a story in the making

Noah. Olivia. Benjamin,

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Alice knew that she was overshooting when she asserted why he was there. She understood to a degree why he was there. He was trying to respect her. Though her anger was preventing her from fully realizing that. It was also hard to truly believe anything he was saying because the trust between them had been broken. But if it were true that he was there out of respect for her, then why bother in the first place? Alice, more than anything, wanted answers. She was mad at him for being so intent on her expressing her feelings. But the reality was that she’d been the one who’d chosen to share them with him in the first place, so the only person she could truly be mad at was herself. He didn’t deserve her vulnerability, but he’d once been the only person she could even be vulnerable with. It’d always been difficult for her to resist the urge to keep her feelings inside with him. He’d always seen her and she could feel that, even tonight. He gave her a place to express herself in ways that no one else even realized she desperately needed. It sucked to know the person that you loved, who saw all of you, was also able to leave you without a second thought. And the feeling of that was ever present tonight because once again she’d fallen for him and his way of seeing her in ways that no one else ever had even come close to. “I need to know why you left.” Alice had calmed down now. The anger had given way to the pain that was seeping in. But it was an answer that had evaded her for so long, leaving her with more questions than she even imagined possible. Was it possible that his reason for leaving without a trace could be justifiable? Or was his answer just going to solidify the pain she was already feeling? She wasn’t sure which version she preferred at this point. But she knew that in order to truly move forward it was answer she needed. “You owe me that much.”

He couldn’t argue and say that he didn’t owe her the explanation for why he left, he simply wasn’t sure he could adequately explain why he’d left. At least not without confusing her – considering there were still times he wasn’t sure it was the right choice to make. But then he’d remind himself that – even if ill advised, he was trying to help her. But good intentions, didn’t mean that you didn’t hurt someone. “I’m not sure you’d believe me if I told you.” He started with, because it was true. Saying ‘it was to help you’ seemed like the easiest way to try and make yourself look better. Saying you left for selfish reasons wasn’t exactly something that won you any points, so people would try and go for the other option. In doing so, that cheapened the times where people actually did something to try and help someone out, because Alice would have every reason to doubt his answer. “I thought... In a twisted way I was trying to... I don’t know how to explain it.” He was usually good with words, however that seemed to go out of the window when it was something of importance he had to talk about. When real emotions were involved, it was harder to work all the way through it and express his thoughts eloquently. “I thought you’d tried to make everyone happy for all your life, and that’s not a bad thing.” Something he wanted to double down on, because it was a massive part of her character. “But I think at some point, we’d got into a little bubble and I realised... I realised you’d never really got the chance to live the way you wanted to. I thought if I left, it’d be better for you. You could go out and live your life to the fullest, without thinking about me whenever something good came up for you. You deserved the best, and I thought I was getting in the way of that. And I wasn’t going to be someone else that you put yourself second best to.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

She laughed at his words, quickly shaking her head. “I was only kidding. You could never be cold.” In her mind, Noah was always taking care of everyone. Even if his approach was that of a logical one, he cared about people in his life and took that seriously. Thinking about it and looking at him suddenly felt like such a deadly combination. While just hours ago she had been able to admire that trait of his from afar, now it felt as though her feelings were foreign and forbidden. She tried to focus on the conversation they were having instead of the bubbling feelings in her stomach. Again, his words made her laugh, something that was comforting for her. “Definitely never. Anything that gets her out of dingy college bar land is a yes for her. Nate is more of a toss up I suppose. He has his other group of friends and I like to think he loves us more but I never know.” And she was mainly joking of course. She’d say just about anything to fill the air space between them and create a conversation that they could both keep up. As much as she wanted to start the movie, their conversation was serving as a better distraction than the movie would. But there it was, the guy that was always taking care of everyone. He did know. And that was exactly what he’d tried to do for her tonight. And she’d gone ahead and blown a giant, gaping hole into the night. She matched his smile with a nod. “I think I might pass that question along to Ophelia. She always knows where the best restaurants and places are to go. And I don’t really mind where we go so long as I have you guys around and we’re far away from…anything that could get in the way.” Bailey swallowed, placing her hands between her legs on the bed as she looked away. Somehow she couldn’t get what’d happened tonight out of her head.

