The Wrong Trees

Dogs barking up the wrong trees, humans pursuing mistaken paths and awry detours: faux pa(w)s, epic fails, mischievous dog walks, rants and musings...

[thewrongtrees]

Clinging on to the era of sagging pants that's coming to a close. Oh, the irony...

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[thewrongtrees]

Kirstie Alley and CNN got into something of a war of words on Friday when the vocal Donald Trump supporter was critical of the network's coverage of the novel coronavirus pandemic.

The Scream Queens actress tweeted at the network, “I now know why my personal friends who walk around in SHEER TERROR of contracting Covid are simply CNN viewers!”

She added, “I decided to watch CNN myself to get a their viewpoint and oh my God DID I EVER!!!! IF YOU TOO WANT TO LIVE IN TERROR WATCH CNN!! FEAR OF DYING IS THEIR MANTRA! OMG!”

CNN’s communications team responded with a jab at Alley’s sitcom Veronica’s Closet, which aired on NBC for three seasons from 1997 to 2000. “Kirstie, you are welcome to change the channel — just like countless viewers did every time ‘Veronica’s Closet’ came on TV,” read the tweet. “But don’t downplay the loss of nearly 230K American lives. And please, wear a mask.”

Alley responded to CNN by slamming Trump’s opponent Joe Biden. “Meow...if only you paid as much attention to Joe Biden’s alleged corrupt business dealings as a TV show that was rated top ten in 1997..... guess you got that wrong too,” she tweeted.

The actress continued: “Find ONE tweet I’ve tweeted to encourage people NOT to wear masks or NOT be careful or that has said anything disrespectful about sick people or those who have died ... there isn’t one. THIS is how FAKE information spreads like...” adding a GIF of burning lava.

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A post shared by The Wrong Trees (@thewrongtrees) on Oct 31, 2020 at 8:58am PDT

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The Lincoln Project, a group of Republicans dedicated to voting Trump out of office, has doubled down on their controversial billboard signs featuring Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner.

On Friday, October 30, Ron Steslow, one of the co-founders of The Lincoln Project, revealed they sent the billboard ads on a boat to Mar-a-Lago.

He tweeted, “@jaredkushner and @IvankaTrump demanded we take the billboards down. They threatened to sue @ProjectLincoln for ‘enormous’ sums. In honor of their demands, here is the boat we hired, on its way to Mar-A-Lago..."

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A post shared by The Wrong Trees (@thewrongtrees) on Oct 31, 2020 at 10:41am PDT

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“I like steam from the vents and clouds of white smoke I love walking through air I don’t have a single care…” https://www.instagram.com/p/CG6fvA1jkMw/?igshid=t2qevpgv2qbm

[thewrongtrees]

U.S. ELECTIONS 2020 - A Presidential Race Cheap Shot Talking about barking up the wrong tree: At a campaign rally Monday in Pennsylvania, President Donald Trump tried again to disparage Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.). “A great student of the environment — I don’t think she ever took an environmental course in college,” he said. “She did go to college, right?” “I could say yes, but who cares?” she tweeted. “Plenty of people without college degrees could run this country better than Trump ever has.” Ocasio-Cortez, who graduated from Boston University with degrees in economics and international relations, described as “classist & disgusting” the GOP’s attitude toward people without degrees, such as food service workers. The more college costs soar, she pointed out, the more degrees become a measure privilege than competence. “Our country would be better off if we made public colleges tuition-free & cancelled student loan debt,” she concluded. This was a state of the presidential race snapshot eight days before Election Day. https://www.instagram.com/p/CG2r4D-jVza/?igshid=1md8yy3xoaliq

[thewrongtrees]

Shallow Magicians The theory of a “Fake Melania” re-surfaced recently after a photograph of a smiling Melania looked quite different than the usually scowling and grimacing First Lady we know. Melania typically avoids her husband’s touch, giving legs to the conspiracy theory of a body double. Thanks to her husband’s lies and affinity to conspiracy theories, the existence of a Melania look-alike handling the First Lady’s public engagements is difficult to decipher. Melania’s apparent disdain for her husband extends to White House Christmas decorations as well. In a recorded conversation with a former friend she asked: “who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decorations?” We all knew her heart was not in decorating the White House with the horror-movie, scary Christmas looks she prefers. The shallow magicians of the Trump White House are running out of tricks… #fakeMelania, #fakefirstlady, #Melanialookalike https://www.instagram.com/p/CG1HYjLj3Is/?igshid=1n5t8y7bjyklr

