she was wearing. “Why are you here at…” she searched for a clock but couldn’t find one. “It’s too early for you to barge in here! Why are you here?”
“I sent you a text last night and you never replied. I was worried something had happened,” Eva said, covering her mouth. She pointed between William and Noora. “This was not what I expected.”
“She wasn’t too worried,” Chris added, one arm still slung over William’s shoulders. “She didn’t want to come check on you until I told her I’d talked to our good friend, here.”
As soon as Chris had removed his arm from William’s back, William made his way over to Noora and gently suggested she go get dressed. She immediately put her hands to the hem of his shirt and excused herself, encouraging everyone to make a plan for breakfast while she was changing.
Twenty minutes later, Noora and Eva were seated at a window table in a small café down the road. William and Chris had just approached the counter and were currently waiting for their orders to be ready for pick-up. The girls sat in excited anticipation, both of them watching and waiting for the second the guys were out of earshot.
As soon as the coast was clear, Eva turned to Noora with her hands folded under her chin, the apples of her cheeks rosy with excitement, and her mouth poised and ready to ask questions. She might as well have had hearts for eyes the way she was looking at her best friend.
“Tell me everything,” she said, only sort of being quiet. “Are you guys getting back together? How did this happen?”
Her excitement was contagious and overwhelming at the same time. It wasn’t that Noora hadn’t been excited on her own before Eva and Chris arrived, but something about the four of them being together again made the reality of her situation sink in. It didn’t feel like they were in school again, per se…but she couldn’t deny that there was a small part of her trying to navigate the waters of past and present, siphon through the ways in which she’d grown in her absence from William in an effort to determine if she were better off with him or without…
Just thinking about being without him after the past two days sent a surge of sadness through her heart.
“So…are you guys getting back together?” Eva asked again.
Noora drew her eyes away from William at the counter and let them fall back to the friend seated in front of her. She pushed away the hopeful look that she knew she had plastered across her face.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. She looked over to the counter one more time to make sure they had time before the guys would return. “I think I want to take things slowly. Well, I mean I guess we sort of ruined that right out of the gate, but…he was engaged, for Pete’s sake.”
Eva brushed her off. “Yeah, but so what. She sounds like a troll.”
“She’s anything but a troll,” Noora said, her eyes finding their way back to William’s frame.
(That was something she had to acknowledge. Ever since they’d found their way back to one another, she’d had a hard time taking her eyes off him. He was the altogether the same and altogether different at the same time—and that scared her. There would be so much they’d need to relearn about one another.)
“You know,” she started, still watching William, “He’s not asked about last time…I keep sort of wondering if it’ll come up. Surely, he harbors some kind of resentment at the fact that I just packed up and left. I know I would.”
“Maybe he’s moved on,” Eva offered.
Noora’s face pulled in reaction to her suggestion. “I doubt it,” she said. “I’m certain we’ll have to talk about it eventually. He might be happy to never bring it up, but if we don’t clear the air, it’ll be a giant elephant in the room for the rest of our lives…I don’t want it to be something we hold over one another in an argument a year from now.”
“Noora,” Eva said, reaching out and pulling the blonde’s hand to her so that she’d pay attention to what she was about to say. Her tone softened, the teasing and bubbly excitement turning into a gentle consolation. “You can’t take your eyes off him. I know you’re nervous…which is smart. You should be. But, listen to yourself. You’re already thinking about a fight you may or may not have a year from now. That’s got to mean you’re at least slightly interested in having a future with him.”
“But I’m worried about us fighting! Shouldn’t I be with someone I don’t worry I’ll fight with every morning? We skirted a fight this morning. Maybe we have to face it and we’re just not meant to be together long term.”
“Do you really mean that though? Look at you two.” Eva tilted her head in the direction of the counter. “The second you turn your head, his eyes dart over here and I swear,” she leaned back and folded her arms close to her chest, the devilish smile returning to her face. “If he doesn’t drag you off to the bathroom before he lets you leave for work, I’ll give you 200 krone.”
Noora blushed which only encouraged Eva’s smile to widen.