“Are you saying Nate likes his other friends more than me?” He gasped, mock hurt at the words. “I think telling him he can get away from here for a while will get him to come. We all need some time away from our problems here don’t we?”Not that he was sure what problems Nate had at that point in time, but a change of scenery was always nice in his mind. To hit pause on your life, and go have a fun time while you were young and could still take advantage of it. “Do you really want to give control to Ophelia? I like her but... if it was up to her, I think she might just plan out our lives down to the minute.” Hyperbolic, but Ophelia had always struck him as the kind to like order. And while he happened to be a fan of order, he also needed some leeway in his plans for things to change – especially when it was for a break. Not to mention, he didn’t want them to end up somewhere too posh. Noticing her posture seem to change, he had to hold himself back from reaching out for her hand. “It’s been a weird night, maybe we should think about heading to sleep? Skip the movie and simply hope for a better day tomorrow?” And if they couldn’t get a better day, he was at least hoping they would get a less awkward day. He wanted to be able to joke around with her and slip into deep conversations if that’s where things happened to go. He didn’t want to have to feel like the heaviness around them was going to crush them at any moment. He wanted things to be normal. Despite the voice in the back of his head, telling him that they weren’t going to be able to get back to ‘normal’ – they’d simply have to come up with a new normal, however scary that might be.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Nate nodded. He was too afraid to think and so he grabbed onto her hand with haste pulling her inside his room and shutting the door behind them. If he’d had a moment to think this through surely he would rationalize the consequences of their of this moment together, the greatest of which being that he could lose Col which was a no go. But could he just turn her away since the situation had presented itself, also, not a chance. Nate turned the lamp on, on the other side of the room so it wasn’t completely dark, nor completely light. “Mood lighting.” He joked, before pulling his t-shirt over his head and dropping it lazily on the floor. Nate wanted to leave and go get them some vodka, but he was too afraid to leave her alone given that she might change her mind. But then again, maybe he should be giving her that moment to decide. As much as Nate wanted this, he did need to be sure that this was something she wanted too. “Okay, I’ll be right back. Something I think we need.” And by ‘we’, he really meant himself in this case because his nerves required some calming. It wasn’t like he wanted to get her drunk and into bed with him either. Would it come off that way? See, questions, too many questions. He grabbed the vodka from the counter, not even bothering to grab a glass or anything of the sort. No, it was time to get back to the room with the vodka immediately. But, he did take a pull of it on his way into the bedroom, grimacing with the burn. Nate nodded though, knowing it was the right call. He opened the door back up, shutting it quickly behind him, “Felt we should add a little more of this to the mix. But, up to you.” He grinned.

Gladly letting Nate guide her towards his room, she tried to focus solely on him – that way there was less chance of her mind coming up with all the reasons it shouldn’t be happening. Instead she was focusing on him, and the fact that if she was going to spend the night with someone, at least she trusted him. At least he was someone she wanted, and not someone she was settling for. Laughing softly at his comment about mood lighting, she’d been about to joke back, before her eyes darted down as he started to remove his t-shirt – almost looking away feeling like it was something she wasn’t meant to be saying, then realising they’d both already said they wanted to cross the friendship line so looking was fine. Confusion hit her as he said he’d be right back, followed by the nauseating idea he’d already decided the whole thing was a mistake. Of course she’d leave if he wanted her too, but after that, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to face him again. Suddenly feeling a little lightheaded, she sat down on the edge of her bed. Closing her eyes, she tried to ground herself in the moment and forget all the doubtful thoughts fighting in her mind. When she heard the door open once more, cautious eyes looked up at him – realisation dawning as she noticed what was in his hand. Pushing herself up from the bed, she reached her hand out for the bottle. “Has anyone ever said you’re a genius?” She quipped, elation back in her voice now that her worries had been eased for the moment. “Some people do the cliché wine route, but if we’re all honest... Wine’s not exactly strong enough at times is it? You have to pull out the good stuff, especially on a night that’s meant to be.. All about being carefree I guess. Living your best life and all those cliché sayings.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Spencer’s head shook with a scoff. Sure she had all of those things. It was clear she was rich, and the sort of rich where keeping up appearances was everything. The idea of that made Spencer’s skin crawl. He’d done everything he could to push away that bit of his life, enough so that he’d estranged himself from his family. It was a hard road to walk and so to say that he felt strongly about the fact that life had handed her all of that without her having a second thought about it would be an extreme understatement. It wasn’t her fault of course, he just felt she was missing out on what made life, life. “And all with Daddy’s money I’m sure. You know, there’s a whole world out there that daddy’s money would never be interested in buying. And news flash, it’s better.” Spencer couldn’t stop himself from allowing such judgmental words slip from his mouth. The thing was, he liked her too. He liked the way that she could challenge him. But she had struck a chord with him that it was apparent he wasn’t able to ignore. “So I have noticed. And that, we can definitely agree on. Although sometimes blending in with a crowd is nice too. You can just relax and ride the wave, so to speak.” He spoke with all the cheese the world had to offer but Spencer never minded a healthy helping of cheese now did he. “Oh, and what exactly is my decorum then?” He questioned, placing a hand over his heart as he mocked her though he hoped she knew it was all in jest. “First off, where’s the benefit of the doubt for me hmm?” He questioned as he offered her a hand to pull her up from where she sat on the beach. “And second off, we’re going to a Cuban restaurant. And you can choose what you want from the menu as long as it’s authentic and you can also choose how you eat it. But I have no responsibility for the looks you may or may not receive if you eat a sandwich with a fork.”