[thewrongtrees]

'Sue if you must' What’s not to gush over The Lincoln Project’s billboard in Times Square featuring Trump’s daughter and son-in-law smiling next to a tally of U.S. deaths from COVID-19? - The replacement of the beans can with the coronavirus death toll? - The Lincoln Project’s response to lawsuits threats over the giant ads? - The“entitled, out-of-touch bullies” and “gross act of nepotism”comments? - The “Please peddle your scare tactics elsewhere” response? The billboards “will stay up,” The Lincoln Project declared. “We consider it important that in Times Square, the crossroads of the world, people are continuously reminded of the cruelty, audacity and staggering lack of empathy the Trumps and Kushners have displayed toward the American people.” It turns out that touting a can of beans can have the most dire consequences… #TheLincolnProject, #Trumpdaughter, #IvankaTrump, #nepotism, #Kushner https://www.instagram.com/p/CG01_H9j_mi/?igshid=1hr1papxw90wo

[repawrtage]

So Many Flags So Little Time

You waved the white flag, the Biden campaign told Trump's chief of staff Mark Meadows who offered a blasé response to any effort to contain the spread of Covid-19.

No, you are waving the white flag, you white mask-wearer you, Meadows replied.

President Trump, meanwhile, unfolded his own flag of denial, describing the media’s coverage of the coronavirus as “an election law violation” and an attempt to hurt his campaign.

Back at the ranch, Vice President Mike Pence wrapped himself in the “I am Essential” flag and declared that he will keep campaigning and won't self-isolate despite having had close contact with team members who tested positive for COVID-19

Over on State FOX TV, the First son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner took out his own little racist flag, implying that some Black Americans don't strive for success.

This is the state of the presidential race nine days before Election Day.

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A post shared by Sandro's Repawrtage (@repawrtage) on Oct 26, 2020 at 1:13pm PDT

[thewrongtrees]

The "pilot" episode... https://www.instagram.com/p/CGtDWyBDRRC/?igshid=enkedcr2u8cl

[thewrongtrees]

Freezer Burnt Pitches

Some burnt-out celebrities keep defrosting their dehydrated pieces of fame with new roles pitching products and services. Actor Tom Selleck is the reverse-mortgage industry’s “trustworthy” pitchman about Nellie Young and the many rodeos under his belt. Robert Wagner and Henry Winkler have also embraced reverse thinking. Sally Field and Joan Lunden urge seniors to “call now” for bone loss medicines and Medicare plans. Sportscaster Chris Berman is throwing “tell them The Swami sent you” fastballs at car owners. And the list goes on with free DVDs, hearing aids and gold coins thrown in.

Freezer burn pitches may appear weary but they’re still legit. Unfortunately, overall quality is not equal to fresh counterparts.

Photo courtesy of AAG Reverse Mortgage 

#pitchingproducts, #agingcelebrities, #tvpitchman #TomSelleck, #reversemortgage #RobertWagner, #HenryWinkler, #NellieYoung https://www.instagram.com/p/CGqNGRYjTco/?igshid=rdlt4oklwczx

[thewrongtrees]

Black and Blue Balls 

Like a modern-day Penelope, Clare Crawley, star of the long-running reality series Bachelorette, wove a ratings ruse for the many suitors trying to woo her.

On Season 16, Episode 2, she took a set of the male contestants on a group date and had them compete in a strip dodgeball tournament. ABC pixelated the men once they removed their dignity and continued to pixelate below their self-respect as the losing team walked away from the challenge naked.

Apparently there are still fans of the reality series out there and they were outraged, it seems. They called out Crawley’s strip dodgeball date, voiced concern about double standard by objectifying the men and argued that if a Bachelor would have made a similar request to female contestants, the show would be taken off the air.

