The Coldest Winter

Indie RP blog. Multiship. Multiverse. AU friendly. MCU/616. Potentially NSFW. tracking: sgtjamesbbarnes, thexcoldestxwinter

[jackrollins-striketeam-deactiva]

✺

Send me a ✺ for my muse’s reaction to yours knocking on their door in the middle of the night

He doesn’t have many visitors and certainly not at two in the morning and unannounced. He grabs his pistol and heads for the door. When he checks the peephole he is surprised to see the Winter Soldier standing on the other side of the door. He hesitates for a moment before deciding that if the Soldier was here to kill him he wouldn’t have knocked and opens the door.

"What brings you here?"

[jackrollins-striketeam-deactiva]

"Just want to know what gave me away. Never hurts to know what you fucked up so you don’t keep fucking it up." Jack shuts the door and gestures Winter further inside. "So what do you want from me?"

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"You need to be more careful. Make sure nobody's around before you make your move. People see things, and people talk." And Winter had found that he made people uncomfortable, and that made them particularly likely to tell him what he wanted to know. He shrugged his shoulders, following Rollins' direction and moving farther inside. "I don't know. It was better than being alone."

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?

[text] If it was an accident I wouldn’t call you smooth. 

[text] Who’s the “lucky” pair? 

thexcoldestxwinter

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] Sure it was. And not shocked it took more than charm to talk Steve into a three way?

[text] No. Assumed you guys were saving something for the honeymoon. 

[text] Hehe, I might cuddle with the wolves given the choice. So is the other person Clint or Tony? 

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] I could tell you a thing or two about Steve.

[text] But I won't, because then you'd all want one.

[text] I think Clint and I'd probably end up killing each other. Plus, I hear Stark's ... experienced.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

ooc

Got a couple things done today. Bucky muse seems to have decided that he's finally ready to cooperate. I'll be back tomorrow after work with more thingsss.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"Friends don't look at each other like that."

Instead of taking the bait, Bucky plays dumb. He casts a sidelong glance her way, shrugging his shoulders. "Dunno what you’re talkin’ about, Gretchen." He punctuates the words with an almost-smile, which is the closest he gets to looking anything like the old Bucky Barnes most days. "Care to fill me in?"

[diekleineamsel]

"Pity, that. You’re missing quite the sight." So she was still a little buzzed - she meant what he said even if he was being modest. Her feelings for him were about more than just his looks, though, which she was sure he knew. "My word is good, I promise."

She wasn’t kidding about the coffee maker either, though depending on how he broke it she might cut him a bit of a break. If he played his cards right. "I can do that, if it’s really coffee you’ll be wanting," she agreed amiably. She loved her keurig, it was so easy and useful. Once they were inside, she led the way to the elevator, hitting the floor button and then leaning against the back. "Maybe your apartment could even fit inside mine. Though my cats would not appreciate their space being minimized."

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"I don’t know about that. I look like I’ve been through one too many wars."  The war had never really ended for him, after all. World War II had been unkind enough to him - but it had only been the beginning. If he’d had any idea what would become of him after his fall from the train, who knows what he might have done differently? Stood in a different spot, held the shield differently, anything. 

"Oh, I don’t know. Seems a bit late in the day for coffee, don’t you think?" He offered a hint of a smile. It was the closest he really got to it, these days."It probably could. I’m used to not having much space, so I pretty much went with the tiniest thing I could find." The smallest thing he could find that hadn’t brought to memory being pulled, naked and terrified, out of cryo. No, he told himself. Now is not the time.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

Interruption

20. Your muse walks in on mine crying

For a long time, Bucky wasn’t capable of showing emotion. Now he feels like there’s too much of it, that he’s just a mess and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Whenever he feels too overwhelmed and needs to cry, he sneaks off to hide himself away in his room or some other private spot. Today, that didn’t really pan out so well, and he hears the door open and Stephanie’s voice asking him if everything’s okay and that just makes him cry harder and sit there with his head in his hands. She wasn’t supposed to see this. He didn’t want to make her worry. "I … I just need a minute."

[misscptamerica]

Stephanie sniffed and looked up at him sadly. “I’ve had people tell me that it wasn’t my fault you ‘died’. Peggy, Tony, Natasha, Sam, Thor, Coulson, Fury, and you. Doesn’t change how I feel. I wasn’t able to save you from falling off that train. It’s still gonna be my fault in my brain no matter what people say. I know I’m not perfect. I am human, but I just wish I could go back an save you from all this. Maybe you could have frozen with me in the ice. I would have loved that better than thinking you were dead for 70 years then seeing you are alive as a brainwashed assassin,” she said, hugging him tightly.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"Look, if it was anybody's fault, it was mine. I should've known what was gonna happen, but I didn't." He'd only had one thought in his mind - protect the one person he couldn't be without. "It was either me or you, and I think we both know what would've happened if it had been you." Bucky would have probably hit the bottle hard, there would have been no Captain America to do what needed to be done and he'd always have wondered 'what if'. At least now they had a chance. After all the years and all they'd been though, there was a chance. "It's somethin' to think about, though, isn't it?" How life could have been different - he could imagine it would've been kinda peaceful, freezing in the ice with the knowledge that at least they'd be together. He rested his cheek against the top of her head, eyes closing.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