“Well that’s not completely factually correct.” She tutted. “It’s half mommy’s money too.” Tilting her head up, in her best impression of the most obnoxious kind of person she knew. In her mind, she was pre-spending her own money. It’s what she’d inherit eventually, and actors get paid – so why shouldn’t she get something for acting like the perfect daughter? Getting some of the finer things in life, seemed a good enough price for the headaches she got by forcing herself to smile all the way through some boring business dinner. Shrugging at the next words, she cocked her head to the side. “We can agree to disagree on that. I never liking blending into a crowd. If I want to relax, I’d do something alone or grad my bff.” Usually she would said ‘my best friend’ or simply called Bailey by her name, but ‘bff’ sounded more like vapid person she was currently coming off as. Spoiled princess was easier to play than letting her guard drop a little, around people she didn’t trust. She had to be sure she could trust someone before showing anything other than cliché spoiled princess, just in case word got back to her parents she wasn’t being exactly who they wanted her to be. “Do you really want me to answer that?” She prompted, smirk on her lips saying it wasn’t serious. Not that she was immune to picking fights when she was in the mood, but he was make decent company at that point – even if she wasn’t about to admit that. “I don’t hand out benefit of the doubts to strangers.” Words that were said in jest, despite being true. There were too many people in the world who didn’t have the purest of motives, and she’d learnt it was best to start off doubtful. “Cuban? A little more cultured than anything I thought you’d say. If you hadn’t mentioned sandwiches I’d almost be impressed.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Her head cocked curiously, the plot of the boy had thickened just like that and she welcomed it. “Interesting.” Suddenly he was a little more interesting. Ame studied him for a bit. He was starting to make a little bit more sense to her. She’d been a bit confused watching him waver between this dorky down to earth kid and then one with a bit more edge. The edge had shown once he started talking about his father. Something Ame could definitely relate to although her edges were pretty eroded at this point. There was definitely some acceptance of his father’s passing he had left to do. “So then, do you actually like the game or is it really just about your dad?” She wondered. If nothing else, Ame was thankful for the entertainment he was providing. People had always been interesting to her and maybe, just maybe, she had been a little too quick to judge him. “Not if it’s actually true. You’re not that hard to read.” She shrugged. “Small town, I come here a lot.”

Subconsciously furrowing his brow, he couldn’t equate dead parent with ‘interesting’ in his mind. It wasn’t one of his fond memories after all, and if he’d had his way, both of his parents would still be around. Shrugging at her question, he leaned into the booth seat as he pondered her answer. “I like the game.” He started, because he did enjoy the sport – cliché as it may have been, he saw no reason to lie about that. “But I think I would have stopped playing years ago, if it wasn’t for my Dad. There was hobbies I liked more, hobbies I would have chosen in a different life – not in this one where I couldn’t give up the small link I still have to him.” Which was more honest than anything else he’d said. It was also the first time he’d voiced that, preferring to tell most people he was simply in love with the sport. Though most people didn’t seem to think it was as over-rated as she seemed to, so nobody really questioned it. “So you’re saying I shouldn’t consider a career in acting? Pity, I was hoping to be the next DiCaprio” He sighed dramatically, before thanking the waitress as she came over with the drinks. “Never ate out too much for dinner, think my mom would have killed me if I wouldn’t eat dinner with her cause I’d ate out earlier.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

She nodded at him. If she were honest with herself she was actually pretty bummed about her lyrics. It wasn’t exactly easy to even make a second draft when your first draft was all a mess now. But writing lyrics was just a hobby anyway right? She reminded herself. Annabelle didn’t really enjoy being sad so she had to keep on keeping on. “Would you though?” Sam never really seemed like the type to be jealous to her, especially not of his twin. A soft laugh bursted from lips at his idea. “I doubt many people would come. Plus I don’t think there’s any way to ban alcohol at a high school party successfully. And hosting, I can’t even imagine. Whenever I’m at a party I can’t help but worry about the house like, I would be on edge the whole time!” She laughed lightly. God she missed him so much. But she didn’t like when he avoided dealing with what was going on around him. It worried her. Though she tended to deal with things similarly, maybe that was why they had worked so well together. Her head shook at him, “Long as you know it’s not a good idea.” She couldn’t help from pressing him just a little bit.

“No, I wouldn’t.” He laughed softly. There was no reason to keep the joke going, not when they both knew he wasn’t the jealous type – especially not when it came to his brother. Someone else’s success, didn’t negate your own, which ruled out the need for jealousy in his mind. Focusing on jealousy also seemed nonsensical to him, that time could be better spent improving yourself, or doing something you enjoyed – focusing on other people would never help your mood. “I’m sure plenty of people would come if you had decent food. I’d rather go to a party with good snacks, than one with copious amounts of alcohol and I’m sure I’m not the only one.” Maybe the minority, but definitely not the only person. “You could always rent somewhere and you wouldn’t need to worry about your house.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need the idea to the pretend scenario, but it did let them talk about something other than them – and he wanted to keep that going. “You worry about things when you need to, and right now, I have no reason to worry about anything. That way I can focus on making sure the move didn’t put me behind in classes – seems the smart way of doing it to me.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Grant felt her petite arms make their way around his waist which only served to push out a couple more tears as he felt like his heart was going to burst. He knew that his life was a walking tragedy but he tried his best to stay afloat. But right now he had absolutely no energy to keep himself afloat. His hand moved to rub her arm gently. Sam and Ben needed a dad that the universe had stolen from them. And that dad was him. He’d never get back the years of watching them grow up and all the birthdays and memories that came with it. A part of him definitely was able to settle a little bit when she said he wasn’t alone anymore. If that meant that she’d be letting him into her and their sons lives then he knew that he could get through this. With Olivia, he was sure of that. Grant pushed out a breath as he turned to face her, removing a few more tears from his face. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Well I’m not but none of us are. But–we will be and–we can be. And–god it’s going to be hard but I want you to know that I’m in this and I’m ready to do this if you’ll have me.” He knew it was important for him to assert that so that she understood where he was coming from. “You can say anything you want Liv, I’m here for you however you want to be. But you’re right, I don’t know what to say because this situation is impossible. But it’s only because I don’t want to drive you away.” He admitted, just trying to be as honest with her as he possibly could so that at least she could walk away knowing what his intentions were. He felt he at least owed her that knowledge so she could do with it what she pleased. Grant nodded at her, knowing she was right. The boys came first and this was difficult enough for him, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Sam and Ben were going to feel once they realized their father was back in their lives. “Of course I want them to. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ll do whatever and however you want and whatever they want. All I want is to be whatever you all need and want me to be. No more, no less.”