Others were quick to bring up the pillow fighting by scantily clad female contestants in The Bachelor.

“It’s a lot to put your heart on the line, it’s a lot to be vulnerable,” Crawley told The Hollywood Reporter. In episode 2, men left their self-respect in their rooms and put their balls and their asses on the line; and boy did it hurt!

#ClareCrawley, #Bachelorette, #stripdodgeball

Photo courtesy of ABC

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGoC4IXjlMz/?igshid=14auq2t89ngyf

[thewrongtrees]

Make Good Use of Your Hands CNN will only say that lawyer and author Jeff Toobin “has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted." The New Yorker said that it had suspended Toobin following the incident, and it was investigating the matter.  The “incident”: He exposed himself during a Zoom call with colleagues in what he says was an accident. "I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera," Toobin said. "I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers." Two sources claimed Toobin had been seen masturbating on the call. The “incident” has drawn attention to a uniquely 2020 phenomenon: people masturbating while working from home. “What?” you say. “Impossible!” Rolling Stone magazine reminds us that “according to a 2016 Time Out survey, nearly 40 percent of New Yorkers had admitted to masturbating while on the job”. Some health officials consider masturbating an effective way to cope with the pandemic and be healthy: it boosts productivity, releases tension, enhances mood and concentration. Next time, when the need for self-love strikes, don’t take your masturbating breaks during zoom calls. Consider stepping away from your computer and duct tape your webcam to cover all your …bases so to speak. https://www.instagram.com/p/CGjByDjDvKU/?igshid=hk6q887zhd0h

[thewrongtrees]

Make Good Use of Your Hands CNN will only say that lawyer and author Jeff Toobin “has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted." The New Yorker said that it had suspended Toobin following the incident, and it was investigating the matter.  The “incident”: He exposed himself during a Zoom call with colleagues in what he says was an accident. "I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera," Toobin said. "I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers." Two sources claimed Toobin had been seen masturbating on the call. The “incident” has drawn attention to a uniquely 2020 phenomenon: people masturbating while working from home. “What?” you say. “Impossible!” Rolling Stone magazine reminds us that “according to a 2016 Time Out survey, nearly 40 percent of New Yorkers had admitted to masturbating while on the job”. Some health officials consider masturbating an effective way to cope with the pandemic and be healthy: it boosts productivity, releases tension, enhances mood and concentration. Next time, when the need for self-love strikes, don’t take your masturbating breaks during zoom calls. Consider stepping away from your computer and duct tape your webcam to cover all your …bases so to speak. https://www.instagram.com/p/CGjBmUIjmPw/?igshid=a2woxsytr4gw

[thewrongtrees]

Come on inner peace I don't have all day... https://www.instagram.com/p/CGiMwG9D___/?igshid=1kv5b2lqk9d0u

[thewrongtrees]

Come on inner peace I don't have all day... https://www.instagram.com/p/CGiL9oEDZTB/?igshid=137zwm7poxha9

[thewrongtrees]

Don’t Bake Your Heroes Comedian Laura Daniel should resist any temptation to celebrate the landslide victory of New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern with another cake. During the coronavirus lockdown, as baking at home increased in popularity, Daniel made a horrific cake tribute to the New Zealand prime minister for a baking competition on the television show “Seven Sharp” in April. Daniel said the common wisdom was “don’t bake your heroes” but she wanted to try anyway as the coronavirus lockdown dragged on. Ardern's party won the country’s general election in a landslide on October 17, 2020, achieving an absolute majority and securing her a second term. Her popularity soared earlier in 2020 after she led a successful effort to stamp out the virus. Daniel took another crack at making a Jacinda Ardern cake few days before the election. “A slightly better cake...Yet still haunting…” she admits.  Her baking skills can only improve from here. Photo: Laura Daniel/Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CGeQh7ojWDL/?igshid=26oyvtn04p0v

[thewrongtrees]

"Hmm, you are not doing so well, are you little tree? It's a jungle out here..." https://www.instagram.com/p/CGX6j0vj-Vw/?igshid=181amla2u7lrm