☡

Well, damn. The last thing Bucky had expected when he’d barged right into Steve’s room was to find the other man undressing, but that was exactly what greeted him and he couldn’t exactly say that the sight was an unpleasant one. On the contrary, he had trouble dragging his eyes away for a moment and just stood there, mouth hanging open slightly and taking in the view. He’d known Steve was in shape, but damn. Finally after a few seconds of staring he managed to pull himself together. "Damn. Sorry, Steve. I didn’t realize you weren’t … uh … decent." Except that the super soldier’s body was much, much more than decent - but that was a subject for another day.

[freedomsxprice-archive-deactiva]

Captain America, and Steve himself really, was known for his kindness, his goodness, and his sense of justice and fairness. All of that went out the window when anyone saw fit to threaten someone who fell under his protection and no one was protected quite the way Bucky was. If anyone was foolish enough to threaten the former soldier, who was practically family, they were foolish enough to let themselves be killed by the captain. He had little interest or patience for showing restraint.

In a blink, his hand moved from the agent’s collar to his neck, squeezing gently… gently for him, at least. “Now, that really depends on you,” he growled, pushing him back toward the vault door. “Open it. And to save time on your useless protesting, let me very clear on one matter.” He leaned in close to the agent, fire burning in his eyes. “That was not a request and God as my witness, I will use you as a battering ram to get in through that door.”

[thexcoldestxwinter]

Apparently the individual in question hadn’t been expecting Steve to actually find them. Knowing that it could theoretically happen and seeing it happen were two different things. Most people, after all, were afraid of dying. Steve's grip on the operative's neck just gave him the push that he needed to be cooperative. He wanted to help the cause, sure, but dying for it? Not so much. "Alright, alright! Just ... give me a second." He raised his communicator, speaking the designated 'passphrased' in a hushed tone. The vault door started to slowly creak open, and he gave Steve a look as if to say 'see? I helped'. He knew that the Winter Soldier was a menace, but eventually even the Captain would have to see that. Wouldn't he? "You'll regret this if you stop them, Cap. He's a monster. There's no changing that."

[fallingwithangelss]

Reblog if your dashboard was broken.

[freedomsxprice-archive-deactiva]

"You could have been killed!"

"I’m fine…"

[freedomsxprice-archive-deactiva]

"Then stop doing everything you can to push me away and hold me off at arm’s length!" Steve snaps back, his slow-burning fuse still too close to its limit after the afternoon he’d had. He ached and his clothes were bloody and sticking to him uncomfortably. All he wanted was a hot shower, clean clothes, and bed. Instead, he found himself on the defensive from the one person he never wanted to fight in any capacity… all for protecting them both. When Bucky moved forward and grabbed him, Steve’s eyes widened, then shut quickly in a pained wince as he was shook, cracked ribs jostling far too much for comfort. His hands came up and he batted Bucky’s hands away from himself, a dark look shadowing his face. "Did I fucking say you were a damsel in distress, huh?! Guess what?! It may be your battle, but those fuckers made it my battle too by taking down what Peggy, Howard, and the others built up and trying to take you and me down with it! They made it my battle when they try to come to my home, a place I have the right to feel safe! They made it my battle and I gladly accepted! If you think for one second that this was all about you, you need to get your head outta your ass!”

[thexcoldestxwinter]

Bucky wasn't expecting Steve to react so violently. All he wanted to do was keep his friend safe. Was that so wrong? Maybe he was going about it the wrong way and maybe it was egocentric to assume that this was all about him, but with Steve that was sometimes a logical assumption to make. Steve cared about him more than he deserved, he knew that. He felt a little guilty at the pained wince on Steve's face, but didn't realize the larger man's shirt until his hands were batted away. He let them fall back to his sides, his eyes narrowed. Steve was swearing at him - that probably meant that the guy was pretty pissed. "Calm the fuck down, Steve. I get that you feel like this is your battle too, but when you come home looking like somebody just beat the living shit out of you ... it's scary, okay?"Terrifying, really, because Bucky could count on one hand the number of people he'd seen beat Steve since he became 'Captain America'.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

✱

A massage

Bucky feels like they’re comfortable enough with each other for this now, maybe. He’s really not sure how anybody feels about him, given his tenure as the Winter Soldier, but Gretchen is as close to being somebody he can trust as anybody except Steve. So when she mentions that her shoulders are hurting he does the gentlemanly thing and offers to massage them for her. A minute or so into it, he’s not entirely confident in his skills and he’s afraid that his bionic arm will hurt her, so he asks. "This okay?"