‘But we will be’ She couldn’t say she believed the sentiment, though she wanted. Having their whole family back together was literally something straight out of a dream, but it was never meant to happen like that. She had a difficult enough time with the knowledge he’d left them behind – no matter how hard it had been for him – she had no idea how Sam and Ben would handle it, but she was placing her bets on neither of them handling it in the best way. Ben was barely handling moving well, and Sam had inherited her way of dealing with things – ignoring them in favour of pretending everything was fine. “We’ll be okay.” She parroted, with as firm a nod as possible. She may not have believed it, but she could imagine he’d need someone to reiterate that things were going to be okay. There was also the fact she had no idea, if there was anyone else in his life who could tell him things would be all right in the end. “I don’t know what I want to say.” For a brief second, she worried if the line could be misconstrued as cold, as though she was mentally pushing him away, but it was the most honest statement she could give. She had no idea how she felt, which inferred the fact she had no idea what to say. He was saying all the right things, yet somehow it still didn’t seem like enough. From the moment she’d had to tell their children their father wasn’t coming back, she’d done her best to shield them from anything that could possibly hurt them – it probably wasn’t the healthiest way to parent, she’d always felt like they’d been through enough and they didn’t need anything else added to their plate. This she couldn’t avoid, she couldn’t shield from the hurt they were bound to feel. Even if it hurt them, they had a right to know their father was alive, and they could do whatever they wanted the information – and she’d remind them she was there if they needed someone to talk to. For the first time in years, they’d also have their other parent around to talk to if they needed. Sniffling as she tried to hold back tears, she put a smile back on her face. “Where do you work?” It wasn’t an important question in the grand scheme of things, but she needed the conversation to steer away from emotions, until she could get her own back in check.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Her mouth dropped open playfully at his clear joke. “How dare you just throw me out like that when I’m in such a vulnerable state! Cold Davidson, stone cold.” She teased. Never had she ever felt so incredibly thankful for their playful friendship to surface between them. Of course, she loved this part of their friendship normally but right now it felt like the biggest breath of fresh air she’d ever taken. Maybe it meant that she didn’t have to be as scared as she was. If they could just stay here then maybe they could right the ship of their friendship and stay the course. But there was definitely a part of her that would never stop thinking about a different direction for their proverbial ship. It was all confusing though. Because maybe those feelings were only even there because she missed Tyler and a relationship. She couldn’t even properly sort out how she felt and she definitely didn’t want to drag Noah into any of that until she was sure. She laughed along with him, shaking her head. It was silly of her to even think that, she was honestly just so happy he’d brought it up at all. “Right, that was silly. Guess I just am that ready for a do over.” Bailey placed her hands between her legs rolling her eyes at herself. “Suppose we’ll have to see if Nate and Fie can first.” She offered before nodding at him. Even though she usually made fun of him when he said such nonsense about being right and his ideas, this night felt different and she was honestly thankful for often he really did have the answers. “I know, I know.” Bailey looked over at him, wishing she could just be cuddled up to him in his arms because that was the absolute safest place she knew and it looked extremely tempting at the moment. “Yeah. I really, really need a night out where I can take my mind off everything. Like I just need a break you know?”

“I’m the coldest guy around.” He deadpanned, though he could admit some definitely saw him that way. Ignoring feelings sometimes in order to let logic dictate his actions could come across as cold, he liked to think those who knew him, knew he only fell back on logic when he couldn’t make sense of his feelings but needed to do something. Which was his current case, he didn’t know how to deal with the feelings that had surfaced that night, so he fell back on logic – and logic told him he and Bailey were friends, and that came with clearly defined boundaries, and a clear ‘no feelings’ rule. All of which lead him to concluding his only course of action was to ignore those feelings, and put them down to simply being drunk. They’d disappear when he was fully sober. They had to.”I don’t know about Nate, but has Fie ever said no to getting out of town for a night or two?” The others might not need a night away, but he wasn’t sure who would turn down the chance to get away for a night. Leave any problems they might have at home, and go somewhere where nobody knew them, and they could just have fun. It also helped that if Nate and Fie were around, the chances of repeating that night were greatly reduced which was exactly what Noah and Bailey needed, people around to help them avoid landing in the same awkward position. Nodding at her words, he offered her a more genuine smile than before. “Yeah I know.” He replied softly. A break was what that night was meant to be, apparently the best laid plans didn’t always turn out right. “Since it’s meant to take your mind off things... Where would you like to go?” It may have been his idea, but it only seemed fair to let her pick the destination – and if the others did want to go, he was sure they would agree.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Nate caught the blush she tried to hide from him. Instinctually he gently lifted her chin up, “You can hide that if you want too but you deserve to feel that Col.” He smiled softly at her, meeting her eyes in hopes that he might solidify his words. Maybe he was being too forward and pushy about it, but he desperately wanted Col to see in herself what he did. Her boyfriend just got away with pushing her down when she deserved to be lifted up on a pedestal. And sure, Nate probably had her a bit too high on that pedestal. But in his mind it’s exactly where she deserved to be. “Well most people aren’t paying attention then.” But Nate did. And he liked to think he’d always seen her. Nate realized that Col was tiptoeing around what he’d brought up, but he also knew that even if she didn’t admit it, she understood what he was saying. As the kiss broke between them, his hand dropped down to the counter, her petite body was surrounded by him. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t exactly where he wanted her to be. The break in the kiss also gave him a moment to realize that this was actually happening between them. He couldn’t believe after all this time he finally got to be honest with her. Nate had wasted no time worrying about what she might think, jumping head first into that night because he didn’t want to waste a second of it while he had her here. This could be the beginning of something he’d wanted for so long. It was incredible and he had to take a moment to breathe it in. Nate smiled softly at her before popping his head around the corner to see Noah’s door closed with the light on. He could hear faint voices that were easy to place, “It looks like Noah and Bailey are here. But they’ll stay in there because nothing can interrupt their precious time together.” He mocked before returning to face her, “But we can move to my room if you’d prefer?”