“Do you need me to tell you it’s okay if it doesn’t work out again? Because it’s okay if it doesn’t work out again. But if you ask me, I think you owe it to yourselves to give it a real shot. Besides. I’m getting tired of going out with Borkis and his girlfriend. He has this…it’s like a tick, but it’s not…he clears his throat and spits snot while we’re walking down the street and it’s just…I can’t anymore...”
Noora was vaguely aware of Eva talking, but her attention was focused on William as he stood beside Chris at the counter. She thought through what Eva had been saying, and in her heart, she knew she was right. They’d ended things abruptly and without real reason last time. They had also been very young and moving in together so soon had probably not been the best idea. But the problem wasn’t with her heart. Her heart wanted William. Her heart had always wanted him.
It was her head that was the problem. It was her rational side. The part that reminded her they’d spent a lot of time arguing, that reminded her of the way he’d been consumed by work and the need to prove himself. Her rational side was a nag. It kept her from taking chances…it convinced her to leave one of the only people she’d ever felt really saw her for who she was, and somehow, against all odds, they’d found their way back to one another.
As she watched him laughing with Chris, she felt herself growing open to the idea of giving it another shot. She didn’t know what she wanted, that was still true. But she knew she wanted to find out, and in order to do so, she’d need to give them a chance.
Just as she was coming to this conclusion within herself, a young and attractive brunette came to the counter with an assortment of plates and bowls on a tray. She flashed a bright smile to both Chris and William, but a moment later was leaning in a little closer than necessary to William. Noora’s heart lurched and fell into the pit of her stomach. Her blood thrummed through her veins and pooled in her ears, making everything around her go fuzzy. The woman tucked her hair behind her ear and said something that sent William into a brief spell of laughter.
Noora felt like she was a teenager again, watching him potentially flirt with someone who wasn’t her. Being conflicted between thinking he wasn’t good for her but not being able to deny the fact that she wanted him regardless.
Without looking to Eva, Noora pushed herself up off the chair and carried herself across the room, snaking her hands under William’s jacket and around his torso from behind. She leaned into him, pressing her body against his. Her hands wound their way up his chest and lightly skirted over the material of his shirt until he spun to face her.
Over his shoulder, Noora could see waitress retreating into the back of the café. She didn’t care where she was going or what she was doing so long as she wasn’t talking to William. Noora was normally very confident. Jealousy wasn’t really a trait she would have acknowledged having but…perhaps the fact that she had only just got him back was making her more territorial. Maybe she was willing to acknowledge the fact that she wanted him all to herself. Even if her head and her heart were still navigating the fine balance between being smart and being reckless.
“Hi,” William said, leaning in to capture her lips.
“Hi,” she whispered back. Distantly, she noticed Chris saying something that sounded vaguely like ‘get a room’ as he carried as much as he could back to the table.
William let his hands travel down to cup her ass and it sent a series of butterflies shooting through her abdomen. She leaned into him a little more until she was almost inside his jacket. He ran a finger over her brow then trailed down the side of her face until he was pinching her chin and pulled her into him for a real kiss. They were still standing at the counter, but Noora was completely lost in him, completely unaware of the fact that the whole of the café could see what they were doing.
As they pulled apart, Noora could tell William was studying her.
“What?” she asked, hesitant.
He paused for a moment, that hard-to-read stare focused on her. She memorized the way his brow was furrowed just slightly, memorized the way his eyes were soft even though his jaw was set. She tried to remember that there was a whole world inside his head that he never allowed the people around him to enter. She forced herself to give him the time to say what he needed to on his own terms.
William raised his hand again and pushed her hair out of her face, unsuccessfully attempting to tuck it behind her ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t come after you before,” he said, his voice quiet.
Noora’s face turned red and she could feel the heat emanating from her. “No,” she said, too quickly. “I’m sorry I left like that. And then I did it again the other day.”
William shook his head and moved his other hand up from where it had been resting, letting it instead sit along her hip, toying with the hem of her shirt.
“It’s not your fault though,” he said, shaking his head. “I should have never put you in the position. Either time.”
Noora licked her lips and put her hands on either side of his face, pushing his hair back out of his eyes to no avail.
“I can’t believe you still have this haircut,” she said.
He rolled his eyes, but his face remained soft. It was a silent acknowledgement that they would each let bygones be bygones. It was an unspoken, I forgive you.