[diekleineamsel]

She was staring at him. Waiting on his answers - far more interested in them than she had any right to be, but there was a time the thought of marrying and having a family with him had been a dream of hers. Those days were long gone. "If it’s not something you’re concerned with then I wouldn’t allow it to weigh on your mind. I’m sure if you find the right person you’ll work it out." There was always time.

The urge to hold him close and assure him that he was not the monster he seemed to think himself was strong, but she held back. "You were not yourself, Herr Bucky, you were doing what was ordered. It wasn’t as though you were operating independently.”

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"I don't know. I mean on the one hand I've got time, but on the other hand ...." On the other hand HYDRA had taken so much of his life from him already. How long was he going to be dealing with the fallout from that before he could have some semblance of a normal life? He had no clue. All he could do was wallow in self-pity - and no small amount of self-loathing - and wait.

"I wasn't, no. But ... I don't even know who myself is most days." And that was the scary part, not knowing his own mind. How the hell was he supposed to get to know anybody else when he couldn't say for sure that he knew himself?

[inboxideas]

Bite me!

[thexcoldestxwinter]

No, seriously. Bite the character somewhere (anywhere). See what happens.

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?

[text] If it was an accident I wouldn’t call you smooth. 

[text] Who’s the “lucky” pair? 

thexcoldestxwinter

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] Ah! So it wasn’t pure Barnes’s charm after all.

[text] Not surprised. 

[text] Miss Hill looks like she could use a night off. 

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] It was mostly my charm, though.

[text] You're not?

[text] 'Miss Hill' terrifies me more than a pack of angry Russian wolves.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

Ooc

I was going to do posts today but apparently making 57436764786 gif icons for Bucky seemed like a better idea to my brain. I promise I'll get something posted tomorrow. :)

[jackrollins-striketeam-deactiva]

✺

Send me a ✺ for my muse’s reaction to yours knocking on their door in the middle of the night

He doesn’t have many visitors and certainly not at two in the morning and unannounced. He grabs his pistol and heads for the door. When he checks the peephole he is surprised to see the Winter Soldier standing on the other side of the door. He hesitates for a moment before deciding that if the Soldier was here to kill him he wouldn’t have knocked and opens the door.

"What brings you here?"

[jackrollins-striketeam-deactiva]

Jack steps aside to let Winter in. He’s slightly taken aback by the shrug - he’s never actually seen the Soldier make gestures like that before. He glances out his door, checking for anyone following Winter even though he knew the other man would never have let himself be followed but old habits…

"How did you know where to find me?"

[thexcoldestxwinter]

Winter steps inside, brushing past Rollins and giving him a look as if to say 'really, Jack?'. "You're good at covering your tracks, but you're not me." Which meant that there had still been a trail to follow - or enough of one for Winter to sniff out, at least.

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?

[text] If it was an accident I wouldn’t call you smooth. 

[text] Who’s the “lucky” pair? 

thexcoldestxwinter

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] That doesn’t really narrow it down James. I do get around. 

[text] But I’ll take a shot in the dark.

[text] You found some really strong alcohol that works on super soldiers and now you, Steve and Sam are heading for the tower. 

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] Well, you're half right.

[text] Thor brought the booze, by the way.

[text] Steve's one of them. Keep guessing.

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?

[text] If it was an accident I wouldn’t call you smooth. 

[text] Who’s the “lucky” pair? 

thexcoldestxwinter

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] Can’t tell you that.

[text] If I told you I’d have to kill you.

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] But you can gloat? 

[text] Classy. Just spit it.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] Sure I can. It’s not every day this happened.

[text] A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

[alongcamenatasha-deactivated201]

[text] some would argue a gentleman also doesn’t have three ways.

[thexcoldestxwinter]

[text] some would be wrong.

[text] it may or may not have with two people that you know.

[rpprompts]

send me urls to blogs you want to see me rp with!

[thexcoldestxwinter]

"Stop it! You’re hurting me!"

James hears Steve's exclamation that he needs to stop and that he's hurting the other man, but sometimes knowing he should do something and doing it are two different things. It's hard for him to hold back sometimes, especially now when everything HYDRA did to him is so fresh and the Winter Soldier lurking in his brain seizes control from time to time.

He doesn't stop until he sees the blood streaming from Steve's nose and stares down at his hands in horror. Jesus Christ, Barnes, what are you doing? He's promised himself time and time again that this isn't him anymore, that he won't hurt the people that care about him and yet ... here he is, doing just that. "Steve? I ... I'm sorry ..." All he can do is stare in horror at his own hands.