Laughing softly as he mocked his roommate, she nodded at the question. “Your room.” She confirmed. She had no idea where that night would lead them, she didn’t want to stop and work out where she wanted it to lead – but if it did lead somewhere, the last thing she needed was for Noah to come out and catch them in a compromising position. Granted, she’d taken on a few risqué roles in the past, but that was entirely different – roles weren’t her. Then there was also the fact she wanted to pretend they were in their own little bubble and the rest of the world didn’t exist, that bubble would be burst the instant someone else happened to walk into the room. They couldn’t ignore that they weren’t living in their own little world at that point, and then they’d have to deal with the fact  there could be consequences to their actions – and she wanted them to have a little fun, before having to deal the possible fallout for what was happening. With one last light kiss, she slid off the counter offering him her hand. “Lead the way.” She spoke, with a sly smile. It wasn’t a place she imagined herself ending up that night, but something about it just felt right.  And so far, the fantasies she’d dreamt up in her head seemed to be playing out just the way she always pictured. Maybe it hadn’t started that way, considering none of those fantasies had started with randomly running into him when she was looking for a drunken hookup with someone else. Nonetheless, where they were at that moment was exactly where she always wanted. It also helped that he seemed as focused on her enjoying the night, as much as he wanted to. That was something that hadn’t happened for a while, and it only confirmed in her mind that Nate deserved better friends than her ex.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

While he claimed he never expected anything when he came here, he clearly was expecting her to express her feelings about him. “You say you don’t expect anything, and yet you are getting what you want. Hearing me say that you broke my heart. Hearing me be upset over you. What do I get? A conditional appearance so that I don’t have to be caught off guard and you don’t have to be embarrassed just in case things go to shit when I see you?” She hated swearing. But it popped out of her mouth before she could stop it. “But yes, Ash, I’m glad you are getting what you want out of this.” Alice rolled her eyes. She was getting angry now. He probably wanted that too, which only served to increase the frustration she was feeling. Alice turned away from him. At this point there was no way she could protect her heart. The cat was out of the bag now that she had never fully gotten over him and there was no way she could put it back in. She drew in a few deep breaths, knowing that she did not want to be mean to him nor hurt him. A stupid, dumb part of her also didn’t want to drive him away. “So you want me to feel how I’m feeling.” Alice decided to just follow his lead because that seemed like the path of least resistance which was her favorite kind of path. “I’m angry that you left. And I’m angry that you’ve come back and are asking for my feelings. The thing is, I don’t have to share them with you. In fact, you’re the last person I should have to share them with. But I guess old habits die hard. So there you have it.” And now Alice got to feel pathetic and defeated giving him exactly what he wanted, but, path of least resistance right? She turned back towards him now as her arms crossed, “Since we’re in the business of sharing feelings tonight, let’s hear some of yours.”

What did she get? It was a fair question, and one he didn’t have an answer for. If it hadn’t been for his sister and the twins, he wouldn’t have stepped foot back into the town, to avoid having to upset her. But from what he’d heard, his sister needed some help and that was the only way he could think to provide it. “I was never worried about being embarrassed.” He interjected, because the idea of ever being embarrassed of anything that involved her hadn’t crossed his mind. If she got angry in public, she got angry in public. If people ended up staring at them because of it, he could care less – he only wanted to avoid that for her sake. He might not put much stock into it, but Alice would. She’d always been a people pleaser, and he loathed the idea of anyone shooting her glares if they did end up in a public awkward encounter. “No, you don’t have to share your feelings with me.” Holding to restrain himself from tacking on the fact she did however, have to share them with someone which she never readily did. If she couldn’t put a positive spin on things, she seemed to keep it to herself and he hated that for her. In an odd way, he was glad she was angry – it meant she had some outlet for her current feelings, even if he wasn’t happy about the fact he was the current reason for her anger. He’d known that he hurt her, but knowing it and hearing her confirm it were two entirely different things. “My feelings?” That had caught him off guard, his feelings seemed nowhere near as important as her’s. He wasn’t entirely certain how he felt in that moment, other than wishing there was some easy fix for them – but alas, they didn’t live in a fairytale where happily ever after happened for everyone. “I... Don’t think my feelings are that valid right now.” Which wasn’t the answer she’d want to hear, but he also had no idea what she would want to hear.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