“Hey, you,” she said, drawing his attention back. When he was focused on her again and she was certain that he knew she wasn’t holding any resentment, she said with clarity, with certainty, and with a plea that implied need and want and desire, “Stay with me.”
He leaned down and captured her lips and distantly in the background, they heard and uproar of cheering and loud applause. It was decidedly small and almost certainly only coming from one table.
When they pulled apart, Noora buried her head in William’s chest and he extended his hand in the direction of their best friends, only one finger exposed. The cheering didn’t necessarily stop, but it did turn to laughter.
Laughter, old and new memories and much more were shared across the table as the four enjoyed their breakfast in the rays of Oslo’s early autumn-sun. It had been forever since the four of them had sat down and actually talked - if ever. Back in high school, Chris and Eva had always been in this weird ‘not dating but kinda exclusive’-stage, which meant that hanging out with them had never really been an evident option to either of them. Yet now that they were here, feeling like they all knew each other inside out, they somewhat regretted that fact. Noora, who’d always seen Chris as nothing but a fuckboy, began to see what Eva found attractive in the guy. He was actually pretty smart and from what William had told her, he had a good heart as well. She could only smile to herself and shake her head as she thought of how big of a misunderstanding her three years in high school were…
Whilst other hand was gently allowing her to take a sip of her coffee, Noora used her free, ring-clad index finger to press the button of her phone. It’d become a habit - good or bad was debatable - to constantly check on time. Her eyes widened - startled by the time - immediately putting down the coffee cup and pushing her chair back. This immediately caught the other’s attention - especially William.
“I’m so sorry, but I have to leave now! I’ll talk to you later,” and with a last sip of coffee, the rushed movement almost causing it to spill all over herself, the journalist grabbed her bag and rushed out onto the street. The three abandoned friends could only look at each other - or mostly just Eva and Chris looking at William - with profound confusion. It almost felt like William’s feet were burning a hole in the floor beneath the table, as he could almost physically feel Noora get further and further away from him with every step she took. The burning sensation in his feet quickly spread to the rest of his body, like an out of control wildfire, making him feel uncomfortable and cramped in his seat. It didn’t take long for Chris to notice.
“You know you don’t have to stay here, right?” Chris’ confusion had quickly faded and had transitioned into a cocked brow, quickly understanding the strained look on William’s face - even though he’d probably never understand the weird things his best friend experienced because of that woman. Few seconds later, William took his friend’s advice and pushed out his chair to leave the café. As soon as he made it outside, after shuddering at the chilly weather and pulling his coat on tighter, he spotted the blonde hair flying in the wind just down the street.
It felt silly. It wasn’t like she was leaving, running away from him, but his entire body was high on some kind of adrenaline rush. Almost like a hunter that was about to put down his pray. He could fight it all he wanted, but his body was yearning for her and he simply couldn’t stay on the spot. There was nothing he wanted more than grab her, drag her back home and hide with her behind the curtains and beneath the covers. She had become a necessity. Not just to his happiness, but entire living and being.
“Noora!” He hadn’t even realised he’d called out her name, before she spun around with lips parted in surprise and hair flying around her head- almost in slow-mo like in a movie.
His legs finally got moving to meet her by the end of the street, where she was waiting on the corner as cars rushed by and made their way to work and school. As he got closer and closer, he could tell that she had a worried look in her eyes and that’s when it hit him that he actually had nothing specific to say. All he could was blame his emotions for bringing him here.
“What’s wrong?” She pushed her wind-caught hair behind her ear, exposing her almost distressed-looking eyes. No wonder when he came running after her like that.
By then he’d finally caught up with her and realised he had to do something, just something, or else she’d worry too much. Worry that he felt regret, that he’d draw back his emotions or even leave her like she’d left him. So he did the only thing he could think of. Right then and there on the spot. In order to close the little remaining gap between them, he instinctively lurched into her to crash their lips together - almost knocking her over - only to save her by grabbing her waist and spinning her around. Acting upon instinct as well, the blonde quickly caught up with his actions and grabbed his face with her already cold hands - he’d never in a million years mind though. People and cars rushed by, not paying attention to the now euphoric star-crossed lovers, whilst they themselves were in their own little world. While it was passionate, the kiss was sweet and held a lot of emotion, beautifully balancing out last night’s passionate acts. They didn’t have to look at the other two know that they were both smiling, even as the lips detached and their noses were left as the only connection between their faces.
