theysaidtheysaid

[theysaidtheysaid]

it’s weird,

that i feel so much better rn,,,

and i’m drunk 🥴

,,,and this was the secret of thinking i was happy in my early youth

how long would u be able to survive sober ? ,how deep is the unhappiness you don’t face everyday

let me know!—————but don’t, bc i don’t care

i just wanted to sound right and like i knew something ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[theysaidtheysaid]

break break break break break

line

break break break break break

line

break break break break break

line

[theysaidtheysaid]

go over the bridge——if u like!

moss grows there too,,,,

identical forest fires~

kiss in the distance;

field in ur vision,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,???

[theysaidtheysaid]

to the white women who

ditched me

broke up with me

                                                                      ghosted me

after i had cancer

after i had menopause

after i asked for a little more love

i hope you are treated better

thru ur trying times

                                but if you aren’t

remember how you felt about me

                                    and perhaps

you’ll feel some solidarity then

[theysaidtheysaid]

(i knew it all along)

i know u were a douchebag

that time

you showed me a picture

of my friend who u slept with

she knelt down to tie ur shoelaces

you laughed and took a photo

subjugation in ur affect

[theysaidtheysaid]

(it smells like piss and rain)

which is confusing

and fits the mood

like i’m in limbo and all i want is to be grateful all the time

but it’s that i want all the time

when i’m supposed to accept grey

stop looking for black and white

[theysaidtheysaid]

(the glitter on their shoes matches but only kind of)

but it’s mother and daughter tossing back and forth a piece of a flower no a toy and with the way this girl is laughing her curls are shaking with her belly there’s a pleasant breeze in the train and yesterday’s thunderstorm is calming us all

her minions shirt and pink glitter sandals

[theysaidtheysaid]

(sad photog)

beauty is skin deep and in the eye of the beholder ,,,,,they say

well i have skin AND eyes

(pooling)

          pristine water swirl, blink

         contact, lens

.click

                  retouched skin

(i woke up like this)

           #shutterbug

[theysaidtheysaid]

(the process of spending 300€)

a contemplation—

(a) consumptive energy

(b) churning material

     from forM2

                            form 2 FOrM 2 ForM

            2 fORm

     2 forM

2 FoRm

         4 our benefit (pollution)

symbiosis with animate material ?

         WE ACCEPT

nRESPONSIBILITYo 4  objects,

        (perhaps we only taRESPONSIBILITYke 4 ourSELVES)

     —the “?” lingered

dishwashers, asked one man

vacuums, coveted he moments l8r

3 wheel in-line skates,

                      desired a third fellow

european sewing machine,

s(t)he(y)       missed dearly

                 ~

(sounds went out of their mouths)

(& in n out of pensive ears)

                  ~

but ‘to wonder’ belongs to the Artist

To Wunder (kind) of

freely forever

is the greatest

dream

of all

what r/trees r out there

to stoke these blues into flames of passion

green for green for green for itself like anyone owns anything at all (drug empowerment awkwardness)

pain relief; heartache paused

... will resume download ...

...

...

...

...

...

...

....

.......

..........

..................zZzZZzzzZZZZ

.......……,

..........x

[theysaidtheysaid]

d4ntyne ice ,like:

nic333333333333 ~~~~~~~>

shyyyy-ne on ur t44th n

kewl gum on ur tongue ~~pssst

                   ~   like u foggggggy bit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ch

                  cos we watered the dry ice

         to drown out ur shifty lil dry eyes ~

ca-co-pho-N33     like w3 full of Shit n we loud

                        n(other) fuck3r

o br(other) where r

                 we shouting 2 eh (?)

no, whisper no,,, bang bang,,,,,, whimper world, ov3r ! ~~~~

[theysaidtheysaid]

(nausea)

grunt of a poem

from inside my belly

ravenous is too big a word

too long to describe this hunger

vacuum like cavern, my pit

sucked dry

no salt left

i heave

[theysaidtheysaid]

(6/3/19)

love it

when the dealer texts me with a menu

weed is my main squeeze rn tbqh and i’m fine with it

i’m pretty productive

i’m dating weed

that’s kinda true

i could wean off

onto a person

but that’s too

much pressure

on them so i

will have to ween

myself off somehow

without being in

a relationship

for the moment i am sitting in my underwear on my couch sunning myself

i just hung up the laundry so it smells

fresh in the air

and i’ll puff on a joint soon enough

this nylon blend underwear is holding in the fragrance oozing out of my pussy rn

i just made my first porn video and filmed myself cumming spliced with a bad painting i made ,,,, its all very amateur hour and S xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx Y

if i do say so myself

why do i still feel bad flaking on that blonde boy who was a consultant it’s only bc we did have matching taste but he didn’t seem funny    he got boring bc i got self conscious bc he was perfect on paper and i couldn’t look up into his eyes irl bc i am just a CHiKeN sHiT ! covered in fashion

[theysaidtheysaid]

[theysaidtheysaid]

Honest Things I Managed To Say To A Friend (what noticing progress looks like to me today)

“like i got used to sad

as if sad is what gave me meaning”

(pavlovian sadness and i wonder about dog love)

‘i just resented the phrase

                “if u know u know”

as if —- it was leaving ME out

                                               personally !!!!!! ‘

“i have disdain for my own desire for money and i guess my own desire”

~ a therapy poem

[theysaidtheysaid]

(bald ambition)

ain’t the cutest lqqk i ever did saw 

        stepping on toes like whatever you’re not the same color i wear on my feet

         stomp ‘em down

                                       stomp stomp like ur on a runway but it’s the airplane hallway and u forgot to order a meal and there aren’t even peanuts for the gallery bc you’re Broke or pretending bc it’s fashionable

gimme a break and i don’t mean kit kat Klub ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

eye roll eye roll eye roll

                                       takes its toll all this bright whiteness

                                       hurts the eye

[theysaidtheysaid]

july 25, 2019

they say ur supposed to write bad poetry at twenty seven and that it could even stop you from killing yourself before the year is over

how nice

how kind

what Good advice,,,,,

jest in joke i was best in toke but then my head broke and now i don’t smoke but i’m so bored bc motivation has not got so much to do with figurative location and it’s just my luck my dramatic conclusions

[theysaidtheysaid]

(imposter syndrome)

impose urself like u were an impostor and Imp or imitate u chimp,,,,,pose bc you wouldn’t know how to post without a position

kardashian imposed beauty

impostor syndrome clickbait strategy

poses clicked n con(^art)-sum(m)-ed

ch(imp)ostor-ortant, or or or

pose

pos(itive)ly fake

imposition

position

pastor

pastoral

ass story

a story

a sorry

a sore thing

as is or the in thing

be thin(KING)

or

pose,,,,,,, (i’m)

posing 🖖🏽