“Living life, eating amazing food you never even dreamed of tasting so good, laughing harder than you ever have, falling love, kissing, driving a fast car, so many things. But sure, enjoy your perfect hair.” He rambled on before finishing with a tease. Teasing, a skill that Spencer was extremely well versed in, maybe too well versed. But never had he met such a quintessential woman for his teases to lend to so perfectly. He was simply delighted by her. And Ophelia, what a name. “Now that’s a beautiful name. A fun one too, I half expected a Sarah or a Laura, but Ophelia. Princess Ophelia…really has quite the ring to it doesn’t it.” And while his teases did lend so perfectly to her, she also managed to greet each of them with such fervor that continuously left him wanting more and then some. His smile muscles were honestly feeling starting to feel strained because he was enjoying his time with her that much already. “Interesting, see I would’ve thought that princesses would put politeness and manners above all else. You know, mind your p’s and q’s and all of that. But you’re a different princess right?” He teased again, sarcastically emphasizing the word ‘different’. He wondered if she was enjoying their time together at all, but he at least had gotten as far as he had with the offer for dinner and he genuinely was interested in showing her a good time. “You’re young! Live a little, that’s what being young is for. 40 year old housewives can worry about their salmon salads. And there’ll be plenty of time for that later on.” Spencer wondered if, but more so, when he would overstep his bounds. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was honestly curious. “Oh I’m definitely worried you’ll judge. But then again, you’re right, you’ll probably judge. I just want you to keep an open mind about the food instead of judging it before you’ve even tasted it but I suppose it’ll be hard to fight your tastebuds so I have nothing to worry about.” He shrugged, though the bright grin didn’t leave his features. She could go toe to toe with him with such ease. He loved it.

“I’ve dined in the best restaurants, laugh around people who are genuinely funny, I’d rather have fun than love right now – and I have an amazing car as well as great hair, so why not try again?” She spoke, looking at her nails the entire time as though bored with the conversation. If she was being honest, it was one of the more interesting conversations she’d had lately. It wasn’t someone simply bragging about the latest thing their parents had bought them, which usually ended up with her downing her drink and making some excuse to leave. It wasn’t something she could predict what came next and she happened to enjoy that, but she didn’t have to show that she did. “Obviously I’m a different princess, who wants to blend in with a crowd?” Which was closer to the truth than anything else she’d ever said. Blending into the crowd was never something that she wanted to do. She had always loved the spotlight, even if she traditionally couldn’t be herself in the spotlight – but people were still looking at her, and hopefully thinking she was doing her best. “I’m sure my tastehuds are in the same place as your decorum.” Her head tilting back slightly to put her nose into the air, hoping that was enough to clue him into the fact it was a joke. It wasn’t exactly something to get offended by, especially not when she thought she had pretty good taste in everything. It was why her closest was so carefully put together – because it took her hours to pick out each item of clothing, needing to make sure that each piece was up to her standards. “So... If I promise that even if I judge I’ll still try it, will you tell me where we’re going? Unless it’s somewhere you have to eat with your hands, I’m not running a perfectly good manicure for food I’m not sure would be worth it.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

“Oh not that long just like a few months. I don’t know some of it’s probably salvageable but they weren’t that good anyway so maybe it was meant to be you know. Second draft is always better than the first right?” Annabelle remained positive as she brushed it off, at least believing that she could write good lyrics. And then, if only she actually had the courage to get up and sing them. Sam had been one of the only people she’d ever played her music to, him and Col. She remembered the first time she played for him so well, often running back the memory in her mind whenever she needed an extra bit of confidence to keep going. She shook her head with a scoff, “It’s true he can get along with anyone. But parties are overrated anyway. People just like to get drunk and show off. Plus people always get left out. I don’t like that.” She’d made plenty of friends here too but she was a bit shy so parties had never really been her scene. “Yeah, I guess so. But you’ll have to adjust the other ways eventually right?”

He had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes when she mentioned that they weren’t good. Granted he hadn’t read them so he couldn’t say for certain, but she’d never been one to acknowledge when she’d written something amazing. “I guess you’re right, second drafts are always better.” She did have a point, first drafts were often messy because they were raw and you wanted them down on paper as quick as possible, second drafts let you refine them – and he wasn’t going to try and take her silver lining away from her. “I’d be annoyed if I didn’t like him so much.” He joked, though he’d never cared much that Ben tended to make friends easier – all he ever needed was a couple of close friends, he’d never thrived in large groups. A soft smile fought it’s way onto her face as she mentioned not liking people feeling left out. “Maybe you should throw your own? Make sure nobody gets left out and ban drinks so people can’t make drunken mistakes.” Though he was sure if he’d been serious, very few high schoolers would show up to a party sans alcohol. “Maybe.” He conceded with a shrug. “But that seems like a problem for future me to deal with.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Grant just shook his head with her response, shrugging. It didn’t matter that she’d apparently already begun to process that it wasn’t all his fault. This was a very positive thing because it meant the window had opened just that much more between them. Though he wasn’t sure if any of this was real given that she really had had no time to process at this point. He knew Olivia well enough, but he didn’t know how to comprehend her in this situation, let alone what could’ve changed about her since he’d last seen her. He sighed as she began pulling up the picture, but kept a strained smile on his face. “I have no doubt they’re amazing kids.” If there was one thing he knew for sure about leaving his family behind, it was that his kids were in the best hands they could possibly be in. Olivia’s love and care for the twins never wavered once and she had a way with them that had always been so magical to Grant. To turn his back on them like that was beyond excruciating. Grant gingerly reached out to the phone to take a first look at his two sons who’d grown up way more than he could’ve ever even imagined despite the fact that he was around boys their age all the time. His had drew up to his face, as he cupped his cheeks just staring into their eyes. They had Olivia’s eyes, but his own dimples. And definitely were both blessed with the Pierson hair. He was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as he realized just how much of their lives he’d missed and would never ever get back. It was feeling he had managed to put on the back burner for so long but now seeing a picture of them there was no room left to avoid it. He placed the phone on the counter as he pulled his hand over the rest of his face, tears falling down as he felt his body caving in, processing the loss.