“What was that for?” She chuckled, weakly and just barely enough for him to hear, before sliding a hand down to her neck to delicately caress his neck.
He took a moment to catch his breath, looking down before up again to connect with her eyes. “You left and I realised that I was homeless.”
Noora retreated her head and broke the facial contact, but slid the other hand down onto his neck, keeping a loving hold of him as she studied his facial features. Just one more time, she told herself. “Every time I tell myself that William Magnusson couldn’t be an any bigger cliche, you prove me otherwise…” She giggled and paused. “You…” then let one hand wander away from his neck to push his bangs out of his face. “I’m just going to work. You’ll see me again in a couple of hours.” Noora quickly noticed how an amused smile appeared, telling her that he was having a good laugh on the inside.
“While I do love your very metaphoric train of thought…” he slowly leaned in and pecked the tip of her nose, haltering for just a second before continuing. “I meant literally homeless. I have no place to go, and God be damned if I have to stay with those two fuck-bunnies back there. Then I’d rather stand in the cold and wait outside your office for hours - like a sad puppy.”
“Well,” she had to laugh at that before continuing. “No need to be a sad puppy,” he could feel her fiddling with something in the pocket of her coat, causing his eyes to switch from hers to the mystery object hiding in the soft fabric. “Mi casa es tu casa.” Out of the pocket, held between her index finger and thumb, hung a keychain with a couple of keys in it.
He grabbed the hand, closing his around hers before gently placing them both down by their sides. “Damn… I forgot that you speak Spanish. Either you’ll have to teach me or you’ll have to translate what you just said.” He leaned in closer, once again pressing his nose to hers.
“I can be your teacher…” Her green eyes passionately drilled into his, and William definitely noticed the sensual movement of her hand sliding onto his chest, gently working in circles across the sweater and into the surface that kept his heart safe. Not that it was only his heart that was feeling aroused right then… He somewhat wanted to blame her for making him feel like this in public, but on the other hand he’d been the one to start. Karma.
“But not right here. For now, I’ll just tell you that it means that you need to go home, get into bed and wait for me.” Still surprising herself every time she said something like that, Noora had to add a chuckle as to break the already boiling tension and give the young man in front of her a decent chance. And to William that was the most beautiful smile. He found it stupidly adorable every time she’d explicitly flirt with him, and every time flashed a smile at him, toothy or not; loud or quiet, it was the most beautiful smile. Sophia’s had never made him feel that way, and while t it did also make him feel somewhat guilty, he also knew that it only proved his love for the Norwegian girl to be the right one. The only authentic one. Another kiss was planted to her lips, grabbing her waist and drawing her in again once more, though not for as long as before. After sending her yet another loving smile, he looked down and reached out to gently grab the key from her hand. She let him. His eyes wandered back to hers and they were still smiling. Bust being so infatuated, he didn’t even get to bite his tongue as three very important words almost slipped out of his mouth.
“Noora… I lo-“ He quickly caught the words falling out of his mouth and bit his tongue. Thousands of red flags and alarms appeared in his mind. This was too soon. He’d just been engaged to another woman. Hell, he’d dated her for multiple years while the two had had no contact whatsoever. He had to be careful. Luckily, he managed to correct and save himself.
“… I’ll see you at home.”
She wasn’t neither deaf or stupid. It was Noora’s turn to have an amused smiled plastered across her face. There was no more doubt in her mind about what she wanted, and whilst she couldn’t blame him for feeling insecure, she knew that they’d have to work past it at some point. “Yeah, I’ll see you at home.”
She received an innocent nod and weak smile from his part, before he spun around and started walking back to the cafe. Hiding them from the cold, he quickly buried his hands in the warmth of his pockets. He could at least stick around at the cafe with Eva and Chris for a bit. It’d keep him from being left alone to think for too long.
Even through the strong wind, he clearly heard her and halted. As soon as he’d turned around to see what was going on, her eyes had already caught his. They were very sincere, almost so intense that it intimidated him but also very blissful at the same time. Without leaving her gaze, he could see that she was thoughtfully biting into her bottom lip. He loved when she did that. What hit him next would only send him into new dimensions of surprise and emotion.