Olivia had been so focused on shifting the conversation away from them, that she’d never thought about what his reaction to seeing their kids would be – which meant she was completely caught off guard by the tears. Instinct more than anything seemed to kick her mind into gear, as she closed the distance between them, hugging him from behind, hoping it would offer some small comfort. Being so close to him almost felt dangerous, it was too familiar – it blurred the lines between who they were and who they were in that moment. That however wasn’t as important as her need to offer him some comfort, to let him know he wasn’t alone in the moment – even if she couldn’t fully put herself in his shoes. “It’s... Well it’s not okay, but you’re not alone anymore.” She spoke softly, as if speaking at her usual volume would ruin the moment, or cause him to sob harder. “Is there... Anything I can do to help?” She couldn’t stand seeing him in pain, she’d never been able to idly sit by and watch him be upset. The difference was before she usually knew what to do or say to get his spirit to lift even a little, this time it was as though she was on a road trip with no map and had no idea where each decisions was going to lead her. Pulling back from him, she stayed closer than before wanting to be able to see his facial expressions, to try and work out how he was feeling. “I... I don’t think either of us know the right thing to do or say right now, so I’m not going to try.” She spoke honestly, there wasn’t any use hiding it – they both knew there was no guide on how to handle their current situation. “What I do know is... This is a small town, and the chances of avoiding people is incredibly slim, we wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t ran into each other earlier. I think they need to know – if... if you want them to. Then we... Deal with it for us.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Ame leaned in, “And what happened with your dad?” She questioned, inquisitive as ever. But if she was going to be sitting here she might as well get a better understanding of him. Plus, he seemed set on coming to the diner in the first place so she felt she could take advantage of that. “Why because you’re repeating me or calling me cliche? You’re answer was a cliche jock answer because god forbid you ever be passionate about anything other than sports. That’d be so uncool of you.” She didn’t know why she was explaining all of this. “Fascinating.” She couldn’t help but add sarcastically because she simply wasn’t very interested in ranking their subject interests. The manager came over to their table just in time, “The usual for you and your dad Ame?” He questioned with a soft smile as he was familiar with her home situation. “Yes but I’ll take the fries here. And we better add an extra chocolate milkshake for Pops.” She gave him a look and he nodded her way before turning to Ben. Her dad was not going to be happy that his dinner was late but the milkshake would hopefully quell some of his anger. 

“He died when I was four, some freak accident according to the police.” He shrugged acting as nonchalantly as he could. It was always going to be one of the most pivotal moments in his life, people always seemed to assume given the time that had passed that he’d overcome it by that point. While he had to an extent, he was sure that he’d never stop wishing he had both his parents around for the important life moments. “The football thing is something that I can pretend he’d be happy about.” It wasn’t as if his mother or Sam had ever been all that interested in it, but it was something he couldn’t picture ever giving up, even if he did end up playing just for recreation. “Because I was repeating what you said, makes it seem like some dumb line.” And he had enough corny lines in his arsenal to use without needing to add to them. Smiling at the manager as they came over, he waited until she was finished before ordering a burger and soda. “It’s the kind of place that remembers people’s usual? That’s kinda nice in it’s own, we never had something like that back home.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

Her hand absentmindedly went up to scratch another itch that was not there. “Um n-no, well I mean maybe I’ll have to look. Just some lyrics I’ve been writing down. Should really be writing them in pencil. But you know, old habits I guess.” They weren’t any good anyway so maybe this was just meant to be. She couldn’t really be upset if it meant she’d be near Sam anyway if she were honest with herself. She didn’t mean to but it was hard not to miss him. “Right, right of course.” Her hand flopped to her side as she looked down momentarily. She didn’t want to think about the fact that someone else prettier and cooler than her would probably show him around. But they were supposed to be finding themselves right? “I did hear that he left school with Amelia Dent. Kinda surprised she even left with him at all. She’s kind of a loner.” And stoner, at least Annabelle knew she sold anyway. She shrugged initially at his question a little excited that they were getting the opportunity to talk for the first time in so long, “Oh, I’ve been okay. Dad’s busy and mom needs to be busy as per the usual. It’s a cute little town which is fun. How’s the whole adjustment period going?”

Mentally kicking himself for thinking she looked cute, he tried to focus on the moment and act as though she was someone he randomly bumped into – and not the girl he was certain there was always going to be residual feelings for. Maybe he judged his brother too much for being so upset at moving away from his girlfriend, when all it took was running into Annabelle to make him wonder what they’d been thinking when they broke up. “How long were you working on them?” He’d always loved hearing her talk about music, even if it wasn’t something she seemed to notice she was great at – he loved seeing the look in her eyes whenever the topic was brought up. “You know Ben, he’s always been the kind of person that’s hard not to get along with. I’m pretty sure most of my party invites were because people felt they couldn’t invite him without inviting me.” He joked, though he was sure that was exactly why he got invited to most parties. Not that he could be mad, he wasn’t as outgoing as his brother and therefore never made as many friends. “It’s... Fine. I’m focusing on school, makes adjusting easier when the work doesn’t change much.”

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

She hated seeing the tightness in his smile. It was just another reminder of how weird their friendship had managed to become tonight. She also hated the strain she could see in his shoulders and the way he sat as far away from her on the bed as possible. Bailey had to keep reminding herself that he’d at least kissed back so he didn’t think she was like–disgusting for having kissed him? The last thing she could take right now would be outright rejection from Noah. She supposed a part of her was okay living with the idea that just maybe there was something more to them than just a friendship. But she quickly slapped that idea out of her mind, “Well shoot, and here I was all ready to pick out Sound of Music.” She joked, before turning her attention to the Netflix dashboard as she absentmindedly began to scroll through the available titles. Though she wasn’t really all that much attention, her mind drifting back to the kiss they’d shared earlier that night which she knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of her head. While their friendship hung in the balance, she did take a moment to enjoy the solace of that moment they’d shared until Noah suddenly spoke up. Her head cocked to the side curiously as her brow furrowed, “You mean like, tonight? Or like tomorrow or something?” Once again, Bailey got that feeling she always did around Noah where he made her feel so warm and special. She was also thrilled that he wanted to continue spending time with her even after tonight and possibly even make a plan for the future. That meant so much to her. Her arms came to rest around waist as she hugged herself, feeling lucky again to be his friend. “But yes, thank you. I would really like that. A get away sounds like just what I need–you know–clear my head and press the reset button and all that.”

“You pick sound of music, and I’ll get an uber for you.” He joked, thankful for something that seemed more normal for them. Something that seemed ‘them’, and let him hit pause on the mess of emotions currently going through his mind that he had no idea how to deal with. “Maybe not tonight.” He laughed softly with a shake of his head. “I meant the next time we have some time to hit pause on life, and go out and have a good time. We could do tomorrow.” Though he wasn’t sure if that would be the best possibility. He did want one night where they could go out, and have a night where they didn’t blur the lines between platonic and romantic – he wasn’t sure if he could handle it being the next day however. He couldn’t picture himself working past the confusion that quickly, especially when they were about to spend the night together, and when he’d probably end up making breakfast for them the next morning – because that’s what he always done whenever she stayed over. “I have the best ideas, haven’t you learnt that by now?” He joked, wondering why those moments seemed so normal when nothing else that night had. Maybe it was a sign that he was just over thinking things. That they’d had one fleeting moment of crossing the line, but they didn’t run over it so far that they couldn’t make their way back into friendship territory. Reaching for the glass of water, he took a sip before setting it back on the nightstand. “I think we could both use a decent night out, take our mind off reality and just have fun.” And get their mind off each other, which would be a lot easier to do when they were surrounded by other people – and she wasn’t wearing his clothes.

[thexmuzes]

pastawrites​:

She found herself thankful that he didn’t respond though she was curious what he was thinking about it. If nothing else, Ben the new kid had her curious. His answer couldn’t possibly have been more boring to her though. It was bad enough they were on the subject of school classes but now he was that guy picking lunch and gym. “Ugh, could you be any more of a cliche jock right now?” It was how she honestly felt but she was also teasing him a tiny, little bit as well. She was a little bit confused though, her brow furrowing at his answer because luckily he’d left her with something of mild interest to her. Though even if she hadn’t she was well on her way to this cafe with someone who she didn’t really think was a cliche jock, but maybe it was some sort of wishful thinking. They made their way into the cafe, taking a seat at her favorite booth. It was the only one she’d ever really sat at if she sat inside. “If Biology is the serious answer then what were the other answers?” She questioned as she sat across from him.

Laughing softly when she mentioned ‘cliché jock’ he gave as casual a shrug as he could. “Football is the last thing I can remember doing with my dad. Might be cliché, but it’s the only thing that makes me feel close to him.” Was it the answer she was probably expecting? No, but he saw no reason to hide it. If it hadn’t been for his father passing, Ben couldn’t say for certain he’d be as interested in football. Following her into the cafe, he had to admit it seemed pretty ordinary – though he probably shouldn’t have expected much else, there wasn’t a lot people could do with a cafe. “If I say English does that seem cliché since it’s what you said?” He teased, slipping into the booth opposite her. “But it is up there, my mother used to be an English teacher and I think it just... rubbed off a little. I’d say art takes third place. Might not be the best at it, but I like it.” It wasn’t exactly the most impressive answer in the world, but it was honest – and given he wasn’t going to be honest about everything, he figured it was only fair to be honest when he could.